Can't Get Enough

by Molly McLain

  “You’ve had six years.”

  Was he serious? Of course, he was. He was Derek Hodges. Professional linebacker and ladies’ man. Used to getting whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it. And since January, when in a moment of weakness, she’d given him just that, he’d set his sights on her again. No doubt so he could tear her down just like he used to.

  “Celebrating that win with you was a mistake,” she said resolutely. “It should have never happened.” She almost apologized for giving him false hope, but she’d been apologizing for years, dammit. It was part of his control game. A skill he’d mastered early in their young relationship and perfected in their marriage. Until she’d honed an ability of her own—practicing self-respect—and left him. “Listen, I’m working right now. I can’t talk.”

  “Working? I thought you were in River Bend.”

  “I am.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be selling the house and moving up north? Damn, Nic, I’m starting to think your dreams of living in Chicago were just an excuse to get rid of me all those years ago. Though you did come back to me pretty easily last winter, so...”

  “Screw you, Derek.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, you did screw me, Nicole. And I’m willing to bet you’re screwing some hard-up farmer over there in Loserville right now too.”

  Click.

  She threw her phone at the other end of the couch and covered her face with trembling hands.

  She really needed to stop answering his calls, but sometimes it was easier to let him break her down for those few moments than to ignore his calls altogether and worry about whether or not he’d get pissed and show up on her doorstep instead.

  He’d only done that a couple times, in the year following the divorce. A couple times too many and he’d scared the crap out of her. For almost five years, she managed to keep him at bay, but then, like a fool, she let down her guard and, just like that, he was back to where he left off six years ago. Telling her she’d be nothing without him.

  She was smart enough and had endured enough therapy to know that wasn’t true, but that didn’t make his berating words any less difficult to hear.

  She needed to put Denver behind her. She needed to take care of her business in River Bend and get on with her life as soon as possible.

  Brianna kicked her feet in the playpen and, welcoming the distraction, Nicole scooped the little girl into her arms. “Don’t ever get married, girlfriend. Some men are just way too moody. Your daddy included.” Not that Tony was anything like Derek. She’d only spent a few hours with the man, but she knew he was different. One of the good guys, even if he had too much on his plate right now.

  Bri slapped Nicole’s chest with a chunky palm and squealed.

  “I know, I know. He’s just uptight because of the crappy hand he’s been dealt.” She kissed the girl’s temple. “No offense, of course, because we both know he wouldn’t trade you for the world. But your dad...he needs some help, pumpkin. And I think we can do that for him. What do you think?”

  Bri blew a big spit bubble as she babbled and Nicole laughed.

  “You’re on, Miss Brianna.”

  Chapter Seven

  His house smelled like lemons. Well, lemons and something soft and feminine. Something sweet.

  Something like Nicole.

  Smiling, Tony followed the giggles to the living room where he was greeted by perfect, heart-shaped ass stuck high in the air. Nicole was on all fours, rocking back and forth in the same fashion as Brianna, who, by quick observation, had made great strides since the night before.

  He didn’t want to break up their little party, but if Nicole didn’t reposition soon, he’d be totally—and inappropriately—hard.

  He cleared his throat and Nicole started, launching herself upright. When her face flushed and her mouth made a pretty pink O, he smiled. “Hi.”

  “Hi yourself,” she said breathlessly. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “I see that.” His gaze slid down to her breasts, which were, once again, about to spill out of her shirt. His lips twitched as she glanced down too, muttered something about ‘damn boobs’, then righted her top.

  “Sorry about that,” she said, pushing to her feet and brushing loose strands of hair from her face.

  “No complaining here.”

  She rolled her eyes and stuck him in the side with an elbow as she walked past to rinse out a bottle in the kitchen. “You look a thousand times more relaxed than this morning,” she called over her shoulder. “I take it you had a good day?”

  “It was okay.” And it was definitely better now that he was home. He opened his mouth to tell her not to worry about the bottle, when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Shit. Just once, he’d like to call it a day and actually call it a day.

  He scrubbed a hand over his face when he saw the familiar toll-free number on the caller ID. Of all the times for her to call... “I should take this. Keep an eye on Bri for another minute?”

  “Of course.” Nicole nodded, curiosity crunching her brow.

  With a disgruntled sigh, he shuffled into the hall and put his cell to his ear. “Yeah?”

  “Tony?”

  Her voice was like the off-key slide of a bow against violin strings and, not for the first time, he wondered how he’d ever managed to carry on a conversation with her, let alone create a child. He wanted to blame it on the alcohol he’d had in his system, but that was a coward’s way out.

  “Shannon.” He greeted her, with as much tolerance as he could muster. “Everything okay?” She’d only called him a couple times since the summer, mostly to pout about how much she hated Bri being so far away. He tried to be as accommodating as possible, taking their daughter to Hastings every couple weeks for a behind-glass visit. The visits went against every bit of his better judgment, but the social worker had preached his ear off about the importance of attachment and a child knowing her mother. Pissed him off to no end, because there was no way Bri was forming any kind of bond with a person she couldn’t even touch.

  But he went along with it. For Bri’s sake, not Shannon’s.

  “Yes, everything is fine. I just miss her. I was hoping I could talk to her.”

  He glanced back at his daughter, still sitting on the living room floor, making a conscious effort to not speak the first words that came to mind. You did this to yourself. You did this to Bri. Don’t expect my sympathy. “Yeah. Hold on.”

  He stalked into the room and found Nicole watching him from the kitchen, brow furrowed. Hell, he could only imagine what she was thinking and how fucking pathetic his life must seem to her.

  “Brianna Bell,” he said, swallowing down his pride. “You wanna talk to your mom?” The five minute warning tone sounded in his ear as he scooped his daughter up off the floor. “Come on, ladybug, we gotta make this quick.”

  Intentionally putting his back to Nicole, he carried Bri toward the other side of the room and held the phone to her ear. He heard Shannon speaking, but he didn’t pay attention to the words. Instead he was preoccupied with the woman behind him. And the humiliation washing over him as he felt the weight of her inquiring gaze.

  What was Nicole thinking? Was she feeling sorry for him? For Bri? Was she wondering how the hell he could have ever gotten involved with woman like Shannon? Or was she reminding herself of all the reasons why women like her should steer clear of guys like him?

  He ground his jaw and closed his eyes. Welcome to your new reality, dumb fuck. You made your bed, now lie in it.

  He gave Shannon another minute before he pulled the phone away from Bri’s ear. She seemed more interested in the Hudson Contracting decal on his t-shirt than the sound coming from the phone anyhow, but he didn’t tell Shannon that. “Time’s just about up,” he said.

  “Yeah,” Shannon whispered and the weepy emotion in her voice made him want to scream at her. “Thank you.”

  He nodded, but he couldn’t keep the bitterness from his voice. “Yep.”

  “Ton
y?”

  For fuck’s sake... “What?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  So was he. But it was too late for apologies and it was definitely too late to change what had happened. All he could do was move forward from her. Brianna counted on him to do just that. “Your mom has Bri next weekend. I’m sure she’ll bring her by for a visit.”

  “Probably.” Sniffle. “Thank you. For everything.”

  One, one thousand, two, one thousand... “You’re welcome. See you in a few weeks.” He hung up as the last tone sounded, signaling time.

  Dipping his head to Bri’s, he kissed her hair and pulled in several slow, deep breaths. Anything, really, to postpone turning around and seeing the questions in Nicole’s eyes.

  Part of him hoped she heard enough that he wouldn’t have to explain, but another part of him wanted to hide it all and pretend his life wasn’t so goddamn pathetic.

  Nicole cleared her throat and, when she spoke, her voice was clear of anything awkward or questioning. “I should get going.”

  His gaze flew to hers and she smiled, her sincerity unwinding the knot in his stomach in an instant. Jesus, she wasn’t even going to ask, was she?

  “You hungry?” he asked suddenly, surprising himself.

  Her cheeks tinted with a hint of color. “Getting there. I have a baked chicken at home waiting to be chopped up for a yummy salad.”

  “Oh.” Sometimes a smile is just a smile, man. “Okay.”

  She looked away—was that regret or pity in her eyes?—and stepped forward to ruffle Bri’s hair. He got another whiff of her sweet scent and his heart ricocheted off his rib cage.

  “I’m sorry, but Ally’s coming over tonight to help again,” she said quietly.

  Right. A reminder that she had a purpose here in River Bend other than to give him false hope and heart palpitations. “Good. I mean, I’m glad to hear that. Same time tomorrow morning then?”

  She nodded, her gaze flickering quickly to his before she gathered her bag and slid into her shoes. “Have good night, Tony.”

  As soon as the door closed behind her, he set Bri down and scrubbed his hands over his face. What the fuck was he thinking? He couldn’t even clean up after himself, for God’s sake. Nicole wasn’t going to touch him with a ten-foot pole.

  He glanced down at Bri and sighed.

  Smart woman.

  ***

  “He’s hot, isn’t he?”

  Nicole shook her head and continued swaddling a trio of matching crystal vases in bubble wrap. “I already told you—I’m not interested in what he looks like.”

  “Uh-huh.” Ally leaned back in her chair and sipped her hot chocolate, eyeing Nicole with more curiosity than she was comfortable with.

  Tony was fantasy material, all right. Someone nice and harmless to think about when she crawled into bed at night, all alone. But no one, not even Ally, needed to know how easily the image of his dark head between her legs had gotten her off. Or how wet she’d been when she thought about climbing onto his lap and riding him like it was an Olympic sport.

  “You’re blushing.”

  Yep, she totally was. Ducking her head, she reached for another vase. “I am not.”

  “You are and, for what it’s worth, I would absolutely support you hooking up with him. He could use someone like you in his life for a little while.”

  “Not going to happen.” And, frankly, the thought of sleeping with him just because he might need to get laid made her feel trashy. If she was going to have sex with Tony, she’d do it because she needed it, too.

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t have time for messing around and neither does he.”

  “Are you serious? Who doesn’t have time for good sex?”

  It would be good, wouldn’t it? God. “I’m not interested.”

  “Yeah, and I’m a twenty-eight-year-old virgin.” Ally made an exaggerated face. “Wait, are you not into men?”

  Ha! “Believe me, I like men just fine. But getting involved with a guy like Tony is just asking for trouble.”

  “A guy like Tony?” Ally tipped her head to the side as Nicole reached past her for another vase.

  “He’s got a lot going on right now.” And since it was clear that Brianna’s mother was still somewhat in the picture, she imagined he had even more on his plate than he’d let on.

  “Oh. So the having a kid thing is a buzzkill. Yeah, I get that.”

  “No.” That wasn’t it at all. In fact... “Fatherhood looks good on Tony. He comes by it naturally. It’s...attractive.” That was an understatement. It was totally panty-melting.

  Ally crossed her arms over her chest. “So why not enjoy it?”

  “I’m only here for a few weeks.”

  “You do realize this is the twenty-first century, right? There’s this thing called casual sex? In fact, lots of people are doing it.”

  “You’re not.”

  “Ppfftt.” Ally waved a hand in the air.

  And that was just it—she could really like Tony. Heck, she already really liked Tony. But at some point, she’d have to walk away. One of them would stop calling the other, or they’d agree to just say goodbye and not look back. And she wasn’t sure she could do that with Tony. He was the type of guy a girl could get hooked on.

  Best to not risk any sort of attachment. Best to just focus on the future and avoid all unnecessary complications until she was comfortably situated in Chicago with her new job and her new life.

  “Hey, I get it. I really do. But I think your cognizance about Tony’s situation makes you the ideal woman for him right now. You realize he’s vulnerable and you know what you can and cannot offer. Just be upfront with him and these next two months could be incredible—in the orgasmic sense—for both of you.”

  “Oh, I’m already orgasmic.”

  Ally’s eyes flew open and her smile spread from one side of her face to the other.

  “Maybe I’ve had a dream or two.” While she was awake. With her vibrator. “I can’t believe I said that out loud.”

  “I can. And now I’m even more convinced you should proposition him. ASAP.”

  “Proposition him? No way. I don’t even know him that well.”

  “That’s the beauty of hooking up—you don’t need to know anything about him other than he gets your juices flowing. And you’ve already let that cat out of the bag.”

  Just because he’d made her come faster, by her own hand, than any man had in a long time, didn’t mean it would be a good idea to take things a step further and let him know exactly how he affected her.

  “At the risk of sounding like a total prude, I can’t do that. I’m perfectly content to fantasize from a distance, thank you very much.”

  “Well, a prude wouldn’t fantasize at all, so that’s something. Maybe you’ll change your mind.”

  “Doubtful.” She was almost convinced of it.

  Chapter Eight

  He had a reliable babysitter—at least for the immediate future—so why the hell was he still so damn on edge?

  Late Tuesday afternoon, Tony parked in his driveway, shut down his truck, and let his head loll back against the seat. He’d slept like shit last night, for one. That always made him cranky and tense. Then he’d gone without coffee this morning—still no creamer—which was enough to make anyone pissy. Then there was Nicole, who, at this very moment, was probably looking gorgeous as hell, playing some goofy game with his daughter in the middle of his living room floor.

  And, in about thirty seconds, he was going to have to walk in and pretend that sight didn’t make him horny as fuck.

  What the hell kinda pervy freak was he anyway, that a woman blowing raspberries and jabbering in a high-pitched voice got his dick hard? Yeah, it had been awhile since he’d gotten laid, but baby talk? That was ten kinds of messed up.

  “You look tired.” Nicole greeted him with a sympathetic smile when he tamped down his rigid mood enough to enter the house. She sat cross-legged on the hardwood floor in fr
ont of the couch, while Bri lay on a fleece blanket beside her, noshing on a teething ring.

  “Long day.” He tossed his ball cap onto the coffee table, then instantly regretted it. His hair, which was the longest it had been since before he’d joined the Corp nine years ago, probably looked like shit.

  Dude, she doesn’t give a damn about your hair. She doesn’t give a damn about you.

  “Yeah? Want to talk about it?” She patted the couch behind her.

  Well, hell.

  “Just another day with the county board,” he said, taking a seat. He’d told her about the courthouse project during one of his calls home the day before, so she was aware of his frustrations.

  “I’m telling you, stick to your guns. In the end, they’re going to realize how right you were. And you’ll have a beautiful building to show for it. Not to mention, they’ll feel like asshats.”

  “Asshats?” A crooked grin tugged at one corner of his mouth and she blushed. God, she was beautiful when she did that. She was fair-skinned enough to have freckles, but the remnants of a golden summer tan still lingered. Not dark enough to hide the color when it stained her cheeks though, and if he had to guess, her face wasn’t the only part of her body that turned that pretty shade of pink.

  “You know what I mean,” she said as she pulled Bri into her arms, got to her feet and held his daughter out to him. “Say hi to Daddy, pumpkin. He looks like he could use some of your sloppy kisses right now.”

  He took Bri, but his focus remained on Nicole. Specifically, her glossy lips. He could use kisses, all right, but not the kind his daughter could give him.

  Dammit. Clearing his throat, he looked away before she noticed him staring. “Ally coming over tonight?”

  “No, she’s working.” Nicole stretched her arms above her head and her t-shirt lifted momentarily, giving him a quick glimpse of a tiny, glittery navel ring. It was the faintest of flashes, but the sparkle, along with the sight of her flat, toned stomach, had all his blood rushing south.

  Think of the county board. Think about all the laundry you need to do. Think about dinner...