Angel (Pieces #1.5)

by Canosa, Jamie

  “Mom. Where were you?”

  “In the bathroom.” All of her makeup had been washed off, but I doubted that was what made her look a million years older all of a sudden. “I called your father.”

  “What did he say?” Nothing I wanted to hear, I was sure.

  “Not much. He was late for a meeting.”

  “He was late for a—?” That useless piece of—

  “He can’t deal with this, Cal. He’s made that perfectly clear from the beginning. He can’t think about it. He can’t talk about it. Your father loves Kiernan. He loves both of you. Very much. He’s just—”

  “Weak.” The man was a spineless coward.

  Mom sighed. “Yes. He’s weak. He’s a kind, gentle man, but he’s fragile. He’s only trying to protect himself the only way he knows how.”

  “And what about us? Isn’t it his job to protect us?”

  “You’re right.” Her lips pressed into a thin line and she nodded. “It is his job. And mine. I’m sorry, Cal. I’m sorry I didn’t make a better choice for you both. I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder to—”

  “No. Mom. This is not your fault.” And I’d be damned if I’d let her shoulder his guilt along with what she already carried. “Nothing Dad did is your fault. He’s a grown man. He makes his own decisions. Kiernan and I . . . We don’t need him. We are so lucky just to have you. You’re more than enough for us. Just you.”

  “Oh, Cal.” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she squeezed my hand between two of hers. “I don’t say this nearly enough, but I am so, so proud of you. Of the man that you’ve become. You are so much stronger than your father. I’m sorry that you’ve had to be.”

  “Don’t be. I want to make you proud.”

  We lapsed into silence after that. Hands still entangled between us, we sat side-by-side. And we waited. For the inevitable. And yet, when it came, it still took us both by surprise.

  It started with the high-pitched peal of feedback through the speakers in the ceiling, followed by a voice announcing some kind of medical code. The sudden flow of bodies, wearing scrubs and lab coats, down the hall toward Kiernan’s room stopped my heart. Maybe if I froze it right then, right that moment, it would never have to feel the moments that came after.

  But it started up again and kicked into overdrive when I heard Jade screaming.

  “No! No, Kiernan!” A large man in white scrubs was manhandling her out of the room, while she fought tooth and nail to break free. His muscles bulged and strained as he dragged her out into the hall and her small body raged and flailed hopelessly in his sturdy grasp.

  “Get off her!” I’d body check the son of a bitch if he didn’t let her go.

  “She can’t—”

  “Get your hands off of her! Now!”

  I don’t know what he saw in my face, but it was enough to get him to release Jade and take a step back. Still hysterical, she was completely oblivious to my presence. I wrapped her up in my arms before she could get herself into trouble and held her tight.

  “Shh, Angel. Hush. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

  I held her and I held onto her. Both of us holding the other up. I rocked her. And I whispered quiet words to her. And I tried not to think about why. Why she was screaming and sobbing. Why Mom stood beside us, both hands covering her open mouth. Why my legs felt like they were losing a battle with gravity. Why any of this was happening to us.

  When some of the shock started to wear off, Jade gently extracted herself from my arms. I watched her wander past my mother as they both stared, captivated by the flurry of activity behind Kiernan’s door. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to see what they were doing to him. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to know any of this. I didn’t want to know this fear. This pain. This empty hollow ache forming deep inside my chest that I knew would never again feel whole.

  But I did know. I knew exactly what was happening. Exactly how it felt. And I knew exactly when it was over. Mom’s soul deep, anguished cry didn’t signal the end of my pain, though. It only intensified it.

  Her legs gave out and I was there, like I was always there. Giving her my strength when she needed it most. But there wasn’t enough left to support us both. We went down, hard. Collapsing onto tile floor with Mom in my arms. Leaving Jade alone, with no one to lean on but herself.

  There’s one memory in everyone’s life that stands out above the rest. One moment in time that’s forever engrained in their hearts and minds. The sights, the sounds, the smells—all of it able to be recalled in flawless detail with a single thought. For some people it’s prom night in the backseat of their parent’s minivan with the homecoming queen. For other’s it’s scoring the winning goal. Holding their baby for the first time. The moment they looked into the eyes of the woman they loved and heard her say, ‘I do.’

  For me, that moment would forever be the look in Jade’s eyes as she turned from us and walked away. The blank, glassy shield that couldn’t quite hide the roiling turmoil underneath. I couldn’t breathe, but somehow I found the air I needed to call her name.

  I knelt in that hallway, holding one person that meant the world to me, watching the other walk away. Silently pleading with her to turn around. To come back and let me hold her, too. For her to hold me. I didn’t know if that was what she wanted, but without a doubt, she was what I needed.

  She didn’t turn around. She didn’t come back. She walked to the elevators at the end of the hall and boarded without so much as a glance in my direction.

  As those shiny steel doors slid shut between us, I knew I’d lost more than my brother that day.

  And it cracked my heart wide open.

  ***

  I have only vague memories of taking Mom home after that. I probably shouldn’t have been driving, but she couldn’t and I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to work out another way out of there. And that was all I wanted. To get the hell out of there.

  There are glimpses of her taking some pills and putting her to bed. The slightest recollection of standing in the hallway outside her door until I was certain she’d fallen asleep. I don’t remember walking to my room, at all. I don’t remember crawling into bed. All I remember are the vivid dreams of drowning.

  I was drowning.

  Mom was drowning.

  Jade was drowning.

  The whole damn world was drowning.

  Maybe that was because, in sleep, the last of my restraint shattered, and I cried enough tears to flood it.

  ~Not The End~

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  A great big, giant THANK YOU to the amazing people without whom this book would not be what it is.

  To the amazing, wonderful, beautiful people I have the pleasure of calling not only beta readers but friends: Cindy, Sherry, and Kendall.

  To Kelsey of K Keeton Designs who took an amateur photo and turned it into a work of art. You are a magician, my friend. And she also happens to be an extremely talented photographer/ cover artist.

  To the amazing fans who asked every day when this book would be released. It’s your support and enthusiasm that keeps me doing what I’m doing. Every single email/message/comment I receive from you fuels my passion and puts a huge grin on my face.

  And last, but definitely not least, to the hubs, AKA my divine hand model for the cover image. You are my Angel. You sexy beast, you.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Jamie Canosa is a full time author of YA/NA literature, which she absolutely loves. When she’s not writing or spending time with her family, she can usually be found with her nose in a book. She currently resides in Upstate NY with her husband, and their three crazy kids . . . plus the cat, the bird, and the rabbit.

  Learn more about Jamie at:

  JamieCanosa.wix.com/author

  https://www.facebook.com/AuthorJamieCanosa

  Jade’s story continues next in:

  Pieces

  OF MY HEART

  ~Coming 2014~

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  Canosa, Jamie, Angel (Pieces #1.5)