Spiritus, a Paranormal Romance (Spiritus Series, Book #1)

by Dana Michelle Burnett

  “Maybe.” I said without any sound of real commitment. “Can I be excused?”

  And now I was back in my bedroom, alone and unobserved. I stood in the center of the floor, facing the windows. I didn’t call to him yet, but I stood there waiting.

  From behind, somewhere just over my left shoulder, I felt him watching me.

  I didn’t turn around, but my heart was pounding as I felt him gathering together behind me. I watched him in the reflection of the windows as he became solid.

  When he spoke to me, it was in the soft type of voice I imagined a lover would use during an intimate embrace.

  “I have been waiting for you, my love.” He whispered.

  I turned around to face him. He stood only a few feet from me wearing a pale shirt open at the collar, his handsome face perfection in the moonlight. He was so very solid I could see the light and shadows moving over his face as he stepped even closer.

  I watched him approach; we were only inches away from each other. His brilliant blue eyes focused on mine, true and unwavering.

  Even though I knew better, I reached my hand toward him. My fingers were so close to touching his that I could feel the wintry heat radiating from him. I held my breath, reaching closer and closer.

  Just as my fingers reached his, the vision of him twisted and turned into itself, disappearing in an ice cold blast of air that made me stagger backwards. Despite all of that, I felt him. I touched his cold hand for the briefest moment.

  My room was empty again, only my curtains were still fluttering to a stop. I turned in a slow circle again, knowing I wouldn’t see him, but searching anyway.

  “You’re still here, aren’t you?” I whispered up into the emptiness.

  “Of course.”

  I smiled at the sound of his voice. “I broke the rules, didn’t I?”

  “Pardon?”

  “I wasn’t supposed to touch you,” I said. “It broke the illusion.”

  He said nothing, but he was closer now. There was no sound to his breathing, but there was a pulsating in the air that came with his presence.

  I stared back up into the empty air, “Are you still here?”

  “Yes, my love.” He answered in an outdated cadence.

  “Why do you say it like that?” I asked.

  “Because you are my love, and my life, and my fate.”

  “And what is my fate?” I asked.

  Alastor laughed. It was a gentle rumbling like distant thunder. “My darling, your fate was sealed long ago.”

  “Because I shot you?” I asked.

  Nothing.

  I turned in a circle again, narrowing my eyes as I searched for some trace of him.

  “Alastor, why are you here?” I asked, knowing the answer would be the same as every other night. “Tell me the truth.”

  “I would never lie to you.” He whispered as he closed in to surround me again. “I am here because of you.”

  I was strangely anxious as I walked to the cafeteria with Ally, and it had nothing to do with her fidgety constant chatter.

  Maybe it was because for the first time in weeks Alastor wasn’t hanging over my shoulder. He was still with me, but slightly more distant than usual.

  I almost felt normal.

  Billie noticed the change in me immediately as soon as I sat down at the table.

  “What’s wrong with you?” She asked.

  I tried to brush her off, “Nothing, why?”

  Billie narrowed her eyes, “I don’t know. You just seem different.”

  Luckily Ally didn’t care if I seemed different than my usual self or not. She launched right back into her tirade about her favorite reality show and a particular contestant that got booted off.

  Since Alastor came into my life, there was little time for television so I was clueless about the latest travesty to primetime justice. I just nodded and smiled anytime she paused to take a breath and let Billie handle the bulk of the conversation since she seemed to at least know what was going on.

  I was just about to excuse myself when I saw Jonah heading my way. I pushed my hair back from my face and tried to get some sense of where Alastor was, hoping he would keep his distance for the next few minutes.

  Alastor might be my husband from a former life, but this was flesh and blood Jonah. My chest was heavy with guilt as Jonah stepped up to the table and gave me his most sparkling smile.

  “Hey girls.” He said to all of us before turning his charm on me alone. “Did you finish that essay on General Sherman?”

  I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks, hating I was blushing as if he had just complimented me when all he did was merely acknowledge my existence.

  “I’m almost finished.” I answered. “I was going to try to get to class a little early so that I could finish it up.”

  “Me too.” He said with another dazzling smile.

  “I guess I’ll see you there.”

  Something magical happened then—Jonah smiled directly at me with his eyes focused intensely on my face.

  “I can’t wait.” He said.

  I don’t remember watching him leave. I don’t remember leaving the table myself. One minute I was in the cafeteria, the next I was floating down the hall to History.

  Somehow along the way, I took a wrong turn and when I snapped out of my daze, I was outside standing under the shade of the birch trees near the gym.

  “What did the boy want?” Alastor’s voice demanded from behind.

  I jumped and spun around as a reflex, not expecting to see him, but there he was.

  Alastor stood in the twisting shadows of the tree. I had never seen him so solid. I could see the lines in his lips and my own image was reflected in his stunning blue eyes.

  He lowered his voice to a gentle purr, “Would you betray me so quickly? Does my love mean nothing to you?”

  I couldn’t answer him; the movement of his hair in the early autumn breeze had me mesmerized. There was something so terrifying about it. How could he appear so real?

  Alastor seemed amused by my reaction. To show how powerful he was, he reached his hand out and caressed my cheek.

  “Do you not love me?” He asked.

  His fingertips were cold against my cheek, solid and real, but ice cold, like no human touch. I shivered under his hand, but there was something else, a strange, vibrating, electrical sensation that ran through my body and settled somewhere in the pit of my stomach.

  The world spun and faded away, taking me to a long ago place where we once stood just like this. I looked up into his face, alive and real, coming closer to give me my first kiss as his wife.

  “I will love you until the end of time.” He had whispered and touched my face in exactly the same way.

  The memory faded, swirling away like a puff of smoke, and I was back to the here and now. I was left with a deep ache in my heart, pulling at me, reminding me of my vows.

  Forsaking all others…

  He was touching me and he wasn’t disappearing. I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw myself into his arms. I wanted to slap at him.

  “Why did you ever come back?” I choked.

  Alastor’s own eyes were shinning with unshed tears; his lips trembled as he caressed my face. "Oh my Becca, I have waited so long for this moment. I would have traded my soul to hell just to touch you again and now I am selfish enough to still want more.”

  I closed my eyes. I was trembling under his fingers, but savoring the feeling of his icy touch. It was real, it was solid. I wanted to reach out to him, to touch him in some way, but I knew that he would just disappear.

  I forced myself to take one faltering step back, “Alastor, I can’t keep doing this. It’s driving me crazy.”

  Walking away, I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks. I glanced back when I reached the door to the school, expecting to see that he had vanished, but there he was staring back at me.

  I wanted to go back to him, but instead I brushed my tears away. I opened the door and went back inside the
school. Ally and Billie were there waiting with their arms crossed.

  “Someone’s been keeping a secret.” Billie declared with a smirk.

  “What do you mean?” I stammered, trying to blink away the remaining tears.

  Ally playfully shoved my shoulder, “Come on, out with it. Who was that guy?”

  “What guy?”

  Billie rolled her eyes and jerked her chin toward the door. “That guy you were just talking to outside.”

  The world lurched sickeningly to the left as I realized what she meant.

  “You saw him?” I asked.

  Ally and Billie exchanged confused glances.

  “It’s not like you two were hiding or anything.” Ally accused, “So who is he?”

  My mouth fell open in disbelief. They could see him. He had been strong enough even they could see him. How was that possible? I glanced back at the trees again, but he was gone.

  “He’s an old friend.” I lied.

  Billie raised an eyebrow, “He looked like more than just that. The two of you looked pretty serious.”

  Just then I spotted Jonah standing not too far away. It was obvious he heard our entire conversation. He turned and walked away.

  I wanted to run after him, but my feet were frozen. I tried to take a step forward, but Alastor’s secret voice echoed inside my head.

  “You swore…Forsaking all others…” He threatened.

  I pushed past my friends and followed Jonah down the hall to our class. He didn’t even look up as I walked past him to my seat. I sat down and looked at his back, something about the tension in his squared shoulders made my palms sweat.

  “Jonah?”

  “I’m trying to read.” Jonah said flatly. “We’ll talk later.”

  “Are you angry?”

  “What would I have to be angry about?” He asked.

  I bit my lip. It was ridiculous to think he overheard the girls talking about Alastor and was jealous, but what other explanation was there?

  “I’ll leave you alone and let you read.” I whispered.

  “Thanks.”

  Jonah was silent throughout class, never turning even once to look at me. It seemed impossible that he was jealous, but an even darker thought began to surface. Did Alastor mean for Jonah to somehow find out about us? Is that why he chose that moment to show himself so clearly?

  The thought wouldn’t go away. All through class I kept asking myself over and over. At the sound of the bell, I ran to the nearest bathroom.

  I bent down and checked under each of the stall doors before looking up at the ceiling. I could feel him near me. I strained my eyes to look for ever the slightest disturbance in the air.

  “How did you do it?” I demanded. “Why did you do it?”

  Nothing.

  “If you could make yourself that real, why did you wait so long?”

  Invisible hands ran up my back and mussed my hair. His seductive laugh echoed against the tiled walls.

  “Is that what you’re mad about?” He teased. “That I waited so long to show you?”

  “Yes,” I said. All of a sudden, it didn’t matter why he did it, it was only important that he did become that vivid for me.

  “Why is that?”

  “Because,” I sighed. “For just that one moment, you really seemed like you were mine.”

  “I am yours.” He whispered. “Now and forever.”

  Chapter 10

  Somehow I made it through the frustrating weeks with Alastor constantly chatting away in my head. I wasn’t really aware of time passing. I awoke one morning to the autumn colored leaves out my window and realized that it was the first Monday in October.

  Ally began my day off by reminding me about the fall dance in just a few weeks.

  “Has anyone asked you yet?” She asked as soon as I took my seat in English.

  “Hardly.” I said with a sarcastic laugh.

  “Are you sure?” She asked with a knowing smirk. “What about your mystery man?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” I snapped as Alastor laughed in the secret voice only I could hear.

  Ally shrugged, “Whatever, keep him a secret, but you two looked pretty hot and heavy.”

  “Trust me, we’re not.”

  “Then who is he?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” I snapped.

  She said nothing else and class began. I didn’t have time to worry about what she must be thinking or if I was going to be shunned for my secrecy. Mrs. Temple was handing out a pop quiz on the John Steinbeck novel I had yet to open. Perfect, one more failed test to add to the collection that started when Alastor showed up.

  This is all your fault, you know.

  Alastor only laughed and hovered above my head. I wished that I could somehow just reach up and jab him with my pencil.

  I was grateful when the bell rang and I could turn in my nearly blank test. Breathing a sigh of relief, I stepped out into the hall and let the crowd swallow me up while I jogged to catch up with Ally.

  Alastor was unusually quiet as I followed Ally to the cafeteria. I sensed the tension in him as he swirled around me even though he was silent. I was keenly aware of him and his mood, but waited for him to tell me what was bothering him.

  “Will you be going to the dance?” He finally whispered inside my head.

  I don’t know.

  “I wish that I could be your escort.” He confessed, brushing my neck with his ghostly hand.

  There was a sad, resigned note to his voice that tugged at my heart.

  I wish you could too.

  Alastor became more agitated as he gathered around me, stirring the air to the point even Billie and Ally felt the breeze. I took my seat at the table, pretending I noticed nothing. They looked from side to side to try to locate where the errant breeze was stemming.

  Alastor, what is wrong with you?

  “I do believe that someone else is planning to ask you.” He hissed as he settled around me.

  Glancing around the cafeteria, my eyes settled on Jonah who had just walked in and stood there surrounded by friends. He hadn’t spoken to me for weeks, not since the day Alastor appeared under the birch trees.

  Him?

  The rebellious draft kicked up again as Alastor expressed his frustration. People looked around again as papers blew about. A few teachers even left their table in the corner and walked over to the windows, checking to make sure that each one was shut and latched.

  I hesitated, despising the wave of contrition that passed through me. Why was it bad to want the most normal things, like to go to a dance? Why did I have to be so torn?

  “What will you say to him?” Alastor demanded.

  I didn’t answer him. I sipped my soda and half-heartedly listened to them talk about the dance. Every word they uttered wore me down a little more and made me question everything.

  Was it wrong for me to want the same things as other girls? I made no vow to Alastor in this life. Why was I denying myself? Because, I reasoned with myself, deep down I knew that it was only Alastor I wanted. It would always be Alastor.

  “That boy does not honor you like I do.” Alastor reminded me as I left the cafeteria to go to History.

  How would you know?

  Alastor lowered his voice to a faint whisper inside the walls of my mind.

  “It will not end well.” He said.

  Go away Alastor.

  “Very well.”

  No one was in the classroom when I took my seat. I opened my textbook and told myself I was reviewing the chapter we were covering, but I was actually watching the door with anticipation.

  When Jonah did enter the room, he met my eyes before I could look away and fake interest in my book. I expected him to look away and ignore me as usual, but instead he stared at me with a strange mix of frustration and amusement written on his face.

  I forced myself to look away. I dropped my eyes to my books even though I was no longer interested in the words.

  Just think
ing about Jonah sent a rush of emotion through me. I was giddy, but at the same time hesitant, almost as if I felt guilty or something close to it.

  What was I doing? He hadn’t spoken to me in weeks. What made me think today would be different?