Girl Wonder and the Terrific Twins

by Malorie Blackman

  Contents

  Cover

  About the Book

  Title Page

  Dedication

  The Mission to Rescue the Football

  Staying Cool at the Swimming Pool

  Rescuing the Rescuers

  Captain, the Teddy-Bear Dog

  Get a Pet – Plan Two

  As Tall as Tall

  Saving Energy

  Beware the Park Bench

  We Hate Shopping!

  About the Author

  Also by Malorie Blackman

  Copyright

  About the Book

  When Maxine has a plan, you can be sure it involves her twin brothers Anthony and Edward. You can also be sure it involves BIG TROUBLE!

  Nine fantastically funny short stories, perfect for building confidence in new readers, whether reading aloud or reading alone.

  For Neil and Lizzy, with love as always.

  The Mission to Rescue the Football

  “Mum, can we play Catch in the garden?” I asked.

  “Please, please,” said my brother Anthony.

  “Please, please,” said my other brother Edward.

  Mum’s head appeared from beneath the bonnet of her car. She wiped her oily hands on her overalls.

  “All right then,” Mum said. “But mind the fence by the tree, it’s a bit loose. And for goodness’ sake, keep the ball away from Miss Ree’s flowers.”

  Miss Ree is our moany, old next-door neighbour. She has flowers growing all around her smooth-as-paper lawn. She moans if we even breathe near her flowers. We call her Misery. Miss Ree . . . Misery – get it?

  The twins and I ran through the house, grabbed the ball and ran out into the back garden.

  It was hot, hot, hot, with not a single cloud in the blue sky. We played Piggy-in-the-Middle and Catch for a while.

  “I’m hot,” sighed Anthony.

  “I’m tired,” complained Edward.

  “Let’s play football instead,” I suggested. “We’ll each be a team and you only score a goal if you hit the trunk of the apple tree.”

  “Yeah! Football!” said Anthony, clapping his hands.

  “Yippee! Football,” said Edward, jumping up and down.

  We all like football.

  I scored the first two goals, then Edward tripped me up and Anthony got the ball.

  “Cheats! Cheats!” I shouted, chasing after them.

  Anthony kicked the ball as hard as he could.

  “Yah! You missed,” I shouted.

  Anthony didn’t miss the tree trunk by centimetres. He missed it by kilometres. The ball sailed over the fence into Miss Ree’s garden and landed with a SPLOP! right in her flowerbed.

  Anthony, Edward and I ran to the fence and looked over.

  Oh dear!

  If we asked for our ball back, Miss Ree would complain to Mum and then we’d get told off.

  So I said, “This is a job for Girl Wonder and . . .”

  “The Terrific Twins – hooray!” the twins shouted.

  We all spun around until we were getting giddy.

  “OK, Terrific Twins. I’ve got a plan,” I said. “We’ll climb over the fence and I’ll get the ball whilst you two watch for Misery. Make sure you warn me if she’s coming.”

  “OK, Girl Wonder,” said Anthony.

  So we all started to clamber over the fence.

  CRR . . . RR . . . EAK!

  CRR . . . RR . . . UNCH!

  The whole fence fell flat – right on to Miss Ree’s flowerbed. And with us on top of it! We were sprawled out and wondering what had happened. Miss Ree’s kitchen door burst open. Then our kitchen door was flung open.

  “My roses! My lupins! My begonias!” Miss Ree wailed.

  “My goodness!” Mum said, running out of the kitchen.

  “Just look what they’ve done to my flowers,” Miss Ree said to Mum. Mum put her hands on her hips. Her face was like dark grey clouds just before thunder and lightning.

  “Maxine, Anthony, Edward, what have you been doing now?” Mum said.

  “We just wanted to get our ball, Mum,” I said as we all stood up.

  “I’m sorry about your flowers, Miss Ree,” Mum said. “Don’t worry. I’ll fix the fence and we’ll replace all the flowers.”

  Then Mum called us into the house.

  She told us off in the kitchen. She told us off in the car as we drove to the garden centre. She told us off as we picked out new flowers and rose bushes. She told us off as she fixed the fence. She told us off as we all pulled the scrushed, crushed flowers out of the ground and planted the new ones.

  Whilst Mum was resting her mouth for a second, I whispered to Anthony, “There’s our ball. Run and get it and throw it back into our garden.”

  Before Mum could say anything, Anthony did just that.

  Once we had replanted Miss Ree’s new flowers and rose bushes, Mum called us into the house again.

  “Can we take our ball and go to the park?” I asked.

  “No you cannot. You three can stay in for the rest of the day and stay out of trouble,” Mum said.

  So after we’d washed our hands and faces and changed our clothes, the twins and I sat on the carpet in the living room playing Super Mario.

  “Your plan was stupid,” Anthony grumbled.

  “Yeah! Silly-stupid,” said Edward.

  “But it worked, didn’t it?” I said. “We did get our ball back!”

  Staying Cool at the Swimming Pool

  It was bright, burning hot.

  So hot the branches on our apple tree drooped.

  So hot Miss Ree’s flowers hung their heads.

  So hot I was sure I was going to melt at any second.

  “What shall we do today?” I muttered.

  “It’s too hot to do anything,” Anthony murmured.

  “Yeah! Too hot!” Edward mumbled.

  Mum fanned herself with the newspaper. “We all need to do something to cool down. I know! Let’s go swimming at the open air pool.”

  “Swimming! Yeah!” I said.

  “Swimming! Hooray!” Anthony shouted.

  “Swimming! Yippee!” Edward clapped his hands.

  So we got our swimming costumes and some towels and Mum drove us to the swimming pool. When we’d all changed into our swimming costumes, Mum led us down to the pool.

  “I want all three of you to stay near me,” Mum said. “And you’re not to go anywhere near the deep end.”

  We reached the pool. It was jam-packed solid full of people. And all around the edge of the pool were mums and dads.

  “Oh dear! I should have realized it would be this crowded. Everyone’s had the same idea as us,” Mum sighed.

  We got into the pool at the shallow end. We couldn’t even walk from one side of the pool to the other without bumping into someone, let alone swim. But at least we were wet and cool.

  “It’s so hot . . .”

  “I wish I was in there. I’m so uncomfortable . . .”

  I looked up at the man and woman who had just spoken. The woman wiped the perspiration off her forehead whilst the man used his hand to fan himself. Everyone around the pool seemed really uncomfortable. They were all looking longingly at the water.

  “Look at those people,” I whispered to Anthony and Edward. “We should do something to cool them down.”

  “What?” Anthony asked.

  “Yeah! What?” Edward repeated.

  So I said, “I think this is a job for Girl Wonder and . . .”

  “The Terrific Twins!” Anthony and Edward splashed up and down in the water. Then we spun around as fast as we could in the water – which wasn’t fast at all so we soon gave up on that.

  �
��OK, Terrific Twins, I have a plan,” I said. “We’re going to help cool down all those people around the pool who are watching.”

  “Why?” Anthony asked.

  “Yeah! Why?” Edward repeated.

  “Because we’re superheroes. We must help people,” I said.

  “How?” Anthony asked.

  “Yeah! How?” said Edward.

  “How about if we jog past all those hot, sticky, sweaty people, splattering them with drops of cold water? That would cool them down,” I suggested.

  “Good idea,” said Anthony.

  “Yeah! Good idea!” said Edward.

  “Where are you lot going?” Mum asked us as we got out of the pool.

  “Just for a walk, Mum,” I said.

  “Well, be careful and stay away from the deep end,” Mum replied.

  We walked to the opposite corner of the pool.

  “Ready, Terrific Twins?” I asked.

  “Ready!”

  The three of us formed a line and jogged along, shaking our hands and heads as we went and splattering the grown-ups with water. I must admit, they didn’t look too pleased.

  Then Anthony bumped into a woman who was noodle thin. Her arms spun around as she tried to keep her balance. She grabbed the man wearing glasses next to her who grabbed the bald man next to him. The thin woman yelled as she plunged into the pool followed by the man with glasses, then the bald man. As the bald man was falling he grabbed the arm of the woman next to him. Everyone was grabbing everyone else to stop themselves from falling into the pool – but it didn’t help. The whole line of men and women tumbled into the water.

  SPLOSH! SPLASH!

  “Oh dear!” I muttered.

  Mum came running up to us.

  “Maxine, Anthony, Edward, what have you three rascals been doing now?” Mum asked. “And you should have more sense than to run around a swimming pool. It’s dangerous. You might have slipped.”

  I looked across at all those men and women, coughing and spluttering and wringing out their skirts and jackets and dresses. They were all glaring at us. It looked like we were the only ones who hadn’t slipped.

  “What were you three doing?” Mum asked, her hands on her hips. But we didn’t get the chance to explain. We got chucked out of the swimming pool. Mum was so embarrassed.

  All the way home she kept saying, “I’ll never live this down . . . I’ll never live this down.”

  “Your plan was feeble,” Anthony mumbled in the back seat next to me.

  “Yeah! Foolish-feeble,” Edward grumbled.

  “But it worked, didn’t it?” I said. “We did cool down all those people.”

  Rescuing the Rescuers

  “I want a dog,” I said.

  “I want a cat,” said Anthony.

  “I want a rabbit,” said Edward.

  Mum put her hands on her hips. “I’m not getting three different pets. In fact I’m not sure if I should even get one.”

  “But . . .” I said.

  “But . . .” said Anthony.

  “But . . .” Edward repeated.

  “No buts!” Mum argued. “I don’t think you three realize how much work is involved in owning a pet.”

  “We do!” I said.

  “We do!” said Anthony.

  “We do!” said Edward.

  Then Mum got a funny look in her eyes. The same look she gets when she has one of her ideas and she thinks it’s a good one.

  I wonder why her ideas always seem to get me and the twins into trouble?

  “Stay there, you three. I’ll be right back,” Mum said, and off she dashed.

  My brothers and I looked at each other and shrugged. Before we got bored just standing and waiting, Mum came back with a large box in her hands.

  “What’s in the box?” we asked.

  Mum put the box down on the carpet. We peered into it.

  “A cat!” I said, surprised.

  “It’s Mr McBain’s cat. Her name is Syrup because she’s the exact same colour as golden syrup.”

  Mr McBain is our other next-door neighbour. He’s a tall, elderly man with hair that only grows on the sides of his head. The top of his head is shiny and smooth like an egg.

  “How come we’ve got her?” Anthony asked.

  “Yeah! How come?” asked Edward.

  “If you three can look after Syrup for this weekend without getting into trouble then we’ll talk seriously about which pet to get – but only then,” Mum said.

  “What do we do first?” I asked.

  Anthony, Edward and I knelt down around the box.

  “First, take Syrup out of the box. Then take her litter tray out of the box and put it in the conservatory near the washing machine. Then you can feed her. Mr McBain also gave me two tins of cat food. They’re in my trouser pockets. After that you can play with her,” Mum said.

  So I picked Syrup out of the box and held her against my chest and stroked her. She was warm and her fur was soft. Her breath tickled my face. I liked her.

  “Maybe we should have a cat and not a dog,” I thought.

  Anthony took out Syrup’s litter tray and put it in the conservatory. Edward got the two tins of cat food out of Mum’s tracksuit trouser pockets.

  “Later on we’ll all have to pop to the shop at the top of the road and get some more cat food,” said Mum.

  Mum opened one of the tins and put the food in Syrup’s bowl which was also in the box. We all crouched down around Syrup as she ate.

  “I want a cat, Mum,” I said.

  “So do I,” Anthony said.

  “Yeah! Me too!” said Edward.

  “We’ll see,” was all Mum said.

  After Syrup had eaten her lunch we took her outside whilst Mum went to watch the telly. I was still holding her.

  “Syrup, this is our garden,” I said.

  “Miaow!” Syrup replied, having a look around.

  Then, before any of us had a chance to blink, Syrup struggled out of my arms, scurried across our garden and scooted up our apple tree.

  “What do we do now?” Anthony asked.

  “Yeah! What?” asked Edward.

  “We can’t call Mum,” I said. “She’ll say we can’t look after a pet for one minute without getting into trouble.”

  “So what are we going to do?” asked Anthony.

  “Yeah! What?” Edward repeated.

  So I said, “This is a job for Girl Wonder and . . .”

  “The Terrific Twins!” Anthony and Edward grinned.

  Then we all spun around until we were dizzy.

  “All right, Terrific Twins, I have a plan,” I said. “We’ll climb up the tree and get Syrup down.”

  And that’s what we did. Slowly and carefully. We each climbed up the tree. (I helped the twins get on to the first branch as they couldn’t quite reach it.) Up and up we went. Up and up. And above us I could see Syrup staring down at us.

  Just as we got close to her, guess what she did?

  She yawned. She stretched her back. Then she scooted down the tree.

  “Huh! Why didn’t she do that before we came up here?” I said.

  We all looked down. The ground looked far, far away.

  “What are you kids up to?” Mr McBain called out from his garden.

  “What do you children think you’re doing?” shouted Miss Ree from her garden.

  “Get down at once before you hurt yourselves.”

  I looked at Anthony and Edward and they looked at me. Then we all burst into tears.

  “We can’t get down,” I sobbed. “The ground is far, far away.”

  Then Mum came running out into the garden.

  “Maxine, Anthony, Edward, what have you been doing now?” she said, her hands on her hips.

  “We were trying to rescue the cat,” I sniffed.

  “Maxine, cats climb up trees all the time. Unlike you lot, they have no trouble climbing down either. You should have left Syrup up there,” Mr McBain said.

  “Mum, I want to come down,
” wailed Anthony.

  “Yeah! Me too!” Edward joined in.

  “I’m going to have to call the Fire Brigade,” Mum said.

  Within minutes we heard the sound of the fire engine siren – WOO WOO WOO WOO! Mum ran into the house to let them in. Seconds later she came out into the garden followed by three firefighters, one woman and two men. They all stood below our apple tree. We peered down at them. We’d never seen firefighters up close before. The firemen placed two ladders against the trunk of the tree.

  “It’s all right. We’ll soon have you down,” said the firewoman.

  “Don’t worry,” said one of the firemen. “You’ll soon be on the ground.”

  They carried Anthony and Edward down first. I looked around. I could see across all the neighbours’ gardens. Everyone was watching us.

  “All right, Maxine, take my hands,” said the firewoman, lifting me round on to her back. “I’m going to give you a piggyback ride. In Scotland we call it a collybucky.”

  “A collybucky! That’s a funny name.” I laughed.

  “No funnier than piggyback,” said the firewoman. “Here we are down on the ground.”

  I looked around, surprised. I hadn’t even noticed us coming down.

  “Say thank you to the firepeople,” Mum said.

  “Thank you very much,” we said.

  “Right, you three – go into the house. I’ve got a few things to say to you,” Mum said sternly. “And Syrup is going straight back to Mr McBain.”

  We went into the kitchen and looked through the window. Mum was talking to the firepeople.

  “Mum’s going to spend for ever telling us off now,” Anthony said to me, annoyed.

  “Yeah! For ever!” Edward agreed.

  “Your plan was stinky,” Anthony grumbled.

  “Yeah! Seriously stinky,” Edward mumbled.

  “But it worked, didn’t it?” I said. “We did get Syrup out of the tree.”

  Captain, the Teddy-Bear Dog

  The next day we decided to try again. WE WANTED A PET!

  “Mum . . .” Anthony said carefully. “We’re sorry about what happened yesterday.”

  “Yeah, we’re really sorry,” Edward said.