Amanda's Blue Marine

by Doreen Owens Malek

  Mandy started to laugh. “I have never behaved like this in my life,” she said. “I used to be so demure and ladylike. This is all your fault. You have turned me into a ravening beast.”

  “That’s what I like to hear,” he announced, looking toward the dining room and eyeing the bags on the table. “Think you ordered enough food there, Butch? Who’s joining us for dinner? The Philadelphia Eagles?”

  “I didn’t know what you would want so I just got everything. I know you must consume something besides Mama’s burgers.”

  He got up and then reached down to help her stand, pulling her into his arms as she rose. She slipped away from him to put on her robe and go into the bathroom, and when she returned he had donned his pants again.

  “I missed you so much today that I almost went to your temp office and made up an excuse to see you,” he said to her. “I don’t even know what I was going to say but I was on my way when I realized that I would be getting you into trouble if I just showed up and grabbed you.” He went over to investigate the contents of the takeout containers. “Chinese,” he said. Then, “What is this? Greek?”

  “Tabouleh. And there’s a pizza too and some lasagna. Do you want me to reheat it?”

  “Nah. Cold’s okay. All this is very… what’s that word? Means a selection of different things. Eccentric?”

  “Eclectic.”

  “Right.” He selected a slice of pizza. “Don’t you want anything?”

  “I’m very satisfied at the moment.

  “You’ve thought of everything, Red.”

  “I wanted you to be well nourished so you could meet my sexual commands. Demands. You know what I mean.”

  “How am I doing so far?” he asked, biting into the pizza. He sat in one of her dining room chairs. “With the demands.”

  “Fair,” she said, laughing when he looked at her. He watched her giggling, his expression softening, and then said out of the blue, "You know, you are the first thing I ever really wanted that I actually got.”

  Mandy met his gaze, startled by the revelation. It was atypical of him to be so frank and she was not sure what to say.

  "And it was worth the wait," he added , "because I wanted you the most." He took another bite of pizza and chewed industriously.

  "What did you want?" she asked. "That you didn't get, I mean."

  "Oh, when I was a kid I wanted a father who went to Little League games, showed up for dinner, decorated the Christmas tree. You know, things like that. But mine was a drunk and....." he shrugged. "Those things didn't happen." He laughed shortly.

  "What else?" she said softly, trying not to let the impact of his confession show in her face.

  He was silent a moment, remembering. "I wanted a football scholarship to go to college but I busted my knee during senior year. Nobody would take a chance on a kid who might not be able to run again. The scouts who'd been calling me all disappeared when I wound up in traction. Another dream down the drain." He took a last large bite and then put the pizza slice down.

  "And your leg was okay?"

  He stretched it out to show her. "Good as new. But by the time we knew that for certain the money had all dried up. Thousands of kids compete for those spots. Nobody was waiting for me."

  Mandy was silent, comparing her life to his. There had never been any doubt that she would have the money to go to school, to Europe, on a safari, to the moon. Her choices had never been limited by economic constraints.

  "So I beat out the responsible father and the free ride from football, huh?" she said, to lighten the mood. "I came out on top." She went to him and pulled him to his feet, putting her arms around his waist.

  "Yup." Then she saw that teasing look come into his eyes as he added, "Well, maybe you're behind Mary Ann Wellington asking me to the Sadie Hawkins Dance in sixth grade. She asked Alan Hartman instead."

  "She was an utter fool," Mandy declaimed.

  "I thought so. I got Hartman back for it though. When he was running for class president later that year I didn't vote for him. He lost the election."

  "Good for you," Mandy said firmly. "What's he doing today?"

  "He's in the federal pen."

  Mandy drew back to look at him in amazement, then burst out laughing. "Did you put him there?"

  "No, but I wish I had. He's was into tax fraud or something. All those years seem a long time ago, don’t they?”

  “School, you mean?”

  “Yeah.”

  Mandy shrugged. “I went to boarding school in a convent, my experience was very different from yours.”

  “Why did they send you there?”

  “To get the best education, and I did.”

  He shook his head. “That’s not why.”

  “No?”

  “No. They wanted to keep you away from the likes of me.”

  Mandy sat and opened a white container of rice from the Chinese order. “If that was their plan it failed miserably.”

  He nodded. “And that’s why your mother hates me.”

  “She doesn’t hate you.”

  “She thinks I’m a lunatic. She always looks at me like I’m about to whip out a machete.”

  “She can’t control you, that’s what makes her nervous.”

  “Could she control Henderson?”

  Mandy nodded. “Money, the business, political connections, campaign contributions. He was in my parents’ pocket. You’re a different story entirely.” She scooped up rice with a plastic fork.

  “I haven’t asked you about Henderson,” he said soberly.

  “No, you haven’t.”

  “I don’t want to know.” He fell silent.

  “That’s very sensible, Kelly,” Mandy said quietly. “I’m proud of you.”

  “Don’t be. Every time I see him I want to snap him in half.”

  Mandy sighed. “There’s no reason for you to be jealous. My relationship with him was nothing at all like ours.”

  “He touched you. That’s enough.”

  “Kelly…”

  He made a dismissive gesture. “Look, neither one of was a virgin when we met. I get that. You were engaged to Henderson and I’ve been down too many roads myself to count them. As far as I am concerned everyone I’ve known up to this point has been practice for the real thing, which is you.”

  “Fair enough. But this may be the time to bring up Janet Grady.”

  He turned to stare at her. “Janet Grady?”

  “Yes, indeed. You remember Janet, delicious brunette, detective extraordinaire, your confidante and companion, hanging on your arm at every event?”

  Kelly pulled a chair up next to her and took her hand.

  “Amanda dear, love of my life, toasty bedmate and legal genius,” he said, imitating her, “I have a news bulletin for you.”

  “And what is that?”

  “Janet Grady is gay.”

  “Gay?” Mandy repeated, dumbfounded.

  “Yes, ma’am. Her lover is a dispatcher in the 27th district and they live together in Fairmount.”

  He took in her amazed expression with amusement.

  “Well, how was I supposed to know that?” Mandy demanded after the information had registered. “I’m not psychic.” She shook her head. “I was so jealous of her I wanted to box her ears.”

  “Good thing you didn’t try, she would have killed you. She got a second degree black belt at my brother’s school.”

  Mandy was silent as he chuckled to himself.

  “So you were jealous, huh?” he said softly.

  “I was,” she admitted. Then, after a moment, “She wasn’t interested in you?”

  “Not at all. More’s the pity. She’s really cute. Smart too.” He was grinning.

  Mandy released his hand abruptly. “You are not going to get to me, Brendan. Besides, I thought you liked redheads.”

  “Redhead,” he said. “Just one.”

  Mandy closed the rice container. “You’re right, I bought too much food,” she said.

&nb
sp; “So I have a question,” he said, putting his arm around her shoulder.

  “Yes?”

  “Are we going steady?" he asked, only half joking, his expression guarded.

  Mandy chose her reply carefully. She knew he had a habit of treating serious subjects lightly to disguise their importance to him.

  "Absolutely," she answered, smiling back at him. "Does this mean I get your varsity jacket?"

  "Of course. I think I still have it at Mike's house somewhere. It's a nifty little number too. Has the outline of a Greek helmet on the back and the patch of a Greek warrior shield on the sleeve. Go Spartans." He made a fierce face and raised his clenched fist in a victory salute.

  "The jacket design sounds lovely," Mandy said, chuckling. She dug in a new container and extracted a breaded shrimp.

  "Yup. 'With your shield or on it,' that was our motto. Just like the old days. Very butch. And the shortest kid in the class, Howie Breen, used to dress up like a Spartan for every game. Little kilt and all. I could never understand how they got Howie to do that," he concluded wonderingly, remembering.

  "Not everyone can play football, Kel. Were you the quarterback?" After a lifetime of girls' schools and athletic avoidance her knowledge of football was sketchy, but she was aware that the quarterback was important.

  "Nah. Running back. One of those guys who just catches passes and sprints down the field like a jackrabbit." He pulled the tab off a soda can and took a long drink.

  So Karen was right, Mandy thought.

  "I wish I had known you then," she said wistfully, trying to picture the seventeen year old who had joined the Marines the day after he graduated from high school.

  "Oh, no. You wouldn't have liked me. I had braces. And a retainer. And acne. And a broken leg in a cast my senior year. And I shaved my head for sports." He was grinning wickedly.

  She threw a wrapped fortune cookie at him and he ducked.

  "Hey!" he said, catching it in mid-air expertly, feigning outrage.

  "You are such a liar," she said, laughing. "You were never anything less than totally sexy. You had long wavy hair and there was never a brace on any of your teeth. I've seen the pictures.”

  "Where?" he demanded. He picked up the pizza again and finished the slice.

  "There are old yearbook pictures online. Did you think I wouldn’t look for them? I take it you've never seen those shots."

  He shrugged and said, "Nope. I’m trying to forget high school and my sister Katie is the keeper of the family blackmail material. I'm not as hyped about remembering the past as she is." His tone was suddenly dark.

  "Because the past wasn't very happy?" Mandy probed.

  He didn't answer. He moved to sit next to her and asked, "So you think I'm sexy, do you?"

  "Completely. You know I do. You had me on day one with those aqua eyes."

  "Aren't there some other body parts you're quite fond of also?" He took her hand and placed it on his thigh.

  "Shameless," she said. "Tsk, tsk."

  He sighed. "I'm going to hell."

  "Most likely." She stroked him and he groaned and turned toward her, pulling her into his arms. He kissed her long and hard, leaving her breathless.

  "Will you ever tell me about your life before you met me?" she persisted when he released her. She closed her eyes as he loosened the belt of her robe.

  "Why? We're together now and that's all that matters." He dropped the robe on the floor and buried his face in her breasts.

  "Because I love you and I want to know everything about you." She held his head against her, sinking her fingers into his hair.

  "Everything is too much. I was a mean jock in those days, in high school. Nice girls like you avoided me." His voice was muffled by her flesh.

  "Nice girls like me wanted to jump you," she whispered.

  He glanced up at her. His mouth was wet and his face was flushing with excitement. "Really?" he murmured. "I never guessed."

  "You're lying again, Brendan," she said archly, trying to stay on topic while he did his best to distract her. And his best was very good.

  He stopped and said, "Let's not bring my mother into this."

  "Your mother!" She was laughing in spite of her resolve to resist his blandishments.

  "She always called me Brendan when she was nailing me for something. Kate does it now and I can see you’re starting. My mind is not on any of this at the moment. So unless you have something else to discuss, like the Yankees or the stock market or world peace, can we please concentrate on what we're doing here?" He moved his mouth lower and stuck his tongue in her navel.

  Mandy surrendered, sighing as he caressed her, wondering if she would ever really learn what made him tick.

  * * * * *

  Mandy awoke in the middle of the night and found herself alone in her bed. The quilt had fallen to the floor and her flowered sheets were pushed to the bottom of the mattress. Kelly was nowhere to be seen.

  She had one bad moment when she thought he might have left and then she realized that they were past the point where he would take off without talking to her. She searched for her robe and found it half under the bedspread. She yanked it on and walked across the thick carpeting to the hall, where she looked around to see if he had landed in the living room. The apartment was silent. She was turning to go back to the kitchen when she spotted him through the sliding glass doors out on the wooden balcony, sitting in her oversized Adirondack chair, smoking.

  She glanced at the clock. It was 2:10 AM.

  Mandy walked through the living room to the deck, opening the doors and joining him on the redwood platform.

  “What are you doing out here?” she asked, taking the hand he extended to her when he saw her. He pulled her into his lap.

  "Smoking,” he said, indicating his cigarette.

  “Aren’t you chilly?” she asked. The late summer night had turned very cool.

  “Not any more,” he said, bundling her into his arms.

  “Let me get the blanket,” she said.

  He released her and she went inside, returning with the heavy brocade quilt which usually formed the top layer on her bed. She climbed into the chair with him again and he draped the quilt around them.

  “That’s great,” he said, sighing. “You’re like a little space heater.”

  “Yes, this is much better than going back inside where it’s actually warm,” Mandy said dryly.

  “I thought you wouldn’t want me to smoke inside,” he said.

  “I don’t want you to smoke anywhere,” she replied crisply.

  “Why? Do you want me to live forever?” he asked lightly.

  “Yes.”

  “I am working on it. My idea was to get one of those smokender kits and start there.”

  “What about a support group?”

  “I’m not much on group groping,” he said bluntly. “I’d rather do it alone. But then again, my ideas usually don’t work out very well. My plan for our first time together seemed great in my mind. Once the Cameron thing was over I was going to take you out for a nice dinner, bring you flowers, tell you how I felt and hope you would listen to me. Very romantic. And what did you actually get for our first time? The Kelly Arms with its hospital charm, Dr. Karen the cop critic and me with the flu, shaking like a chihuahua.”

  “I loved it,” she said.

  He held her off to look down into her face. “You loved it?” he asked, half laughing.

  “Yes. I knew where you were and I didn’t have to worry about you getting shot or taken hostage or cracking up a squad car during a chase. Every day while you’re working I think about what could be happening to you and I just have to put my mind somewhere else because if I didn’t I would go crazy. I know you were sick when we were at your apartment, but once Karen said it was just the flu I knew you would get better and I could enjoy having you with me. All the time. In the same place, in the same bed. I could see you and hear you and touch you and not care what the bad guys were doing. Yes, I love
d it.”

  He said nothing for a long pause as he drew her down into his lap. She lay her head on his shoulder as he lifted her hair off her nape and kissed the back of her neck tenderly.

  “You really do love me,” he murmured, as if the idea were still incredible to him.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t think about what you must be feeling about the job. I’ve always been alone in it and it’s such a change to consider somebody else.”

  “I know. And I also know you like doing it and you’re very good at it. But I would be lying if I said the risks in it didn’t haunt me.”

  “On a daily basis it’s not a big deal, actually. Most of the cases are routine and even boring. Chasing down Cameron was the chanciest thing I’ve done in a long time. And under normal circumstances I would have had backup and that would have been a lot less tricky.”

  “Tricky?”

  “Well, dangerous.”

  “You made it more dangerous because you did it alone, Kelly. Look, let’s not talk about it, okay? I don’t like to remember it. The only thing I want to remember about that whole episode is that it brought us together.” She looked up at him in the dark, trying to make out his features in the faint light coming through the window from the living room.