Through Fire (Portland, ME #3)

by Freya Barker

  I smile. It was a perfect night that ended with me falling asleep, half sprawled on his chest, his usual tidy bedroom looking like a tornado hit it. I was surprised when I found myself alone in bed this morning.

  I drop the box on the kitchen counter and check the clock. Nine-thirty, I have lots of time to get ready for my shift. I start the makings of a pot of coffee. Wherever Tim went, he didn’t make coffee this morning, because the old grinds left in the filter are stone cold.

  I’m just sipping my first drops, watching some really eager birds looking for material for a nest. It’s not even spring yet. Getting closer, though. A blast of cold comes in when Tim stumbles in the front door, bags in his hands and a tray with take-out coffee.

  “Damn,” he says, spotting me in the kitchen. “I was hoping to surprise you in bed.” He kicks off his boots and walks in, depositing his load on the counter before turning to me and ducking his cold nose in my neck.

  “Eeeek, you’re freezing!” I try to push him off but he won’t let go. “What’s all that?” I ask him when I finally give up the struggle.

  “We never got around to getting any groceries, so I picked up some necessities for breakfast. Then I passed by that Standard Bakery, and I decided their necessities for breakfast looked much better, and they also have very excellent coffee.” Keeping one arm around me, he proudly presents his purchases. Everything from eggs and milk, to what looks to be half the display case at Standard.

  “Why are there two bags of chocolate croissants?” I ask him, my mouth full of cherry danish, still picking through the pile of bags.

  “Because, my beautiful Ruby,” he says, tightening his arm around my waist and leaning down to rest his chin on my shoulder. “We’re expected at Viv and Ike’s in half an hour.”

  “I don’t have time, I have to get ready, and then I’m scheduled for a shift.” I don’t know if I’m ready to face Viv yet, but I don’t say that out loud. “Can’t we do it another time?”

  Tim turns me around and gives me a warm look. “Too late. I already told them we need a talk to clear the air.”

  “You did what? Why would you do that?” Now I’m completely mortified. I drop the danish on the counter behind me and try to push Tim off. A fruitless endeavor.

  “Look at me,” he says in a stern voice. “Remember what I told you last night? About erasing every single...”

  “Yeah, I remember,” I cut him off, not in the mood to have him melt my heart again.

  “Okay, well I was thinking this morning, perhaps I should first show you that you already erased any of my memories that came before. You did that the first time we kissed.”

  Every protest on my lips turns to dust. “Why do you have to go and say something perfect when I was just working up a good temper?” He throws his head back and starts laughing. Nothing for me to do but drop my face to his chest, feeling every shake and rumble of his body.

  -

  I rub my clammy hands on my jeans when we pull into Ike and Viv’s driveway. Tim turns off the engine, unbuckles, and twists his body toward me, reaching out to cover my hand with his.

  “It’s gonna be fine, Boop. I swear. Sometimes, the best way to make sure a wound doesn’t fester is to rip off the Band-Aid and let it air. It was my mistake not telling you before, but now that it’s out there, let’s deal with it head on.” He lifts my hand and presses his lips in my palm, and then he tugs me closer, bending his head for a soft touch of his lips on mine. “You have my heart, and I promise you...you have all of my memories.”

  We barely get to the door and it swings open, revealing a radiant, and very pregnant, Viv. Tim’s warm hand in the small of my back keeps me from running.

  “So what’s the occasion?” Ike smiles when he accepts the familiar Standard bag. Viv’s behind him, pouring coffee. He leans in over the counter. “You know I have to hide these from her, right?” he whispers conspiratorially, as his wife sneaks up behind him and manages to snatch the bag from his hand, a big smile on her face.

  “Try it, and you’ll find yourself on the couch, mister!”

  “Actually, we have some news,” Tim volunteers and I shrink down on my stool. This is going to be so awkward. Both Ike and Viv raise their eyes questioningly. “First off, Ruby moved in with me yesterday.”

  “Yay!” Viv squeals, clapping her hands. “I’m so happy.” She rushes around the counter and almost pulls me off my stool in a bone-crushing hug.

  “Congrats, man.” Ike pounds Tim on the shoulder.

  “Of course, I’ll give you proper notice. Pay out this month and next.”

  Viv drops her arms from around me instantly. “Are you nuts? The timing couldn’t be more perfect. My brother and his husband just announced last week they’re coming out from San Francisco for an extended period of time. They want to be here for the birth of this baby and are looking into setting up a second gallery here on the East Coast. I was getting anxiety attacks at the thought of them staying with us for any longer than a couple of days at a time. Don’t get me wrong, I love them, but in small doses.” She moves to the other side of the counter and hugs her husband from behind. “You know what this means, right, baby?” Ike covers her hands on his stomach with his own.

  “What’s that?” he smirks.

  “We won’t have to be quiet for our morning constitutional,” she mumbles into his back. Somehow I think she’s not talking about a rigorous walk as my eyes snap to Tim, who is suddenly finding the ceiling very fascinating. Ike just chuckles as he turns and plants a kiss on his wife that instantly raises the temperature in the kitchen.

  “Good news, baby,” he mumbles, the smile big on his face.

  “Alright guys, enough of that,” Tim chuckles. “You’re making Ruby blush.”

  Oh, Ruby is blushing all right. I can feel myself turning beet red as I throw him a dirty look.

  “While we’re on the subject,” he continues, stepping closer and hooking an arm around my front and pressing his body to my back. “And already uncomfortable,” he adds, giving me a squeeze. “This is probably a good time to let you know Viv and my history is no longer a secret.”

  I close my eyes, not wanting to see the looks on their faces, but I can hear Viv.

  “I see,” she says softly. “Ruby, honey. Can you look at me?” After a heavy pause, I reluctantly raise my eyes to find hers tearing up. “Don’t mind the tears, I’m told it’s hormones.” She distractedly snatches the paper towel Ike hands her and rubs at her face. “Honey, I’m glad the moron finally found the balls to tell you. It was a stumble in time, and already long forgotten, but you deserved to know.”

  “Okay,” I reply stupidly, not sure what else there is to say. Tim moves in even closer and leans his chin on the top of my head.

  “I am a moron, because I didn’t actually tell her—she found out by accident. It wasn’t pleasant for her.” I’m pretty sure it wasn’t pleasant for him either, since his shoulder is bruised and swollen from crashing the bathroom door, but I guess it’s a good reminder for both of us that honesty is always the better choice.

  “Who wants to see the nursery?” Ike breaks through the slightly painful silence that follows Tim’s admission. Eager to get some air, I raise my hand.

  “I would,” I say. With a dramatic gesture, Ike invites me to lead the way.

  “Second on the right,” he says, as he follows me up the stairs. I ignore the low rumble of voices coming up from the kitchen as I push open the door Ike indicates.

  “Oh.” I clap my hand over my mouth, it’s just so pretty. Part of me expected pink, but instead the room is done in soft sage green and dark lilac, with splashes of yellow. “It looks like spring,” I tell Ike, who walks past me into the room and runs his hand over the railing of a crib in the same color as the green from the walls. The bedding is lilac and yellow, tying the entire room together.

  “I’m sure Viv will like that better than Pam’s description of an Easter basket,” he chuckles, and I smile.

  Inside my
heart feels a little heavy. I never thought much about not being able to have children. It was never something I was missing, given the life I lead. But standing here, looking at the love and the excited anticipation that was poured into this room, I miss it. I think Ike may have misinterpreted my silence, because he walks up to me and lifts my chin with his thumbs, a hand on either side of my neck. “There is nothing between them but friendship, Ruby. I have to admit, I didn’t feel too good about it at first, but the truth is, Tim’s been a good friend since school and Viv...well, Viv’s everything. I love them both.”

  Stupid me, I burst into tears at his words. Not because of what he says, although it’s beautiful, but because I realize how blessed I am to feel so cared for. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that.

  Tim

  “There you are!”

  As per usual, Mom has her spidey sense on full blast as she comes charging out the door at the precise moment I lift Ruby down from the truck. When I feel Ruby stiffen under my hands, I turn to intercept Mom, but she easily sidesteps me and smothers Ruby, in what looks like a distinctly uncomfortable hug.

  “It’s so good to see you!” Mom gushes as she squeezes Ruby’s face in her hands. Seeing the hint of panic in her eyes, I pull her from Mom’s hands tightly against my side.

  “You too, Mrs. Veldman,” Ruby mumbles, earning a stern look from Mom.

  “It’s Jane,” she snaps, but then her face softens. “Or Mom, whichever you prefer.” I roll my eyes heavenward. Mom’s determination knows no bounds.

  “Hello to you too,” I draw her attention to me, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

  “Hey, honey.” She smiles way too innocently for my peace of mind.

  “Are we hanging out in the driveway all day?” Dad’s ruddy face is sticking out the front door. “I thought you were grabbing me a beer, Jane.” The last is directed at my mother and seems to immediately jar her into action. As she hurries back inside, with us following at a slower pace behind, Dad throws us a quick wink. He knows her well.

  The closer we get to the door, the slower Ruby moves, not sure what to expect from Dad. But I do. It doesn’t surprise me when he steps out on the porch and pulls her straight from underneath my arm into his signature bear hug. “Good to see you, doll,” he rumbles, before turning Ruby to the door and basically marching her inside. Completely ignoring me.

  “You made it.” Mark waves his beer from the couch when I make it to the living room, where Dad’s already trying to sell Ruby on some of his homemade wine. Good thing Ruby rarely touches alcohol, because that stuff would turn her off it completely. Even Dad doesn’t really like it, his preference being beer, but still every Sunday he tries to pawn one of his bottles off on us. Poor Mom is stuck drinking it, since Dad has now banned all other wines from the house. Claims it’s a waste of money to buy her preferred bottles of Moscato with a cellar full of perfectly good wine.

  Another typical Sunday afternoon at Casa di Veldman.

  Armed with a beer and relieved to see Ruby’s insisted on her glass of water—much to my father’s chagrin, I’m sure—I sit down beside her on the couch. Dad flips through the channels for the game and settles back in his recliner. As usual, both Mark and I pop our feet on the coffee table and settle in, but this time I do it feeling pretty damn good with my life. And that has everything to do with the slightly stiff, delicious smelling, woman butted up against me.

  “Why are you all down here?” Mom wants to know, panting as she comes down the last steps. “Turn that thing off!” She flaps her hand at the offensive big screen TV. Dad’s pride and joy. “We’ve got company,” she hisses at my father, who calmly watches her come unhinged.

  “We don’t have company. We’ve got family. Just like every other damn Sunday, woman.”

  “But...” Mom starts to object when Dad cuts her off. I can feel Ruby squirming uncomfortably in the seat beside me. She’s not used to my parents’ tiffs yet, but I’m sure she will be.

  “No buts.” There’s no mistaking the authority in my dad’s voice. Something he’s always been able to shut any one of us up with. “Look around the room, Jane? See anyone who doesn’t belong?” Automatically Mom’s eyes go from Mark, to Ruby, to me, before flicking back to Ruby and a soft smile spreads over her face as understanding dawns.

  “Nope,” she says, with the tiniest of winks at Ruby, before turning on her heel and huffing and muttering all the way upstairs.

  Yup. Not much changes here. Except perhaps the feel of Ruby’s body relaxing against mine, her head tilting to lay against my shoulder, and her hand coming around to rest on my belly. Yeah, except that.

  -

  Ruby falls asleep about two minutes into the Bruins’ second period. When Mom comes down to see if she’ll lend a hand in the kitchen, I shake my head no. I don’t want to wake her up. God knows these past days, since that report on the news, it’s been one drama after another. I know my Boop is emotionally drained. So I let her sleep through the entire game. She barely even flinches when Connolly gets boarded for the second time in the game, making both my brother and father loudly voice their displeasure. Something I’d normally have gladly joined in, but doesn’t seem half as important as the woman snuggled up to me.

  The moment the final minute ticks away on the game, Mom’s head pokes down the stairs. “Dinner!” she yells, unnecessarily, since just like she somehow manages to get it ready at the perfect time each Sunday, we know that when the final whistle goes, the food’s already on the table.

  I let Dad and Mark go up ahead, holding Ruby behind. Mom’s holler woke her up. “Shouldn’t we go upstairs?” she asks, tilting her head to look at me.

  “In just a minute,” I mumble, my mouth already on hers. “I need my appetizer first.”

  -

  Mom’s already served us by the time we sit down at the table, and I pointedly ignore the snickers from across the table where my brother sits. Sometimes, it’s like we’re still in high school.

  “I got you some more water, Ruby. Unless you want something else?” Mom holds up a bottle of Dad’s wine.

  “I’m good with water. Thank you.” I squeeze her knee in relief.

  “So tell us about this Nina?” Dad asks, and I flick my eyes at Mark, who must’ve told them because I sure as heck didn’t.

  The question seems to melt the last of Ruby’s inhibitions, though, because before I have a chance to respond, she launches into a spirited account of our impromptu trip to Boston just this Friday. Feels like a lot more time has passed. I sit back and let her tell the story, a smile playing on my lips when I notice the more passionate she becomes, the thicker her normally almost undetectable accent becomes. Her vowels are rich and round, and her consonants seem to roll off the tip of her tongue. With the color high on her cheeks and fire in her eyes, she’s more beautiful than ever. “Can you believe it?” She ends her impassioned monologue with a dramatic snort.

  “When she gets settled in,” Mom says, sniffling suspiciously. “You bring that girl for a proper Sunday family meal.” She finishes on a sob and Ruby leans in and buries her face in my shoulder.

  “We will, Mom,” I promise, feeling fucking blessed.

  Unfortunately, Mom is not done.

  “And we’ll all go shopping soon,” she adds, clapping her hands.

  This time, Ruby dissolves in giggles, leaving everyone around the table stunned at the unexpected outburst. I can’t hold back and give in to my own bout of hilarity, which only serves to confuse them more.

  -

  Ruby falls asleep on the way home and barely stirs when I try to lift her out of the car. Unfortunately, the condition my shoulder is in, there is no way I can carry her all the way upstairs.

  “Baby, we’re home,” I try, stroking the hair that’s fallen in her face out of the way.

  “I’m home?” she mumbles, cracking her eyes open as she battles back sleep. I help her on her feet and keep my arm firmly around her waist as she stumbles beside me to the front door. I
have to lean her against the wall, while I dig around my coat pockets for the keys. Ruby spreads her arms, palms flat against the siding, rubbing them up and down. “I like our home.”

  “I do too, baby. I do too,” I say, as I finally manage to get her through the door.

  Once upstairs, Ruby flops on her belly on the bed and is almost instantly asleep, leaving me to rid her of her clothes. I stand back to look at her face, soft with sleep, and regret having to pull the covers up over her glorious ample ass, the slight dip of her waist and the swell of her full breast peeking out on the side. She fits me perfectly.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Ruby

  “You’ll love them, cariño” I look over my shoulder, where Nina is huddled nervously in the backseat.

  These past three weeks have brought us to spring, and Tim’s parents are throwing the first BBQ of the season. Still just a Sunday family dinner, Jane assured me on the phone, but this time with hamburgers and hot dogs. The invitation to bring Nina along had been a repeat of a standing invitation since she asked the first time. The difference this time, I’d had a chance to spend some time with Nina. Some with Pam, when she felt my presence would be helpful, and some time just for the two of us. Getting to know each other better, hanging out for lunch at The Skipper a few times, and talking about school. Nina was understandably hesitant to start school here, so for now Pam is home-schooling her, with the approval of CPS. Assessing her knowledge level and preparing her for the standard curriculum. I’m glad for her. Glad she’ll have the chance to make something of herself. I want to make sure she doesn’t waste it.

  The last few times, I brought Tim into the mix, who hadn’t seen Nina since we dropped her off at Florence House. Careful to keep his distance at first, he’d had no problem making her feel safe, just as he’d done with me. We’d just seen her yesterday morning when we took her out for breakfast. Jane’s call had come in the night before, and after a quick chat with Pam, we’re hoping that we’d might be able to convince Nina to come.