by Delisa Lynn
“No Evan… Please… I need you.”
When I got back to the bed she was rubbing her self. “Damn baby, that’s hot as hell.” I said as I slid a condom on. She looked down at my dick and back into my eyes.
“Yes Mal, it will be fine.” I kneeled between her legs and asked her one more time if she was sure. She shook her head yes. I guided myself inside her wet opening. I noticed a single tear rolled down her cheek. I wiped it away with my thumb as I whispered to her, “You’re beautiful.”
I could tell I was getting ready to release, I started moving faster as I felt my build up, she had already came. I could tell by the way her back was arched. “Oh Mal. Fuck…” is all I could get out before I fell onto her chest.
“Evan, that was amazing. Thank you for being so gentle.” I kissed her cheek and motioned her to the shower. I hoped everything would be okay with us. I really liked her, and hoped that we could eventually love one another.
After showering I asked if she wanted to grab a drink, with a shy smile she said yes. I hoped that the loft was empty, but as I opened the door there were four others still sitting in the living room. I noticed Alyssa was gone.
Looked like Mal and I both had to do the walk of shame. I smiled at them all, and got my keys off the counter and headed out the door. It was December and the New York snow had been falling, it was beautiful. Mal and I walked around the corner to the café. Alyssa no longer worked there, I was so thankful she didn’t.
Mal and I had been ‘seeing’ each other for several months. We never really said we were dating, we just hung out, but I hadn’t seen or been with anyone except her. I really liked her. After the first time we slept together, she seemed like she couldn’t get enough of me. I turned her into a sex maniac.
She was from New Jersey and was heading home to be with her family for the holidays. She’d been thinking about leaving NYU and going to Penn State. I really hoped she didn’t, I enjoyed spending time with her. We had so much in common. I’d never told her about Bryn though. I thought when the time was right I would.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go home for the holidays or stay here, Utah brought back all the memories of Bryn. I tried not to think about her but it didn’t work. I didn’t love her anymore, it hurt knowing what she did.
Since everyone else was leaving and going home, I decided to go to Alabama with Zander. It would be great to see my grandparents. I could use some time away, and I knew my pap would put me to work on the farm, which was fine with me. As I packed my bags my cell phone chimed.
Mal: Evan, I hate to do this to you like this. But I’m going to stay in Jersey for a while. I withdrew from my classes. I’m so unsure what I want to do with my life and it’s just costing my parents extra money that they can’t afford. I hope that we can still be friends. Your friendship means a lot to me. When I’m in town I hope we can still ‘get together’. PLEASE… Forgive me for leaving like this, I was ashamed to tell you in person. I really care about you, thank you for making my first time a night I will never forget. You are an amazing man, I will miss you and every inch of you. –Mal
How the fuck would I respond to a text like that? She broke up with me through a goddamn text message. Our relationship was more of a ‘friends with benefits’ but I really liked her. I tried to replay last night over in my head and it all made sense. She took several pictures of us together and she stayed with me the entire night. Why the fuck couldn’t she tell me in person? I was so pissed off at her, I couldn’t text or call her I would had said something that I would regretted. I couldn’t fall asleep, even if I tried.
I took my guitar out and started playing and got lost in the lyrics, now I see why they say country music is depressing. It helped me though, anytime I got in a funk, the lyrics of good ol’ Conway Twitty or George Jones pulled me out of it. I sat there with my guitar in one hand and needing a beer in the other. I didn’t love that girl, but she broke my heart a little.
That is why I don’t fall in love!!
It was great to be in Birmingham, my parents also came to spend Christmas with us. It was great to have everyone under one roof. Zander rented a car at the airport, he dropped me off at the farm on his way home. His parents lived about five miles away. His sister Tatum came home, she attended a university a few hours away and lived on campus.
“Is that Gran’s homemade apple pie I smell?” I said as I entered the kitchen. My gran made the best damn apple pie, they even sold it in the local grocery store. I could eat an entire pie myself.
“Evan, baby, is that you?” I heard my gran from the kitchen.
“Yes, Ma’am, it is me.” I said as I walked up to her and pulled her into a big bear hug. She was a beautiful woman, her auburn hair had now turned silver and she was a lot thinner since I saw her last.
I kissed her on her cheek and she swatted my behind and said, “Boy, you can’t just sneak in on an old lady unannounced. Your pap is out in the barn, he and Mr. Kelley are getting the cattle together. Speaking of The Kelley’s, where’s that handsome friend of yours?”
I laughed at my gran’s words, she always said Zander would make some lucky woman a good husband someday.
“He went home, Tatum had just made home, also.” I said, I noticed my grandmother’s smile get even bigger.
“Oh, so Tatum will be joining us all for dinner?” asked Gran.
Okay what was she up to? “I’m not sure, he hasn’t said anything about it. Are they all joining us for dinner tomorrow?”
“Of course they are Evan, they always spend the holidays with us. Now go get unpacked and help your pap.” My gran was the most outspoken woman I’d ever met
“Yes Gran, I will head out there now.” I went to unpack, and I’d seen Zander pull up. He had a woman with him, that couldn’t be little Tatum. If so, she had changed so much in the last couple years.
“Hey Zan, Tatum? Is that you?” I asked as I approached the two. She was beautiful blonde hair and brown eyes. She looked older than eighteen. I leaned in to hug her and her touch gave me cold chills.
“Hey Evan, it’s been a long time. I was glad that you came to visit.” Tatum said as she stood on her tip toes and kissed my cheek. The twinkle in her eye made me smile.
“I’m glad I came also. So how is school going?” I asked her as I took her hand and walked toward the porch. As we reached the front stoop my gran swung the screen door open. The smile on her face explained everything. She wanted me with Tatum. Hell who wouldn’t want to be with her. She had grown into a beautiful woman.
“Tatum, dear is that you? You are even prettier than the last time you where here.” Gran said, as she pulled Tatum in for a hug. I could see the love in my gran’s eyes that she has for this young lady. I knew that old lady was up to something. She is so sneaky.
“I will leave you kids along to chat, Zander I need your help in the kitchen.” Gran said as she winked at me.
I sat on the porch swing and Tatum sat next to me, she smelled so good. I could get lost in her scent. I wanted to ask her so many questions about her life. I was very curious to see what she had been up to. I had never thought of her as more than a friend, hell we grew up together. She used to be a tomboy and ran around with Zander and me on the farm. I knew she used to say she wanted to be a cow doctor.
“Tatum, how is everything, are you going to school to be a cow doctor?” I laughed as I said it. She looked at me with such a serious face and then busted into laughter. What the hell, she is the one that called it that.
“Omigosh Evan, I can’t believe you remember that, I feel so silly. Yes, I still want to be a cow doctor. Better known as a veterinarian. I’m just taking all my general classes now at the university and I think I may transfer to an out of state university.”
I threw my head back laughing at her words. “What state will you be moving to? You can always attend NYU with us.” I hoped she would say New York. But she crushed me when she said she was thinking about Michigan to attend University of Michigan. Why the
hell would she go there? If she wanted to go to that part of the map, Ohio would be a better choice. They have the best veterinarian college, and their football team is the best in the country, and of course the best damn marching band in the land.
Just as I started to ask if she was seeing anyone her phone rang. “Oh, Evan, please excuse me, I have to answer this.” She said as she stepped off the porch. I could hear a little of what she was saying, I tried not to eavesdrop but she was basically still standing next to me.
I started to walk in the house when she hung up, and I could tell she was upset.
“Is everything okay, sweetheart?” I asked and she sat down on the porch and I saw the tears welled up in her eyes. I sat down next to her and put my arm around her.
She looked at me with her tears rolling down her cheeks and said, “Will you go for a walk with me, Evan?”
I grabbed her hand and we walked down the drive way hand in hand.
“Evan, my boyfriend is very controlling. He got pissed off because I came home for the holiday. Please don’t tell Zander, he will go beat the shit out of him.”
I could feel my other hand cringe at the thought of someone hurting her. I felt my stomach get weak.
“Tatum, does he hurt you, baby?” I was praying to God that she said no but that look on her innocent face answered for her. She just shook her head no.
“Look sweetie, why don’t we go grab dinner. I haven’t been to Mable’s Diner in years.” I said ask, she squeezed my hand.
“Okay, that sounds great. Should we tell Zan?”
I called him and told him we would be back in a little while. He didn’t ask any questions. We walked to the diner and sat in a small booth in the corner. It brought back so many memories of my childhood here and the time I spent with Zander and Tatum.
“So Ta, how long have you been seeing…uh…this ass?” I asked and she laughed.
Her laugh was perfect. The waitress came and took our order. Tatum ordered a grilled chicken and pecan salad with an iced tea with lemon. I ordered the double cheese burger and fries platter with a sweet tea.
Then Tatum looked at me and said, “It’s Thayer, and we have been together for about a year. He hasn’t always been controlling, but he knew you would be here and doesn’t want me around my brother’s friends. He knows that you and I were close growing up. He also knows you were my first kiss, and that well…um…I really liked you.”
“Well I won’t say anything to anyone this time, but you have to promise me that you won’t let him hurt you. You’re too good for that shit! Ahh… You remember that, I was so nervous that day. I remember I had wanted to kiss you for weeks, I could never get the nerve to do so.”
Then I remember that I was an ass, I was supposed to write her and come back to her but then I started seeing Bryn. Fuck. I hurt her, and didn’t even notice.
“Tatum, I’m sorry I never wrote, when I went back I thought about you, the kisses we shared, and the hell of a summer together. I will never forget, you looked so damn pretty in those white shorts and purple boots. I started seeing Bryn when I went back home. And when I came back the following the summers, I never saw you. Zan would tell me you were busy with friends.” She looked at me with a sad smile and thanked me. Hell I would love to kiss her right now, she kept chewing on her bottom lip, and every time she did I licked my lips. She had no idea how bad I wanted to jump over the damn table and take her in my arms and bite that lip myself.
I couldn’t believe she would let some mother fucker treat her that way, she was always so strong and brave when we were younger. Hell she had to be to hang out on the farm with her brother and me. We were always getting hurt by climbing fences and falling out of trees. We ate lunch and walked back to the farm. Zander was waiting for us when we returned, I think he knew something was wrong.
“Evan can I talk to you for a second man?” Zan said, I looked at him and shook my head. I really wasn’t comfortable lying to him, but I promised Tatum I wouldn’t say anything.
“So what’s going on with my sister?” Damn, I can do this, I’d thought to myself.
“Nothing, I was hungry and wanted to catch up with her.” I said, as I looked away.
Thank God he said okay and we headed out to the barn with the other guys. My parents had arrived and all the girls were in the house cooking. We all decorated the tree together, my grandparents never decorate until the week of Christmas. They always had that tradition.
Tatum helped me hang the star on the top, well she took it and insisted she put it on the tree. I grabbed her by her waist and lifted her up so she could reach the top. I could see the twinkle in her eyes.
After everyone settled in, Tatum and I made some hot chocolate. I started a fire in the family room, and we sat by the tree talking. It felt good talking to her, she was a very intelligent young woman. She told me about her friend Audrey, apparently she had a huge crush on Zander, and he couldn’t stand her. So he said. I hadn’t seen Audrey in years but the four of us were going to the mall on Christmas Eve.
“Evan, I guess I better get going. It’s late and we are going shopping tomorrow, no backing out!” she said, laughing.
“I don’t want you to go. Stay, we can just sit here all night. If you get tired, you can take the couch and I will take the floor.” I said as I got some blankets out of the closet.
“Ugh, Evan, okay…fine, but you can’t fall asleep before me. I need to call and tell my parents to see if it’s okay.” She said as she pulled her phone out of her purse. I noticed she had an odd look on her face.
“What’s wrong Ta, Is everything okay?” I asked as I stepped closer to her. She looked like she had seen a ghost. I noticed she was scrolling through her phone. It must be the jerk.
“Oh yeah, it was Thayer just wanting to know how I was doing.” She tried smiling as she said that, I knew differently.
“Okay, so are we having this slumber party? Hot chocolate, dominos, childhood memories?” I asked, praying she said yes.
“Yes, I will stay. But do not go to sleep and leave me awake alone. I will get bored. Can I borrow some of your clothes? I don’t want to sleep in this.” She said as she pointed to her jeans.
“Let me grab us both something more comfortable.” I went to grab us both a pair of sweats and a NYU tees. That was a pretty sight, seeing her tiny body in my clothes.
“Here ya go, it’s nothing fancy. But it is comfortable,” I said as I tossed her the clothes.
“Thanks, and um… No peeking while I change!” she said turning her back, laughing.
“Ha… You are safe with me, I’ll close my eyes.” I said as I sat on the floor. Hell yeah I wanted to peek, but I didn’t.
“Okay. Now let’s get this party started. Who is the lucky lady you are seeing now?” she asked as she sat next to me and covered our legs with a blanket. Why would she ask that? I hadn’t said anything to let her believe I was dating.
“There isn’t one. I have been single for a while now.” I said, praying she didn’t ask about Bryn. She scooted closer to me and started yawning.
“Oh, well I just figured there would be. Yawn…I have been with Thayer…yawn…for about a year, before him I really hadn’t had…yawn…a boyfriend. Well other than you.” She said as she poked me in the arm.
“Ta, if you are tired we can go to sleep. I will sit here till you fall asleep.” I would love to hold her all night but I knew she had a boyfriend. So I kept my distance. I took the blanket and covered her entire body up.
“Nope, I’m not tired…yawn…I want some more hot chocolate. With extra whipped cream, please.” She said, as she handed me her cup.
“Ahh, extra huh?” I said, laughing as I walked into the kitchen.
The extra reminded me the whipped cream bikini on Varsity Blues, man I love that movie. I turned around and saw a smiling Tatum on my heels, she was up to something, but I couldn’t figure out what.
“Okay. Ta, what are you going to do?” I asked as I sat the whipped cream on th
e counter, and poured more hot chocolate in our cups.
“Oh, nothing much, just thought I would help you with that extra whip.” She said giggling with a hand behind her back and a shit eating grin.
I went to put the whipped cream in our cups and it was gone, I looked at Tatum, and she busted out laughing and sprayed whipped cream all over me. She pointed it at my face and it went everywhere, all over me and the counter.
“Fight on now little lady.” I said as I tackled her to take the can, she had a tight grip on it and I had whipped cream all over me.
“No, no, you aren’t getting it. I only want extra whip on my hot chocolate not me.” She said and started laughing, holding the can in the air.
“Fine, I will give you extra my way.” I said as I took my face and rubbed it all over hers. She was laughing so hard, I was too. It was pretty funny. Then our eyes met and something sparked, I leaned my head forward, and as soon as our lips where getting ready to connect, my phone rang. I moved my head from hers and her eyes where still locked to mine, our bodies laid against one another’s with whipped cream dripping from both our faces. We didn’t move, we just stared into one another’s eyes. Then she spoke, “Evan, should you get that?” Oh fuck yeah, that was my phone ringing.
“No, it’s okay. I will call them back later.” I said and I didn’t move. One of my hands was under her back and the other was on her waist. I wanted to kiss her so fucking bad, but I knew it was all wrong. I couldn’t, not then, not there, not like that. So I moved my body off of hers, in the slowest motion I have ever seen.
“Thanks Tatum, now we are all sticky,” I said before started laughing.
“Okay, let’s get cleaned up. Can we use the shower in the barn?” she asked.
“I’m sure we can, I will grab us some more clothes.” I went to get more clothes. What is she wanting to go to the barn for, that’s a weird request when there is three showers in the house?
We walked to the barn together, and she took the sprayer and started washing her hair, then she looked at me and started spraying me. That little shit, this is why she wanted to come to the barn.