Sliding (The Stone Series)

by Kitty Berry

  I tell Drew how I never understood my parent’s relationship. I always suspected my dad of fooling around but she never did a thing about it. He would stay at his office for nights on end claiming to be working on a tough case. When he was home he was miserable or drunk. He was controlling with both my mother and I but where I fought him on everything my mother always gave in to him. I never wanted to be like him but in the end that’s who I became, a controlling husband who refused to give his wife the one thing she yearned for because I was too jealous.

  During our first group sessions Brook finally admits to an eating disorder. I feel like Brook has done this to herself for me and it makes me sick to think that she feels like my mother did, like she has to be perfect to keep the love of her husband. I’m disgusted in myself that she thinks so little of me.

  My next therapy session focuses on my unresolved issues with my father. Drew and I talk about my relationship with my father growing more and more hostile over the years. By high school he had started physical altercations with me and by the time I was ready to leave for college I had had enough and started fighting back.

  I never wanted to upset my mother so for years I just kind of took it but by senior year I was bigger and stronger than him and fed up with taking his bullshit. I tell Drew about the day when Brook was on her way over to pick me up for a party and my father and I got into a fight. My mom tried to break us up; she was crying when Brook got there and she was able to calm me down enough that I let my father go and left with Brook. After that my father never picked another fight with me but it destroyed our relationship. Our relationship was never the same and then shortly after I left for college.

  I tell Drew about my Nana and how she left me her entire estate that amounted to well over ten million dollars. My father was pissed off that it went to me and even more upset that I was planning on using it to open my own music company. I was in college at the time and I asked Bobby to be my partner on the music side and we planned to have Brook head up the choreography and creative development side. We would become a powerhouse in the industry, managing talent, creating their videos and concert choreography. There would be nothing we couldn’t do as a team the three of us and I’d have my best friend and my girlfriend by my side forever safe and secure. When Brook and I graduate from college we plan to live in the apartment my Nana left me in the city and that’s where we’ll start our company, Taylor Studios INC.

  On the night of the award dinner Tate still has no clue that I am involved in it at all. He is the picture of pure calm as he gets ready for the biggest honor of his career. He is wearing all black tonight, a black suit with a black shirt that he is wearing without a tie and open at the top revealing the beginning of his chest. He is going for the day old stubble look tonight instead of the usual clean cut look that he usually has for these events. I am dressed in a soft flowing light pink baby doll dress with flats. My hair is styled in soft curls around my face and flowing down my back. I am wearing my makeup natural tonight and I have a brushing of pink bubblegum lipstick on. I look much younger than my forty years dressed like this but it’s the effect I will need for my performance. The Botox treatment the other day has helped a bit too. I’m glad Tate is so calm because I am not, this will be my first public performance in years and I will be on stage with a group of eighteen to twenty-two year olds. I hate that my business is for the young and pushes the rest of us behind the scenes as soon as we see thirty on the horizon.

  We get to the theater and I can see that Tate is overwhelmed by this recognition. I think it hits him that this is such a huge honor when he sees just how many people are there and the celebrity level they are. We mingle in the lobby for awhile accepting well wishes from colleagues and friends. When the lights begin to blink and Tate is asked to take his seat I make up an excuse to use the bathroom. Thankfully Tate is distracted and doesn’t offer to walk with me. Instead of heading to the bathroom I make my way back stage. I watch as my dancers flawlessly perform my choreography and I see the recognition of my work on my husband’s face.

  When “I Won’t Give Up” begins I come on stage alone using my body to call to Tate. When the audience realizes it’s me they all stand and clap. As they sit down Tate walks up to the front of the stage. There are stars floating in the air around the stage and I try to grab them as I do a leg extension. I stand with my feet apart and pound my thighs; then I turn and begin a series of leaps.

  As the lyrics begin, I back up on the stage, lock eyes with Tate and run flying off the stage knowing with full confidence that I will land in Tate’s arms. Tate and I dance on the floor in front of the stage with each other as if the world has disappeared even though the audience is giving us a standing ovation.

  Tate is crying into my hair as he says, “Thank you for being the love of my life. Without you I would never have been who I am today.” Then he releases me, lifts me back on stage where I’m met by my company as “Try” begins.

  When the song ends I bow and kiss my hands sending my kisses to Tate giving him my acknowledgement, calling him to the stage. As he begins to walk onto the stage I leap into his arms again with my legs wrapped around his waist and slowly slide down his body as the company leaves the stage. Tate kisses me passionately for all to see in one of our true kisses that the press is rarely granted, I try to leave the stage but Tate wraps his arm around my waist pulling me with him to the podium.

  Tate begins his speech. “I am so overwhelmed at this moment everything I planned to say has slipped my mind. I want to thank everyone who came to honor me this evening; it is truly an honor to share tonight with each and every one of you. It is because of all of you that I am standing here this evening. I have been honored to work with each and every one of you and I hope that I will be able to continue to work with you in the future. I have to thank my mother who is not here this evening. After my father’s passing two years ago she decided to go on a world tour. I’m just hoping it’s not like the world tour some of you have taken. Yes, I get calls when you destroy hotel rooms and blow up cars” Tate jokes. Tate continues when the crowd settles back down. “My mom always supported this dream. Even when other’s around me told me it was the dream of a stupid kid who was throwing his life away, my mom never doubted me. And now for my oldest and best friend and business partner. Come out here man. Bobby has been by my side my whole life, without him I would not be the man I am today. Bobby thanks man for all the crazy times during our younger years and I look forward to working in this industry with you until we are so deaf we can’t even hear the music anymore.” One of the artists heckles Tate saying, “That should be next week old man” and Tate points at him and laughs. Bobby comes on stage and hugs Tate with tears in his eyes then he kisses my cheek and leaves the stage as Tate continues. “My wife” Tate chokes out “The most amazing woman in the world and the most talented choreographer, Brooklynn Taylor. She and I have been together for almost thirty years and I know it sounds like a cliché but in this case it’s the truth, she is the love of my life, my soul mate. I’m sure you have all read the story of our love affair, it’s a media favorite. We live together, we work together and my favorite part, we play together.” The audience hoots and hollers and Tate smacks my ass. “She is the one who deserves to be recognized, the saying about there always being a great woman behind every great man could not be truer when it comes to us. Brooklynn, I fell in love with you when I was fourteen years old and not a day has gone by where my love for you has not grown. You are truly my life.” Tate kisses me with one hand on my waist and one in my hair. The audience stands and claps. Tate breaks our kiss and finishes, “Thank you all again and I hope you all enjoy your evening.”

  The night flies by. Some of the artists perform and a few make speeches dedicated to Tate. Champagne is flowing and I notice an occasional line being snorted. It never ceases to amaze me how no one hides their drug use anymore and I wonder if Tate will be tempted. Tate and I dance to a few songs and we mingle with friends. When the
night comes to an end we leave together quietly hand in hand and that is how we remain for the car ride back to the hotel.

  Once in our suite Tate buries his face in my hair and inhales, taking me in. He whispers, “I want to make love to you, come to bed with me” and he leads me to our room. He has the room illuminated by candles and Clapton is singing “You Look Wonderful Tonight” on the iPod. Tate walks behind me and lifts up my hair. “You were wonderful tonight” he whispers and gently blows on the back of my neck before apply his soft sweet kisses to that area. He wraps his arms around me, places his palms on my stomach and pulls me into him. I can feel his erection already but I can tell this is going to be a slow long lasting tender session. Tate slowly lifts my dress over my head, using his hands to rub my skin as he goes. He hooks his thumbs into my dance shorts and slides them down effortlessly. He removes my bra and I am standing in front of him naked, exposed. He slides his jacket off his shoulders and it falls to the floor behind him. He runs his hand through his hair then over his stubble as he stares at me. He locks eyes with me and I find it difficult to hold his gaze. I feel vulnerable now that he knows how I feel about my body. Tate senses this and lifts my chin saying, “Stop, let me look at you. You are stunning. I need to know I can make you feel as beautiful as I see you.” Tate runs the tip of his finger over my lips and his breathe catches when I lick it with the tip of my tongue.

  “God, I still want you as bad as I did at fifteen. Do you know how much that is?” Tate asks.

  “Yes, I think I remember how anxious you were back then to have me” I reply with a giggle.

  Tate drags his finger down my throat to my chest. He follows his finger with feather light kisses. He cups my breasts lifting them up and together in his hands so he can simultaneously make both nipples hard when he licks them together. His tongue gently runs over one then the other and he repeats the process. My body responds instantly and I find it difficult to stand on my feet. Tate begins to flick his tongue faster, picking up his pace with each rotation until I am sure I am going to collapse. He picks me up in his arms and walks to our bed where he eases me down as he slides between my legs. He kisses me with a passion that is so deep it brings tears to my eyes and I feel my salty tears start to run down my face. Tate pulls back and looks at me, when he sees me crying says, “Shh, baby don’t cry. Everything is going to be okay with us, we just need time.”

  Tate begins to kiss each tear on my cheek before he props himself up on his legs and removes his shirt. He is teasing me, letting the need build as he undoes each button one at a time. Once his shirt is open exposing the patch of hair between his pectoral muscles and his happy trail I run my fingers through them and he tilts his head back and groans. I sit up and slide his shirt completely off of his body, running my hands over his biceps. Tate lays me back down and kisses my stomach. He slides his hand up my leg and runs it over the smooth newly waxed skin. He places his long middle finger in the crease of my core and vibrates it from side to side. The tip of his finger is on my clitoris awakening all of my senses. Tate inserts his finger into me, slowly removes it, places it into his mouth and sucks on it.

  “Mmm..I want to taste you. Spread your legs for me and relax. I want you to come in my mouth.” Tate glides his tongue down my stomach to my thigh. He gently sucks my inner thigh and when he gives it a little bite I sit up. “Relax, lay back down” Tate demands as he gently pushes me back on the bed.

  Tate uses his tongue to lick my lips while he undoes his pants. As he is sliding out of his boxer briefs his tongue is flicking my clit. Tate knows the signs of my impending orgasm so he relentlessly continues to flick at my sweet spot. When he knows I’m about to come he stops flicking me and instead spreads me open with his fingers and blows up and down my open slit. A sound escapes me that I have never heard before and Tate takes this as a signal to insert his tongue inside of me making my orgasm constrict around it. He moans and sucks on me, sits up licks his lips then kisses me on my mouth. “I love the way you taste, suck your come off my lips, it turns me on.” I do as Tate asks and I suck his bottom lip first, when I suck his top lip I give it a gently nip before I insert my tongue into his mouth.

  Tate slowly and gently inserts his erection into me, he moans as he penetrates me. As he slowly rocks in and out of me he kisses me and moans into my mouth. I forgot how gentle he can be when he wants to. After being apart for six months we’ve been doing it a little more roughly than usual and it’s been nice but this is nice too. Because Tate is moving so slowly I have the opportunity to build myself up again and by the time he breaks our kiss and props up on his arms ready to quicken his pace I’m ready to find another release. Tate moves his hips faster, still gently moving in and out of me and it makes me catch my breath once again. When Tate whispers, “I’m going to come inside you right now” I explode around him and we come together as if we are in a universe all our own.

  We didn’t get much sleep last night, we fall asleep around five in the morning and now at ten we are entering Bernie and Drew’s office wearing our dark shades and carrying extra strong coffees. We tell Bernie and Drew all about the event last night and our plans to see the specialist later today. Bernie tries to steer the conversation in the direction of my past eating disorder but I would like to talk about my doctor’s appointment today. I bring up how I hate going to the gynecologist and it reminds me of my first time.

  ************

  The first Monday I am back from camp my mother calls her doctor and schedules an appointment for me before school starts. I am so scared to go but what choice do I have. I can’t end up pregnant like Asia did and have an abortion and I know that I can’t hold Tate off much longer. On the day of the appointment I tell my mother that I want to go alone so she agrees to bring me in, get me checked in and deal with the insurance but she promises to wait for me in the waiting room, not come into the exam room.

  Before we leave I have a fight with my sister about her going out with Steve’s brother. I find out from her that it’s not what I thought at all. I had assumed that Steve had two younger brothers, one being Katrina’s age but I was wrong. The younger brother she is going out with turns out to be a senior making him five years older than my sister. For God sake he’s older than Tate and I. She will not listen to reason and I don’t know what else to do so I call and explain to Tate who she’s going out with and he flips.

  “What the fuck? You know what this is about, don’t you? All he’s going to do is try to fuck her. Jesus, she’s a little kid. This is fucking bullshit and I’m putting an end to it right fucking now. That mother fucker is dead.”

  He slams down the phone on me and I try calling him back but the line is busy and then my mother starts yelling for me to get in the car for my appointment. I tell my sister that she better break up with him before I get back or I am telling my mother.

  My mother and I arrive at the doctor’s office and she keeps her promise and stays in the waiting room. The first thing the nurse does is weigh me and when the scale says eighty-five pounds she doesn’t look too happy. Seeing as I have gained two pounds since being home, I’m not that thrilled myself! She asks me to pee in a cup; she takes my height and blood pressure and asks when my last period was. I tell her it was in June and being that it is now August I think she is convinced that I am pregnant. When I promise that I am still a virgin and admit to being there to get birth control so I can have sex she starts asking me all these questions about my eating and exercising. I don’t like where this is going so I change my story and tell her that I got the days mixed up in my head. I don’t know if she believes me or not but it seems to work.

  “Take off everything and put the gown on with the opening in front. The doctor will be in to see you shortly” the nurse says before leaving the room.

  When the door opens and a female doctor enters the room I am relieved she’s a woman but afraid to talk to her about why I am here.

  “So, you are planning on having sex so you want to go on the pill?”
she asks.

  “Um…yeah. This is all private right? Like I told my mom and everything but I don’t want you to tell her anything.”

  She promises me that she won’t speak to my mother without my consent but that I should talk to her and if I’m not able to talk to her about my becoming sexually active maybe I’m not mature enough to start having sex. She gives me the same safe sex, condoms and AIDS speech I hear every year in health class and it goes in one ear and out the other. She says because I am a virgin she will not use the speculum and do a full exam in case my hymen is still intact. She explains that sex for the first few times can be a little painful and if my hymen is intact I will bleed. She asks me if I use tampons and I tell her no, I use pads.