Love by Secrets (A Romance Novella)

by Debra Elizabeth

  “Mama, may I wait with you?”

  Catherine nodded, and stepped aside to let her daughter into the room. “Yes, but please be as quiet as possible.”

  Emily nodded and came inside. She glanced at her father and his eyes opened.

  “Emily dear, come closer,” Riley said, with ragged breath.

  Emily rushed to her father’s side. “Oh, Papa, how are you feeling?”

  Riley took his daughter’s hand in his own. “I will be well. No need to worry.”

  Emily lifted her father’s hand, and rested it against her cheek. “I am so very sorry for yesterday. I will do as you ask. Please, please forgive my rudeness. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “Dearest child, look at me,” her father began. “There is nothing to forgive. It was not your fault, but mine. My silly heart gave me notice; that’s all.”

  Tears of relief flowed down Emily’s face. She leaned in, and kissed her father gently on the cheek. “Oh, Papa, thank you for lifting such a heavy burden from my heart. I cannot endure another moment thinking I had caused you pain. I love you so very much and I want you to get well.”

  Catherine stood behind her daughter. She rested her hand on Emily’s shoulder. “Come away now, dear, and let your father rest. You may visit him again later in the day.”

  Emily kissed her father’s hand again before releasing it. She stood and faced her mother. “Mama, are you still angry with me?”

  Catherine eye’s widened in surprise. “Angry? Why would I be angry with you?”

  “Last night you seemed so distant.”

  Catherine pulled her daughter to her breast, and hugged her tightly. “No, of course I’m not angry. I had many worries on my mind last night. I thought it best we all got some rest. It was a very tiring day. That is all. There was no anger.”

  Emily released a pent-up breath. “Thank you, Mama. I never want you to be angry with me.”

  Her mother released her, and pushed a stray lock of hair out of her face. “Go now, and have Cook make you a breakfast tray. I don’t want to worry about you not eating. Everything is going be fine now.”

  Emily smiled. “Yes, Mama.” She looked over her shoulder. “Papa, I shall come again soon. Perhaps I can read to you for a bit.”

  Riley nodded, and Emily left the room.

  Catherine went and sat on the bed next to her husband. She fluffed up his pillows, and coaxed him to eat a bite of biscuit. “My dear, you must eat if you are to regain your strength.”

  “Yes, I know, but I am very tired at the moment. Leave the tray, and I will eat later,” Riley murmured, behind closed eyes.

  Catherine kissed her husband’s cheek before climbing off the bed. “Of course, dear. I will check on you later.”

  She found Emily sitting at the desk in the sunroom. A tray of tea and biscuits sat untouched upon the table. “Emily, what is so urgent that you must pen a letter before you’ve had something to eat?”

  Emily looked up. “Mama, I promised Papa that I would marry Mr. Richardson. I am inviting him to visit me.” She handed her mother the letter.

  Catherine scanned the contents.

  Dear Mr. Richardson,

  I would welcome your visit at your earliest convenience.

  Sincerely,

  Miss Stanton

  A smile spread on Catherine’s face. “This is such happy news. Mr. Richardson is a fine, young man. He will be a good husband and you will be well taken care of.”

  Emily took the letter from her mother’s outstretched hand. “Yes, Mama.” She folded and sealed the letter, but sadness filled her heart. How could she marry Mr. Richardson when she loved Mr. Preston? She had been so sure that Mr. Preston would propose, but why had he waited so long? She had convinced herself that he wouldn’t have kissed her if he didn’t have feelings her. Now, nothing mattered. It was too late. She would marry Mr. Richardson. She had promised Papa and would honor his decision. She didn’t understand the world of men.

  ***

  The sun was high in the sky when Emily heard the coach outside. She put her embroidery aside, smoothed down her dress, and waited for Mrs. Jannell to announce their guest. She was expecting Mr. Richardson to visit her and she composed herself.

  Her face split into a joyful grin when she saw Mia behind the housekeeper. She rushed over to her. “Oh, Mia, you’ve come.”

  Mia hugged her friend. “I could think of no better place to be. I read your letter, and my heart ached for your anguish. How is your father? Please, tell me everything.”

  Emily released her friend. “Papa is better, but still weak. Let’s go to sunroom and have some tea. You must be weary from your trip, especially in your condition.

  Emily turned to the housekeeper. “Mrs. Jannell, may we have some tea, please?”

  “Of course; I shall bring it shortly,” the housekeeper said, and hurried down the hall.

  Emily took Mia’s hand. “Come; let’s get you off your feet. You must rest.”

  The two young women made themselves comfortable in the sunroom. Sunlight streamed in the windows, and the cut roses from the garden scented the room.

  “I’ve always loved this room,” Mia said. “It is so bright and cheery.”

  “Yes, it’s my favorite room as well. But, tell me, how are you feeling? Was the coach uncomfortable?”

  “Oh no, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

  It wasn’t long before Mrs. Jannell delivered the tea, and a tray of refreshments.

  “Thank you,” Emily said.

  Mrs. Jannell nodded, and slipped out of the room.

  Mia grabbed Emily’s hand. “Tell me, how are you faring?”

  “I am better today. Last night I could not sleep a wink because I was so worried about Papa and I was dreadfully mistaken about Mama’s anger. She was tired last night; that is all.”

  “That’s good to hear. I did not think your Mama could be angry with you. What of your father’s health?”

  “The doctor said his heart is weak, but he will recover with the proper rest. I saw him earlier this morning, and he places no blame on me for his condition.”

  “You must be relieved.”

  “Oh, Mia. My heart soared with his words. I could never live with myself if I had caused him to be unwell.”

  “I am glad for that.”

  “Mia, thank you so much for coming today. You have no idea how much your presence comforts me, and is very much appreciated.”

  Mia squeezed Emily’s hand. “I could think of no place that I would rather be than by your side in your time of need.”

  “I have something else to tell you,” Emily said. “I have sent a letter to Mr. Richardson welcoming his visit.”

  “Oh, but I thought…”

  “No. I promised Papa this morning that I would marry Mr. Richardson, and I will abide by my word. I must not upset him while he recovers.” Emily looked at her friend, her eyes welling with tears.

  “Please don’t cry, my dearest friend. Life is so unfair sometimes, but Mr. Richardson seems like a kind man. I have spoken with him on a few occasions and I regard him highly. I know he will treat you well.”

  Emily swiped at her eyes. “Indeed he is, and the decision is made. I will honor it.”

  “All will be well, you’ll see.”

  “I hope so,” Emily said. “How long can you stay?”

  “Only until tomorrow. Mr. Giles will be returning home and I wish to tell him of my special news.

  Chapter 11

  Emily spent the next several days spending as much time with her father as he could handle, reading his favorite books to him, and coaxing him to eat. She was on her way to her father’s bedroom for her morning visit when Nesmith stopped her.

  “Emily, your father is in his study this morning.”

  “He is?”

  “Yes. He went down the stairs not too long ago.”

  “Thank you, Nesmith. I’ll go see him now.” Emily bounded down the hall, ecstatic that her father felt well enough to be
out of bed. She knocked on the door and waited.

  “Come in,” Riley said.

  Emily opened the door, and poked her head inside. “Papa, would you like some company?”

  “Yes, please come in. I want to talk to you.”

  Emily felt her insides clench. She believed Papa wanted to talk about Mr. Richardson’s upcoming visit. She steeled herself, and walked in. She kissed him on the cheek. “Papa, it’s so wonderful to see you out of bed. How are you feeling?”

  “Getting stronger every day; nothing for you to worry about.” Riley took his daughter’s hand in his own. “But, I must ask you to do something for me.”

  “Of course, Papa. What do you need?”

  “I want you to go to the ball tomorrow, and put on your prettiest smile for everyone to see.”

  Emily frowned, and shook her head from side-to-side. “No, Papa. I don’t want to go. I want to stay here with you.”

  Riley smiled at his beautiful daughter. “You’re a father’s delight, Emily, but this is something that needs to be done for the family.”

  Emily’s brow creased. “For the family? I don’t understand what you mean?”

  Riley patted his daughter’s hand, and sat back. He took a few deep breaths before continuing. “I know, let me explain. The Stanton name has always stood strong, and it must continue in that manner. If you do not attend the last ball of the season, people will talk, and tongues will start wagging with falsehoods. They will think I’m dying. I do not wish false rumors to be circulated about our absence.”

  Emily leaned forward. “Oh Papa, no one would think you are weak and dying.”

  “Yes, sweetheart, they would. Go to the ball with your mother. It will give me the time I need to regain my strength without those wagging tongues spreading untruths about me.”

  Emily stared at her father. She could not imagine her life without his strong presence. She nodded her head. “I see, Papa. Of course I will go.”

  “That’s good. Now, could you give me some time to tend to the family affairs while I have the energy?”

  Emily got up and kissed her father’s cheek. “Of course. I will visit with you again later.” She slipped out, and closed the door behind her.

  She went in search of her mother, and found her in the sunroom, going over the evening menu. “Mama, have you talked with Papa today?”

  Catherine looked up from her papers. “What dear?”

  “I just saw Papa, and he said we have to go to the ball tomorrow night.”

  Catherine put the menu down, and turned toward her daughter. “Yes, we discussed the matter this morning. He is correct. We must keep up appearances and it will be best if we attend.”

  “But, should he be left alone? I’m worried about him.”

  “The staff is here, and we needn’t stay long. Once we have made our pleasantries, we can slip out and return home.”

  Emily breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good. I do not feel in a dancing mood, especially without Papa there with us.”

  “I know. All will be fine.”

  ***

  Catherine Stanton looked around the ballroom, before turning her attention back to her daughter. “Emily, I shall be no more than one hour. I must speak with Mrs. Richardson.”

  “Yes, Mama. I will be ready to leave whenever you feel best.”

  Catherine kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Go enjoy yourself for a bit. I will find you later.”

  Emily nodded. She made her way into the ballroom, looking for a familiar face, but it was Ethan Richardson who found her first.

  “Miss Stanton, a word please.”

  Emily did not want to talk to Ethan here, but she could hardly be rude to her future husband. She followed him to a secluded corner.

  “I was so very sorry to hear of your father’s recent health issue. How fares he now?” Ethan asked.

  Emily didn’t realize she was holding her breath. She had been so preoccupied with not wanting to talk about her impending engagement that she never gave it a thought that Mr. Richardson would ask about her father. “Oh, Mr. Richardson, how considerate of you to ask after him. I didn’t know word had gotten out about his health.”

  “Have no fear, it is not widely known. I have not spoken of it with anyone, but I can see the worry on your face. It must have been dreadful for you.”

  “You can? Papa asked me to put on my prettiest smile for everyone. He will be disappointed with me if I cannot do as he asked.”

  Ethan chuckled. “Trust me, Miss Stanton; no one will know you are troubled. You cannot help but look your prettiest, no matter what you are thinking.”

  A slight smile curled the corners of her mouth. She was pleasantly surprised by his concern. He really was a kind and considerate man. “Mr. Richardson, how nice of you to say.”

  “It is my pleasure, Miss Stanton. You are my…”

  “Miss Stanton, there you are!” Connor Preston said, interrupting their conversation.

  Emily turned and, as much as she tried hard to control her emotions, her heart skipped a beat. Mr. Preston looked as handsome as ever, and he was giving her his most charming smile. And what a smile it was. Emily was glad that her engagement had not been formally announced yet. She could have one last dance with the man she loved.

  “Mr. Preston, how lovely to see you,” she said.

  “I believe this dance have been reserved for me, Miss Stanton. Are you ready?”

  Emily turned back to Ethan and curtsied. “Mr. Richardson.”

  Ethan bowed. “Miss Stanton.”

  She took Mr. Preston’s proffered arm, and headed out to the dance floor. The dance was announced; the music began; the women curtsied, and the men bowed. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him and, when their hands met, a thrill coursed through her body.

  Connor leaned in toward her. “You will receive a letter tomorrow.”

  Before Emily could respond, they parted once more. When they met again, she tried to tell him about her impending engagement. “Mr. Preston, I must tell you...”

  Connor smiled. “Shhh… let us enjoy our dance together.”

  When the music ended, he escorted her off the floor and over to her mother. “Mrs. Stanton, a pleasure to see you this evening,” he said.

  “Thank you, Mr. Preston. If you will excuse me please, I’d like a word with my daughter.”

  “Of course.” Connor bowed, and left the two women alone.

  “Emily, I know we said we would stay an hour, but I want to leave now. I’m happy you had an opportunity to dance.”

  “I am, too, Mama. I am too.” She cast a glance over her shoulder, and had one last glimpse of Mr. Preston before they headed out in the cool, night air for the coach ride home.

  Chapter 12

  The next day, Emily sat in the sunroom trying to concentrate on her embroidery, but her mind was racing. Mr. Preston had said he would send his letter today, but it was too late.

  Why did you wait so long? I cannot accept your proposal now. I have promised to marry another.

  Mrs. Jannell walked into the sunroom. “Miss Stanton, a letter has been delivered for you.”

  Emily jumped up and took the letter from the housekeeper’s outstretched hand. She tore open the letter, and scanned it quickly. The color drained out of her face and she staggered backwards.

  “Miss Emily, what is it? Are you ill?” Mrs. Jannell asked.

  Emily shook her head no, but she couldn’t believe what she was reading. She had been so sure that Mr. Preston would offer a marriage proposal to her, but she was wrong, so very wrong. The letter she held in her hand was the announcement of his engagement to Miss Elizabeth Curry. Silent tears rolled down her face. She crumpled the letter in her fist, and ran out of the room.

  Emily burst into her bedroom, and closed the door behind her. She slumped down on the bed. She could hardly breathe; the hurt inside her was so great. She smoothed the paper, and read the letter again. Mr. Preston was marrying another. What a fool she had been. The k
iss he stole were just that, a stolen kiss. They meant nothing to him. Nesmith was right. How could she have been so wrong? And what about his letters? Why would he write love letters to her if he didn’t love her?

  A knock on the door snapped Emily out of her reverie. She quickly wiped her eyes. She folded the letter, and put it in her pocket. “Yes, come in.”

  Nesmith entered. “Mrs. Jannell has shown Mr. Richardson into the parlor. Will you meet with him?”

  Emily took a deep breath. “Yes, of course; tell him I shall be there momentarily.”

  ***

  Emily stood silently at the altar. The minister was reciting words, but she couldn’t concentrate on them. She glanced at her parents. They looked so happy. Her father had regained most of his strength, and sat there beaming at her. She wished she felt the same. The minister stopped talking. She turned back to Mr. Richardson and responded. “I will.”

  Ethan slipped the gold band onto her finger, and gave her a shy smile.

  After the ceremony, the couple followed the minister into the vestry to sign their names in the parish registry. It would be the last time Emily signed the name “Stanton.”

  Ethan offered his arm to his new bride. “Are you ready, Mrs. Richardson?”

  Emily placed her hand on her husband’s arm. She flashed him a smile, but it did not reach her eyes. “Yes, of course, Mr. Richardson.”

  Ethan and Emily climbed into the coach waiting outside, and headed back to the Stanton home for the wedding breakfast.

  Ethan held her hand. “You look stunningly beautiful today. I am honored that you are my wife.”

  “Thank you,” Emily replied, and continued to stare out of the window.

  Ethan tried to initiate more conversation. “I hope that you will find my home to your liking. Your suite has been decorated in your favorite color of blue. If it is not pleasing to you, you may change it.”

  “I’m sure it will be lovely,” she murmured.

  The rest of the day, and the coach ride to the Richardson country estate, passed in a blur for Emily until they pulled up to the home. She could hardly believe that she was now the mistress of the grand, ancestral home.