A Will To Change (Hope)

by Beth Rinyu

  “Mmm, hmmm. I bet you did!” She smirked as she smothered her burger in ketchup and relish. “Geez, Gabby. Why don’t you have some burger with your ketchup and relish?”

  “I love ketchup!” she said, licking it off her fingers.

  “I can see that!”

  “Don’t you?” she asked, opening her mouth wide and taking a bite.

  “Yeah, but not half the bottle. Definitely not relish, though.”

  “Mmmm….you don’t know what you’re missing!” she said, taking another huge bite. “Here, taste.” She held the burger up to my mouth.

  “Gabby, it’s drenched in -.”

  “Come on, Will. Don’t be afraid to try new things.” I opened my mouth and took a bite. It wasn’t half bad. “Not bad, is it?” she asked with her adorable grin as she picked up the napkin and wiped the ketchup off my face.

  I took the top bun from my burger. “Lay it on me, Gabby girl!”

  She held her hand up to give me a high five before picking up the bottle of relish and ketchup. “Woohoo! Sister Gabby has made you see the error of your ways. Bless you, Will,” she giggled.

  She squirted on the ketchup and relish, and lifted her burger up to her mouth. “Come on, Will. Let’s do it together,” she teased in an overly sexy voice.

  “You are a piece of work, you know that?” I chuckled.

  She took a bite of her burger at the same time as me. I never thought that someone could actually look adorable chewing food, but Gabby proved that theory wrong. She swallowed it down and took a sip of her milkshake. “Was it good for you?” she asked. Neither one of us were able to control our laughter. It didn’t get any better than being here with her.

  After lunch, we took advantage of the beautiful September day. Will used his “connections” to get us past security and into the Pratt Sculpture Garden. The beautiful grounds and the chirping birds made me feel like the hustle and bustle of the city and my mess of a life was a million miles away. Afterwards, Will talked me into going back to watch a movie at his place. We were just sitting down to pick something on Netflix when his doorbell buzzed. “Ah fuck,” he whispered as he got up and looked out the peep hole.

  “What's the matter?” I asked.

  “Remember that chick, Delia, that you helped get out of my hospital room?” He titled his head to the door, indicating that she was on the other side.

  “Oh, Will, you are so popular,” I giggled.

  “She's like a fuckin’ stalker.”

  “Would you like Sister Gabby to handle this situation?”

  “Go for it!” he said before opening the door.

  “Hey, handsome. Welcome home!” She wrapped her arms around his neck and wasted no time getting her lips on his. I quickly removed my grandmother’s engagement ring from my right hand and put it on my left while she was distracted with her tongue down his throat.

  Abruptly, he pushed her away. “What's your problem, Will?” He looked over at me on the couch. She slowly turned her head in my direction and narrowed her eyes.

  “Hi there!” I said, waving at her and plastering a huge smile on my face.

  “Oh, I see she makes house calls,” she said, sarcastically.

  “And I see that you do, as well.” I just couldn't resist.

  “If you’re done, Will and I would really like some privacy.”

  “Umm, no. Gabby isn't going anywhere. She was invited over,” Will interrupted.

  “What are you talking about, Will? Don't even tell me -.”

  “Will, just tell her and get it over with,” I said.

  “Tell me what?” she demanded.

  He looked totally perplexed, obviously not knowing where I was going with this. I stood up and wrapped my arms around him. “Will and I are in love and we're engaged.” I held my hand out to her, proudly displaying my grandmother’s engagement ring. I grabbed on to him tighter as he tried to hold back his laughter.

  “What?! Oh, that is total bullshit! Will doesn't fall in love with anyone. And you've only known him for what? A month?”

  “As much as it pains me to think of Will with another woman, I'm fairly certain that you've seen the beautiful package that he's got going on down there. Well, imagine having to look at that while you're helping him shower and not being able to do anything with it. Last night, we finally gave in to a long month of sexual tension and he proposed right after. It was so wonderful, wasn’t it, sweetie?” I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.

  “Will, is this true?”

  He nodded.

  “You’re really getting married?” She looked shocked.

  “Yeah, I am. I love Gabby.” He pulled me close and kissed me on the head as she stood there, speechless.

  “So there you have it. I love him and he loves me so, out of respect for our impending marriage, could you please just leave us alone and allow us to start our life together?”

  She stared at us for a little longer. “Well, I never thought I'd see the day. You know that he’s not husband material.”

  “And you should be an expert on that because you are such a great wife,” Will snapped.

  “I have all the faith in the world in my sweet little Willy. Well, actually, not little. I can hardly walk after last night.” I looked up at Will as he held in his smirk.

  “Well, I'm glad somebody has faith in him,” she said, looking at Will one last time before turning around and storming out the door.

  “You are fuckin’ awesome!” Will said, giving me a high five.

  “I know!”

  “You could be an award winning actress. Thank you, Gabby girl.”

  “Don't thank me. Thank my grandmother,” I said, placing the ring back on its proper finger. “Just a friendly little question. Do you ever stop to think of the repercussions of sleeping with these women?”

  “Now why would I do something like that?” He smirked. “Hey, Gabby, if you liked what you saw down there, you could have come out and told me sooner.”

  I shook my head and spewed with laughter. “I’m an award winning actress, remember?”

  “Yeah, whatever you say.” Clearly my acting skills were lacking at the moment because I was pretty sure that he knew exactly what I was thinking. I loved what I had seen down there.

  Two movies and some Chinese food later, and I was shocked to see that it was already after ten. “Well, I better get going. I have that long commute over the bridge,” I teased.

  “I'll drive you home,” he said.

  “Oh no -.”

  “Will you just shut up?! I'm driving you home. It’s not up for debate.”

  “Okay, fine.” I smiled.

  He got up and grabbed his keys. “Your boyfriend isn't going to get pissed, is he?”

  I looked away. I was having such a nice time that I hadn't even thought of Evan and my mess of a life all day. “Actually, he's not my boyfriend anymore. Just a roommate until I can find a place of my own.” I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. I hated myself for having to suck it up and be in the situation that I was in.

  Will placed his hand on my shoulder and tipped my chin up so I was looking right into his eyes. “Hey, why are you crying?”

  I quickly wiped my eyes before any tears could fall, trying desperately to pull it together. “I'm not.” I tried playing if off, but I knew he wasn't buying it. “I'm okay. Really.” I forced a smile.

  “Gabby, if you need anything, you know -.”

  “I know and thanks.” I quickly cut him off, hoping to get off the topic. He looked at me sadly. “I had a lot of fun today.” I smiled.

  “Yeah. Me, too. Hey, I got an idea.”

  “Oh boy. That could be dangerous,” I joked.

  “Since I'm down to changing this dressing once a week, how about I hire you as my private nurse? I'll pay you with burgers with lots of ketchup and relish.”

  I giggled. “You don't have to pay me with anything, Will. I will gladly come over and help you. It's nice to have someone to hang out with.�
��

  “Thanks, Gabby girl.” I didn't know why, but every now and then, my heart would race when he flashed me that beautiful smile. At that particular moment, my heart was beating at warp speed.

  The weeks passed. Before I knew it, I was released from physical therapy and, thankfully, back to work. Besides the suspected scarring, my arm was healing nicely. I still made a point of hanging out with Gabby, sometimes more than once a week. There was just something about her. I had so much fun when I was with her. It was like hanging out with one of the guys, except she was a lot nicer to look at. I felt like I could talk to her about anything and she wouldn't be offended. She still hadn't cracked and told me about what was going on with her home life, except that she was adamantly looking for an apartment in her price range. I made sure that I kept a close eye on her every time I would see her, making sure there weren’t any physical marks on her to indicate what I had suspected.

  Yesterday was her birthday and I felt really bad when she told me that she didn't have any plans. I ended up taking her out to lunch and surprised her with flowers that I had actually gone to the florist myself and picked out…with just a little help from the florist. When I saw the look on her face and how much it meant to her, I was really glad that I did. Basically, she had no one. Her mother couldn't be bothered with her, her dad was dead, and she didn’t have any siblings. As much as I complained about my family, I knew that I always had my mom and my brother and, as much as it pained me to admit, my father. I couldn't imagine having no one. Yet, she always seemed so happy with her quick wit and beautiful smile, but part of me wondered if that was just a façade to mask what was really going on inside her heart. I hated to think that she was hurting in any way. I was hoping that she would feel comfortable enough one day to open up to me and let me know.

  I had just gotten home from work and was waiting for Janelle to come over. I needed to get some really bad and since I knew she was always up for that, it was a win-win. As long as I didn't put any movies on that would encourage her to sing and I could think of an excuse to get her out of here right after, everything would be perfect.

  I sent Gabby a quick text before heading into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

  Did you kill your flowers yet?

  She had joked around yesterday when we were out at lunch that she could kill a cactus. I was just getting ready to get into the shower when my phone beeped.

  Nope, not yet! But I'm babying them. Thanks again for everything yesterday. It really meant a lot to me.

  No prob, Gabby girl. Have a great night.

  You, too.

  I put my phone down. Suddenly, my physical wants were overpowered by my emotional ones and I was finding that I would much rather be hanging out with Gabby watching TV than getting laid. This was so not like me. I jumped in the shower trying to shake off those feelings. After about twenty-five minutes of standing under the running water and trying to chase away my thoughts, I finally decided to get out, wrapping the towel around my waist. I grabbed my phone to find a missed call from my mother. As I dialed and waited for her voicemail to play, I was praying that it wasn’t anything that would warrant a return phone call. “Will, I'm just calling to see if you're still alive, and to see what your plans are for Thanksgiving. If you're not working, it would be really nice for you to spend it with your family. Call me.”

  I looked at the date on my phone. Was she fuckin’ serious? It was only October 5th. Why the hell was she worried about Thanksgiving when it was well over a month away? I threw on some clothes just as my doorbell was buzzing.

  “Hey, baby!” Janelle exclaimed as I opened the door.

  I looked down at the plastic bag strung around her arm and the DVD in her hand. “What's that?”

  “Oh, I stopped at the deli and got us some sandwiches. And look. Dirty Dancing!” She happily held the movie up in the air.

  “Well, actually, I don't know if I have time for a movie because I may have to go back into work, and I'm not hungry for food.” I closed the door and pushed her up against the wall, immediately placing my hands up her shirt as I kissed her.

  “Will,” she whined. “There's plenty of time for that after.”

  “After what?”

  “After the movie, silly!”

  Did she really think that her pussy was worth wasting an hour-and-a-half of my life listening to her sing?

  “Janelle, I told you that I might get called back into work.”

  “Well, that's just a chance we're going to have to take,” she said, rubbing her hand along my cheek. “Now, where are the plates?” she asked as she walked into the kitchen.

  I sighed heavily and pointed to the cabinet.

  After twenty minutes of pure torture, I decided it was time to make my move. I moved in closer and kissed her, lifting her shirt over her head and unbuttoning her pants.

  “Wait, wait, wait! This is my favorite part!” She suddenly stopped kissing me and focused on the TV. Damn it, Janelle! Why didn’t she get it? I don’t hang out with women for anything other than sex. There was only one exception to that…my sweet little Gabby girl. I threw my head back on the couch, trying to figure out which was worse…my case of blue balls, or the chick flick on my television.

  I stepped out of the shower and changed into my sweats, planning a nice quiet evening in front of the television. Evan had been away on business for the past three days, and from what I had gathered from listening to parts of his phone conversations, he wasn't due home until tomorrow. As I cracked the bathroom door to let some of the steam escape, I heard a noise coming from the kitchen. My mind began to wander. Did I lock the door? I could have sworn that I did. When I heard it again, there was no doubt that there was someone out there. I looked around for my phone, remembering that I had left it on the kitchen counter when Will had texted me earlier. Shit, Gabby, think! What are you going to do? I slipped on my flip flops so I would at least have shoes on my feet in case I needed to make a quick getaway. I scoured the bathroom for a weapon, but the only thing I could find was the can of air freshener. If worse came to worse, I would spray it in their eyes and make a run for it.

  I slowly inched my way out of the bathroom, trying to get to the front door so I could at least get to my neighbor's apartment and call the police. My stomach dropped when I saw movement coming from the kitchen. Relief and dread spread over me when I realized that it was Evan. Once I saw the glassiness in his eyes and the stagger in his stance, I was thinking I would have been better off taking my chances with an intruder.

  “Who the fuck is Will?” he said as he read over my messages on my phone. His words were almost incoherent. He was totally wasted.

  “None of your business. Give me my phone back.” I was surprised when he gave it up without a fight.

  “Are these your special flowers, Gabby?” he asked, walking over to the vase on the counter.

  I didn't answer. I just glared at him with pure hatred. He lifted his arm and swept it across the counter as the vase came crashing down on the ceramic tile floor, shattering in a million pieces. I bent over to try and salvage my flowers, but it was too late. He stomped on every single one, flattening them like a pancake.

  “You are such a bastard,” I said, instantly regretting my words. Unfortunately, I knew what he was capable of doing when he was drunk. He yanked my hair and pulled me up, grabbing my neck and pushing me up against the wall. He pressed his thumbs into the sides of my neck and panic started setting in as I was finding it hard to breathe.

  “Well, maybe I wouldn't be such a bastard if you weren't such a slut.”

  I knew I had to do something to break free. I lifted my knee and he quickly removed his hands to protect himself from what he knew was coming, not allowing it to have the effect that I was hoping it would. I broke free and tried to get out the front door, but I wasn’t quick enough. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back. “You are nothing but a piece of garbage, and that's all you ever were. My parents were right about you.” I turned my he
ad, unable to look at him. “Look at me when I talk to you, fuckin’ bitch!” he shouted as his fist met my face. I fell to the floor, cowering down and covering my head. I was shaking uncontrollably, trying to halt the pain. I sat on the kitchen floor, hysterically crying, hoping that this was it and he would just walk away. I never thought of myself as anyone's punching bag and always stood up for myself, but Evan was well over six feet and I was just a little over five so there was no competition.

  When I heard the bedroom door slam, I quickly got up, grabbing my purse and my phone. Not knowing where I was headed, I ran out of the apartment. I knew anywhere was better than there. My face radiated with pain and I could already feel it swelling. I stepped out onto the sidewalk, feeling totally distraught as I finally flagged down a taxi.

  “Where to?” the driver asked, looking in his review mirror. He quickly turned around at the sight of my face. “Miss, are you okay?”

  I nodded as the tears rolled down my face. I didn't know where to tell him to take me because, the truth was, I had nowhere to go. Rochelle was working and I really didn't want everyone at work knowing anyway. I contemplated for one brief second at giving him my mother's address, then stopped myself. “Do you need me to take you to the hospital?” I shook my head and quickly rambled off the address of the one person that I knew would be there for me - Will.

  My eye was swollen shut by the time I arrived at Will’s. I paid the driver and made my way up to the second floor, realizing that I should have called him first. I wasn’t even sure if he was home. If he wasn’t, what the heck was I going to do? I was just so tired and I hurt so bad, all I wanted to do was sleep. I took a deep breath before pressing the buzzer on his door. I was so thankful when I heard footsteps on the other side. I tried my best to stop my tears when Will opened the door and immediately focused on my eye.

  “Holy shit, Gabby! What the fuck happened?!” He immediately turned around and my good eye focused to the half-naked girl sitting on his couch. “Janelle, you need to leave!” he demanded.