A Will To Change (Hope)

by Beth Rinyu

“Where…where are you going?” Her voice quivered with emotion.

  “I have to go back.”

  She shook her head and tears gushed from her eyes. “Don't leave me! Please don't leave me!” she screamed.

  “She's in shock. She'll be okay. Just go,” the police officer said.

  I rubbed my thumb along the side of her soot-covered face and caught one of her tears. “You're gonna be okay now. She's gonna help get you in touch with your mom, and you'll get to go home and see your dog.”

  “No! Please don’t go!” Her words were barely audible as she tried to catch her breath between sobs, grabbing onto my arm.

  “Come on, honey,” the police officer said, gently prying her off my arm before wrapping the girl’s arm around her neck as she struggled to keep her balance. I stood there for a moment as she continued to cry, knowing that I owed her everything. I may have saved her life, but she saved mine, too. She lifted her head and our eyes locked one last time before she limped away.

  Her eyes were deep brown, the same color as Gabby's. She was tiny, just like Gabby, and seventeen-years-old, the same age Gabby would have been back then. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be her. That girl’s name was Bree. A name I remembered all these years later. I stared at her, remembering the strange connection that I felt to her when she walked into my hospital room for the first time that day.

  She gazed up at me and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. “Will, are you okay?” she asked. I just stared at her, unable to speak, trying my hardest to remember that girl’s face. “Will? What’s wrong?” she asked, taking my hand in hers.

  There was a long silence before that name finally escaped my lips. “Bree?” Her eyes widened and she swallowed hard. The look on her face told me everything I already knew. “You were seventeen. You had a broken leg and all you wanted to do was get home to your Golden Retriever, Zach.”

  She was silent and shook her head in disbelief. “No… How did you…?” She covered her mouth as tears rolled down her face once again. “Oh, my god. It was you?!” She was trembling. I couldn’t answer. For the first time in my life, I was speechless. I bit my lip, trying to stop the emotion that was building up inside of me. “Will!” She threw her arms around me and totally broke down. Her entire body was shaking. I finally snapped out of it and pulled her closer. “You don’t know how many times I wanted to find out who you were and thank you for saving me!”

  I kissed her on the top of her head. “My Gabby girl, I knew there was something about you from the minute you walked into my hospital room.” I squeezed her tightly. She rested her head on my chest, letting out a sob every now and then. I rubbed her back, trying my hardest to overcome by own shock and calm her down. “Why did your dad call you Bree?” I asked, moving her hair from her face.

  “That was his nickname for me. He wanted to name me Brielle and my mom insisted on Gabby so they settled on Gabrielle.”

  “You know, Gabby, you are the one and only memory I kept from that horrible day. I always remembered that name, the look in your dad’s eyes, everything about you. Because if it weren’t for you, my name would be etched on this memorial.”

  She broke down into tears once again and tried to catch her breath. “And if it weren’t for you, mine would be, too. We saved each other, Will.” She looked up at me through her swollen eyes. “I love you so much.”

  I pushed her hair from her face and stared into her tear-filled eyes. “I love you, too, Gabby.” Time seemed to stop as we stood there hugging each other, ignoring everyone else around us.

  “Hey,” I whispered in her ear. She looked up at me and wiped away the last of her tears. “I was going to wait until later for this, but now seems like the perfect time.” She shook her head in confusion. “Gabby?” I cleared my throat, trying to calm my nerves. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life. You are so damn special to me. You always were. Even before I really got to know you, I knew there was something different about you.” She bit her lip, trying to hold back her smile. I was pretty sure she knew what was coming as I reached into my pocket and pulled out the box.

  “Oh, my god!” she whispered, no longer able to contain her happiness. Her eyes widened when I lifted the lid. She covered her mouth with her hand and let out a gasp.

  “Are you going to make me get down on one knee in front of all of these people?” She shook her head and giggled. “Will you marry me?”

  “Yes, yes, yes!” She took my face in her hands and kissed me deeply.

  “Yes, what?”

  “Yes, you ass. I will marry you!”

  “That’s my girl.” I smiled as I slid the ring on her trembling finger.

  She hugged me tightly and I lifted her off the ground. “I’m so happy,” she whispered.

  “So am I, Gabby girl. So am I.”

  “Excuse me.” I removed myself from Gabby’s embrace and turned my attention to the older man that had just approached us. “My name is Fred Carson. I’m with the New York Daily News.” He extended his hand. “I was actually here doing an article on the memorial, and I happened to notice the two of you. Did you just get engaged?”

  Gabby’s grin was a mile wide. “Yup, we did!”

  “Well, would you mind sharing your story with me? I mean, why did you get engaged here? Does it have some significance to the two of you? It would work really well into the article that I’m doing, ‘Finding peace years after nine-eleven’.”

  “Well, Mr. Carson, today is your lucky day because, boy, do we have a story for you!” Gabby smiled.

  I walked out of the little Italian market just up the street from Will’s apartment with a bag full of groceries in my arms and a smile on my face. I planned on cooking him a nice romantic dinner. We had been engaged for a whole week and I was still walking on a cloud. I have to admit that even I was a little hesitant about pulling off a wedding in three months, but I felt compelled to marry him on September 11th. I wanted to be able to look back on that day and see something happy about it, instead of the despair that it would always bring to my heart. Mr. Carson had written the most beautiful article that had run in yesterday's paper. I had read it so many times that I felt like I could repeat it verbatim. Each time I thought about it, I was moved to tears. I had never been a big believer in fate, but now I felt as if I was the poster child.

  I was just rounding the corner when I saw my mother standing outside of her chauffeur-driven car. My stomach dropped and I instantly felt myself floating far away from that cloud of happiness that I was just on. Her posture stiffened as I inched closer, and a nervous smile stretched across her face. “That was a lovely article in yesterday's paper. Congratulations.”

  “I have nothing to say to you!” I snapped.

  “Gabby, please!”

  “No! You are not going to do this! You are not going to take away my happiness!”

  “That's not what I'm trying to do, Gabby.”

  “Then why are you here? How did you even know where I lived?”

  “Your stepfather has ways of finding things out.”

  “He's not my stepfather!” I snapped. “He's your husband. Well, I could have saved you the trip. Hollywood hasn’t called for the movie rights but, if they do, I will make sure that the appropriate actress plays you!”

  “Gabby, please stop!” she pleaded as tears rolled down her face. “You are my one and only child. I want to be part of your day.”

  I shook my head. I wasn’t going to fall into this trap again. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… It’s not gonna happen.” I turned and started walking up the stairs before turning back around and inching closer to her. “I am so happy. So ridiculously happy with my life right now. I am marrying a man that I love more than life itself. A man that makes me smile just thinking about him. A man that I would die for and I know would do the same for me. It’s the best feeling in the entire world. And I am so sorry that you never got to experience that with my father, I really am. And I am so so
rry for being the reason that you were never able to find someone else to experience it with.”

  She shook her head as she wiped away her tears. “That’s not true, Gabby.”

  “But it’s not my fault, Mom. You chose to have me. You chose to stay with my father in a marriage that you didn’t want to be in. You chose to make me feel like I was nothing but a cramp in your style. For the first time in my life since Daddy passed away, I’m happy and I will not let you take that happiness from me.” I quickly walked up the steps and had my hand on the door, trying my hardest to hold back my tears.

  “I love you, Gabby, and I'm so sorry for the way I treated you and the things I've done. I don't expect you to believe me, but it's the truth. I know you’re hurting and I wish I could go back and undo every wrong, but I can't. I can only do right going forward.”

  I took a deep breath. “If you want to do right, then just leave me alone. Pretend that I was never even born. That really shouldn't be too hard for you to do. After all, it's what you've wished for your whole life.”

  She shook her head and began to cry even harder. I quickly walked inside and ran up the stairs to my apartment. I immediately focused on the task at hand - cooking dinner for Will. She wasn't going to do this to me. I wasn't going to feel sorry for her. I bit my lip, fighting off the tears as I prepared the chicken. I took a deep breath, trying my hardest to pull it together, when I heard the apartment door open and Will entering.

  He walked into the kitchen and stood behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as I diced the mushrooms. “What's up, Gabby girl?” he asked, lifting my hair and kissing me on the neck.

  I turned around and hugged him tightly, letting the waterfall of tears that I was holding back flow freely. “Hey, what's the matter?” he asked as he gently wiped the tears away. I told him all about my mother's visit, stopping every few seconds to catch my breath through my sobs.

  “Gabby, we don't have to do this whole wedding thing. If you just want to go away and get married, just me and you, I'm perfectly fine with that.”

  “No, she's not going to do this to me, Will. I want a wedding. It’s something that I've dreamed about since I was a little girl. I'm not going to let her take that away from me.”

  “Okay. I just don't want it to be hard on you.”

  “I just…” I sighed deeply. “I just need to come to terms that she's not going to be part of it. I always dreamed of having my dad walking me down the aisle, my mom helping me plan every last detail. But now it’s just going to be a little different. The only thing that matters is that I’m marrying you. Everything else is insignificant.”

  He kissed me on the top of my head and hugged me tightly. “I love you, Gabby, and I just don’t want to see you get upset over something that you should be happy about.”

  “I’m not letting her take my happiness away. In a little less than three months, I’m going to be your wife. Nothing makes me happier than that thought. Does it make you a little nervous?” I grinned.

  He shook his head and smiled. “Hell, no! I’d marry you right this second if you’d let me.”

  “Well, I would, but I don’t think your mom and Hope would be too happy. They’re having too much fun with helping me plan this,” I giggled.

  He sighed. “Well, then, I guess I’ll just have to wait.”

  “I’ll be worth it. I promise.”

  “There’s no doubt in my mind that you will be.” He leaned down and kissed me. Just feeling his lips on mine put all my troubles to rest. He was my life, my entire world. Our wedding day was going to be about us and the special love that we shared. I was going to be marrying my soul mate, my best friend, my angel, and nothing else beyond that mattered.

  In exactly nine days, Gabby was going to be my wife. I didn’t think she would be able to pull it off in just three months, but she did. She wasn't stressed, and took everything in stride. The fact that she had my mother and Hope helping her helped a lot. I gave my opinion only when necessary. This was her day, even though she said it was our day. I wanted it to be all about her and everything that she had ever dreamed of. The only thing I cared about was our honeymoon to Barbados. Having Gabby all to myself for seven whole days was more important to me than what kind of food to have, what kind of flowers, or who was sitting with whom. All of that was insignificant to me. The selfish part of me wished that we could just get married while we were away, but I knew that would devastate my mother so that wasn’t an option. I could see the pain in Gabby's eyes the few times she had brought up the fact that her aunt and uncle were the only two people from her family that would be attending. I wanted to be able to take that pain away for her, but I knew that was a choice only she could make. Even through her adamant protests about not wanting her mother there, I still heard doubt in her voice. This was yet another reason why I just wanted to go away and get married, but Gabby assured me that she was okay with it.

  I was just coming off a long twenty-four hour shift and couldn’t wait to get some sleep, but seeing Gabby in the bathroom with her face covered in Noxzema and her toothbrush in her mouth suddenly woke up my best friend down below. I quietly stood in the bathroom door, staring at her. “Good morning, beautiful girl,” I whispered.

  I startled her as she lifted her head from the bathroom sink. “Wow, you must really be sleep deprived,” she said, splashing some water on her face. She spit out her toothpaste and threw her arms around my neck. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist as I carried her into the bedroom.

  “The smell of Noxzema turns me on,” I joked.

  “Everything turns you on!”

  “Everything about you, baby!”

  “I missed you,” she whispered softly in my ear, trailing tiny kisses down my neck.

  “Oh, yeah?”

  She looked over at the clock. “I have to be out the door in exactly forty-five minutes to meet your mom and Hope for my final fitting.”

  “Well, then, let’s get to it!”

  My smile grew wider when she began to unbutton my pants. “A little help!” she teased as she struggled with the zipper. I pulled it down with ease and she gave them an extra hard tug as they dropped to the floor. I kicked off my shoes before I stepped out of them. She kissed me hard while her fingers skimmed the elastic on my boxers, slowly reaching underneath and stroking my dick that was already so hard for her.

  “Gabby, I need to fuck you bad. In fact, I think I’m gonna die if I don’t.”

  She looked up at me and laughed. “Well, what are you waiting for?”

  She lifted her nightshirt over her head, took off her underwear, and quickly removed my boxers. She pushed me down on the bed and climbed on top of me. As she leaned down, I circled her hardened nipple with my tongue. I watched as she buried me deep inside of her, placing my hands on her ass as she moved up and down. I was getting even more turned on when she threw her head back and closed her eyes. I moved my hands to her hips and guided her movements. Oh fuck, I was almost there. Gabby always managed to turn my stamina into a sixteen-year-old boy’s. “Oh, my god, Gabby.” I quickly rolled her on her back and hovered over her and began moving in and out of her, making her scream for more. “I want you to be wishing that I was inside of you all day.”

  “Too late. That’s what I wish for every day.” I began to move quicker and harder, and I felt my insides beginning to come undone. I was so glad when I felt her body tighten up around me because I couldn’t hold back anymore, finding my own release at the same time as her.

  I hugged her tightly while I caught my breath. “Cancel your dress thing. I want you to stay in bed with me all day.”

  “I can’t cancel it, silly. I have to make sure that it fits so I can look absolutely perfect for you,” she said, placing tiny little kisses down my chest.

  I rolled over on my back and pulled her on top of me. “Gabby, I don’t care what the fuck you wear. All I care about is marrying you.”

  “Well, I do. And since I basically have no one f
rom my family coming, I have to look good for someone so it may as well be you.”

  I pushed her hair from her face and looked up at the sadness in her eyes. “Gabby, you know you could still invite her, if you want.”

  She quickly shook her head. “Nah. Besides, how big of a loser would I be, inviting my mom to my wedding and actually having her not show up? It’s better this way.” She sighed and forced a smile. “Now, I have to go jump in the shower really quick!” She placed her lips on mine and stuck her tongue in my mouth, turning me on once again.

  “Gabby, if you want to get out of here on time, I suggest you get out of this bed now and get into the shower because I’m feeling like I could go another round.”

  She kissed me on the forehead and quickly jumped out of bed. “Hey,” she screeched when I playfully smacked her bare ass. “Don’t make me jump back in that bed and get you all hot and bothered again.”

  “Bring it on, Gabby girl, but you won’t be gettin’ back out.” She gathered up her clothes and went into the bathroom.

  No matter how much she denied it, I knew that her mom not being at the wedding was bothering her. The look in her eyes just a few minutes ago confirmed it. I understood where she was coming from. If she did invite her and she didn’t show, Gabby would be totally crushed and that was the last thing I wanted to happen, especially on our wedding day. But if Gabby didn’t know that she was invited, then she wouldn’t be upset if she didn’t show up. I listened closely to make sure that the water was still running before reaching over and grabbing Gabby’s phone from her nightstand. I went through her contacts, stopping when I got to her mother. I hurried up and wrote down the address. Now I just needed to find out what the fuck her mother’s last name was. I texted one of my buddies in the PD and asked him if he could get me a last name.

  “You’re still awake?” Gabby asked as she got out of the shower.

  “Yeah. Hey, do you have any extra invitations?”

  “Yeah, why?” she asked, pulling her shirt over her head.