Time for Raine

by C. Barry Denham

  “Well, at any rate,” another woman said and looked at Raine, “you should have her tested. There’s a doctor—a Dr. Victor, Nancy…no, Nell, Noelle! Yes, Dr. Noelle Victor has a practice in downtown Pensacola, on Palafox Street, I believe. She specializes in gifted children. I hear she’s very good and worth the money and the drive. I don’t think I’m stepping on any toes by saying that developmentally, that little girl of yours is head and shoulders above our guys and other children in her age group as well.”

  The group of ladies echoed agreement.

  Sean looked at Raine and then back to the ladies. “Well, it looks like my little one is emerging from her shyness. Looks like she’s made a few friends today. Really glad to see that.”

  “Like daughter, like father,” one of the ladies said.

  Sean smiled and tipped his cap. “Touché.”

  He wanted answers. He had certainly gotten them. Dr. Victor was the consensus choice.

  But were they the answers he wanted to hear?

  ****

  Sean hosed down a squealing little girl on the back patio, wrapped her in a towel, and shuffled her inside. His land line rang as he scooted her off to her bedroom to get dressed. He reached inside the refrigerator for a bottle of water before picking up the phone. The digital display indicated the call was from Derek.

  “Hey, buddy, how goes it?” He took a long pull on the water.

  “If I were any better, I couldn’t stand myself.”

  He smiled. Derek was never one for any lack of self-confidence. “You really need to work on that self-deprecating monologue, my friend. You’re going to give me a complex.”

  “Never claimed to be anybody other than the great person I am. How goes it with you? Haven’t heard from you in a while.”

  “You mean still no work out of me, right?”

  “Hey, you know that’s not me. I love you, man. I figure you’ll hit it again when the time’s right. Someday you’re gonna get tired of carrying that cloud around, and you’ll ditch it and let the sun back in. Hey, that wasn’t bad. I give you full permission to use that line in your next book. And I’m confident you’ve got quite a few more bestsellers in you, buddy. You’ll cough ’em up when you’re ready. As for your publisher, you let me worry about them for now.”

  “Yeah, the writing’s easier said than done, pal. Hey, nobody wants another bestseller more than me. But the thing is, it’s hard to write with the inspiration gone.”

  And most of the money. But that was another issue. He couldn’t believe how fast the money was dwindling.

  “Life goes on, as they say,” Derek said. “It has been two years, my man.”

  “And every day still hurts like the day I lost her.”

  “I understand, I really do. But you have to be feeling the pinch in the ol’ pocketbook by now, man.”

  “I’m fine.” He wished he could convince himself and his agent otherwise.

  Raine skipped into the room with red shorts and an orange tee that was on inside-out. She circled him, hopping and skipping. He jammed the receiver against his shoulder, caught her, peeled the T-shirt off, and put it on correctly, but ignored the clashing colors.

  She cast her eyes downward, in that familiar resignation, and became very quiet. “Did I pick the wrong clothes, Daddy?”

  Sometimes Sean forgot how sensitive she was. “No, no, sweetheart, you did just fine. I love what you picked out. You’re getting so big to pick out your own clothes. I’m proud of you. Hey, wanna talk to Uncle Derek?”

  “Yeah!” Her eyes lit up as she held the receiver to her ear. It dwarfed her small hand. “Hey, Uncle Derek.”

  He could hear Derek’s muffled response, but couldn’t decipher his words.

  “We went to the beach today…yeah…yeah…Oh, and Daddy talked to a bunch of ladies.”

  Another few seconds of muffled comments from Derek.

  “I gotta go pee.” She had an urgent look on her face and handed the phone back to him. Derek let out an audible laugh.

  “Okay, sweetie.” He put her down. “Off you go. And don’t forget to wipe!”

  He raised the receiver back to his ear.

  “You see, big man? You should be more like that little daughter of yours. Tell it like it is, I always say.”

  “Yeah, well. You have no idea. You should have heard what she said to a lady at the grocery store yesterday.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Took one look at the unsuspecting woman’s backside and was nice enough to tell her the margarine she was looking at had four more grams of fat per serving than another brand.”

  “Jeez,” his friend said and laughed. “Where’d she get that? More importantly, what’d you do?”

  “I just smiled, grabbed Raine, and got the hell out of there. It looked like the woman was thinking about throwing something.”

  “I can imagine. So what was the deal with the ladies on the beach?”

  Sean briefly described his new acquaintances, but his friend zeroed in. He decided he would wait before telling him about the doctor, and his purpose for going to the beach.

  “Of all the luck. So, break it to me gently, were there any in the group that weren’t hot? Sounds like you had the pick of the litter. The sole man in a flock of bikinis? Where the hell are these babes when I’m at the beach?”

  “Hiding?”

  “Very funny, jerk wad. So did you see anything you liked?”

  “It wasn’t an auction, buddy.” He wanted to say he had seen someone he liked, but she wasn’t at the beach. He turned serious. “No, I’m not—I don’t—”

  “You’re not what, man? You’re not ‘ready’? You don’t ‘deserve’ it? Which one is it?”

  The same old conversation was evolving, and Sean didn’t want to feed it.

  “Look, I understand,” Derek said, lowering his voice. “I really do.”

  “No, you don’t.” Sean glanced around to make sure he was alone. Raine was in her room singing. “You don’t have any idea how I feel.”

  “Maybe not, man. And I do know you’re hurting still, but I know for some reason you think you’re to blame for Patty’s death. Buddy, you know I love you, but jeez, you spend your days like a monk, scared out of your mind something’s going to hurt that little girl of yours, and you’re afraid there won’t be anything you can do to prevent it. I really don’t understand that because I also know you’re a smart man, Sean. There are simply life events you cannot change or stop from happening. Things happen to people, things you can’t always explain or shield them from. It wasn’t your fault Patty got cancer. Surely you can see there was nothing you or anyone else could have done?”

  “There’s where you’re wrong. There was everything I could have done.” Sean lost the fight to keep his voice under control. “I could’ve insisted Patty get immediate treatment. Hell, we could have put off the trip for a few weeks while the treatment took effect. I could have told the Chinese authorities that Patty had a family emergency and could have gone alone to get Raine. I could’ve grown bigger balls and insisted on any of those options. Do you realize that from the time she was diagnosed until she received her first treatment was seven weeks? And do you know how fast that cancer progressed? If I had only talked her into putting the trip off for a month, things might have been different.”

  “Oh sure, man, and Patty would have smiled and said yes, dear. Let’s forget about getting Raine, another child will come along. After all, somebody else would love to have her.’” Derek stopped abruptly. “Buddy, I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”

  “Forget it. Water under the bridge.”

  A few long moments lapsed before Derek continued. “Look, there’s something I want to say to you.”

  “If it’s about the missed deadline, I told you. I’ll give the advance back. I lost interest in that story long ago. The words just aren’t there. I can’t think about writing right now.”

  “It has nothing to do with writing, man. Look, I trust you on that
. Someday that will come back. You’re my friend first, then my client.” Derek’s tone became serious. “It’s something Patty said to me before…well, you remember the time toward the end when I came over and practically forced you out of the house for a while? Raine was asleep, and Patty was in and out from pain medicine?”

  “Yeah, I remember. There’s not much I don’t remember about those days.”

  “Well, Patty woke up, saw me sitting there, and tried to speak. Her voice was very weak, so she asked me to come closer. I told her I would get you, but she said no, she wanted to talk to me.”

  “She wanted to talk to you?” Sean’s throat constricted. “What did she say?”

  Derek sighed. “She told me you might be this way, you know, holding on to her for so long.” He paused.

  “Go on.”

  “Then she made me promise I would try to help you to move on with your life. I’ll be honest, it seemed like the hardest thing for her to say, but she told me she wanted you to find someone else. She wanted you to love again, man.”

  This was vintage Patty, to solicit help in getting him to move on.

  “And it’s funny,” Derek continued. “Right afterwards, as if she’d thought about what she had said, she sounded as if she was having second thoughts, like she was jealous of you and someone else. Then she smiled and told me it was all right to wait a couple of years before I told you. So, here I am, buddy. I don’t have to remind you—it’s been two years now.”

  Sean smiled as a tear traversed his cheek.

  “She said it seemed all right if you pined over her for a while before moving on, and then she started laughing.”

  “That sounds like the Patty I know and love, all right.” After a moment, he took a shaky breath. “Thanks, buddy. I know that was hard for you. Are there any other words of wisdom you want to drop my way? If not, I need to hang up.”

  “One of the blondes from the beach is due there any minute for a little afternoon delight during Raine’s nap?”

  “Right.”

  “Later, big guy.” Derek’s voice was gruff and he cleared his throat.

  “Hey, one more thing before we hang up. You think you can let me talk for a second or two?”

  “You officially have the floor.”

  “I took Raine to a child psychologist.”

  Derek was quiet. Sean could almost hear the wheels turning in his friend’s head.

  “Do you think Raine needs to see a psychologist? Are you having problems with her?”

  “No, nothing like that.” He told Derek about the episodes with Raine, starting with their walk on the beach. “So now that I know she’s special, I want to make sure I get her in the right setting, when it’s time to get her into a school. And I figure in order to do that I need to know how special she is. I was able to get in to see the doctor Raine’s pediatrician put me on to, who specializes in gifted kids. The ladies on the beach confirmed she was the best choice.”

  “She?”

  “Yes, Dr. Noelle Victor, in Pensacola.”

  “So, was this doc another of the wanton babes you seem to be a magnet for?”

  “No. I mean, maybe. I don’t know.”

  “Whoa, buddy. What is it? Is she hot or what?”

  “I guess she’s attractive. But this is about Raine, buddy.”

  “Wow, guess I hit a nerve. Anyway, I knew you had a smart cookie, there. But I had no idea…at any rate, sounds like a plan. Let me know if you need anything from me. A character reference, maybe? If the good doctor’s worth her salt, it might be difficult for her to believe you’re smart enough to be her father. And from the sound of her, wouldn’t hurt me to get face to face with her.”

  “Very funny. Now tell me what you really think. Do you think I need to go dabbling with my little one’s head? I really don’t have a warm and fuzzy feeling about all this. What if there’s more to this than meets the eye?”

  “How do you mean?”

  “I don’t know, really.” The uneasiness returned. “Just wonder if it’s the best thing to do.”

  After a short silence, Derek spoke. “Do you want my honest opinion, or do you want fluff?”

  “I think you know me better than that. Let me have it straight.”

  “Okay, here goes. I think you’re making more of this than you need to. Look, you’re in control here. Let the hot doctor look inside Raine’s head. If you don’t like what she finds or suggests, walk away. Take what you need from all of this, get Raine in the right educational setting, and throw the rest out.”

  Sean thought about this for a moment. Derek was right. He was in control, and he could temper whatever he learned from the tests the doctor had scheduled. “As hard as it is to believe, what you say, oh wise one, makes sense.”

  “Promise me, if you blow the doc off, you’ll get her personal number for me. Seriously, I do think it sounds like the right thing to do. Now, can I talk?”

  “As if I could stop you?”

  “Look, why don’t you and Raine come over next weekend? I could throw some dogs and steaks on the grill, and we could suck down a few brews. What do you say? Maybe you could call up a few of your beach bunnies and invite them along. Hell, invite ’em all. Tell them you’ve got this good-looking, hunky, divorced, brilliant literary-agent guy friend who happens to need to get laid. Or if you can bring one of ’em for me and one for you, a hot and horny redhead would be my first pick, in case I have a choice.”

  “Big boobs, right?”

  “Exactly. You know me well, my friend.”

  “You got it,” he agreed, but knew the party would never happen. “Make sure you call the grocery store ahead of time, so they can stock enough meat to fill my kid up. Oh, and get plenty of booze. That redhead will need it when she gets a load of you in shorts.”

  “I don’t do shorts, man. You know that. But I could wear a Speedo, I guess.”

  “Yeah, that would work,” Sean replied with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

  “Just remembered, I don’t have a Speedo. Maybe I could borrow one of yours? No, no, that won’t work either—too tight in the crotch.”

  He laughed. “Just get the food.”

  “Way ahead of you, man,” Derek said, laughing. “Way ahead of you.”

  Chapter Four

  Two months later

  Sean fidgeted in his chair, alone in the observation room. Behind the glass, Raine sat in a small chair across a low table from the testing technician. She seemed alert and offered quick and succinct answers to the questions. Sean was amazed at the depth of her knowledge concerning a variety of subjects, restoring his faith in the Daily News, as well as the archaic encyclopedias, which were her primary sources of information.

  He glanced at his watch. She was an hour and a half into the tests, and seemed as fresh as a flower, while dear ol’ Dad continued to sweat bullets. A side door to the observation room opened.

  “How are you doing, Dad?” The doctor smiled and leaned inside the room.

  “Not as well as Raine, I suspect.”

  She smiled that smile Sean had grown fond of over the last several weeks. He had learned to relax during the last two sessions—and become a little less wary of making eye contact. The jury was still out on how those piecing blue eyes were truly affecting him. Her smile was infectious and time spent with the doctor was becoming less stressful. Acceptance of the doctor’s role had come much easier for Raine—she had continued to build on the relationship sown during the initial appointment. The two ladies had quickly become two peas in a pod. It was difficult to keep up with their banter. At times they seemed in their own little world, oblivious to such outside factors as the dad.

  “She’s doing so well.” She sat in the chair next to him. “She’s such a bright, delightful child.” She touched his arm lightly, and Sean wanted to cover her delicate hand with his. After a moment, she withdrew and stood. “Let me know if we can do anything to make this more comfortable for you. We’re almost done. Because we haven’t had to
use the extra time slot for testing, this should be the last appointment for a while. From here, we wait for the results and then reconvene for the next step.”

  “The next step?”

  “Yes, the hard part’s over—we then have to determine the best choices for her education and development based on what we’ll have learned of her intellect, weighing of course the social impacts.”

  “I assume you mean to make sure she is emotionally and socially equipped to thrive in whatever environment we decide for her?”

  “Exactly,” she said and gave him another one of those smiles. “I see you’ve been paying attention.”

  “I try.”

  “I’ll check back in a little while, when this last round of advanced testing is over.”

  She moved toward the door, but Sean wanted her to stay, if for nothing more than to look into her eyes and listen to her voice. He searched for words to stall her exit but could think of none. He continued to examine the intense feeling he had known her for much longer than the several weeks since their first meeting. He watched her walk toward the door. His initial skepticism had made an about-face.

  That, in itself, was of great concern. The conversation from the testing room registered once again with Sean, and he noticed the doctor had stopped mid-track at the door and turned toward the glass. She slowly made her way back to the chairs and sat next to him, listening intently. She turned toward him.

  He met her eyes momentarily and then focused on the exchange between Raine and the technician. Another look at the doctor’s face told him she too was astounded. Raine’s answers had reached a new plateau. At a break in the conversation, she muttered, “My colleagues aren’t going to believe this one. Her depth of knowledge. That perception. My God, she seems to know the next question before it’s asked.”

  Sean shot the doctor a worried glance that seemed to go unnoticed. He continued to look at the doctor, as though he was seeing her for the first time. Tiny bells of alarm sounded in his brain.