Cake: A Love Story

by J. Bengtsson

  Of course, I guess I couldn’t blame him for looking. She was practically thrusting her cleavage in his face. What straight man wouldn’t react to that? I noticed Jake’s eyes lingering a second too long on those impressive orbs. Sarah saw it too and took it as a sign to up her flirting. After all, she’d been waiting for this day to come for a long time now. So I watched as she boldly asserted her intentions. She was giggling and jiggling. If Jake wanted to, he could be having sex with her in a matter of minutes. However, the jury was still out on how he felt about her overly assertive behavior. I saw him look past her a few times. Was he planning an escape or was that just wishful thinking on my part?

  Then Sarah made a big mistake. She placed her hand on his chest. As if someone flipped the switch again, Jake’s walls went back up. His relaxed smile from earlier instantly faded and the strained one was back. His body seemed more rigid and his face took on that same unapproachable quality.

  Sarah saw it too. But instead of conceding defeat, she changed her tactics. The horny sexpot wasn’t working. She became more serious, more mature. I imagined she was telling him some sob story to get his sympathy. I wanted to laugh. Sarah was pulling out all the punches. But why wouldn’t she? In her eyes, Jake was the ultimate prize, a sexual encounter she could brag about for years to come. But just as Mitch had predicted, Sarah’s fawning didn’t go over well with Jake. He looked incredibly uncomfortable and did not seem in the least bit interested in Sarah. Huh…maybe her charms were not full proof after all.

  Just then Kate’s mom, Angie, came up to me.

  “Quite a looker, that one,” she remarked smiling and gesturing toward Jake with her eyes. “Damn,” she whispered.

  I blushed. Had I been so obvious in my stalking? Angie must have taken my silence as surprise.

  “Hey, I may be old…and married…but I’m not dead.”

  I laughed. “Don’t explain yourself to me…I agree with you…he’s smoldering eye candy.”

  “Poor boy doesn’t know what hit him. Sarah is a force to be reckoned with.”

  “I’m sure he meets Sarahs every day. Somehow I think he can handle himself just fine,” I replied.

  “Oh I’m sure you’re right. Hell, if I was 30 years younger I’d be giving it a shot too…oh crap, who am I kidding, I would never have had a chance at a guy like him.”

  “You and me both,” I laughed.

  “Hey, don’t sell yourself short. You’re ever bit as gorgeous as Sarah, you’re just more subtle in your beauty.”

  “Yeah, well a flat chest will do that to a person,” I joked. Angie cracked up.

  “You’re so funny Casey. I’ll see you tomorrow for the big day. I’m so excited,” Angie squealed joyfully then hugged me and walked off. I glanced back. Sarah was still working her charms on what appeared now to be a completely uninterested Jake. Then, all of the sudden, Jake’s oldest brother Keith swooped in, made some excuse, and pulled his brother away. I smiled. Jake’s brothers were his escape route and I was certain they had ‘saved’ him many times before.

  I smiled. Jake had just gone up a whole bunch of notches in my book. As he went back to his family, I walked to my chair to gather my things. I knew I should probably go over and introduce myself since we were paired together for the wedding but he kind of terrified me for reasons I could not explain. So I took the coward’s way out and made the decision to wait until tomorrow, just before the ceremony, then I would say hi.

  As I was preparing to leave, I heard Kate call my name. I turned around and, to my horror; I saw her walking up…with Jake. No…oh God…no. Instantly I felt weak in the knees.

  Jake stared at me impassively with that face…with those eyes…wary of another Sarah episode no doubt. Swooning girls must surround the guy all the time and I got the impression he did not entirely appreciate the adoration. I was determined not to be that girl.

  “I just wanted to introduce you guys. Jake, this is my very good friend, Casey Caldwell. She will be your partner for the ceremony tomorrow. She can fill you in on anything you missed at the rehearsal.”

  Jake politely reached out his hand. I put mine in his. “Nice to meet you,” he said.

  “You too,” I managed to say before I gazed up at his gorgeous, famous face and, for some reason, all rational thought left my brain. For probably the first time in my life, I became hopelessly and completely tongue-tied. I could not come up with even one tiny thing to say to Jake. Not only was I not THAT girl, I wasn’t even a girl who could carry on a normal conversation with the guy.

  Jake let go of my hand and looked away, no doubt sensing the awkwardness too. An uncomfortable silence followed. Panic took over. My list…my list…what the hell was on my list? The three of us stood there uneasily for a few seconds before Kate prodded, “Casey maybe you can tell Jake what he missed.”

  “Yeah, sure,” I mumbled. Then I had to think. What did we even do in the rehearsal? My mind was a giant blank. More silence.

  “Okay, so I’ll leave you guys to it…I have to talk to my mom about the wedding before she leaves,” Kate claimed before scurrying away like a coward.

  Kate just left me dangling off the ledge. What a traitor! Jake and I watched her walk away. I had a feeling that he felt as betrayed by her as I did. Reluctantly he turned back to me.

  Jake cleared his throat, “So…uh…is there anything out of the ordinary I need to know or is the wedding pretty standard faire?”

  And then he did it. He scanned the crowd looking for his brother to come and save him…from me. Oh no you don’t, asshole! You will not reduce me to a ‘Sarah’. All the sudden my voice returned. Jake McKallister was about to meet the real Casey Caldwell.

  “Yes…pretty standard wedding…except…you know…for the dance moves at the end.”

  This got Jake’s attention immediately. Where he might not have really noticed me before, Jake gaped at me now, his eyes opened wide with surprise and confusion. “What do you mean the dance moves?”

  “You know, at the end, the whole wedding party…we are all doing the dance.”

  The color nearly drained from Jake’s face. He looked truly shocked. He was shaking his head. “No. Nobody told me.”

  Now any normal person would have shut it down here. I mean this was Jake McKallister, a goddamn, worldwide celebrity who was certainly not known for having a sunny personality. But, oh no, not me. I had the unfortunate disease that others had referred to as verbal diarrhea. Once I got started, the words just poured out of me.

  “Yeah, they surprised us with it at the rehearsal this afternoon. Have you ever seen on the internet where the whole wedding party dances down the aisle in celebration?” I asked.

  “I…maybe…I don’t know,” Jake uttered, stumbling over his words.

  “Well, that is basically what we will be doing,” I continued in a pleasant voice.

  Jake just stared at me in disbelief before saying, “I just can’t believe no one said anything to me.”

  “Well I think it was a last minute thing, you know?”

  “Still, I mean, you’d think that is something they’d mention,” he replied shaking his head. His eyebrows were furrowed in frustration. The initial shock was wearing off and now Jake just looked pissed. It was definitely time to stop. He was getting agitated. It was entirely possible that he wouldn’t find my little prank humorous. Best-case scenario: he laughed. Worse-case scenario: he would seek a restraining order against me. That should have been enough for me to shut the hell up but…nope. Instead I just upped the ante.

  “Yeah, that is weird…huh? Anyway…no worries. The dance is really easy. I’ll teach you…it goes like this, one-two-three hop then skip then back two-three-four hop then skip. See, it’s pretty easy.”

  To illustrate my terribly choreographed fake dance, I did a ridiculous ‘stand in place’ version. My arms were flailing all over the place and my feet were doing something close to Irish dancing. Jake’s mouth dropped open in horrified disbelief as he watched me.


  “You want to practice?”

  My rockstar partner stared at me like I had two rotating heads before regaining his composure and shaking his own head in annoyance, “No, not really.”

  “Okay…suit yourself. Oh shoot…I almost forgot…at the end, just as we leave the church, we all have to jump in the air and click our heels together.”

  “What?” Jake blurted out with a seriously irritated look on his face. I’d crossed the line of his tolerance. “Are you serious?” He asked me, not so much as a question but as a complaint.

  He’d just given me the question I needed to end my little rouse. I smiled, shook my head and answered, “no.”

  It took a few seconds for my response to register with Jake.

  “Wait…are you kidding?” He asked in disbelief.

  “Yeah, I’m just kidding,” I grinned. “No dancing…just your standard wedding faire.”

  Jake stared at me in surprise, no total shock, and, for a second, I worried that worst case scenario was about to become fact. But then a smile, so dazzling and so sincere, spread across his handsome face and he said, “Seriously? You’re just messing with me?”

  “We were having an awkward moment,” I grinned, shrugging. “I thought it might lighten the mood.” No way was I going to tell him my true motivation behind the prank.

  Jake stared at me a second before he started laughing. Oh thank God. The tightness in my chest immediately eased. Jake was smiling. He actually thought it was funny and seemed to visibly relax in front of me. This was the same Jake who laughed with his brothers. I could handle this Jake.

  “God damn,” he exclaimed, grabbing his chest with his hands like he was having a heart attack. “I totally thought you were serious. I’m so relieved right now, you have no idea.”

  “I can see that,” I smiled at him. “You really don’t like dancing, do you?”

  “Well there is dancing…and then there is that,” Jake gestured to me, “I don’t even know what to call it…that monstrosity that you just performed.”

  I burst out laughing. “Hey, I didn’t have time to prepare. I was improvising.”

  “Yeah, okay but what was that thing you did with your arm? It was like it had been nearly severed and was dangling on its last tendon, or something.”

  I laughed some more at his word imagery. “What? Do you mean this?” I performed my severed-arm dance again. Jake laughed uproariously. From the corner of my eye I saw Sarah staring at me with a look of utter horror and disbelief…like she couldn’t believe I could be so moronic in front of a guy like Jake. I froze, stopping my dance abruptly. Oh God. Had I just made a total fool of myself in front of Jake McKallister? Was he laughing at me or with me? Because there was a big difference! I almost didn’t want to look up at him. But when I turned to face him, his eyes twinkled with enjoyment.

  “That was frickin’ hysterical,” he exclaimed. “I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.” And once I understood that he was laughing with me and not at me, I completely relaxed. Fuck you, Sarah!

  “Oh well, your welcome then,” I smiled and did a little curtsy.

  Jake looked closer at me now like he was really seeing me for the first time. “Sorry, what was your name again?”

  “Casey…Caldwell,” I said holding my hand out to shake his then added jokingly, “I didn’t catch your name either?”

  Jake took my hand then grinned and said, “Hi, I’m Jake McKallister.”

  “Nice to meet you Jake McKallister. You know there is a cure for that?”

  “For what?”

  “Not remembering someone’s name.”

  Jake smiled, looking interested. “Oh yeah, what’s the cure?”

  “Pay attention the first time,” I smiled deviously.

  Jake gave me that killer stare and he smiled. “Yeah…I definitely should have paid better attention. Sorry. It won’t happen again, Casey Caldwell.”

  I smiled.

  “So what do you do Casey?”

  “I’m a student at Arizona State.”

  “Really? That’s cool,” Jake replied.

  “Not as cool as being a rockstar but, yeah, it’s right up there on the list,” I joked. “Rockstar, astronaut, brain surgeon…student at ASU.”

  “Yeah that is how the list goes,” Jake laughed.

  “I might have left out a few professions,” I teased.

  “Yeah, maybe just a few,” Jake smiled then raised an eyebrow and asked mischievously, “So Casey…isn’t ASU the #1 party school in the nation or something like that?”

  “I think it might actually be in the world, but go ahead and minimize our accomplishments…whatever,” I joked in mock annoyance.

  “Oh God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to sell your school short.”

  “It’s okay. It’s a common error,” I teased.

  Jake grinned and his eyes twinkled with mischief, “So?”

  “So, what?” I demanded, with just the right amount of flirt back.

  “Are you a party girl?”

  I laughed out loud. “Seriously? Way to stereotype, rockstar.”

  Then it was Jake’s turn to laugh out loud. He seemed impressed with my retort. “Yeah, who am I to talk, right?”

  I nodded laughing. “And to answer your question…I know I seem super cool and everything but I’m actually kind of a nerd.”

  Jake looked me up and down appreciatively and said, “You don’t look like any nerd I’ve ever seen.”

  Ahh…swoon.

  “Well, this might sway you…I’m an accounting major.”

  “Shut up!” He exclaimed in surprise. “Accounting?”

  I nodded, smiling.

  “Damn, you are a nerd!” He joked.

  “I told you,” I exclaimed and touched his arm spontaneously. The conversation was so effortless that I wasn’t thinking. Recalling his reaction to Sarah’s touch, I immediately removed my hand and tried to play it off like it was no big deal, “Oh sorry, I got overly excited…like a puppy.” Please don’t be mad.

  Jake grinned. “It’s okay. My arm didn’t mind.”

  And truly he seemed fine with it…totally unaffected. Huh. Okay.

  “So how did you end up at ASU, the world’s biggest party school?” Jake teased, while emphasizing ‘world’.

  “My family lives six blocks from the school. It was the cheapest alternative.”

  “Ah…okay.”

  “And before you assume I’m totally boring I’ll say that I may have dabbled a bit in the party scene from time to time.”

  “You being boring was the furthest thing from my mind,” Jake answered, smiling.

  I grinned. Another compliment? He seemed to be enjoying my company. What were the chances? Jake stared down at me with a charming smile. Damn…he was so beautiful to look at that I almost felt like apologizing for gazing upon him.

  “Did you ever watch the movie Ted 2?” Jake asked.

  I knew exactly where he was going with his question. Ted 2 had bashed ASU for it’s party reputation and for it’s students being dumb. Jake was teasing me. I loved it. I smiled coyly and said, “I did.”

  Jake grinned.

  “What?” I demanded, jokingly.

  “Nothing.”

  “Go ahead, Jake, I’ve heard every joke there is about ASU.”

  “I didn’t say anything,” Jake smirked.

  “How many ASU freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?”

  Jake smiled. “I don’t know.”

  “None, it’s a sophomore course.”

  Jake laughed out loud.

  “Why are rectal thermometers banned at ASU?”

  Jake shrugged.

  “They cause brain damage.”

  Jake laughed again.

  “And finally…why aren’t ASU cheerleaders allowed to do the splits?”

  “I have no idea,” Jake replied, grinning.

  “Because they stick to the ground.”

  “Oh God,” Jake winced as he laughed. “Never mind about Ted
2.”

  I laughed as I smiled up at him. Damn this guy was actually super cool.

  “So I have to ask, Casey, do you actually want to be an accountant?”

  “Yes, actually I do,” I acknowledged, nodding. “That’s how college works Jake. You study the thing that you want to be.”

  “Yeah, no, I get that…it’s just…I can’t think of anything more boring to do in life,” he expressed, laughing then added, “no offense.”

  “None taken…and it’s boring but I love numbers.”

  “You must be good in math then.”

  “Yeah, I’m good in math.”

  “Like how good?”

  “Decently good.”

  “Decently good? What does that mean?” Jake asked.

  “I don’t know. I don’t want to be one of those cocky nerds,” I said.

  Jake grinned. “Can one really be academically cocky?”

  “You have no idea how cocky the nerds are now-a-days, Jake. It really has become an epidemic,” I related with a seriously concerned face.

  Jake shook his head in amusement, “Wow, where have I been?”

  “I doubt you run into too many of them in your line of work but trust me, they exist.”

  “I believe you,” Jake said, his eyes twinkling with enjoyment. He took my breath away. He then asked, “What year are you in?”

  “Wow you have a lot of questions, don’t you?”

  “I know,” Jake laughed. “I’m usually not this talkative.”

  “Really? Huh? ‘Cuz right now you’re just a regular chatty pants.”

  Jake stared at me in surprise then asked, “Did you just call me chatty pants?”