Beautifully Broken
Page 8
My first stop was a gourmet shop that required a trip into Vegas proper for the soft, fancy cheeses that I loved along with wines that the big stores didn’t carry. The place was all dark wood and cool glass cases, filled with cheese and cured meats, jams and chutneys. The place was small and the man who owned the place was always kind, so I kept coming back. I always spent too much money in there, but on the upside, it forced me to buy more fresh veggies to combat all that cheese. I wasn’t overly concerned with my figure, but I knew I needed to be healthy because there was no one to take care of me.
The next stop required several deep, cleansing and fortifying breaths before I could even get out of my car. The supermarket was forty rows of everything consumable which meant at any given time there were dozens of people milling about inside. But I wasn’t a scared little girl anymore and I took another deep breath and stepped out into the sunny day. I grabbed a cart, pulled out my phone and kept my head down while I filled my cart with everything I would need this week.
Other than dodging a few guys who thought they were interested, the trip had been a success. But there were a group of young guys standing right outside the automatic sliding doors, smoking cigarettes and laughing loudly. I peeped their leather vests and I knew they were bikers. Other than television and the little Max had told me, I didn’t know much about them, but I knew men. They were trouble.
I put my head down and fingered my hair over my shoulders to shield my face, and pushed the cart through the doors, moving quickly through the clouds of cigarette smoke.
“Hey baby!” They all laughed because this was apparently the best joke they had to offer.
“And look at that ass, so round and juicy,” another called out but I didn’t stop or turn, I pushed the cart with one hand and dug for my keyring with the other.
“I said, hey,” a voice called but it was much closer to me and my heart picked up as my fight or flight instinct kicked in.
My left hand wrapped around the keychain and yanked it out just as a hand landed on my shoulder. I turned and pushed my right hand out and up, striking him in the throat. “No!” My heart was racing too fast to process anything other than safety and I turned, pushing my cart at a jog to get to my car.
“Crazy fucking bitch!” I grabbed both bags and shoved them in the back seat, not caring that both tipped over as I slammed the door. “You’re not worth the trouble, ugly bitch!”
I whirled around, keys in my hand with my fingers wrapped around the miniature bottle of pepper spray. “I didn’t ask for the trouble of your unwanted attention, asshole!” I yanked open my door as more footsteps fell behind me in quick succession, voices began to shout. I blocked it all out and slid into my car.
A hand grabbed my arm and called out to me. “Jana.”
Max. “Leave me alone,” I shouted, staring up at him and wishing I hadn’t looked up. “Please,” I damn near cried as I started the engine.
“Jana,” he said, my name an anguished cry on his lips, but I couldn’t let myself be moved. As soon as his hand went slack on the door, I grabbed the handle, pulled it closed and raced out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell.
I raced home where I planned to stay for the next week. Or forever if I could find a place that delivered groceries.
Chapter 9
Max
“What the fuck is your problem?” I wanted to wrap my hands around this fucking prospect’s neck and squeeze. Not only had that motherfucker manhandled Jana, but he’d terrified and insulted her. “Do you get off on touching women without their permission? That shit is for little boys. Are you a little boy?”
“Fuck no,” he spat out but I saw the fear flash in his eyes. He knew I wasn’t a man to be fucked with. “She wasn’t worth it anyway, ugly bitch.”
This time I did pop him in his fucking mouth. “Like I thought, a little fucking boy. If you can’t handle rejection maybe you should stick with the Bitches. And that ‘ugly bitch’ as you called her, is mine. Watch yourself, motherfucker.” My chest heaved, as angry fire swept through my veins. Seeing him touch her like that had unleashed something in me, something dark and angry.
“How the fuck should I know that?” He whined. Whined like the little fucking girl he was.
“That’s the point, asshole. Don’t go putting your hands on people without asking. Maybe we ought to hand you over to the Pink Ladies for a while,” I laughed, referencing another club filled with men who didn’t turn away sex based on gender. They rode and sold drugs, but they kept their business out of Mayhem so we let them live.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean,” he said, getting up in my face like he wasn’t just a prospect.
“It means, maybe if we let someone bigger than you touch you against your will, you might fucking understand what you did wrong.” I was heated and ready to fight. It wasn’t all on the prospect but he was here and I didn’t give a fuck.
“Max, man, chill the fuck out.” Savior got in my face. “What the hell is going on?”
“What’s going on is maybe we need to rethink who let into this club,” I told him with a pointed look at the now fearful prospect. I gave Savior a quick recap of what had gone down. “That shit ain’t right, man. Even if it wasn’t Jana, you don’t grab a woman who doesn’t show interest. Or do we now?”
Savior’s nostrils flared in anger at my intended dig at the Reckless Bastards. “He’s a brother, we’ll talk to him.”
“He’s not a brother yet, and she is the reason I’ve gotten any sleep over the past couple weeks.” Jana was also the reason I hadn’t slept it all this past week but that wasn’t the point. “Look Savior, I get what you’re saying man, I do. But what happens if she goes to the cops? What that fucker did was assault. That would be the perfect excuse for Sheriff Woodley to come toss the compound.”
I could see the gears turning in Savior’s head because he knew I was right. “Fine, I’ll have Cross talk to him and make him understand how Reckless Bastards are expected to act.”
That was as good as it would get, I suppose. “You guys got everything under control for the party?” As soon as I got the call from Jana this morning, I spread the word and the guys had begun preparing for a welcome home party for Tate. So far, I hadn’t heard from him and that pissed me off, but all I could do was wait. And assume that eventually he would call me or come to the clubhouse.
Until then, I needed to see Jana. Talk to her. It might help if I started with an apology. Even as I started up my bike, I knew an apology wouldn’t be enough. The way she looked at me, like I was no better than the asshole who manhandled her, had gutted me. I knew I hadn’t handled things well, but I only felt like a piece of shit when she looked at me like I was one. She might not even open the door for me, but as I turned on her block I knew I had to find a way.
I walked slowly up her driveway and knocked on the door. While I waited for an answer, I scanned the neighborhood. They were all family homes but given the lack of bicycles and toys on the lawns and sidewalks, I figured this must be a block for young professionals. Jana would’ve done her best to stay away from inquisitive children with no filter.
The door opened and a wary expression crossed her brown eyes. “What do you want?” She didn’t even open the door all the way. Apparently I only warranted a small slice of open door.
“I was hoping we could talk, Jana.”
She shook her head. “Well we can’t. Please leave and don’t come back.” She pushed the door closed and I slammed my palm against the door to keep it open and she gasped, brown eyes widened with fear. “What the hell?”
“Five minutes. Give me five minutes and then I’ll go.”
She took a step back. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” she said and took another step back. She walked through the living and into the kitchen, giving me a long look at her delectable heart-shaped ass and shapely toned legs in that soft looking dress she wore. “Speak.” Jana stayed on the other side of the island counter, glaring at me like I m
ight attack her at any moment.
“I was an asshole.”
“No arguments here.”
I grinned but there was no amusement on her face. “I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that. It’s just that-,”
“Nope,” she shook her head furiously and fisted her hands on her hips. “You were right. I am not your mother. In fact, we’re not anything other than a memory. Don’t worry yourself about it, Max.”
“I know damn well you’re not my mother, Jana. That doesn’t mean I should’ve said that bullshit to you. And I am sorry, I was just worried and I’m not real good at showing those kinds of emotions.” I felt like a fucking asshole sitting here talking about my feelings while she kept a whole damn island between us, but I needed her to know. “It wasn’t about you. It was about me, and that’s not a line.”
She closed her eyes, trying to block the onslaught of words. “Fine Max, I accept your apology. Happy?”
“No. I’ve missed you.”
She scoffed. “You’re horny again, which is strange because you were with a woman when I called about your brother.”
Dammit. I wasn’t sure earlier if she’d heard Brenna or not, but she had. “I wasn’t with any damn body,” I shot back angrily. “You want the truth or you just want to believe the worst of me?”
To her credit, Jana took a moment to think about it. She was a logical, levelheaded woman so I knew she would take the question seriously. “I’m not sure, but I am curious so tell me.”
Shit. “My club, the Reckless Bastards, we might not share a lot in common with some of the other motorcycle clubs but we’re men. There are always women, a certain type of woman who wants nothing more than to be a biker’s old lady. They are willing to do anything—anything—to become one, including sleeping with whoever is available in hopes of being promoted from a Reckless Bitch to an old lady.”
She didn’t say anything for a long time. “Wow.” She turned to the fridge and pulled out two brown bottles, sliding one to the edge of the counter for me. “So it doesn’t count?”
“It doesn’t if I didn’t fuck her. And I didn’t. Brenna came in as soon as I picked up the phone, hoping to tempt me to fuck her. I wouldn’t have fucked her anyway, but after your call I spent the next couple hours trying to find my fucking brother.”
Her demeanor changed instantly. “Did you find out anything?”
“Nope. He hasn’t called at all. The guys are getting ready for a party, but now I don’t even know if he’ll fucking show.”
Jana sighed and nodded as she walked around the counter, taking a seat across the table from me. “This isn’t about you, Max. I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s the truth. Your brother did six years of someone else’s time and that’s not an easy thing to come back from. He might not come around for a while,” she shrugged. “Or he might be on his way to your club room right now. My guess is that he’s decompressing with the people who helped free him.”
“Shit, you’re right. Thanks.” I laid a hand on top of hers, grateful that she hadn’t pulled away in disgust. “Still, he’s cut me off completely.”
That made her pull back for some reason. “You ever think it might be because of your club?” Her words held no venom but they pissed me off all the same.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
She pushed back from the table and stood, abandoned her beer just to get away from me. “It means being associated with a biker gang might have hurt his chances to gain his freedom.” She sounded exasperated, like I was the one being unreasonable.
“We are a club. A legal fucking club.”
She shrugged. “Fine, I’m wrong. You should probably go check on the party.” And right before my eyes, I watched her shut down. Pull away from me and shutter her emotions.
“Come with me.”
“No.” she crossed her arms over her body in a protective move that spoke volumes.
“Why not?”
She sighed. “Because Max, I may not be much to look at but I am a person and I deserve respect. I doubt I’ll get that at a place where men treat women like you and your friends do. Have a good life, Max.”
I stood and followed her back to the front door where she held a death grip on the doorknob. “You can be pissed off at me all you want, Jana. I fucking deserve it. But I like you and I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
“Too bad it’s not just up to you.”
I grinned. “Maybe not, but I have my ways.” She was ready to protest, to tell me what a fucking prick I was, but before she could take a breath my mouth was on hers, tasting and teasing her lips while she tried to resist me. The minute she gasped, I slid in and when our tongues touched, she tightened her hands on my arms, hanging on. A second later she was a full participant in the kiss, licking my tongue and nibbling my lips.
The kiss was hot as fuck, making my cock hard as she rubbed up against me. I lifted her in the air and her legs went around my waist so I was nestled right against the heat of her pussy. She moaned and my hips pressed harder, eager to be closer to where she was hot and wet, and so fucking tight for me. “Jana,” I growled as my lips went to her neck, licking across her collarbone while she clung to me.
I wanted her more than I wanted anything in that moment, but I knew I couldn’t. Not with our last encounter still fresh in her mind. Despite her eagerness right now, I knew she wasn’t up for fucking. But I needed to touch her. One thumb slipped into the elastic of her panties and found her clit, fat and swollen, her pussy already drenched with desire. “Fuck,” she moaned and bit my ear.
“Jana,” I groaned again and adjusted my hold on her because I needed to hear her soft cries of pleasure, her moans and gasps. It was torture as my cock hammered against my zipper, but all I wanted was to feel her come apart on my hand.
Her fingers dug into my skin and her hips moved, fucking my fingers as they plunged in and out of her. “Oh, god. Yes!”
Fuck, those eager sounds she made. Jana didn’t hold back when it came to pleasure and she had no fucking clue how hot that was. I added another finger to her pussy, using my thumb to rub fast circles in her clit. “You’re so fucking tight, babe.”
She growled and tossed her head back. “Max.”
“Let go, honey. I’ve got you. Come all over me. Now.”
Big brown eyes stared at me, full of wonder, as I plunged in and out of her pussy and then she fell apart, trembling around my fingers. Pupils dilated so her eyes were pure black, chest heaving as she rode out her orgasm. “Damn,” she sighed. “Thanks.”
She let her legs fall down until she slid down my body. “No Jana, thank you,” I told her and licked my fingers clean. “That isn’t enough, but for today it’ll have to do.” She looked confused. Good. I was confused by it all too, but I was nowhere near ready to be done with Jana. I kissed her again, hot and hard, and intense as fuck. When I pulled back she was gasping, wide-eyed and shocked. “See you soon, Jana.”
Chapter 10
Jana
“Are those extensions?” A woman with yellowish blond hair shouted across the room at yet another Friday night art class.
I glanced up and shook my head. “Nope, it’s all mine.”
“Damn,” she pouted. “I was totally gonna ask who did them. Lucky bitch.” She grinned and shook her head before returning to her friends.
Class hadn’t yet started but the book club women had arrived about ten minutes ago and cracked open a bottle—or two—of wine, so things were rowdy already. I sat in my usual spot and kept to myself, sketching in a small pad until class began. The week had been long but productive and I really needed to blank my mind out for a couple hours, so I was happy when Moon stepped into the center of the half-circle and introduced the dancers we’d paint tonight. They were dressed in white and nude bodysuits, frozen in motion.
I pulled out my paints and began mixing when the bells above the door sounded, followed by the heavy thud of boots. Not just any boots. Motorcycle boots. I knew, before h
e even took the seat beside me, it was Max because my body told me. The tiny hairs all over my body stood up, electrified as my skin began to heat up. “Sorry I’m late,” he called out to Moon. “Hey,” he whispered to me but I wasn’t interested.
I kept my gaze fixed on the dancers, focusing first on the way they were connected from the collar bone to the hips. I focused on the shadows that would add depth to the overall image, gently filling in the other spots. It was harder than I thought, ignoring Max and his attempts at conversation, but I knew that I had to. As good as his body had been to mine, the rest of it was too risky. I didn’t take risks because I knew I wasn’t willing to pay for the consequences.
“There’s too much shit here,” he grumbled, struggling to focus his painting. “I know you hate me, but help me out. Please.”
It was the passion in his plea that did it, forced me to speak to him. To look at him. “I don’t hate you, Max.” I didn’t. I blamed myself more than him for how things played out. I knew better than to have expectations, but the sex was so good it made me forget. “Focus on one thing to start, like the way the legs are entangled.”
“And then?”
I shrugged, trying to hold back a smile. “By the time you’re satisfied with it, class will be over.” He flashed a grin at me and I sucked in a breath at just how handsome he looked. I kind of missed out on the going crazy over boys part of life because I’d been in the hospital and foster care when I should’ve been kissing boys and going to school dances, so it made sense that a man as potent as Max could easily turn me inside out.
“Smart woman.”
Not that smart, I thought but I kept it to myself because being snarky wouldn’t change anything. “That’s me. Smart woman.” I was smart, not beautiful. Being around Max was too hard and I refused to let my gaze wander anywhere other than from my canvas to the dancers and to the paint. I’d nearly relaxed when Moon dismissed us for the night.