“And my wonderful mother heard on the grapevine of an odd couple that lived in a farmhouse in Deenslow.”
The rest of my story was history, as they say. “So I was sold for one thousand pounds so my mother could pay her drug debt?”
Kloe nodded and twisted in my arms. Sadness overwhelmed her and she reached up to cup my cheek. I could barely see her in the darkness but her love and her sorrow were so passionate they were practically visible. “I’m so sorry, Anderson.”
“Don’t be. At least now I have an explanation, as shit as it is.” I shook my head, placing my hand over hers. “So what happened to your father?”
“I don’t know. Terry just said he went away. He wasn’t much up for talking by that point.”
Once again I winced and nodded in understanding.
Kloe became lost in thought and I pinched her chin. “What else did he say?”
She tensed but shook her head. “That was it. He spat a lot of hatred and bullshit.”
“Bullshit?”
“Just… stuff.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what happened in there, Anderson. I… Something took over and I don’t…”
“It’s okay. I know.” And I did. Rage, necessity, determination, corruption, and the deep sense of survival that lived in all of us did a job sometimes we didn’t want to do.
“He screamed so loud,” she divulged with a slight shudder. “And his blood, it was so pretty. So riveting to watch it leak from him so effortlessly. I felt a strength I never had before. It grew in my belly until it completely took over.”
I tightened my arms around her when the repulsion in her eyes made her wince. “We do what we have to, Kloe.” I didn’t tell her that most people didn’t actually go as far as she had. Yet Kloe had been through so much that no one could quite understand where her state of mind was now. What should disgust so many of us was becoming the normal for Kloe. And although what I had witnessed had sickened even me, I was so proud of her. She proved to me that she was ready for me to leave her. She would survive this after all, and she would protect our baby with her life.
She blinked up at me. “I found it,” she whispered.
I frowned. “You found what?”
“Whatever I’d been looking for. The crack of thunder in the middle of the storm. The hottest fire in hell. The epitome of sin. I’d been looking for light, Anderson, for hope in the middle of hopelessness. For an escape from the middle of escapism. All along I’d been looking for the opposite of what I needed.
“Something clicked when I watched the blood drain from Terry, from the cut that I’d inflicted. The loss of his life gave me mine. His last breath was my first in a long while. Does that make sense?”
I nodded, pressing my lips to her forehead. “It makes perfect sense. We all tend to look for the things we think we need, when all along, if we’d just closed our eyes and really looked, we’d have found what lies within us is the very thing we’ve been looking for.”
“But it was you who opened my eyes, Anderson. It was you who found my heart.”
She pushed at me, rolling me over, and came over me, straddling my chest as she bent and pressed her mouth to mine. Her little tongue slipped between my lips and she adored me in that single kiss.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I know you can’t say it back, and that’s okay. But you need to learn to trust me, Anderson. I’m stronger than you think. I’d protect you with my life.”
Her words tapped at my conscience, telling me I should have questioned her statement more. But when her mouth slid down my body and her lips and tongue teased the head of my cock, all thoughts left me.
It wasn’t until the following week, the night before my fight with Ivan, that her words made perfect sense to me – and I discovered just how much Kloe Grant did love me.
Red could sense the sadness in me, the heaviness of my heart. The wind whipped across the park, the exposed area providing no shelter from its beating on my face. I needed the air. It had felt like my lungs were clogging up in the house.
Kloe and Robbie had been gone a while and I was growing nervous. I’d sent Kloe to pick up some of her things. She had questioned why I wanted her to stay at mine, but after her father had come back into her life it had been easy to give her an explanation as to why I needed her to stay. In reality, it was because she would need the comfort of my home, and Red, when she learned of my fate.
They’d left over three hours ago, and although I knew she would be safe with Robbie, I couldn’t help the twist of anxiety that grew deeper in my chest.
Over the previous week she had healed more and more. Her beautiful smile had returned and she was once again at ease with herself. However, I knew she still hid something from me. I’d catch her looking at me with sad eyes, and she frequently told me that she loved me, as though she needed me to feel every inch of her affection in case I never felt it again. If I didn’t trust Robbie with my life I’d have sworn he had told her, so it couldn’t be the fight that was troubling her.
I couldn’t tell her about my deal with Ivan; it would have broken her. I knew she’d feel guilty, that it was her fault I’d traded my life for hers. But the life of my child, and Kloe, meant more to me than my next breath. If I was left behind without them then my life was over anyway.
I wasn’t nervous about death, far from it, but I was sad that now everything in my life was coming together, it had to end.
Robbie had grown angry again last night. His suggestion of taking Kloe and leaving was ludicrous. Deals were deals; they would never be broken. Kloe was safe because of Ivan. I owed him my life, and I would do it over again if I had to.
Red’s ears whipped up in the air with a sudden strong gust of wind; she looked so comical I couldn’t help but smile. The cold started to penetrate the thickness of my coat and I shivered. “Time to go home, girl.”
I gulped and squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn’t grieve, and although my heart was sad for Red, I knew she’d be okay with Kloe.
The walk home seemed to take longer than usual, dejection making me slow, but I sighed with relief when I spotted Rob’s car parked up in front of the house.
Rob was nowhere to be seen when I walked in, but Kloe sat at the kitchen table. She was miles away, her fingers clutching a cold cup of tea as she stared into space.
She jumped when I came behind her and dropped a kiss in her hair. The scent of honey and coconut invaded my senses and calmed the storm that had started to swell inside.
“Hey.”
She turned, giving me a soft smile. Her eyes were rimmed with redness. “Have you been crying?”
She shook her head. “No.”
I frowned at her one-word answer and pinched her chin, turning her face to mine. “Don’t lie to me, Kloe. I thought we’d established this a long time ago.”
She nodded and huffed. “Yes, we had established that a while ago. But you lie, so I think I’m entitled to the odd fib or two.”
Her bolshiness made my gut burn. “I’m sorry, what?”
Pushing her chair back, she stood up and turned to face me. Her eyes were narrow and hard. “I trusted you, Anderson. I trusted you with my life, yet you couldn’t return that. You didn’t trust me.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
She pursed her lips. “Ivan Moritz.”
Every single bone in my body cracked as ice raced through me. My heart jumped in my chest, thudding against my breastbone as if it wanted to make a run for freedom. “Who told you?”
She hesitated, as if to brace herself for my wrath when Robbie’s name slipped from her mouth. It had to be Robbie; no one else knew.
“Terry told me.” The shock that covered my face made her shake her head. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked so quietly, I struggled to hear the words leave her.
She was hurt, and I understood that, but whether she’d understand my reason was a different matter. “Because you’d have blamed yourself. Because I couldn’t bear to see the life
die in your eyes before I went. Because I wanted your beautiful smile to be the last thing I saw, not your tears. Not tears I had caused. I couldn’t bear to go with that in my heart.”
She nodded and smiled. “You should have still trusted me, Anderson. If you think I would allow you to throw a fight, for me, especially when that means death then you’re mistaken. When I told you I loved you, I meant it. Love, as you said before, it’s violent, it’s furious. A storm of rage that burns right down to my soul. And that storm, that violent rage that you give me with your love makes me fight, it makes me strong as a person and it gives me courage, Anderson. As you would fight for me, I’ll always fight for you.”
I opened my mouth to speak but she shook her head. Taking my hand, she led me over to the basement door and pulled me down behind her. The smell of blood hit me and I grimaced; I didn’t think the scent would ever leave. It penetrated the floor, the walls, and every molecule of air in the place.
Knowing she was about to give me the pain I needed, I squeezed her hand tighter. She didn’t respond. Instead she continued guiding me down.
My mouth fell open when my gaze landed on Ivan Moritz, hanging from the same chain Terry had not days ago.
“Kloe?”
She looked furious, her wild eyes glaring at me. “As I said, you should have trusted me!”
“What the fuck? You can’t do this. I made a deal, Kloe! A deal that shouldn’t be broken!”
She scoffed, shaking her head and taking a step towards me. “A deal that should never have been made in the first place!”
Robbie was stood against the back wall, watching me. He wasn’t wary like I’d have expected him to be. He knew what a deal meant in our world and he should have been dubious of my reaction, but he wasn’t. He was angry. As angry as Kloe.
Ivan was unconscious, his chin on his chest as he hung limply. It made me wonder how the hell they had managed to subdue him. Ivan was as tough as they came; he was strong and violent. It didn’t make sense.
“How the hell did you get him here?”
Kloe smirked, and then, surprising me, she laughed. But it wasn’t humorous. Everything but. A chill raced over me and I licked at my dry lips.
“It was strange, you know,” she said as she looked straight at me. “When I was hung from the chain, and you came to get me, my mind filled with visions of my father. I’d never really thought about him before. Never really felt a connection with him. And then, all of a sudden, he was with me, like he was in the room with me.”
My soul ached for her. All she ever wanted was to be loved. But once again, sensing my emotions, she shook her head.
“There was a simple reason for that, Anderson. It was because he was in the room with me.”
My eyes widened as my throat constricted. “W-what?”
She turned to Ivan. Pure hatred seeped from her, and she spat. “Meet my father, Anderson.”
“YOU GREW INTO A BEAUTIFUL woman, Samantha.”
My father sat in the chair opposite me. As if he knew his life was over, he had become sombre and agreeable, his bright blue eyes that were the mirror image of mine hadn’t left my face for the last hour.
It was time. Time to end it all.
But first I wanted answers, except I wasn’t sure I was going to get any.
“Where did you go?”
“Prison.”
That shocked me, not his answer but the fact he had answered me.
“There’s so much you don’t know, Sammy.”
I flinched at his affectionate shortening of my name. “So tell me.”
He snorted. “Life is never that simple.”
“No,” I replied. “But death is.”
His smile looked wrong against the pale sharpness of his face. He was Russian, and it surprised me to know that I held those genes within me. The only parts of him I’d been gifted were my blue eyes and my strawberry blonde hair. Other than that, we were nothing alike.
“Death is the only simple thing in life,” he agreed, his smile widening as if he’d just made a joke.
“So, are you going to enlighten me before your own death? Or do I have to go through life forever wondering why God thought I deserved such wonderful parents?”
He laughed and I had to bite into my lip to dampen the need to kill my own flesh and blood before he had a chance to tell me anything. Patience was never my strong point, and as if knowing that, Anderson slipped his hand into mine. He’d been sitting beside me, giving me all of his courage and devotion, but he’d remained quiet, allowing me and my father our last moments without interference.
“Nothing to tell, little one.” He shrugged. “Just how me and your mother were made I guess. You never did anything wrong, but then you never did anything right either. You might have guessed that you came as bit of a surprise. We never planned on having any kids. Our lifestyle was just…”
“Selfish?” I finished for him.
His lips grew into a grin and his eyes twinkled with amusement. “Yeah. That’s about it.”
I had to close my eyes to compose myself. Anderson squeezed my hand, encouraging me to calm down.
“I should have guessed that you’d find each other again,” Ivan mused as he gazed at our joined hands. “You were always close. When Judd went away you were never the same after. You became quiet, moody. An actual nightmare to be around.”
“Well, I’m so sorry I disappointed you.”
“Nah.” He shook his head with indifference. “You were never a disappointment, but you were never a delight either. You and Judd clung to each other because really all you ever had was each other. So when Terry and Janice sold you,” he said to Anderson before turning back to me, “we were left with you.”
“Why didn’t you just hand me over to social services?” I had been lucky to have such a lovely foster family after I’d managed to escape Terry’s attic, so social services didn’t scare me.
When Ivan just shrugged in reply to my query, Anderson asked, “What happened to my mother?” I knew it had been something he’d wanted answering for so long, and I held on to Ivan’s reply just as closely as Anderson did.
“She fell down the stairs and broke her neck, believe it or not.”
Both Anderson and I stared wide-eyed and Ivan held up his hands. “Yep. Seems a bit undramatic, but hey, it was just one of those things. She was as high as a rabid horse at the time.”
Anderson flinched beside me, my father’s cruel laugh and callous attitude hurting him. Ivan’s humour sickened me. He didn’t care about anything, his disregard making me grow angrier with him.
“So why come back?” I asked. “Why, after all these years, come back to haunt me and Anderson? We had our lives back. Anderson was finally free of those sick bastards. Why?”
For the first time, my father showed an actual reaction to one of my questions. He looked at me like I was crazy. “You were six when Judd was sold, Sammy. You didn’t remember a thing. I went to prison and when I came out I was quite content on getting on with things. Then Terry got in touch. Told me that fate had stepped in and brought you two together again. My newfound freedom was suddenly hanging on whether you two made the connection or not. And of course, then Judd had to delve. And he found it all.” He looked from Anderson to me and shook his head. “Have you any idea what prison is like?”
Before he could say another word, Anderson flew for him. Ivan’s chair fell backwards and the skin of his throat was clamped in Anderson’s fist. “You think prison was rough, you sick bastard? You have no fucking idea what being locked up even means! Twenty fucking years those cunts used and abused me, and for the rest of my life I will still be locked up inside their hatred. That’s imprisonment, Ivan! Not a few measly years behind bars with food in your gut, a bed to sleep on every night, and an hour’s fresh air in your lungs every day. I never even knew what the sun on my face felt like, or how sweet fresh air tasted. Your own daughter went hungry for so long that she will never again feel a full belly! Your sick fuckin
g sidekick raped her at seven years old. You all ruined something so very precious. But I swear to you now, I will do everything in my damn power to erase you from her life. I will never take a full breath again until Kloe learns to love who she really is. She isn’t Samantha, and as much as I wanted her to accept her too, I have finally realised that Samantha died a long time ago. Kloe was born from your daughter’s pain and misery. Samantha gave her the strength of her soul. She gave her the courage in her spirit, and she gave her the love in her heart. She carries them, but by God, she will never again know the pain and destruction that you forced upon her!”
I swallowed and sat still as Anderson’s fists imploded my father’s face. His violent punches crushed my father’s breastbone, and his ruthless brutality took my father’s very last breath.
I watched. I sat in silence, forcing my eyes to see every single bit of Anderson’s rage. I witnessed the end with a full heart, Anderson’s declaration telling me what I had always suspected. That he loved me.
A smile rested on my lips as Samantha Rowan was finally laid to rest.
This time it was me who bathed and cared for the man who granted my soul peace. He was quiet and subdued, lost in his own thoughts as I was lost in mine.
Water trickled down his chest when I squeezed the sponge over him. He sat between my thighs, the warmth of the water around us breaking through the chill that had settled in our bones.
“You think it’ll ever be over, Kloe?” Anderson asked, unexpectedly.
“Only if you let it. They’re gone now. All of them. There’s only you and me and our child left to dictate where our lives go from here.”
He nodded. “And where do we go from here?”
“Anywhere we want to. Judd and Samantha have been laid to rest. It’s about time we honoured their short lives. Don’t let their pain become worthless.”
He turned, sliding onto his knees before me. The water splashed around us when he grabbed me and pulled me onto his thighs and straight onto his hard cock.
Chained (Caged Book 2) Page 12
