Air rushed from my lungs as pleasure ran through my veins. My head fell back and Anderson captured the flesh on my neck with his teeth. When blood started to trickle down my skin he caught it on his tongue and kissed me with a passion that would soon overwhelm me.
The taste of Anderson and blood on my tongue made my whole body tremble with need. His tongue twisted around mine as his hands gripped my waist and he lifted and lowered me slowly onto him.
My heart swelled with the look of tenderness in his eyes, his gaze fixed on every bit of the pleasure he was granting me.
He made love to me for the very first time, and I never wanted it to end. I wanted to feel the closeness of his soul forever. I wanted to feel his heart beat alongside mine for eternity.
“I love you so much, Anderson,” I whispered, begging that he felt every bit of my declaration in his soul.
His hands moved from my waist and slid up my sides until he framed my face. I took control, moving over him just as slowly as he had directed me. The gentle friction of his cock inside me brought my orgasm quickly and sharply, the tremble in my bones making me cry out his name.
He thrust hard and deep, spilling inside me with my own name rushing from his lips.
His face buried into the crook of my neck as my arms slid around him. “Kloe,” he whispered, and it wasn’t until his body started to shake that I realised he was crying.
Grief had a funny way of showing itself at the strangest of times. And Anderson’s rocked him with a ferocity that took the breath from his lungs and the strength from his soul.
I held him tighter, holding onto him while he let go. I pleaded with him to use me, to take what I offered him.
“You’re okay,” I told him. “You survived this. You survived it all. The future is ours, Anderson. It’s all ours, and we’re going to live it.”
He lifted his face to mine, his beautiful glistening green eyes reflecting back the love he would never speak of. His thumb swiped at my own tears, and he placed it to his lips and tasted my love in its most physical form.
“Marry me,” he whispered.
Shock didn’t actually cover it. I stared with huge eyes as a smile took his misery and annihilated it.
“You speak of our future, Kloe, and all I see is you and our baby. That’s my future. Family. When you walked into my hospital room four years ago I felt it then, the connection we had. Our souls had always been linked with a bond that proved to be unbreakable. And once again we found each other. Our souls are never complete without one another, and they will forever hunt for each other.”
“Yes,” I whispered. I hadn’t even had to think about it. My soul had already decided for me.
His smile turned into the widest grin possible, lighting up his handsome face. I soaked the image up, using it to fuel my heart.
“And then you can take me somewhere hot and tranquil,” I informed him with a huge smile of my own. “God damn, I think we deserve a holiday.”
He laughed, nodding in agreement. “That we do, my little wolf. That we do.”
Present Day
PERFECTION.
The soft light skipped over her pale skin, highlighting each scar and making them dance for me. Her soft but full body swung in the ropes before me, her large round belly caressed in my hands, my fingers spread over the stretched skin.
My boy kicked me, telling me he knew I was there.
Kloe smiled, the blue of her eyes glistening with tears of delight. She was so amazingly beautiful when she was happy. And I’d given her that. I was the one who had filled her womb with what she craved, what she had once only ever dreamed of.
Crashing my mouth to hers, she moaned into me, the small puff of air flickering across my tongue and making me hunger for her even more.
“I love you,” she whispered against my lips. Her eyes were fixed on mine, the declaration of her words reflected back at me through her gaze. “I love what you do to me, Anderson. What you’ve given me.”
She waited. Like always.
Her soft lips moved with the touch of a gentle smile. “Even now.” She sighed. “Even now, after it all, you still can’t say it, can you?”
Blood filled my heart, making the next beat painful. I knew I loved her. I knew without a single doubt that she was the only thing that allowed my heart to beat. Yet my soul wouldn’t allow it. Even now.
She sucked in a breath, her eyes closing in ecstasy as I drew the tip of the blade between her breasts, slicing her with such delicacy that even the rush of blood to the surface was lazy and serene. “This….” I ran the blade over more skin, observing the fog of pleasure roll across her pretty face. “…This is all I can give you, Kloe.”
My cock slid between her closed thighs and I used the friction to give me the stimulation I needed. She swung in the harness and I lifted her legs around my waist, steadying her to me. Her huge belly pressed against mine, the trickle of blood smearing between our touching skin, but that only added to my excitement.
Kloe was mine in every way. And what she carried in her was mine. For the first time in thirty years, something belonged to me.
“You know I’ll never let you go, don’t you?” I breathed into the softness of her neck, nipping her skin with my teeth until the familiar taste of copper tingled on my tongue.
Her head fell to the side and she huffed. “And you know I’ll never let go. Never.”
She cried out, her eyes snapping open when I drove my cock inside her. Her walls gripped me like a vice, an act to verify her promise, as her legs tightened around my body. “Never,” she repeated as I started to plunge in and out of her with a fury I couldn’t keep up with.
Only when I was inside her, in the very depths of my wife, did I ever feel complete. Her love, her passion - they soaked me from the inside out, and electrified every one of my senses with feelings.
“Harder,” she cried. “Hate me, Anderson. Hate me!”
“Never!” I hissed through the clench of my jaw, my teeth catching the edge of my tongue and making me shudder.
“Yes,” she cried as she bucked her body against me greedily. “I need it. Please.”
Darkness bubbled in her eyes when I crushed her windpipe under my fingers, the frolic of her pulse beneath my palm making my balls jerk in delight.
“Yes!” she spat through the restriction on her voice box. “YES!”
Driving harder into her, a single tear seeped from the corner of her eye.
“My little wolf,” I growled as I slammed harder, shaking her in the ropes.
She winced and wrenched forwards, her face contorting in pain. She loved pain; it brought her to life, fed the need in her for retribution. Helped her to bury her past.
But this was different.
A shock of agony made her jaw drop and her eyes squeezed closed.
“Anderson…”
Her eyes rolled and I pulled out of her, quickly cutting the ropes. She fell into me, a fierce groan turning into a scream of pain as she doubled over. She dropped to her knees, her arms covering her fat belly as another horrific wail broke from her.
“Anderson…”
“Kloe?”
Blood. It was everywhere. Pooling over the concrete and spreading like a river around her, seeping over the pale grey floor and turning the basement into the epitome of hell it had always been.
“No!”
“I…” she choked out as vomit hurled from her, spraying me with the sickly stench. “Please…”
He’d won.
As I looked down at my wife losing consciousness in my arms and my son losing his life before me. I knew. I knew he’d won. After everything.
He’d won.
Even in death.
The door opened and Robbie rushed in. He was out of breath, his face puce with exertion. “How is she?”
I shook my head, once again glancing at the clock on the wall that never seemed to tick forward. “Nothing yet.”
“How long as she been in surgery?” Rob asked as he
took the chair beside me and took a drink from my bottle of water.
“Three fucking hours.”
“Surely there should be some word by now! What happened?”
“I don’t know. We were fucking. We’ve fucked a thousand times, Rob…”
“Hey.” He squeezed my hand. “This isn’t your fault.”
“Isn’t it? I was pretty rough with her.”
“You’re always rough with her.” He smiled. “Sex isn’t at fault and neither are you. The doctors will no doubt verify that, Anderson.”
“They already did,” I grumbled. “They asked me what happened and a nurse assured me it wasn’t anything we had done, although she did look at me like I’m a fucking leper when she asked about the various cuts on Kloe’s skin. I have no doubt that when she wakes they’ll be fucking questioning her about it. Either that, or she won’t wake up and the fucking coppers will be the next to fucking question me!”
“Calm down,” Rob urged. “She’s going to be fine. She’s tough. It’s Kloe. She needs to be tough to be married to you.”
I gulped. My heart hurt. Regret ached at every part of me. I loved her. I always had, yet I hadn’t ever had the fucking courage to tell her that. A part of me had thought that if I said it out loud then she’d be taken from me, like everything else I had loved in my life had been. And what if it was too damn late? Too late for her to ever know how I felt about her?
“Why couldn’t I have just told her, Rob? Why did I have to be so damn selfish?”
“It isn’t selfish to be scared, Anderson. Kloe knows how you feel about her. Whether you’ve said the words or not, she knows. She sees it in you every day. She feels it in the way you touch her, the way you treat her like the fucking princess you do.”
I smiled. Kloe insisted she hated the way I took care of her, but I saw the love shining back at me every time I lifted her in my arms and carried her up the stairs, or the way she giggled when I dressed her every morning. She was too precious to be taken for granted. She’d changed my life in so many ways, and every morning I woke up beside her I felt my heart beat harder and my soul sigh with contentment.
Life had been cruel in every way, but Kloe showed me that it had all been worth it. Every minute I had been tortured, raped and mutilated had been leading me to this point, to the point where our scars came together and created a love so incredibly strong that some days it overwhelmed me with its intensity.
The door opened and a doctor strolled in. Both Robbie and I shot upright.
He gestured for us both to sit. His sombre expression made my gut tighten and I practically fell into the threadbare sofa.
“Mr Cain,” he started with a smile. “Congratulations. You have a healthy little boy.”
I couldn’t ever describe the feeling that filled me. Tears burst free with relief and excitement. Rob grinned at me, pulling me into a hug. “Congratulations, mate. I’m so fucking proud.”
“And my wife?”
The way his expression fell so quickly had my skin prickling with fear. He blinked, and sighed. “Unfortunately, Kloe suffered excessive blood loss, and her heart stopped during surgery.”
The air around me froze. All my organs failed me. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t grasp his words as I said them over and over in my head, trying to make sense of them, and make them say something other than what they did.
“We managed to resuscitate her, but her brain was starved of oxygen for a long time.”
“What are you saying?” Robbie asked when I couldn’t.
“I’m afraid your wife slipped into a coma. I need to inform you that you should brace yourself for the worst. Her organs are failing, Mr Cain. Her body is shutting down.”
I stood staring at Kloe for an age. I couldn’t move further towards her. So many tubes entered and exited her body, machines beeped a rhythm that was already making my head ache, and the mass of flashing lights hurt my eyes.
A thin white sheet covered her body and she looked strange without her large belly.
Forcing myself forward, I took the chair beside her bed and slipped my hand into hers.
“Hey,” I whispered. “You did so well, little wolf. We have a healthy son.”
I gulped, willing her eyes to open, or for her fingers to twitch. For any sort of reaction from her to tell me that she heard me.
“We never chose a name; I need to know what to call him.”
The machines continued to beep, the lights continued to flash, and my wife continued to lay silent and still.
“Kloe.” I fought to control my emotions and shifted in the chair. My nose started running and I sniffed. “Please. I… Why is it suddenly so hard to talk to you? Open your eyes, baby. I need to see your eyes.”
I hated the tears that blistered my cheeks, but I couldn’t stop them. They were rampant and fast, torturing me.
“You’ve always been there,” I professed with a whisper. “We were best friends, Kloe, from the very beginning. Even when we were apart we were always with each other. We always found each other.”
I lifted her hand to my mouth, softly kissing the ridge of her knuckles. “What if I don’t find you again? What if you go up and I go down? What then? What if…”
I clamped my mouth closed, the pain that was tearing up my throat making it difficult to talk. Every fibre of me screamed in pain and I hissed when a forbidden sob tore from my lips, my despair vocal and loud.
“Kloe, please,” I begged, tightening my grip on her hand. “You promised me you’d never leave me. You promised. You always lie to me!” I yelled in devastation, my soul screaming alongside me. “Our son needs you. I need you, little wolf. I can’t… I can’t do this without you, without your love, and your smile, and your beautiful fucking eyes that find me every morning. I don’t ever want to wake up again if you’re not there beside me.”
The machines continued to beep, the lights continued to flash, and my wife continued to lay silent and still.
“I’m so sorry, for everything. I made it so hard. In the beginning. You have to know that I never wanted to hurt you, even when I caused you so much pain.”
I was babbling, trying to get everything out. But in the end, only one thing really mattered.
“The day you walked into my room at the hospital I knew you would change my life. I knew. I felt my soul reach out to you. I felt the beat of your heart inside me. I felt every bit of your courage, your strength, and your gentleness. You took my hand in yours that day, and you never let me go.”
The machines continued to beep, the lights continued to flash, and my wife continued to lay silent and still.
“You never mentioned the books I left you when you were in the basement.” I frowned at my own sudden recollection. “I knew you’d like them, because they were my favourites. Even as children, I bet you read to me. I know in my heart that you wiped my tears when I cried and you sang me a soft lullaby to make the pain go away. I feel that, Kloe, in the very centre of my heart.”
My heart wept and I clenched my teeth together when getting out the words became unbearable.
“You always watched over me, little wolf. And I hope to fucking God that you still will. Because I need you. Because if I think for one moment that you’re not here with me then I won’t be able to do this.”
My weeping became silent. My grief became silent. The beat of my heart became silent.
I felt it. Right then. I felt her, and I felt her love surround me. I felt her soul dance with mine, and I felt her pain cease.
I reached up and gently pressed my lips to her forehead, and I closed my eyes.
“I love you, my little wolf. I love you.”
My beautiful Kloe died three minutes later. And my soul died alongside her.
THE SMELL HIT ME AS soon as I pushed the door open, and I grimaced. Mail littered the front door mat and I bent to pick it up, tossing it onto the small table.
The house was dark, all the curtains drawn, and Anderson’s grief making even the shadows conce
al themselves.
I didn’t want to do this, but I had to. It had been four days. Four days of hell that I never wanted to relive again.
Red whined and lifted her head from Anderson’s lap as I slowly walked into the lounge. Her tail wagged once and then she went back to supervising her master.
Numerous whisky bottles were laid about, a couple smashed and the shards of glass crunching under my feet. The ashtray was overflowing and I looked around for any signs of food.
Anderson never acknowledged me. I wasn’t sure if he was comatose or not but he didn’t move.
Anger and grief was a dangerous combination, and I stopped a short distance from him. He was laid out on the sofa, his eyes open but unfocussed. He wore sweatpants and a vest. Days of dirt and vomit clung to the material like a second layer of clothing.
Pulling in a breath, I slowly released it and braced myself. “You need to get up.”
He didn’t move.
“Your little boy needs you, Anderson. He hasn’t even set his eyes on you yet.”
Silence.
So I fisted my hands, steadied myself, and said the one line guaranteed to get a reaction. “What would Kloe think of you?”
My back hit the wall so hard that I swore he had fractured my spine. My lungs squealed in shock when his grip on my throat restricted their deep pull of air. I jumped when his other hand punched a hole through the wall beside my head.
“Kloe – isn’t – here!” he spat. I’d never seen so much rage and hostility in him before. It poured from him like he sweated pure hate, disgust leaking from his pores in abundance.
“No, she isn’t,” I choked around his hold. “But she’s in that little boy who really needs his daddy right now.”
Anderson blinked, rearing back slightly with the shock of my words.
“She lives with you in that little package of love, Anderson. She died to give him life. That isn’t his fault. It isn’t yours either. But it is. And it fucking stinks. But it is!”
His teeth snapped together and he shook his head. “But… she’s dead because he’s alive.”
Chained (Caged Book 2) Page 13
