Expecting exactly that, I nodded. “Yeah. But then, you could also say Kloe’s dead because you’re alive.”
The sharp words from my tongue hurt me as much as they did my best friend. His eyes widened in horror.
“Ivan would have killed you all those months ago, Anderson. Kloe fixed it. You would have imploded in terror if she hadn’t taken your hand when you left the Dawson’s farmhouse. Kloe fixed you. After Terry took her, Kloe fought with everything to keep your son alive. You created that little boy as much as she did. She didn’t get pregnant alone, Anderson. He was in her womb because you put him there!”
My own anger was boiling over and I thrust my face into his, my spit making him blink.
“HE’S YOUR SON! YOUR BABY!”
His head shook as tears fell from him.
“And he’s Kloe’s baby. He holds her soul, her spirit, her blood and her fucking strength. And now it’s about time you found yours!”
I pushed at him, moving his sagging body from mine.
And I walked away.
I OPENED THE WARDROBE DOORS and inhaled. Her scent hit the core of my heart and I closed my eyes, relishing in the small hit.
My eyes drifted over her clothes, my fingers barely touching but feeling so much.
I missed her so much. So very much.
I physically ached everywhere and the crushing pain in my chest refused to go away, tormenting me in its grief.
Red sat beside the bed and whined. She missed her too.
I frowned and turned to see what she was doing when another whimper came from her. She had her nose stuck under the bed, her front paws trying desperately to dig at something.
Bending beside her, I pushed my hand under and retrieved a large brown envelope.
My heart started to gallop when, in Kloe’s handwriting, I saw ‘Samantha Rowan’ was written on the front.
I pulled out the contents and piled them on the bed beside me.
Her birth certificate. Her name change document. Samantha’s christening certificate. A few documents concerning social services administration.
Picking up another item, my breath left me in one single rush.
A photograph. It was tatty and old, the corners bent and dog-eared.
A little boy and a little girl stood against a wall hand in hand. She wore a floaty summer dress full of pretty pink flowers, and the boy wore shorts and a Star Wars t-shirt. The girl beamed with a huge smile and the little boy’s face was turned straight at the camera, a large smile of his own dominant.
A five-year-old ginger-haired girl. And a three-year-old little blonde boy.
Samantha and Judd.
“Oh my God.”
My thumb stroked over their happy smiles and I smiled with them. To say their childhood had been corrupt, they still took comfort in each other and smiled. Their love even then, was prominent and blinding.
Something prickled my senses and I narrowed my eyes on the photo.
Red barked in surprise when I shot off the bed and ran into the office.
Quickly scanning the photo, I then brought it up larger on the screen.
“Holy shit.”
Something in my head clicked, and I grabbed the photo from the scanner. Turning it over, as if to verify the truth, I read the words on the back.
‘Sam and Judd, aged 5 and 3’
It was definitely Samantha and Judd.
Except the photo of the little boy wasn’t me. Judd had brown eyes and his blonde hair was almost white.
I had piercing green eyes… and a small but significant birth mark on my upper thigh.
The little blonde boy did not.
Had Kloe known all along that I wasn’t Judd Asher? Had she known when she’d walked into that hospital room that I wasn’t the best friend she’d lost so many years ago?
And if I wasn’t Judd, then who the hell was I?
I’d been standing for thirty-eight minutes, staring into the small plastic crib.
My feet wouldn’t move, my heart wouldn’t beat, and my hands shook so hard that I thought I was having a seizure.
“Mr Cain?” A small chubby nurse dipped her face into my line of sight and smiled.
I nodded, quickly glancing at her before I moved my eyes back into the tiny bowl that contained my son.
He was wrapped up tight in a blue blanket. His head full of strawberry blonde hair made my breath catch.
The nurse, quickly sensing my rapidly depleting resolve, gently placed her hand on my arm. “He’s such a good little thing. He’s so very quiet but pulls the funniest faces. We’ve all fallen in love with him.”
Something tugged at my heart. Seemed he took after his mother with the funny faces then.
“Would you like to hold him?”
My lip popped under the pressure of my teeth, but before I could run, I gave a short nod.
She ushered me into a chair so quickly that I knew she was also debating how fast my feet could run.
Within moments my arms were full and the nurse stepped back out of sight.
I froze.
My throat hurt.
And the pain in my chest was fucking torture.
He had such long eyelashes, and they rested on the tops of his cheeks like little sweeping brushes. He was a weight, more than I’d anticipated, and when his eyes slowly opened and tiny green orbs glared straight at me, the pain that had been ever-present in my soul stabbed at my heart. The pain inside me bled out in tears and sobs, the little guy in my arms staring straight at me as if he forced me to feel every bit of agony and despair.
But then he sucked in his bottom lip and blinked.
“So like your bloody mother,” I choked out, trying for anger but only managing a soft smile. His head moved faintly to the side as if he was listening to me, and his hand wriggled out of the blanket cocoon and thrust into my face.
He captured my finger as soon as I touched the wrinkled palm of his hand, and he clamped hold of me as if telling me I couldn’t run anymore.
I wouldn’t run.
I would never run.
“This is gonna be hard,” I whispered as I stared at the perfect creation Kloe had gifted me before finding her peace. “Probably more for me than you.” I chuckled.
I swiped at my tears and sniffed.
“But, I think… I think we’ll be okay, little guy.” I frowned, and then smiled. “Sam.”
His lips twitched, telling me he liked that name very much.
I felt her hand on my shoulder and I lowered my face to rub my cheek against her.
I nodded at Sam and smiled. “Shall we let her go? Shall we let Mummy be happy?”
Her hold on me left and I felt the faintest brush of her lips across my cheek as I bent to place a kiss to Sam’s forehead. “I love you. I’ll always love you, Sam. I’m telling you now because you need to hear it. And you need to hear it every day. And if for some insane reason I don’t say it one day then you need to make me say it. I never said it enough, and although your momma knows, words make it louder.”
His eyes closed and he snuggled up against me, pushing himself into my soul along with the remnants of his mother’s.
Seven weeks later, the private investigator I had hired delivered an envelope. An envelope with his findings on the Dawson family.
Two weeks later, the remains of five-year-old Judd Asher were dug up from the grounds around the Dawson’s farmhouse.
I was born to Hank and Mary Dawson three years before Judd was sold to them. I wasn’t even registered. I was an unknown. A boy born from evil and debauchery.
Judd’s belongings and evidence of the sale had been found in the farmhouse when I’d been discovered. It was presumed, as no DNA verification was available, that I was Judd.
Sam and I made sure to visit Judd’s grave every time we visited Kloe’s. And every time Sam would look at the small dog-eared photograph and tell me that his mummy was in heaven with her best friend.
Kloe had given me so much. Once, all I had had was pa
in. It was all I had lived for; all I had felt. But then she’d walked into my life and showed me there was so much more to feel. Love. Trust. Gentleness. Hope. She had uncaged me, she had unchained me, and she had taught me that it’s okay to be loved, and give it back. And in the end she had given me her very soul. I felt her inside our little boy so many times over the coming years. The way his eyes lit up and the sound of his laughter was so very like his mother’s. His strength and his courage was a gift only Kloe could give him. And the way he adored me for both him and his mum was enough to fill my own heart and soul.
And I made sure to give him enough love from the both of us.
If my life had taught me anything, it was to love, and to say it as often as possible.
The End
Coming Soon
Bane
Memphis, book 1
An erotic thriller
By D H Sidebottom
Milly Evans has been PA to the head of Sparrow Towers for over eight years. And Milly loves her job. Her boss is the most affectionate and compassionate man she’s ever known. Geoffrey Sparrow’s high profile status and company prestige never changed the old man, and with his and Milly’s love for his respected company, their relationship gave them both something to cherish in the workplace and build an even better future for themselves and all Sparrow’s employees.
That is until her boss is brutally murdered and Milly witnesses the whole horrifying ordeal.
And then everything changes.
Warne Industries has been trying to snatch Sparrow Towers for years, their snide underhand ways not once swaying her much loved boss.
And now they are quick to move in and take what they always wanted – Milly included.
Yet, one of the CEOs of Warne Industries who had been hiding behind the anonymity of his partner turns out to be the best friend Milly had left behind years ago, Rik Bane. However, everything she used to love about Rik is gone, and in his place is an arrogant and cruel man, a man Milly no longer recognises.
His new ways, his coldness and the way he sneers down his nose at Milly give her many reasons to flee her new employers. Yet, driven by her love for Geoffrey and his resolve to create a traditional company, Milly is determined to stay and make sure his lifetime’s commitment isn’t torn to shreds and fed to the lions’ piece by piece.
Now Milly’s past, her secrets and the lies she had told to protect herself and everyone around her is suddenly about to blow wide open.
But when it surfaces that Milly is a witness to her boss’ murder, she’s soon running for her life, and the only man that can help her stay alive is Rik.
Out Now
An erotic thriller
After her mother abandoned her when she was just a child, Dove fled the only life she’d known with her younger sister, Serenity, frightened that the authorities would tear them both apart.
Leaving behind a life of poverty and constant hardship with the group of travellers she had grown up with, Dove has no choice but to turn to a life of debauchery and crime to feed their bellies and provide them with shelter and security.
Fast forward ten years and life is now so very different for Dove. Her once best friend and fellow traveller, Flick O’Kane, now a Hollywood star, appoints Dove to accompany him to a charity ball, unaware just who exactly his companion really is.
Both their lives come together in an explosion of sex, drugs and secrets. The friendship they once held close is about to be tested when their past threatens to rip them both apart and endangers not just their own lives but the very life Dove has broken her own soul for – Serenity’s.
*This is a standalone book recommended for ages 18+. It contains scenes of sex, violence and substance abuse.
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I would watch him watch the ocean. He would build fires and sit, all night waiting.
For her. For his dead wife.
She never came. I never expected her to. But he did. And he never let go.
Even when I fell in love with him he never let go.
Until the night of the storm. The night my worst nightmares came to life.
And I lost everything to her when she finally returned.
For us both.
This book contains scenes of sex and substance abuse.
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The Bunk Up
A Romantic comedy from Andie M. Long & D H Sidebottom
Daisy Harlow discovers her long-term boyfriend isn’t contemplating a proposal but rather how to get his mistress out of the house before she gets home. As if things can’t get any worse, broken-hearted Daisy gets fired from her job at the Post Office.
Stuck living with her best friend and tormented by three children under the age of five, Daisy needs a fresh start and she needs it fast. Enter her least favourite customer Mrs Haversham. Daisy finds herself offered a few weeks away in Mrs H’s country cottage in Norfolk. Time to recharge her batteries and think of her future. Thank goodness Mrs H’s son is married though, she can do without her matchmaking efforts.
So who’s the dark haired hottie currently occupying a bedroom of the cottage? He says he’s Mrs H’s other son. One Daisy knows nothing about.
It all leads to a Bunk-Up, a sharing of the cottage and each other.
It’s not like either of them is looking for anything serious. Is it?
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Chained (Caged Book 2) Page 14
