Flawed Beauty

by Potter, LR

  “Yes, she does. She exists right here,” he said tapping her gently on the forehead.

  He gently enfolded her in his arms and rocked her back and forth as she cried. He pressed kisses against her head and murmured soft words to her in comfort.

  “Shhh. Everything’s going to be okay. We’ll work through this. I love you, Tate.”

  She stilled against him, not even breathing. When she finally began to breathe, it was with short, rapid intakes of air. She pushed against his chest. “No, no no!” she cried. “You can’t love me.”

  Crushing her to him, he whispered into her hair, “But I do.”

  “You should stay with the cowgirl. You deserved to be happy.”

  “I am happy… with you,” he murmured.

  “You deserve a nice girl from a good family.”

  “You are a nice girl,” he chuckled.

  “You can do better,” she whispered.

  “I only want you.”

  She slumped against the door as she ran out of arguments. “I’m… scared.”

  “Me, too,” he whispered, brushing a kiss into her curly, blonde hair.

  Cupping her face, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. She tucked her form up solidly against his, having missed his touch. He slid his hands over her shoulders and surrounded her with the strong embrace of one hand, and wrapped the other around the back of her neck, as he deepened the kiss.

  She reached under his shirt with her good hand, longing to feel the satiny feel of his body once again. He shuddered into her mouth.

  “I need you now. Please don’t say no,” he begged.

  They lay side by side, staring into each other’s eyes, sated and quiet as the waves of passion, and the monsoon of emotions had finally run their course. Idly, Jace ran his fingertips over her back.

  “What happened today?” he asked.

  “Nothing.”

  His fingers paused briefly. “You can trust me.”

  “How much bad stuff can you take before you’ve had enough?” she asked somberly.

  With a small shake of his head, he reached up a hand and pushed her hair off her face. “Tate, you’re confusing things that happened to you, with who you are.”

  “But doesn’t our past make us who we are – mold us, make us?” she replied.

  “Ah, the old nature versus nurture debate,” he grinned. “Well, in that case, I’d say the people who created you and the things in your past have made you strong, determined, smart, and beautiful.”

  Tate rolled onto her back and rested the back of her hand across her eyes. “The night… of my birthday, when Nick was here, he left a copy of the CD he’d made… that night a long time ago.”

  Jace rolled over onto his back. “Had you ever seen it before?”

  “No,” she whispered.

  “…and you watched it?” he guessed.

  “Some of it.”

  “Tate, this isn’t about you. It’s about him being a sick bastard.”

  “It’s more than that. I feel like it’s what I deserve… like it’s my lot in life, or like I can’t expect anything better. That’s why you scare me… you’re better,” she ended on a whisper.

  He rolled over and rose up to look down into her face. “No one deserved what he did or what your parents did to you. And you, my beautiful bombshell, deserve great and wonderful things. And I want to give them to you,” he said, leaning down to press soft lips against hers. “Let me give them to you,” he whispered.

  Chapter 7

  Tate had to admit she liked being part of a couple. It made her feel… normal. And while Jace knew all the bad things about her and still stayed with her, she kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. She’d taken her one step forward and was now waiting on the two steps back.

  They’d just gotten back from dinner, had not even made it past his couch before he began stripping her clothes off. They were lucky Sean was on duty until the morning. They were lying on the couch with Jace’s back against the arm of the couch and her back against his naked chest. He had her body surrounded with his arms, making her feel safe, secured, and yes, even loved.

  He picked up one of her curls and gave it a gentle tug. “Hey, I was thinking… you should move in here with me. I think we spend half our time traveling back and forth, when we could be using that time to do… this.”

  She tensed at his words. Not that she wouldn’t love being with him more, but she didn’t trust that dream.

  Grasping at straws she said, “What about Sean?”

  “I talked to Sean and he’s cool with it. We’re hardly ever here at the same time anyway.”

  She hesitated. “I’m not sure. My apartment is close to work and to school. Maybe we should wait a little while longer.”

  Jace cleared his throat a little nervously. “I was also thinking that you could quit your job and just focus on school. I make more than…”

  She sat up and spun around to glare at him. “Are you kidding? I can’t quit my job. And you are so not supporting me. I’m not a charity case. I can take care of myself,” she declared.

  He lifted his hands in surrender. “I know, I know. I wasn’t insinuating anything different. I’m just selfish and want to be with you all I can.”

  She rose and began to get redressed. “I think we’re fine as we are. Let’s just let things ride for a little while. Eventually, you’ll be done with your internship here and who knows where you’ll end up. I only have a few more months of college then I’ll be done, and who knows after that.”

  He studied her. “You don’t think we’ll be together, do you?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Damn it, Tate. Why won’t you trust me? Trust us?”

  “I do,” she said, even though they both knew she was lying. “I just don’t see why we have to rush into something. I’m happy. Aren’t you happy?” she said, turning the tables back on him.

  He stood in all his glorious nakedness and Tate still couldn’t believe this gorgeous creature had chosen her… said he loved her. He pulled her into his arms. “I’m deliriously happy, Tate. I just want it all. I love you.”

  Rubbing her hands against the naked skin of his back, she said, “I love you, too.”

  “Okay, if you won’t move in with me, how about going somewhere with me over Spring Break? I have a few days of vacation coming and can surely use the break.”

  “I don’t know. I need to work.”

  “Tate, this is what we call a compromise. We’ll only go for a few days. What do you say?”

  “Can I think about it without you thinking it’s a big trust issue?” she jested.

  “Let me know soon,” he said, leaning down to grab the hem of the shirt she’d just slipped on. “I think you have way too many clothes on…”

  §§§

  At his prodding, Tate finally agreed to go away with him for Spring Break. She was excited about having Jace all to herself for a few uninterrupted days at the end of week.

  It was Sunday afternoon and Tate was lying across her bed on her stomach with her feet kicked up, reading about shutter speeds and the aperture of the lens for her last photography class, when she heard Jace calling her name from kitchen.

  “In here,” she yelled.

  In seconds, the most gorgeous man on the planet appeared in her doorway. Jace was still dressed in his scrubs, and Tate cringed at the dark circles under his eyes. Maybe it would be better if she just moved in with him. He was always working and his shifts were so bizarre.

  “Hey, I thought you had to work,” she said, rising up on her knees.

  “I’m between shifts.”

  “Why aren’t you home, getting some sleep?”

  “Because I’ve got a craving,” he grinned.

  “A craving for what?”

  Tate noticed a white grocery bag in his hand the instant before he crawled up on the bed, causing her to fall backwards until he was leaning over her.

  Cupping her face, he growled, “You.”


  Without any more preamble, he licked into her mouth in the special way he did that was an instant turn-on for her. Running her hands up his back, she grabbed at the curls clinging to the ends of his hair and crushed his lips to hers. Through her yoga pants, she could feel the full extent of his arousal and she rubbed against him wantonly. This is what this beautiful man did to her – made her go from zero-to-infinity in less than a minute. She tried to pull him back down to her when he attempted to rise. Lifting, he gazed down at her with her blonde curls scattered away from her face, her tawny eyes glazed with passion, and her lips reddened by his lips.

  “God. I can’t think about anything but making love to you. It’s darn inconvenient at times.”

  “Good to know. Now, quit talking so much about it and show me,” she invited.

  “Mmmm. I plan to,” he said, rising from the bed and undressing. She quickly removed her clothing as well. She watched him curiously when he reached down and grabbed the bag from the floor. Her eyebrows rose in confusion when he lifted a bottle of chocolate syrup from the bag. With his hand, he swept her books and papers onto the floor before climbing back onto the bed with a salacious grin.

  Once he’d finished licking all the chocolate from her body – slowly and devilishly – he’d made delicious and unhurried love to her, showing with words and deeds how special she was to him. He surrounded her with his body, his attention, and his desire. Pushing her higher and higher until she’d cried out her love for him. Slowly, he’d brought them back down until they lie panting and sticky from the residue of chocolate clinging to their slick, sweat-coated skin. They’d taken a shower together and now she lay on her side with him draped over her from behind. It was calm now… sated… and quiet.

  Tate lay perfectly still, not wanting to disturb her sleeping prince. It scared her a little to think her whole world was attached to the arms wrapped around her. Would the fact that she’d had this with him keep her sane when he left her? She wasn’t so sure. While she trusted him more than she’d ever trusted anyone, experience had taught her long ago that eventually he’d be snatched from her grasp. That’s why she’d learned not to cling too tightly. She accepted gratefully all he wanted to give, but she never asked for more – didn’t expect any more.

  From behind her, she heard him murmur close to her ear, “What’cha thinking about?”

  “How lucky I am,” she replied softly.

  She heard him growl behind her and she smiled.

  Exhaling deeply, he said, “I’ve got to go back to work.”

  She clamped down on her disappointment, happy for the moments he spared for her.

  “I’m glad you came by,” she murmured.

  Rising, he rolled her over onto her back, and kissed her tenderly. “Me too,” he whispered.

  He gently brushed the hair from her face, his blue eyes calmer now, his face more rested.

  She grabbed his neck and brought his lips back down to hers. “I love you, Jace Staton.”

  “You’d better, because I’ve got half a bottle of chocolate syrup with your name on it,” he smirked.

  “Good to know,” she murmured against his lips.

  §§§

  It was Saturday night – Saturday night at Zeal’s – the Saturday night which jump-started Spring Break – enough said. It was crazy, beyond crazy. Tate had been running wildly for four hours and she was tired. The whole week had been insane. She’d had huge projects due in almost every class and she’d had days of little to no sleep. She was selfishly glad Jace had worked today, so she could catch a nap after her self-defense class this morning. The college kids were in high gear and really charged.

  So far, Tate had two pitchers of beer spilled on her, one that was sitting on her tray and knocked over when a fight broke out, and the other was knocked over on the table and drenched her pants and shoes. Now every time she took a step, her shoes squished. The only highlights were when she’d catch Jace’s eye and he’d give her his devilishly sexy smile – the one he reserved just for her. She couldn’t wait to take him upstairs and strip his clothes off with her teeth.

  It was nearly ten when Internal Heat reached the end of their first set. As always, Jace picked up the microphone and slowed the tempo. He was singing Bruno Mars again tonight. Tate loved it when he sang that song, as it reminded her of their first dance together. Even in the chaos of people and noise, Tate’s feet seemed to stop on their own as he sang. His voice was soft and sexy, and it sizzled over her skin, making her want him even more. How had she ever been lucky enough to capture the attention of this man who sang like an angel and made love to her with such devilish abandonment?

  She caught herself checking and re-checking her watch all night. As soon as the bar closed, she’d have that sexy man all to herself – at least until he had to go to work the next morning. Apparently, he was excited as well, as throughout the night he would show up out of nowhere, wrap his arms around her, and pull her into his hard body for a quick kiss or to whisper something naughty in her ear. He was flirting with her and she liked it. She felt the door to her heart creep open. Maybe they could make this work.

  She was standing at the bar, waiting on Thor to fill her order, and humming to herself. Canned music was currently playing, as the band was on their last break before their last set.

  “Who’s that?” Thor asked her, indicating with a nod of his head, someone in the direction of the stage.

  She turned just in time to see Jace hug a scantily-clad woman tightly. While women constantly threw themselves at him, Jace was usually very careful to keep his distance. Tate felt all her insecurities rise up at once, as when the hug ended, he continued to have his hands on her forearms and smile with delight down into her upturned face. The woman with the long, dark hair had her hands on his muscular forearms and lightly stroked them. There was an air of familiarity between them. Tate’s unease continued to grow.

  She turned back to Thor. “I don’t know… yet,” she said with a grin to mask her true unease from Thor.

  For the entirety of the break, Jace and the woman stood close together, talking and laughing. The woman continuously reached out a hand to touch his arm, his face, or to brush his hair away from his face. Tate felt her stomach quiver with anxiety and pent-up fury. She longed to launch herself across the room and demand to know who this woman was. But years of insecurity trumped her anger. Being who she was and knowing how lucky she was to have any part of Jace, she kept her distance. She was nothing and he was… well, everything.

  She breathed a sigh of relief when the band began to play and Jace excused himself from the dark-haired beauty. While she tried to put it out of her mind, her gaze continued to seek out the woman. She sat in front of the band and Tate recognized the look in the woman’s eyes. It was the same look she had when she looked at Jace… love, want, and desire.

  She was at a table taking an order when a girl at the table said, “Oh my God, she is so lucky!”

  Tate turned to see what the girl meant and froze. The dark-haired beauty was standing on the stage with Jace, holding a microphone. Jace was also holding a microphone and they were holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes as the band began to play a soft, slow song. Together they sang an old song about love and regret. While Tate didn’t want to admit it, the woman could sing. She watched Jace stare intently into the woman’s eyes as he sang and her heart clenched in her chest. Her head began to buzz and it was then she realized she’d been holding her breath. She turned her head away and darted out the front door to catch her breath. She stayed outside until the song ended. She sucked in long, deep breaths, striving to calm her riotous emotions. Who was that woman? And what did she mean to Jace? Hurt and betrayal flared inside her. She slipped on her impassive mask and reentered the nightclub.

  As the band had just completed their last set, canned music once again filled the air. Tate made a conscious effort to look anywhere but at the stage area. She went around to her tables and took orders and removed
the empties.

  She was back at the bar waiting on Thor to fill her order, when she felt the surge of energy that occurred anytime Jace was close to her. She turned her head to find him walking up with the dark-haired woman at his side. Tate turned back to the bar and closed her eyes at the pain of seeing Jace with his hand at the curve of the woman’s elbow. It seemed… intimate.

  He placed his other hand on her arm. She tensed and swallowed before plastering a smile on her lips and turning to him. “Hi,” she said inanely.

  He leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead. “Hey, baby. I want to introduce you to an old friend from home.”

  She took a steadying breath before turning to look at the woman attached to Jace’s hand. The woman was even more beautiful close up. Her long, dark hair was smooth and straight. Her impossibly dark eyes were fringed with equally impossibly long eyelashes. She was stunning. Knowing how she must look after having two pitchers of beer spilled on her and having waited tables all night, Tate lifted a hand to try and smooth the hair away from her face.

  She smiled at the woman and waited for Jace to make the introductions. “Tate, this is Brittany Alexander.” Turning to Brittany, he said, “Britt, this is my girlfriend, Tate Morgan.”

  Brittany Alexander? As in his old girlfriend who’d cheated on him with his brother? Images of Jace and Brittany kissing and groping each other flitted across her mind and she immediately sought to dampen them.

  “Welcome to Zeal’s,” Tate said.

  The woman’s beautiful face broke into a smile, showing perfect, white teeth. “Thanks, this is quite a place.”

  Jace touched her arm to gain her attention. “Brittany just finished law school and is on her way back to West Palm. She stopped by to surprise me,” he said in way of explanation.

  “You’re a very lucky girl. I let this gorgeous man slip through my fingers. Hopefully, you’ll have more sense than I had,” Brittany said with a laugh.