Between Two Minds: Revelation

by D C Wright-Hammer

  Tony sat in the chair and looked me in the eye. “Now, let’s talk about how you’re feeling…how you’re really feeling. This will help bring Charlie closer to the fore in preparation for the procedure. As I ask you questions, let your thoughts wander to the farthest reaches of your brain. Say everything that comes to mind. Don’t overthink it. Does that make sense?”

  I had just one question. “When will we discuss Charlie’s condition?”

  He hesitated for the slightest moment and smiled slowly. “I’m glad you asked. I’ll go over a few preliminary questions first. Is that okay?”

  “Sure.”

  His grin receded, and he cleared his throat. “Great. Then, let’s begin. This morning at breakfast. Was that legitimate exuberance? Or was it the emotional calm before the storm?”

  I thought about it for a few moments, then realized I was going against his instructions. “It was probably a little of both. Honestly, I think I’ve gotten selfish the last few months without Charlie. Considering what Helen and I have been through, I don’t feel so bad about it. We had to look out for ourselves. But after sleeping on it, I know I must compromise moving forward. This is his body, and I’m happy to share it with him. It’s the least I could do.”

  The computer chattered a bit.

  Tony nodded. “That’s a good perspective. What would you say your most concrete memories are of Charlie?”

  “Most concrete memories of Charlie? Hm.” I took a deep breath and thought back. “He was driving around the Padre, and they would end up in dark places to do dark jobs. At a certain point, he realized he was an accomplice to human organ trafficking. I’ve always thought he was simply conflicted about the work. But it’s obvious now that he was really ashamed of it.”

  At this point, noise was steadily coming from the computer terminal.

  Tony tapped a couple keys. “Make sure to breathe, Ryan. Now, how do those experiences make you feel as you think about them now?”

  Charlie’s memories may have been intense, but I had come to accept them for what they were, and who he was. To some degree, I even appreciated the way in which they opened my eyes to the world. Still, his feelings must have rubbed off on me because there was only one descriptor that came to mind.

  “Regret.”

  The computer interrupted its consistent racket with a high-pitched squeal.

  Tony’s eyes became wide. “That’s interesting.” He entered more inputs into the computer. “Finally, what do you think the biggest challenge will be living with Charlie?”

  Although he hadn’t had many options at the time, Charlie’s permission to use his body seemed genuine. He was content in letting go. As a result, bringing him back would mean that I would have let go of the control that I had only gained because of the migration. I would have to trust Charlie to respect me and my life, and obviously I would have to do the same for him. That had to be the biggest challenge, and that was what I would say to Tony.

  However, the question sparked something else inside of me. I was always uneasy before every major procedure. Even as a kid, I wanted to throw up before being sedated. So, it was fitting that the nerves would be there in the 11th hour prior to bringing Charlie back. But this was different. I wasn’t scared of Charlie. I wasn’t scared of the procedure. Honestly, it wasn’t Charlie with whom I had trust issues. As my thoughts sifted through what was possibly frightening me, I focused back on Tony. It became clear.

  The terminal blared rhythmic screeches.

  “Trust is my biggest issue.”

  Tony’s eyes darted back and forth between the screen and me as I finished my sentence.

  …I don’t trust you, Tony. What are you doing?

  Only no words came from my mouth. The more I tried to say anything, the stranger I felt. I looked around the room, and everything was in slow motion.

  No! I stood up.

  Tony tried to back away, but I lunged forward, grabbing him by the neck. We thudded against the wall, and I had every intention of squeezing the life out of him, but I could feel myself getting weaker by the second.

  No! Helen! It’s a trap! You’ve got to get out of here!

  But the warning was only in my head.

  “I’m sorry, Ryan. I didn’t want it to be this way, but it’s for everyone’s safety.” Tony took my hands off his neck and grabbed me around my waist. He gently set me back on the bed. My vision was blurred, and I could feel myself sinking back.

  “We didn’t have any other choice, but…” His voice trailed off as my view faded to black.

  Gasp!

  I awakened to the infinite void. I spun around, and there was nothing. I attempted to walk, but my legs wouldn’t budge. A familiar feeling. I tried to scream, but no sound escaped. Then, I realized I was struggling to breathe.

  Before I could reach full-blown panic, I noticed something bright below me. There was a large, white blob stretched across the nether. I tilted my head to the side, attempting to get a better view. It moved as well. I turned my head the other way, and again, it mimicked my movements. My stomached dropped.

  An inverse shadow?

  It was at that moment that I heard a familiar raspy voice from behind me. “Hello, Ryan.”

  Despite my horrified state, I spun around quickly.

  Ah!

  The unrelenting light seared my eyes, forcing me to throw up my arms in desperation.

  “It’s all right. Your eyes will adjust if you let them.” The hoarseness in his speech had disappeared, and was replaced with a rich, bass tone.

  I shook my head and opened my eyes. My arms gradually descended. My breathing returned to normal. The blurriness faded. Right in front of me, I could see clear as day a colossal man. He must have been three meters tall. My eyes steadily traveled up his impressive torso, and I noticed that his complexion was more like stone than skin. He was powdery white.

  There was no doubting it was him. The white figure that had been with Charlie since his parents were taken. The fiendish thing that had awakened during Cameron Walsh’s speech. The ghoulish being that haunted me to no end. Peering up, we made eye contact, and there was something nostalgic about him.

  His stone face…like Easter Island.

  “That’s right, Ryan. You can call me Alabaster.”

  I huffed. You can read my thoughts?

  He nodded.

  How?

  “Isn’t it obvious?” He bellowed. “We’re in here together. I’ve known everything you’ve thought since the moment you arrived.”

  If that was the case, there was something I had to know. Why have you harassed me since the beginning?

  “I saw you as a threat. I’m here to protect Charlie.”

  Protect Charlie? What do you mean?

  His giant stone face smirked. “You’ve seen it for yourself. He often finds himself in bad spots. Then, I have to save the day.”

  Save the day?

  “Yes. I have to do the dirty work to keep him safe.” He paused for a second. “It will make more sense if I just show you.”

  I scowled as Alabaster lifted his enormous stone hand, exposed his palm, and projected light into the abyss. After a moment, the projection stabilized into a rectangular shape, and a holo began to play.

  It was a memory of Charlie as a kid. He was at Gates, walking alone through the hallway. Judging by his age, he’d just arrived at the home for boys. He was trembling as he rounded a corner.

  He ran into the chest of a bigger kid and tumbled to the floor.

  “Hey, dipshit! Watch where you’re going.” The bulbous kid gathered himself. “Wait. You’re the new kid. I’ve been meaning to beat your ass!”

  Charlie laid motionless in shock as he looked up. The kid drew back his leg and let loose right into Charlie’s rib.

  Thud!

  Charlie whimpered, “Ow!”

>   The bully kicked him again.

  “Ow! Stop!”

  It was difficult seeing young Charlie take a beating. No one deserved to be bullied, especially him.

  “Yeah! Keep screaming, you baby!” The boy lifted his elbow and readied it to come down on Charlie’s face.

  Charlie was paralyzed with fear as the chubby kid timbered down like a cedar.

  Alabaster commented, “This is the very first time I helped him.” There was pride in his voice.

  Charlie instantly snapped out of his stupor and dodged the blow. The kid hit the ground with a thud, stunning him. Charlie popped up from the ground and waited for the kid to roll over. Charlie looked him in the eye before launching himself in the air and coming down with his heel to the boy’s mouth. Teeth and blood spewed everywhere, and the kid instantly went unconscious.

  “Charlie!” Mr. Fredrick was flabbergasted. “What the hell have you done?”

  I shook my head. Alabaster interrupted the holo. “There’s more.”

  The memory fast-forwarded to a different kid trying to haze Charlie. Alabaster did worse things to him. And then worse things to another. And even worse things to yet another. Finally, the holo settled on Mr. Fredrick’s office the day Mr. Reno took Charlie home. As Charlie and Mr. Reno were about the leave, Mr. Fredrick leaned in close to Mr. Reno. When I relived the memory months ago, I hadn’t realized that Mr. Fredrick had whispered something. But Alabaster not only saw the exchange, but he had also heard what was said.

  Mr. Fredrick whispered through is teeth, “Work him hard or he’ll get violent on you.”

  The video blurred ahead again. Charlie was washing dishes, exhausted from his countless chores. Once finished, he moved onto laundry and folded three baskets. Then, he vacuumed the entire house, upstairs and down. When he finally finished his list, he sat down in the kitchen and sighed. He was as broken as an eighth grader could be.

  Alabaster chimed in. “I had to save him here too.”

  After a few moments, Charlie rose from the chair and peered out the window. He was confirming that Mr. Reno’s car was not in the driveway. It meant he was still at work.

  Charlie wandered across the house to the hallway. He entered Mr. Reno’s bedroom. Lying on the bed, very ill and weak with Spotted-Lung laid Mrs. Reno. He quietly watched her for a couple of moments before she felt his presence.

  “What do you want, boy?” she wheezed.

  Without emotion, Charlie floated toward the bed and grabbed a pillow beside Mrs. Reno.

  “Boy, what are you doing?” A coughing fit seized Mrs. Reno.

  Charlie lifted the pillow high so that she could process her fate. She uttered her last words with some defiance. “God dammit, get it over with already. It was gonna happen sooner or later.”

  Charlie placed the pillow hard over her face. She struggled very little before it was over.

  Nausea overcame me, but anger kept it in check. What the hell are you showing me?!

  Alabaster put his hand down to fade out the memories. “The truth, Ryan. This is who we are. This is who you are now.”

  I violently shook my head. No! Charlie’s a good man! Why would you make him do those things?

  “Survival. It’s the reason Charlie created me all those years ago. How else was he supposed to make it without parents?”

  The revelations were difficult to swallow. I could feel myself doubting everything that I’d seen with Charlie, and it was a familiar feeling. I always felt like he was hiding things from me.

  Alabaster shook his head. “You’re in here with us. He can’t hide anything from you. What he showed you, he believed to be true. Everything else…is with me.”

  I thought about it a moment, and my shock was replaced with apprehensive curiosity. Are there other things I should see?

  He nodded and raised his arm again. This time, Charlie was in the marines, getting looked at by doctors.

  “Robert, take a look at his brain scans? Have you ever seen readings like this before?”

  Robert eyed the screen. “Run them again, Eric. These can’t be right.”

  “This is my fourth attempt. Always the same results,” Eric pleaded.

  Robert was taken aback. “That’s odd.” He typed into a nearby computer, and a series of green flashes occurred. “All logic tests are passing. No exceptions are being raised. Hm.” He turned from the computer, back to the results screen. “This probably explains why he went AWOL. If this is true, we’ll need to make a report.”

  Charlie finally chimed in. “What’s going on, fellas? Is there something wrong with me?”

  Eric quickly muttered. “No, everything’s fine. I just need to consult with my colleague in private for a moment.”

  The doctors stepped to the other side of the tent. Eric shot a glance at Charlie, and then, back at Robert. He attempted to whisper.

  Charlie thought nothing of it.

  Alabaster listened intently.

  “Remember…the…said?” Robert whispered.

  “About…?” Robert shook his head.

  “If we…anything…unusual, we…him before…any reports.”

  Robert stood still for a moment, then nodded. “…right.”

  Both doctors turned to the computer screen across from them and gave each other the same disturbed look.

  “I would say that this counts as unusual,” Robert muttered louder than he probably intended.

  Alabaster fast-forwarded the scene. “I’m already in control here.”

  Charlie awoke suddenly to the scent of smelling salts. Within a second, it was obvious he was at the warehouse where Sierra and he had discovered the makeshift morgue. He must have passed out on the floor. My guess was that he’d been unable to handle the demented turn that the mission had taken. Sierra was attempting to revive him with the smelling salts.

  It was then that he popped up from the ground and bolted out the back door. He sprinted through the alleys of Quetta where the enemy prowled. Fortunately, Charlie ended up unscathed on his way to the mountains. He took cover between two large boulders, curled up, and went to sleep. He awoke a couple hours later in the dark hours of the morning. No longer in Alabaster’s trance, he’d returned to base.

  A burning question came to mind. Why did you make him run? The mission was over. He wasn’t in any danger.

  He scoffed. “After the doctors got their hands on him, Charlie was perpetually in danger. I was protecting him. I was also protecting myself. They were drugging Charlie so even I couldn’t see what they were doing. But their plans were obvious. They were trying to take control of him, so they could take control of me. The best I could do was run away when I was given the chance. When Charlie woke up from the places I’d taken him, he thought none the wiser and went back to base.”

  Something wasn’t adding up. If Charlie was some kind of secret weapon, why’d they let him out of the marines? Wouldn’t they want to keep him around indefinitely?

  Alabaster nodded. “The experiments on Charlie must have been off the books, even to many high ranking officials on the base. After three failed escape attempts, the doctors got tired of making excuses for Charlie’s behavior. They wrote him off as a failed experiment. Since they had been working off the books, they verified that Charlie had no recollection of anything they’d done to him and allowed him to get honorably discharged.”

  I would never forget the warm feelings Charlie experienced returning home from war. He had doubts, but for the first time in his life, he had pride and dignity. It was everything he needed: reuniting with Sarah, meeting Lucy for the first time, and later, having Joey. It was such a perfect time for them as a family, and the best time of Charlie’s life. It was all the more a shame that veterans weren’t better cared for once they were out. Charlie may have never worked for the Padre if that had been the case.

  I’d gone down that l
ine of thinking thousands of times since Charlie was gone. As a result, another question came to mind. How did Sarah and the kids know about you? You didn’t hurt them too?

  Alabaster’s big stone face scowled. “No. After the long nights of dangerous work for the Padre, I’d take him back to his apartment. For some reason, he’d pass out sprawled across the living room floor. This behavior really scared his family, and Sarah pressed him to see a psychiatrist. That was when they got the diagnosis.

  “Sarah thought that if Charlie quit working for the Padre, the diagnosis wouldn’t matter. She wasn’t completely wrong. In the months and years after Charlie returned from war, it seemed like my work was done, and I went dormant. It wasn’t until his family got sick and times got really rough that he allowed me back in.”

  Seemingly against my own will, I asked another question. Were the rumors true when Charlie worked for the Padre? Did he…you do a lot of terrible things?

  Alabaster nodded. “I had to step in to handle the worst stuff.” He lifted his hand. “I can show you those memories.”

  I waved him off. No. The rumors are enough. When did you figure out he was dealing organs?

  He took a breath. “It was obvious on the very first job. Charlie didn’t want to believe it until he wanted out. Until the Russian job where he told himself he finally saw the product for the first time. It was all an act, but the Padre saw how Charlie reacted to it.”

  I thought about it for a moment, and that led to my final query. Did you make him commit suicide?

  He turned away for a moment. Then, he looked me in the eye. “No. But I didn’t try to stop him. In the end, I know I’m actually just a fractured piece of him. His anguish was palpable. It seemed like the only way to end it.”

  I tried to process everything he’d told me. Then, I attempted to summarize what it all meant. So, Charlie’s schizophrenic?

  Alabaster shook his head. “The shrink called it ‘multiple personalities.’ The doctors called it ‘hyper dissociative identity disorder.’ However, Charlie and I were apparently a unique case. We share his brain but are technically two distinct minds. I am aware of him, and I can interpret his thoughts, but he has always been unable to comprehend me, for the most part. His mind has never ventured into my space…until you arrived.”