What I Saw

by Beck Nicholas

  I laugh. ‘You want me to tell her to lie?’

  ‘If she means anything to you.’

  My hands grip the edge of the bench. ‘This isn’t about Callie, it’s about you. You’re just trying to save your own skin, like the coward you are.’

  He shrugs. ‘I’m just warning you.’

  ‘How very thoughtful of you. You corner my little sister outside the dance then put someone in hospital and now you want me to take the blame. What were you even doing there?’

  ‘I don’t know. The guys …’

  ‘That’s pathetic. I made the choice to defend my sister from you and your scummy friends and I’d make it again. In a heartbeat. Can you say the same about what you did?’

  ‘No.’

  I speak slowly. ‘You did this, Sean. You and your friends are the only ones who did the wrong thing. Instead of looking for other people to take the blame it’s time you stood up and did something you don’t need to be ashamed of.’

  He takes my words like body blows and then he’s gone, running down the street like demons are chasing him.

  Too bad for him he’s being pursued by the kind that don’t shake off easily.

  It takes me longer than I expected to get back to Javier’s place. I worry I’ve missed the doctor’s visit but when I reach the street there’s an unfamiliar car parked out the front.

  My steps slow. I force my feet up the stairs and inside the house. The doctor is speaking to Javier and Scarlett in the kitchen. It’s so light and bright and clean and I feel all grimy from trying to clean up at home. I hesitate at the door.

  ‘You’re here.’ Javier immediately moves to include me. ‘Dr Okely, this is Rhett, Scarlett’s brother.’

  ‘Call me Jan,’ says the woman, offering a smile. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a ponytail and her neat make-up and neater clothes scream professionalism.

  I’m seeing what Callie will look like in a few years. A professional. Everything I’m never going to be.

  ‘Hello,’ I mumble.

  Dr Okely doesn’t seem to mind that I’m not moving into the room. ‘I’ve spent a little time with your mother. The good news is that we don’t need to admit her to hospital today.’

  ‘But?’ I don’t mean to grunt but it’s awfully close.

  ‘We need to do some tests.’

  ‘Expensive ones, I bet.’

  She glances at Javier. ‘We’ve agreed that Mr Vasquez will cover the initial fees.’

  ‘I’ll take it out of your wages,’ he interjects before I can argue.

  My arms cross. ‘When?’

  She checks her diary. ‘We’ll start this week.’

  ‘It’s bad then.’

  Her professional smile doesn’t falter. ‘Your mother’s not well, but I can’t make any diagnosis until we have the test results.’

  ‘But you must have some idea.’ I’ve been there when Javier sends off the test samples for a sick animal, already half-planning treatment because experience has taught him the likely results.

  She nods. ‘I was about to discuss some of the possibilities with your sister. If you’d like to sit down?’

  ‘I’m fine here.’

  Javier stands. ‘I’ll give you some privacy.’

  ‘Stay.’ Scarlett speaks up for the first time. There’s so much fear in that one word and I hate that my presence isn’t enough to alleviate it. ‘Please.’

  Javier looks to me. ‘All right with you?’

  My insistence that we don’t need anyone is crumbling under the weight of whatever the doctor is about to tell us. Scarlett’s eyes plead with me to agree. What can I do?

  ‘It’s fine.’

  ‘I don’t want to worry you,’ Dr Okely begins.

  ‘A bit late for that.’

  Scarlett shoots me a glare.

  ‘Sorry,’ I mumble. I rub at my aching head. I don’t know why I’m blaming this woman. It’s not as though a nagging voice hasn’t been telling me to get Ma checked out for weeks. But I figured maybe if I ignored her tiredness, her complete lack of energy, there wouldn’t be anything wrong.

  There is.

  And I need to man up and face it.

  Only it isn’t easy to listen to the sympathetic note in the doctor’s voice after all that’s happened. I want to head straight for the boxing ring.

  The doctor pats Scarlett’s hand. ‘It’s okay. I understand.’

  I hold my whole body still and listen to her speak.

  ‘It could be something as simple as an iron deficiency, but if that was the case I wouldn’t expect her to be this tired. There are possible viral infections that would show severe fatigue as a symptom, and she does have a slight fever. Or there’s a chance it could be something more serious, like hyperthyroidism.’

  ‘More serious?’ None of that sounds very good to me.

  ‘It’s treatable. For now, I’d like you to monitor her and bring her into the office on Tuesday.’ She slides an appointment card across the table to Scarlett, who nods but doesn’t touch it. Instinctively, I know why.

  Because touching it will make this real. Maybe my sister isn’t so different to me.

  The doctor leaves and as she passes I finally manage to lose the sullen teen thing and thank her for coming. When Javier comes back after seeing her out, neither Scarlett nor I have moved and the appointment card is in the same spot on the table.

  He looks between us and his attention settles on me. ‘Scarlett told me about the house. You’re welcome to stay here for as long as it takes to get everything under control.’

  Scarlett’s head comes up and there’s hope in her eyes. If she was a pup she’d be wagging her tail. But I don’t know. ‘We don’t want to impose.’

  ‘You’re not,’ he assures me.

  All the excuses for why this isn’t the right thing to do desert me. It would be so easy to accept his offer. To know that Ma and Scarlett are safe under his roof. Because if Callie doesn’t tell the truth then who knows where I’ll be in the weeks ahead. And with Dad getting out on parole … He wouldn’t dare bother them here. Javier’s too big. Dad likes his targets weak … or young.

  But I’m not good with easy. I shake my head. ‘We’ll be okay at home.’

  ‘And better here,’ Javier’s quick to point out.

  It’s true. There is no argument except my pride and Javier won’t listen to that. But the words are stuck in the depths of my chest and the steel band squeezing my ribs makes them impossible to get out.

  ‘Damn it, Rhett. This isn’t about you.’ I can hear the frustration straining Javier’s voice. ‘Do it for them.’

  I close my eyes. I want to say yes.

  ‘I don’t care what you say. I’m staying.’ Scarlett takes the decision from me. I open my eyes to see her waltz on over and kiss Javier on the cheek. He looks more surprised than I feel. ‘Thank you for your kind offer. I’ll tell Ma the good news.’

  Then she strides from the room.

  I stare after her. Even though she barely scrapes by at school, sometimes I think she’s smarter than me. I don’t meet Javier’s gaze. ‘I guess we’re staying.’

  ‘Good. What’s the latest with the Chapman boy?’

  ‘As far as I know, he’s still in a coma.’ I think back to Callie in my arms a few hours ago, and the way she talked. ‘But I think Callie’s going to tell the truth.’

  He smiles. ‘That’s great.’

  It is.

  It really is.

  But I can’t shake what Sean said about their mother. I’m sure he was only trying to save himself.

  But what if he wasn’t?

  CHAPTER

  15

  Callie

  I make it all the way down to the beach without finding Lion.

  Imagining the worst, I stand at the top of the steps where I tried to stop Jonny last night, and scan the sand for any hint of red fur. There’s none. Not in the sea, not by the rocks, not sniffing around the charred remains of the bonfire.

  ‘Lion,’
I call. My voice is hoarse from shouting his name the whole way from my house.

  The only movement is the endless repetition of waves breaking on the shore.

  I walk along the coast, heading towards town, getting further away from home and my car but knowing I’m more likely to see him on foot. Anyway I don’t have my keys. I can’t stop thinking about all the times he’s tried to run across the road without looking. Or the fact that it could be my fault.

  Maybe it’s coincidence that my dog went missing mere minutes after Jonny made his angry threats. But maybe it’s not.

  ‘Lion!’ I try again.

  A sound carries on a salt-scented gust of wind. A whimper, I’m sure. I cry his name again and listen hard, trying to hear over the pounding of my heart. Not even daring to breathe.

  There it is again. Behind me. I head away from the beach and the memories of last night, and up a hill.

  At the corner I stop, listening again.

  On the ground beneath my feet, the fancy stone pavers laid here to impress the tourists are spotted with dark brown drops. There’s a smear on the road itself and skid marks telling of a car trying to stop. The knots in my belly pull tight. Blood. And it’s fresh. I follow the trail and find Lion in a lane just across from the beach.

  ‘Lion,’ I call softly.

  His head lifts a little, his eyes open briefly. Faithful brown pools look at me with pure love and trust. I run and kneel at his side, ignoring the sting from my battered knees as I land heavily. This is my fault. This is all my fault.

  ‘I’m sorry. So sorry.’

  He’s been hurt because of me, because of Jonny’s anger and my distraction. His back leg is twisted behind him and there’s a wound above his thigh that I don’t dare examine too closely because I can’t bear to think about the white bits that I can see.

  There’s a hitch with every breath he struggles to drag in. I pat his warm, soft head while I try to work out what to do. He needs the vet but there’s no-one I can call to help me get him there. Dad’s busy with Mum, and Bree hasn’t replied to a single text since our encounter at the hospital yesterday. It’s up to me.

  ‘I’ll fix this,’ I whisper, even though I know he can’t understand.

  Uncaring of the blood, I shrug my light jacket from my shoulder and ease it under his back half. He doesn’t flinch, but whimpers at the movement and I apologise for hurting him more. Wrapping him first to keep the leg stable, I ease him into my arms and then rise on protesting legs. He’s not heavy, but it’s awkward.

  I walk slowly, resisting the urge to run in case I hurt him more.

  The centre of town has never seemed so far away, but somehow I get there. My arms are aching and my legs trembling as I bypass the closed vet surgery and head for the house next door.

  ‘Javier?’ I call. There’s no answer or movement from inside. ‘Javier.’ Louder this time. He has to be here. He must.

  I spot a doorbell and hit it with my shoulder. The ding echoes through the house, but there’s no sound of footsteps coming up the hall. My throat thickens but I fight the tears. Tears won’t help.

  ‘Javier!’ I scream.

  ‘Callie?’

  I turn at the sound of my name. Rhett’s standing across the road outside a tin shed. I can’t even appreciate how hot he looks in only jeans and boxing gloves, his skin shining with sweat. I’m dizzy from the rush of relief. ‘I need Javier.’

  ‘Javier’s not …’ He blinks rapidly and his voice dies in his throat as his eyes adjust to the bright sunlight. ‘He’s not there.’

  I squeeze my eyes closed. This can’t be happening.

  ‘Is that your dog?’

  I step out into the road without looking and hear a car swerve. The driver yells something but I’m not listening.

  ‘It’s Lion. I think he’s been hit by a car.’

  He swears under his breath. ‘Javier isn’t far away. Can I use your mobile?’

  ‘Yes.’

  He shakes off the gloves, leading me around to the back of the surgery. He wipes his hands on his jeans and then lifts his brows in a question.

  ‘My back pocket.’

  His hands are gentle, almost reverent, as he reaches to extract my phone. The brush of his thumb on my skin makes my flesh tingle, but at the same time, I want to yell at him to hurry, and not be so careful.

  He dials and tells Javier there’s an emergency. His eyes are serious when they meet mine. ‘He won’t be long. Follow me.’

  He strides ahead, all muscled confidence, unlocking the back of the surgery and leading me inside.

  ‘Put him on the table,’ Rhett orders. He doesn’t watch as I gently lower Lion onto the cold surface. His focus is on scrubbing his hands. He’s transformed into someone I’ve never seen in the hours we’ve spent together. Controlled. Professional.

  I stay at Lion’s side, rubbing his head. He moves a little, pressing into my hand and whimpering softly.

  All business, Rhett checks Lion over, listening to his breathing and checking his pulse- rate. He readies some equipment for Javier’s use, then begins to clean up around the wound. He describes everything he’s doing in a soothing voice—for my sake or Lion’s, I’m not sure. We both appreciate it.

  The back door slams.

  ‘In here,’ Rhett calls, without looking up from the table.

  Javier comes in at a run. ‘What happened?’

  ‘It’s my dog,’ I begin, and then Rhett takes over, speaking in a rapid burst of technical-sounding language about responses and blood volume.

  Javier assumes control and I stand in the corner of the surgery like someone lingering on stage long after their part has played out.

  ‘There’s nothing you can do.’ Javier speaks over his shoulder, confirming my thoughts. His gaze flicks over my ruined shirt. ‘Why don’t you clean up and borrow something from Scarlett next door? We’ll call you when we’re finished.’

  I hesitate. Lion’s so little on that huge metal table.

  Javier’s expression gentles. ‘We’ll do our best for him, I promise.’

  I nod, not trusting myself to speak.

  With a last glance at Lion’s still body, I leave my dog in their hands.

  I’m so busy thinking about Lion, and Rhett, and Rhett helping Lion that I don’t think about Scarlett until I’m standing at Javier’s front door and ringing the bell. I don’t know this girl at all. Our only conversations have been her telling me how terrible I am for being with Jonny last night and our mad dash together to warn Rhett. Now I’m asking to borrow her clothes.

  She’s opening the wire screen door before I can think of what to say. ‘I saw you go inside. How’s your dog?’ Her brow is furrowed with concern.

  The emotion that I’ve managed to hold at bay rears up in my throat, making it hard to speak. ‘I don’t know.’

  Her smile is gentle. ‘He’s in the best hands.’

  I don’t know if she means Javier or Rhett but I think she’s right either way. I follow her into the house. I didn’t really get a chance to look around last night but it’s bright and clean—if lacking in decoration and personality—and Scarlett seems right at home here.

  ‘You’re looking for a top, I’m guessing,’ she says over her shoulder.

  ‘If that’s okay? I don’t want to impose.’

  She turns and her gaze sweeps over me. ‘You look like you’ve been shot in the guts. It’s fine. Are you always this uptight?’

  ‘I didn’t think—I mean, no, I’m not.’

  She flashes a grin. ‘Good. I’ve got just the top.’ There are some bags of clothes in the kitchen and she pulls a white scrap of material from one and holds it out. ‘Here. The bathroom is just through there if you want to clean up.’

  I washed my hands in the surgery but I can feel Lion’s blood damp on my stomach, where it soaked through my top. ‘Thank you.’

  That’s the end of the conversation because she sits at the table and begins to thumb through a gossip magazine that has ‘Vet Surg
ery’ stamped across the front of it.

  The top is pure Scarlett. I clean up as best I can, then slide it on like a second skin. That’s if my skin was ever see-through, white and sparkly. I check my reflection in the warped mirror behind the bathroom door, hardly recognising the pale girl showing more cleavage than I usually do in my swimmers.

  Before going back out, I fire off another text to Bree, but don’t really expect a response.

  In the kitchen, Scarlett has poured two soft drinks. She jerks her head up at the sound of my steps on the tiles. ‘Want a drink?’ she asks.

  I glance towards the vet surgery, but Rhett would have come if they were ready for me. I take the drink and sit opposite her. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘It’s just a drink.’ Her cheeks are pink and she stares intently at the magazine she was reading. However, she doesn’t turn the page. The silence between us grows sharper with every passing moment.

  I take a sip. It’s lemon and something else and it’s delicious. Scarlett huffs and shifts in her seat. Each time I see her I have to adjust the image I had of her, based on her reputation. Now, I wonder if the stories even had any basis in fact.

  I place the glass gently on the table.

  She sighs.

  ‘If I’m bothering you, I can leave.’

  ‘Rhett seems to think you’re going to tell the truth,’ she blurts. Her gaze fixes on me then, the magazine forgotten.

  ‘I was … I mean, I am.’ Jonny’s threats replay in my head. I look away for a second to clear my head, then add, ‘I think.’

  She scrunches a corner of the glossy paper in her hand and her eyes narrow. ‘You don’t sound too sure.’

  ‘It’s complicated.’

  ‘It always is. People are complicated.’ She sneers. ‘My brother is a fool for believing in someone like you.’

  ‘Someone like me?’ I’m so tired of the assumptions. From her, my family, the people I thought were my friends, and of course Rhett. They all think I’m some robot with perfectly predictable actions. ‘You don’t know me at all.’

  ‘And you don’t know me, but you made a whole lot of judgements based on some clothes and some rumours.’

  Shame heats my cheeks. I tug at the revealing neckline, squirming under her gaze. ‘I’m not denying Sean made a huge mistake.’