On His Knees

by Beth Williamson

  Ever so slowly, he pushed in and out, never increasing his pace. Sweet, sweet heaven. Within minutes, she had to beat back a peak that threatened. It was too good to simply throw away that fast.

  “Does it feel good?”

  “God, yes. Can you go deeper?”

  Nicholas didn’t need to be asked, but she asked anyway. He responded by sinking in deeper, past the second set of muscles until he was firmly sheathed inside her. He thrust in deeply exactly four times. A tidal wave of orgasm came at her like a tsunami sweeping through and wiping out everything in its path. She howled along with him as they both found a place amongst the stars.

  What she missed the most was being joined with him, whether physically or emotionally. Just one moment gave her back a piece of her heart.

  Chapter Six

  Renny slept deeply, without dreams. It seemed that she’d just fallen asleep when she woke with the sun bathing her face with morning heat. The night’s activities, surprises, and amazing sex came back to her in an instant. She could tell by the sounds in the room and the feel of the bed that Nicholas was there. Awake.

  She played possum for a few minutes while she reviewed all of the things he could possibly say to her, and all the things she could say to him. In the bright light of the day, she cringed, just a tad, over all the things they’d done the night before. She’d had no idea a wild, crazy woman had hidden inside her.

  Of course, she had to deal with the consequences of what she’d done, what they’d done. First off, her body screamed with soreness she’d never felt. Oh, boy. Yep, muscles never used made themselves quite known. A groan threatened, but she swallowed it back with effort. She wasn’t quite ready to speak to Nicholas yet.

  The room still smelled of sex, although judging by the position of the sun, it had to be late morning, maybe even noon. They’d fallen asleep quickly without cuddling or kissing, as if they were only connected through the sex. Renny didn’t even realize she was disappointed until that moment. Yes, they’d walked the thin line between lovers and fuck buddies. She wanted to believe it had been more than fuck buddies, but why?

  A year had gone by since Nicholas had left and she still didn’t know why he’d broken into her house. Too many unanswered questions to simply accept the fact that they’d become lovers again. Too much hurt had occurred to dismiss everything after one incredible night.

  “Renny?”

  Shit. He’d always been incredibly intuitive and he must have sensed she was awake.

  “Hmmm?”

  “Can I talk to you, sweetie?”

  That nickname never failed to melt her like butter in a skillet. She gritted her teeth and rolled over to face the music.

  Nicholas shook with the force of his feelings. He wanted to snatch her up and blubber like an idiot until she took him back. The rest of his life hinged on the next five minutes of his life. God knew he’d spent enough time fucking it up. Hopefully he wouldn’t do that again.

  Renny looked beautiful, sleep-rumpled with lips round and full from kissing. One sweet shoulder peeked out of the sheet sporting a bit of whisker burn. He’d forgotten how delicious her skin was. Of course, the taste was so much sweeter since she’d thrown off the cloak of uptightness that shrouded her most of her life. And since he’d discovered how exciting being a sub could be. Renny would be perfect as his Dom ‑‑ she’d proven that the night before.

  Now he had to convince her to give his heart a chance.

  “Renny ... I need to talk to you and I’d like to ask you to hear everything until you say anything. Okay?”

  “Okay.” She sat up against the headboard, pulling the sheet up around her like a protective shroud. Her beautiful green eyes looked wary yet attentive.

  She hadn’t kicked him out yet, which was a good sign. At least he thought it was. He took a deep breath and opened his heart.

  “Let me start by saying I’m sorry. I can’t tell you how much Renny. I knew when I left that I would hurt you ... my only excuse was that I was so desperately unhappy that I couldn’t see straight.” He picked at the blanket beneath his hand. “I’ve hidden for the last year, knowing what a mess I’d left and being too cowardly to face it.”

  Now that really hurt, admitting what a fuck up he was. He felt tears prick the back of his eyes and he blinked rapidly to keep them back where they belonged.

  “I know it’s going to take a lot of time to convince you that I’m truly sorry, not to mention forgive me. The only thing I don’t regret is the changes in you. I see the woman you were meant to be. An incredibly amazing, sexy, beautiful creature that I’d never met before.”

  He reached out and cupped her soft cheek. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t lean into his touch either. Rubbing his thumb across the creamy skin, he had to physically restrain himself from kissing her. Their experiences the night before had left him gasping for more, and more.

  “I know you wanted to know why I came to your house tonight. I ... I didn’t want to tell you because I was sort of embarrassed. You see,” he swallowed, hard. “I did come for the bat ‑‑ “

  She drew back away from him with a hiss. “Get out.”

  “Let me finish, please.”

  He could almost see her shaking with anger and hurt. Her eyes were shuttered and cold.

  “Fine, then you’ve got one more minute before I call 911.”

  “Thank you. I did come for the bat, but it wasn’t why you think. This isn’t the bat that Mark McGuire used to break the homerun record. I just told the divorce attorney that so it wouldn’t look like I was an idiot in the divorce settlement asking for a stupid forty-five dollar bat.”

  Standing, he gestured for her to wait. He’d already spotted the bat in the corner and knew that’s what she’d beaned him with. Actually, he was proud of her for doing that. Most women wouldn’t have had the courage. He picked it up and walked toward her, unscrewing the bottom. She frowned and watched his hands closely.

  “You see, this bat is special because of what it holds, not who held it.” He finally unscrewed the bottom and pulled out a soft blue cloth. After unwrapping it carefully, he held it out in his palm so you could see. A perfect gold circle winked in the sunlight.

  “Your wedding ring? You stopped wearing that five years ago because it interfered at work.” She reached out and touched it with one hesitant finger. “It was in the bat?”

  He tried to find some moisture to swallow, but his mouth was as dry as cotton. “I didn’t want it to ever get stolen so I hollowed out the bat and put it in there.” He shrugged. “I didn’t remember that I’d left the bat behind until I’d already left. That’s why I asked for it in the divorce settlement. I ... I couldn’t leave it behind.”

  Nicholas closed the cloth and tucked it back into the bat. After screwing the bottom back on the bat, he leaned it up against the nightstand.

  “I’m going to leave the bat for you ‑‑ looks like any intruders will get their ass kicked. Thank God you didn’t use that taser on me. I’ll take off and let you get some sleep. I ... I’m yours if you want me Renny.” He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it. “I love you and I always will.”

  Nicholas picked up the pieces of his heart, borrowed a pair of sweatpants, and left before he resorted to begging. He could only hope that Renny would take him back into her life and her heart.

  Renny sat in stunned silence for a while, how long she had no idea. Time had no meaning since the night before when Nicholas broke into her house. The entire episode had felt like a dream, something she might have seen on television, not experienced first hand.

  Nicholas had completely surprised her. No more than that, he’d knocked her for a complete loop. Renny barely remembered what day it was or what she had to do that day. All that was unimportant. What was important was that bat and Nicholas’ confession.

  She had a lot to think about, like how she’d spend the rest of her life and whether or not she was ready to take her ex-husband back. Heavy thoughts.

&nb
sp; Climbing out of bed, she nearly tripped on the bat. Strangely enough, the bat had been at the focal point during the divorce proceedings, and here it was again, in the middle of their ... whatever it was they were doing.

  Renny headed for the bathroom and a shower. Aside from the need to be refreshed, she felt sore and sticky and in desperate need of hot water. As she walked to the bathroom, she realized that while married, she’d never walked around naked. The thought struck her as funny and she started laughing like a lunatic, gut-busting guffaws her body dredged up from somewhere near her toes.

  By the time she actually reached the faucet on the tub, her stomach hurt and her eyes leaked. What had started as laughter quickly turned to tears. The hilarity melted away and she could no more stop the tears than she could the laughs. Climbing into the shower, Renny gave herself permission to cry. A good, cleansing cry that helped her release the many ugly emotions flying through her, tearing her up.

  Down the drain went the stress, tension, anger, and anxiety that had plagued her for a year. She planted her hands on the tiles and let the hot water wash over her. Time had no meaning for her until the hot water turned warm and then cool. Before it got too cold, she turned off the faucet.

  Stepping out of the tub, she pressed a fluffy purple towel to her face until she caught her breath. She had the day to think about what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. Well, more than the day. Nicholas hadn’t given her a deadline or pressured her into deciding anything. He’d simply handed her his heart.

  She dried off quickly and ran a brush through her wet hair. Her stomach yowled noisily, reminding her it was after one o’clock. One of her favorite Saturday activities was having lunch at Petra’s Café downtown, followed by some shopping. No need to break with tradition. Instead, she decided to invite Janie along to get some information out of that sneaky friend of hers.

  Chapter Seven

  “What are you talking about?”

  Janie tried to look innocent, but Renny could see past the redhead’s innocent looking blue-eyed expression.

  “You’re full of shit and you know it, Janie! You set us up. Go ahead and deny it.” Renny took a bite of her chicken Caesar wrap and frowned.

  Toying with her salad, Janie shrugged. “Okay, I admit it. I set you up.”

  Even though Renny knew her friend had interfered, hearing it said out loud was a blow. She’d trusted Janie since seventh grade when they’d been the last kids picked for teams in gym class. Now apparently the trust had been misplaced. The betrayal felt pretty damn real.

  “Janie ... I can’t believe it.” Renny couldn’t hide the hurt in her voice. She had to swallow twice to even speak.

  Janie reached across and put her hand over Renny’s. “Oh, babe, I’m sorry if you got hurt. I never meant for you to be hurt.”

  Renny used her napkin to wipe the corner of her eyes. She wasn’t about to allow a flood of tears to happen again. She’d had enough of that. “I know you would never deliberately hurt me, but ... God, why did you do it?”

  Janie sighed. “It sounds stupid and corny, but I’ve always felt you and Nicholas belonged together. You were such a wreck when he left and I was really pissed at him. Enough to kick his ass when I saw him ... which is what I tried to do six weeks ago.”

  “What?” Renny could hardly fathom her five foot tall friend kicking anyone’s ass, much less that of her six foot two inch husband. Ex-husband.

  “I was at the market down on sixth street

  , looking at the produce when I look up and see him standing in front of me. I just saw red and started throwing oranges at him. One of the boys that works there tried to stop me, but Nicholas just stood there and let me whip fruit at him.”

  Renny felt a laugh bubble at the image of Nicholas getting pelted by oranges. Janie would be the one to do that, crazy girl.

  Janie shook her head, one red curl bobbing on her cheek. “Like he wanted me to punish him. Anyway, after I hit him with about six, I felt guilty, so I stopped. He only said one thing.”

  “What? What did he say?”

  “He said, ‘Is she okay?’ and I about fell on out. I mean, here he was this big strong guy that dumped his fabulous wife and he asked me if you were okay. So I told him, hell no, you weren’t okay. He looked kind of stricken, like I’d slapped him or something.” She shrugged. “After that I saw him three more times at the market. He didn’t speak to me again, but the expression in his eyes ... it was kind of haunting, ya know?”

  Renny nodded; the look was unmistakably Nicky. She’d seen it herself that morning when he’d left her bed.

  “Anyway, I was at that club I told you about with my date, Brian, who by the way turned out to be a total jerk. I saw Nicholas, just like I told you, being some woman’s bitch. I saw red again and this time I didn’t throw oranges.”

  “What, no oranges at the sex club?” Renny asked dryly.

  “No, instead I threw my drink in his face. He never said a peep. I just didn’t get it. I mean, this was not the man I had known for ten years. He’d changed so much and that got me to thinking about you. Not only had he changed, but you have too.” Janie reached over and squeezed Renny’s hand. “Not that I didn’t love you before, but you’ve become so ... so confident, outgoing, and just so damn amazing. I had this idea, sorta like a light bulb going off.”

  Renny knew all about Janie’s ideas. Some of those ideas landed both of them in hot water more than once. This time was no exception to the rule that Janie’s harebrained schemes always ended up as twisted as a pretzel.

  “What was the idea?” She didn’t really want to know, but Renny couldn’t help herself from asking. She knew Janie never meant to hurt her.

  “Well ... my idea was that you two broke up, well okay he left you, because you were in a rut. Your marriage was boring, right? Zero excitement, and you two never did anything together. Geez, we went to more movies together than you and he ever did. Anyhoo, so I think to myself, Renny is different and Nicholas is damn sure different, maybe all they really needed was time apart. I know the divorce just became final two weeks ago, but you know sometimes in life we only get one shot at happiness ... maybe you’re lucky enough to get two.”

  Janie picked up her diet soda with shaking hands. Renny hadn’t even realized her friend was upset since she’d just been babbling on in true Janie fashion. Renny knew then she’d never stay mad at Janie for anything she’d done, especially since she’d always followed her heart.

  “I thought maybe all you needed was a push ... something to reignite the flame so to speak. When I saw Nicholas at the market last week, I told him that you were seeing another man. His face went white as a sheet and I swear to God I thought he was going to faint if you can believe it. I ... I told him you were going away on a romantic weekend with this new man.” She took a big gulp of her soda. “I kind of figured something would happen. So, did it?”

  Renny didn’t know if she wanted to tell Janie all the details, but she at least deserved to know a bit. “Yes, something happened, quite a few things actually. I, uh, knocked him out cold with his baseball bat.”

  Janie’s eyes went wide. “You what? The bat he asked for in the settlement?”

  “The very one. Then I tied him up.”

  The laugh that burst from Janie could have echoed for miles. “Oh my ... God ... I can’t be-believe it!”

  “Believe it. And I did it only wearing my panties and T-shirt.”

  “Okay, okay, stop. L-let me catch my breath.” Janie took some deep breaths, a few giggles popping out as she tried to get control of her laughter. “What happened when he woke up?”

  Renny thought long and hard about how she’d answer her friend. Privacy between her ex-husband and herself was important, yet without Janie’s interference, they’d never have discovered how much they enjoyed a very different kind of sex.

  “We talked very honestly about everything. It was the most open conversation we’ve ever had. For the first time I actually saw Nichola
s cry. I ... I am glad you tricked us Janie.”

  “Is that it? Nothing else happened?” Janie looked so anxious, Renny almost laughed at the expression on her face.

  “I didn’t say that. The important thing is that Nicholas and I finally knocked down the wall between us and saw each other for who we really were.”

  That was exactly it. Renny hadn’t realized it until that very moment. Finally, finally she knew her husband. Now it was up to her what she’d do with that precious bit of epiphany.

  “No sex?” Janie groused.

  Renny laughed and leaned over to kiss her friend on the cheek. “I didn’t say that. Truth is, I’ve never had such a spectacular night of sex.”

  With that, Renny left her friend at the table and headed out to make a decision about the rest of her life.

  The snick of the front door was unmistakable. Renny had a feeling he would come back that night. Her body craved his most of the day, the touch, the pleasure, the scent. Everything reminded her of Nicholas. She’d already made the decision to call him when the noise pulled her out of a doze. It was near midnight and the skies had been clear all day. No thunder and lightning disturbed the blackness of the night.

  She debated waiting for him, but that would be cowardly. She had to show Nicholas that he just couldn’t break into her house whenever he felt like it. Fortunately she had left her robe on the end of the bed. Snagging it, she slipped it on and immediately reached for the bat he’d left next to the bed.

  She didn’t want to smack him with it again, but dammit, he couldn’t keep doing this. With a determined stride, she opened the bedroom door and headed out into the hallway. When she saw two shadows in the kitchen instead of one, a bolt of pure, unadulterated fear slid through her like a knife.

  Whoever was in her house, it wasn’t Nicholas. She stepped back into the bedroom as quietly as possible and shut the door without a sound. Her fingers shook on the lock and it took her three times before she could secure it. When Renny became light-headed, she realized she’d been holding her breath. After getting some much needed oxygen in her system, she took her cell phone off the nightstand and went into the closet.