Alive (Mended Hearts #1)

by Beth Maria

  “Of course I can, pretty lady. Please follow me.” Evan holds his arm out for Chloe to take. I focus on Jake, noticing his jaw tighten and his fists clench as he watches Chloe leave with Evan. I just shake my head at their behavior.

  “Jake, please don’t do anything stupid, okay? I’m going to get a drink then find somewhere to sit quietly.”

  Pouring myself a vodka and coke, I make my way to sit down on the sofa. Well, this party sucks already. I’ve only been here twenty minutes, and already I want to leave.

  Avicii’s ‘Hey Brother’ starts playing. I quietly sing along, lost in my own little world. I love this song. I think it’s the country accent used in the song. Tapping my foot to the tune, I don’t notice that someone has sat next to me.

  “You look like you’re having fun, darling.” At the sound of the voice that I haven’t heard for two weeks, I turn my gaze toward Jesse. Wow, he looks extremely hot tonight. He’s wearing a white t-shit that hugs his muscles in all the right places and dark jeans, and my mouth goes dry at the sight of him. Every time I see Jesse, he just gets better looking. How is that possible?

  Taking a sip of my drink to wet my mouth, I respond, “I’m not.” I then turn to watch people dancing on the makeshift dance floor, aka the living room.

  “I can tell. You have a sour face right now. Fancy some company?” Do I want his company? I guess it can’t be any worse than what I’ve been doing. I’m going to need more alcohol for this, though. Lifting my cup to my mouth, I gulp down the rest of my drink.

  “Only if you would be kind enough to get me another drink?” I hold out my cup for him to take. “Vodka and coke, please.”

  “How do you know I won’t spike your drink?” he asks while taking my cup.

  “I don’t.”

  “You’re lucky I’m not like that, Maisie. Don’t just ask random people to get you a drink in the future.” Before I can tell him not to tell me what to do, he walks away toward the kitchen.

  Who does he think he is, telling me what to do? Sitting back on the sofa, my mind strays to how Jesse looks tonight. How does he manage to always look so good? There hasn’t been one time when he hasn’t looked even the tiniest bit like shit. He always looks impeccable. Where’s Blondie anyway? Why is Jesse by himself? More importantly, why is he sitting with me? It’s not even like I’m very nice to him. In fact, I’ve been nothing but just plain rude to him! I can’t help but not be rude to him. It’s my defense mechanism these days. If I don’t let any guy near me, then I won’t get my heart shattered, except it’s not that simple when I find Jesse attractive. I’m insanely attracted to him, but I can’t let him in. I know that if I get to know him, he will break my heart. It’s inevitable. He is even better looking than Matt, and he got bored with me. Jesse would definitely get bored with me, and then he would take what’s left of my already broken heart and shatter it into a million more pieces.

  “Here you go. It’s not spiked, scout’s honor,” Jesse says, doing the scout’s honor sign. It makes me laugh. “So you can laugh? You should do it more often. It’s a beautiful sound.” Feeling a blush creep up my neck, I look down at the floor so he doesn’t see that he’s embarrassed me. “Hey, don’t be embarrassed,” he says, putting his fingers under my chin. He tilts my head up, until I have no choice but to stare into his eyes. His beautiful eyes. “You have a beautiful laugh. Don’t be embarrassed of it.” He smiles then releases my face.

  “Thank you.” There’s not much else to say to that. I need more alcohol in my system if I’m going to hold a conversation with Jesse. Gulping down the contents of my drink, I get up to refill my cup. “I’ll be back in a minute. I need more vodka.” Smiling at him, I make my way toward the kitchen.

  Jesse

  I’m left staring at Maisie’s retreating form, while I stand here like a dick. I had been watching her from the corner of the room for the last fifteen minutes, ever since I arrived. Now I really do sound like a creeper. I was on my way to get a drink when I saw her sitting on the sofa by herself, drink in hand, silently singing along to Avicii’s ‘Hey Brother’. She looked adorable, minding her own business, lost in the song.

  When I saw what she was wearing, I was blown away. There is definitely life downstairs from looking at Maisie. She looked so hot in her black leather skirt, with the black crop top, allowing me a tiny peak at her perfect tanned body. Even if only a few inches of her flesh were showing, it was definitely doing things to my manhood. I thought I could keep her company. It looked like she wasn’t in her comfort zone being at this party, so when I asked her if she wanted some company and her reply was “Only if you would be kind enough to get me another drink?” I couldn’t refuse. She was finally saying more than one word to me without shouting. That’s progress.

  Most of the girls I know would lap up compliments if I gave them. Fair enough, they were meaningless compliments to get them into bed, but they still took them without being embarrassed. When I gave Maisie a compliment, which for once in my life I actually meant, she got all embarrassed. It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, apart from her laugh. Her laugh... My God, that sound. It did funny things to my insides. I can’t even explain it. I’ve never felt it before.

  I’m standing here waiting for Maisie to come back, when I know I could be hooking up with Tiffany. I know she’s here somewhere, except I’m not interested in finding her. I want to spend time getting to know Maisie.

  I’ve tried to keep my distance from her since she moved seats in English two weeks ago, but all I can think about is her, day and night. I don’t even know the girl, and she’s already consuming my thoughts. I know I should walk away and forget about her, and trust me I’ve tried, for two weeks in fact. I just can’t do it. As soon as I see her, I want to be near her. I want to call her mine, even if it means going against everything I believe. I know Maisie could break me if she wanted to, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I couldn’t stay away even if I tried.

  “Hello? Earth to Jesse.” Maisie says, waving her hand in front of my face.

  “How long have you been standing there?” I must have zoned out thinking about her. Not good.

  “About a minute, so not long. Did you want a drink? I didn’t know what you liked, so I got you a beer. Hope that’s okay?” she says. Passing me the cold beer, her fingers graze mine with the gentlest of touches. Had I not felt a shock when our skin made contact, I wouldn’t have noticed. I look into Maisie’s eyes to see if she felt it, but if she did, she doesn’t let it show.

  “Beer’s fine, thank you.” I open my mouth to ask her how she found out about the party, as Jake’s parties are usually pretty private, just for the popular crowd, when I hear a voice that I really don’t want to hear right now.

  “Jesse, baby, why didn’t you tell me you were already here? I’ve been looking for you since I arrived. Brandon said he didn’t know where you had gone to,” Tiffany asks in her really irritating, high pitched voice. How have I not noticed how annoying it is before now? It’s not like Maisie’s gentle, smooth voice, which I could listen to all day, if I ever got a moment to talk to her properly. I notice Maisie look at Tiffany and scrunch her nose up at her. Hmm. Interesting.

  “Tiff, can’t you see that I’m a bit busy at the moment?” I ask, giving her a pointed look that says piss off. Not taking the hint, she wraps her bare arms around mine, rubbing her chest on me in the process. For once, it actually makes me feel physically sick. Looking down at Tiffany wearing the shortest red dress that I have ever seen, I would usually get turned on by it, but now it does nothing for me. It would seem that these days, I like girls who wear black leather skirts with crop tops that only show a tiny bit of flesh. Trying to retrieve my arm from Tiffany’s vice like grip proves harder than I thought it would. Using a little more force than I usually would on a girl, I free myself, and then turn toward where Maisie was standing, but she’s no longer there.

  “Who was she, anyway? I’ve never seen her around before. You can do a lot better. You
have me remember?” Tiffany slurs, trying unsuccessfully to wrap her arms back around me.

  Moving out of her reach, I cross my arms, trying to remain calm. “Look, Tiff, if I want to hook up, I will call you. And for your information, Maisie is one hundred times prettier than you because she isn’t desperate. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go apologize to her for your rudeness.” Without waiting for her to respond, I turn to the kitchen to try and find Maisie.

  ****

  I’ve surveyed the whole house three times for Maisie, but I can’t find her anywhere. The house isn’t that big, so it shouldn’t be this hard. Making my way into the kitchen to get a drink, someone laughing stops me dead in my tracks. I listen for the laugh again, and as if on cue, someone laughs. I recognize the sound. It instantly makes my heart melt. I follow the sound of the laugher out into the garden, and then stop in my tracks when I see Brandon all over Maisie. It hurts that Brandon is chatting her up when he knows I’m interested in her. For God’s sake, I asked him for his help in the coffee shop. He’s supposed to be my best friend. He’s like a brother to me.

  What hurts the most, though, is that Maisie looks like she is enjoying his company. She never looks at me like that. God, I wish she did, though.

  Standing there, watching them interact for a few minutes, the hurt subsides, being replaced by anger; anger at Brandon for doing this, but mostly anger at myself for obviously not being good enough for a beautiful girl like Maisie. I don’t know why I ever thought I would be. I mean, I don’t even really know her, and she’s already decided that she doesn’t want someone like me. I’m damaged. Maybe she realizes that. No, she couldn’t. I hide it well. I’ve had years to perfect this ‘I don’t give a crap’ attitude, but this is the reason why I don’t try to get close to girls. Feelings always mess everything up, leaving someone hurt in the process, and I’m damaged enough as it is.

  I can’t stand to watch this anymore, especially when Brandon does his signature move of putting the stray strands of hair behind Maisie’s ear, which he usually does just before he makes his move. I won’t allow him to kiss her.

  Striding over to them in four big strides, I push my way between them, staring him down. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, bro?” I hiss to Brandon.

  “Well, I was talking to this very lovely lady before you interrupted, bro,” Brandon replies, giving me a satisfied smile. His eyes can’t focus on anything in particular. This isn’t good. Drunk Brandon doesn’t give a fuck about anybody but himself.

  “Well, conversation is over. Go find someone else to hook up with. Maisie isn’t a one night stand kind of girl, Brandon.” Spinning on my heel, I turn to find a completely hammered Maisie. She only left me about twenty minutes ago. How much has she had to drink? She can’t even stand up straight!

  A sharp pain reverberates through my skull. Spinning back around to face Brandon, who looks extremely pissed off, I raise my eyebrows. There’s no point arguing. This fight is going to happen whether I want it to or not. Drunken Brandon is an angry guy, not my bro who has my back at all times.

  “Come on. Hit me back. You can’t just come in and take her away. She isn’t your property. Go and find your own girl,” Brandon says, raising his voice.

  “Brandon, I think you need to go drink some water. Do you want me to take you home?” He can’t drive home in this state. He may not make it.

  I see Brandon’s fist aim straight for my face. I’m not going to try and stop it. He can get one decent punch in before I knock him to the ground, best friend or not. His fist connects with my face, good and proper. I’m going to have a beauty of a black eye tomorrow!

  “That was a good shot, but now that you’ve had your one free shot, it’s all you’re going to get,” I whisper to Brandon so that nobody else over hears.

  “Give me what you’ve got, Jesse. I’m gonna fuck you up.”

  I won’t throw this first punch. That way, I can’t get done if the cops show up. I don’t have to wait long before he makes his move. Blocking his right hand from colliding with my already swelling eye, I punch him straight in the stomach, making him double over in pain. Not waiting for him to get back up, I follow it with an uppercut straight to the nose.

  “FUCK!” Brandon screams, cupping his nose. Lifting his head up so we are eye to eye, his nose is gushing with blood. Shit. I think I might have broken it. Oh well, that’s what he gets for breaking the code.

  Bending forward so that we are nose to nose, I whisper, “Call that a warning. Stay away from her, Brandon.” He just nods his head. It’s sad that it took getting his nose broken to realize that he’s done wrong. Tomorrow, he probably won’t even remember what he’s done, meaning I will have to explain without getting pissed off again.

  Grabbing hold of Maisie’s arm, I pull her toward the front of the house.

  “What the FUCK do you think you’re doing, Jesse?” Maisie spits out at me. Great. Now I have to deal with another drunk.

  “Stay away from Brandon, Maisie. He will drop you as soon as he gets what he wants. Do you want to be one of those girls?”

  “I’ll do what I like! Who the hell are you to tell me what to do? I don’t even know you! Go back to Blondie, Jesse.” Maisie pulls her arm from my grip and goes to walk away. I can’t let her leave being angry with me. Grabbing hold of her arm, I pull her into my chest.

  “LET GO OF ME, JESSE!” Maisie screams, struggling to try to get out of my hold. I hold her tighter, and then move my lips close to her ear.

  “I’m telling you what to do because I care about you, and you don’t look like the kind of girl who wants a one night stand,” I whisper in her ear.

  “Well don’t, Jesse,” she whispers back dejectedly. “I’ve dealt with worse.” I know that tone well. She’s been hurt at some point, though who would want to ever hurt this beautiful girl?

  “Look at me, Maisie.” Her eyes stay focused on the floor. I tilt her head up, so she has no choice but to look into my eyes. “Whatever’s happened in your past doesn’t mean you need to degrade yourself like that. You’re worth so much more.” God, I’m such a hypocrite. Isn’t that what I do to girls like Tiffany? Do I not use them to get what I want, and then discard them like yesterday’s trash? It’s always been the way I’ve protected my heart, though I never thought about the hearts of the women I used.

  Staring into Maisie’s eyes, I see the fire that was in them diminish at the mention of her past. It breaks my heart that somebody has hurt her before. When I find out what happened, and who hurt her, I’m going to seriously hurt them. Maisie looks like she has an ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude, but deep down, she cares. She really fucking cares. I’ve always been good at reading people. I’m a master at fooling people about how I feel, so I can always spot a damaged person.

  “Why are you being nice to me?” Maisie whispers so quietly that I wouldn’t have heard it if I hadn’t been paying close attention to her.

  “I’ve been a dick to you since we met. I’m sorry for that. I’m not going to lie, but when I first saw you on the sidewalk, I wanted to hook up with you. Then I saw you in the coffee shop that same day, so I tried to get your attention again. Badly, I know.” Maisie chuckles at that. I realize that I could never get bored of hearing that sound. “Anyway, I was shocked when I saw you in English. I knew I should have stayed away from you, as I always end up hurting women, but something about you is different. You’re not like the other girls I know, Maisie. You’re so much better. When I realized this, I decided to leave you alone. You can do so much better than people like Brandon and me. We don’t care about anybody except ourselves, and you deserve to be treated like a princess.” I watch a tear roll down her cheek, before I reach up and swipe my thumb across her face to remove it.

  She starts to move forward, all the while staring into my eyes, still letting the tears flow. I pull her into my chest for a cuddle and try to comfort her as best as I can. She looks like she needs one right now, and I will take anything I can ge
t, especially if it means I get to touch her. She leans back after a few minutes and, without warning, grabs my face and plants her lips on mine, hard. I respond, kissing her back just as eager. Her lips are just as soft as I have imagined. She tastes of a mixture of coke, vodka and strawberry. I’m guessing the strawberry is from her lip gloss, but I’m addicted to the taste of her already. Maisie tries to deepen the kiss, and I almost let her, but I don’t want her to kiss me when she probably won’t even remember it in the morning. Breaking off the kiss is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I know I’m going to regret it; however, I want her to remember every second of the next time we kiss. And there will be a next time, I’m sure of it.

  “Oh God, I’m so sorry. Th-that shouldn’t have happened. I’ve got to go,” Maisie stutters, looking mortified. Before I can say anything, she runs off into the crowd. I’ve got to find her. She’s drunk far too much to be around a bunch of people she doesn’t know.

  Making my way into the kitchen, I see Maisie standing with Jake and the blonde girl who I saw her with at Cafe Blanc that first day. I wonder how she knows Jake. Time to find out.

  “Jake, my man. Thanks for inviting me to your party. I’m going to head off soon, so thought I would see how you are.” Maisie sneaks a look at me out of the corner of her eye. I try not to laugh at the fact that she looks distraught at the fact that I am here.