Alive (Mended Hearts #1)

by Beth Maria

  “Oh, your mom was just telling me some funny stories about when you were younger,” Maisie says, laughing all over again. That’s probably worse than the photos. Damn it, Mom!

  “Oh yeah? What story did she tell you?” I ask, hoping that it’s nothing too embarrassing. Knowing my mom, it’s the most embarrassing story she has.

  “I was telling Maisie about that time when you went up to some lady in the supermarket and put your head up her skirt because you thought it was me,” My mom says, a cheeky smile on her face.

  Yeah, that was the story I was dreading. I was four years old, okay! It’s not a crime at that age. Plus, she really looked like my mom. Any child would get confused and do the same. Well, maybe not stuck their head up her skirt.

  “To my defense, that woman really looked like you. Plus, I was four, Mom. It was easy to get confused,” I say, defending my innocent young self.

  “Aw, don’t worry, sweetie. That was the cutest thing you’ve ever done. Though, I never really understood why you always wanted to put your head up my skirt? You started liking the ladies young,” My mom says as her and Maisie both laugh.

  “Maybe I just wanted to go back to a safe place, however disgusting that is,” I reply, shuddering at the thought of going back up my mom’s vagina. I think I’m going to be sick.

  “Well, you could have tried, but you wouldn’t have fit.”

  “Eurgh, Mom, please. Too much information,” I say, blocking my ears. Now, I’m even acting four years old. I need to leave ASAP.

  Maisie has a glow on her face that I haven’t seen before. She’s looking at my mom with pure adoration in her eyes. I knew they would get along well, and it makes me so happy that I was right.

  I hate that I’m about to take Maisie home, when she’s obviously enjoying herself, but it’s getting late, and I need to leave before Mom starts telling even more embarrassing stories. It’s bound to happen. “I hate to break story telling time up, but it’s getting late. Are you ready to go home, Maisie?”

  “Yeah, I guess I should get back. I need to check on Chloe and get some assignments done.” Standing up, she walks over to my mom, who is now also standing. “Thank you for dinner. It was lovely, and it was lovely meeting you. I’ve had a really nice time,” she says, giving my mom a hug.

  “Anytime, sweetie. Come by whenever you want, even if Jesse isn’t here. I would love to see you,” my mom replies, letting go of Maisie.

  I’m just standing off to the side, my hands in my pockets.

  “I would love to. I’m sure you’ll see me sometime next week. You can’t keep me away if you make me meatballs again,” Maisie says laughing. Yeah, my mom makes the best meatballs around. They’re bound to bring Maisie back. They always have Brandon.

  “You can count on it,” My mom replies, walking us to the front door.

  “Bye, Mom. I’ll be back later. I’m going to see Brandon for a bit after I’ve dropped Maisie off, so don’t wait up.” Giving Maisie my helmet, I straddle my bike, waiting to feel her warm hands wrapped around my body. It’s a feeling I always look forward to when she climbs on my bike. It always makes me imagine millions of different places that she could put her hands on my body. I can’t wait for the day that she finally does. It’s all I dream about these days. I have to go slow with her, though. She’s told me that she’s not ready yet, and I’m not going to push her, but I can still fantasize.

  We pull out of my drive, and I head toward my usual destination these days; the dorms.

  ****

  “I forgot to tell you earlier that you look beautiful,” I say, brushing a loose strand of hair back behind her ear from where the helmet messed it up.

  “Thank you,” she whispers. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” Damn right, I don’t. I’m a good looking guy, and I know it, but it’s nice to hear it from her.

  “I know,” I joke, getting a punch in the arm at my cockiness. “I’m joking, but thank you for today. My mom really likes you.” I brush my thumb over her cheek, feeling her silky smooth skin beneath by finger.

  “I really like your mom, too. I’d best let you go then. Brandon’s probably waiting.” She steps away from my touch, making me instantly miss her warmth.

  Pulling her back into my hold, I kiss her with everything that I am. I’m trying to express how much I love her with this kiss, instead of saying the three dreaded words. They’ve done enough damage today already.

  Deepening the kiss, I bend Maisie back, one hand in her hair and the other holding the bottom of her back. She lets out a small moan, which goes straight through my body and straight to my dick, making him stand up to attention. Every. Single. Time. She has a huge effect on my body.

  Tugging her hair, I am welcomed with more moans from her.

  Damn my traitorous body. I’m going to have to stop before I explode right here in my pants. Begrudgingly breaking the kiss, I rearrange myself, as right now, he’s in so much pain.

  “Goodnight, my beautiful Maisie.” I touch her lips with my thumb for one last touch, and then pull away.

  “Goodnight, Jesse.” She turns, heading toward the dorms. She really looks perfect from behind. I’m so lucky to call her mine. I just hope she returns my love eventually.

  Maisie

  “Oh, Jesse?” I shout, turning to look at him. I have to tell him before he leaves. He looks at me expectantly, waiting to hear what I have to say. He won’t be expecting this though. “I love you too, by the way.” With that, I walk through the entrance and up to my room.

  I was thinking while I was looking at baby photos of Jesse, and I realized that I do love him. I hate not hearing from him for hours. I hate not being able to see him every day. I hate it as soon as he goes home. I hate it when we aren’t touching. I hate thinking about never being able to kiss him again. There are many more things that I hate too. It was then that I realized that I didn’t want to be without him. Also, when I was looking at the baby photos, I could just picture a baby who looks just like Jesse running around, except the child was mine and Jesse’s. To say that scared me is an understatement, but it also made me realize, again, that I love him if I can picture him in my future. I had to let him know before he went away thinking that it was just one sided. Because it’s not. I feel exactly the same as he does.

  Feeling lighter now that I’ve got that confession off of my chest, I walk toward my door, my key at the ready. I’m about to put the key in the hole, when I hear raised voices on the other side of the door. Putting my head to the door, eavesdropping, I hear a high pitched voice shouting and a male voice also raised. It sounds like Jake. Why would he be having an argument with Chloe now?

  I try to listen to what is being said. Maybe I can get some insight into what is going on. I know I shouldn’t, but I need to know what’s happening.

  “You can’t tell me what to do anymore, Jake! I needed you months ago, but you chucked me away like yesterday’s trash. So why would you want me now? Actually, save it. I don’t want to hear your lies. Just get out!” Chloe shouts. What does she mean, she needed him months ago? Why would she have needed him?

  “Chlo, please listen to me,” Jake pleads, his voice softening.

  “GET OUT!” Chloe screams at him. I think it’s time for me to go in before he gets killed.

  Opening the door, I see Chloe standing by the bathroom and Jake pacing the floor. The tension is so thick in here. I could cut it with a knife. It always seems to be this way around them lately.

  “Jake, I think you best leave,” I advise, raising my eyebrows in warning that he better not fight with me on this one.

  “Not until Chloe listens to me,” he refuses, crossing his arms over his chest. He’s such a stubborn fool.

  “GET OUT!” Chloe screams, making my ears ring. Jesus Christ, that girl has a healthy set of lungs on her. In all of our years of friendship, I have never heard her scream like that, not even to her family, and they annoy the hell out of her.

  “Fine. Fuck this shit. I’m out of here.
You know where I am if you want to listen to what I have to say, Chloe,” Jake says, slamming the door behind him.

  Chloe breaks down as soon as he leaves, crumbling to the floor with big fat ugly tears rolling down her cheeks. What the hell has he done to her?

  Rushing over to her, I assume the same position as earlier. It’s like déjà vu. “Do you want to tell me what that was all about?” I ask.

  “It was nothing.” She sniffles, wiping her face with her sleeve. Is she kidding me?

  “It didn’t look like nothing, Chloe. When are you going to tell me what’s really going on between you two?” I ask, getting frustrated. She always dodges the questions or refuses point blank to answer me. I’m fed up with the secrets now. We’re supposed to be best friends, but how can we be when she doesn’t confide in me?

  “Just drop it, Maisie,” she spits out, giving me a filthy look.

  “Do you know what? I’m done, Chloe. How the hell do you expect me to be there for you if you won’t fucking tell me what’s wrong? Until you feel ready to tell me, keep your problems out of my sight. I don’t want to see or hear it,” I say, shutting the bathroom door behind me.

  I know I said I would be patient with her, but I can only put up with so much before I run out of patience, and I’ve just ran out. I’m not getting involved anymore. She can deal with this by herself.

  Chapter 11

  Chloe

  Had I just answered when Jake called earlier, I wouldn’t have had to deal with him tonight.

  They really need to invest in peepholes for the doors in the dorm rooms. I thought it might have been Maisie knocking, having forgotten her key. It wasn’t. When I opened the door, I was faced with a red faced Jake. He didn’t wait for me to invite him in, which I wouldn’t have done, as I wasn’t in the mood for his shit today. He just barged straight past me and sat on my bed.

  He’d found out about me and Evan. He was fuming, telling me to end it with him. I was going to end it with Evan, but now, I think I might keep seeing him just to piss Jake off. I like Evan. I really do. I even have feelings for him. The problem? He just isn’t the jerk that has caused me problems since I was younger.

  Every time I try to move on, Jake comes back and ruins my progress. It’s like he wants to see me miserable.

  Last year, I really thought I had a chance, that he had finally realized that he loved me back, and that we would become a couple. Who was I fooling? He isn’t a one woman kind of man. He gets bored after a few weeks.

  The thing is that I have loved Jake Peterson ever since I can remember. He’s it for me, and no man has ever been able to compare to him. I mean, I’ve hooked up with guys, but they were never boyfriends. I’ve never wanted anyone else if I couldn’t have him, but you get tired of waiting for someone who doesn’t want you back. So this time, I’ve tried to move on. Evan may be his best friend, but he makes me happy. He takes my mind off of Jake. I know it’s not fair to Evan, but I am so fed up with feeling like I’m only good enough for one thing. With Evan, it’s different. We haven’t had sex yet, so I know it’s not about getting his kicks. He actually likes me for me. This is the kind of guy I need; someone who will make me feel treasured and loved, not make me feel like a sex object like Jake always has. To him, I’ve only ever been good enough for that. He made that perfectly clear a few months ago.

  Since then, we just haven’t been the same. I snap at him constantly. It’s my coping mechanism for what happened. Does it make me feel better, though? No, it doesn’t. It makes me feel worse. Sometimes, I think it would be easier if we never saw each other again. It’s impossible when your best friend is related to the man you love, though.

  Evan was my fresh start. I was really trying to project my feelings from Jake onto Evan, but like always, Jake won’t let me. He always worms his way back in, controlling my life by stopping me from forgetting about him.

  I’ve had enough of it now. I’m letting him go once and for all. It’s not doing me any good hanging onto false hope that one day he might want me the way I’ve always wanted him. Waiting for Jake to realize that is like waiting for rain to fall in the middle of a drought. It will just lead to disappointment.

  So I let him know that, which lead to him spouting off lies about how he loves me and not to give up on him just yet. I just laughed in his face. How long does he expect me to wait for him exactly? Until I’m dead? I don’t think so. I’ve heard this from him so many times before. I could probably recite what he is going to say before he even knows he’s going to say it. He’s predictable, and I’m fed up with it. I’m not the naive little girl that I used to be anymore. I am a woman who deserves better than what she’s been getting. I need a man who can give me the whole of him, not just bits and pieces when he feels like it.

  I should have moved on months ago when Jake proved to me that he was no good. He left me all by myself when I had no one to turn to. He should have stood by my side, been a man about it. Instead, he ordered me around, and then didn’t speak to me for months. He left me to pick up the pieces all by myself. I’m scarred because of him. I vowed that night never to forgive him. The first time I saw him again was at his house the night Matt cheated on Chloe. I thought I had finally moved on. One look was all it took for me to be reminded that I was far from over him, though. I didn’t see him again until his party the other week. It was then that I finally forgave him.

  I was such a stupid bitch. I realize that now. He only cares about himself. He doesn’t care about me. He never has, especially not five months ago.

  After his performance tonight, I swear to God, I will never forgive him for the emotional scars he has left me with.

  Chapter 12

  Jesse

  Maisie told me that she loves me last night.

  Maisie. Loves. Me!

  I was so worried when I told her that I loved her, thinking I had ruined everything. Her face was so scared at the time. I never expected her to react like that.

  So, to hear her say those three little words that mean so much back to me made my heart soar. She didn’t even give me time to reply. She just carried on walking. It’s a good thing too because I was speechless. I’ve never been speechless before in my life. That is just another skill that Maisie has that nobody else does.

  I woke up this morning with a banging headache. I’d had way too many beers at Brandon’s. I was celebrating, though. I celebrated knowing that she feels the same way I do. I never told Brandon this, of course. I already sound like a pussy when it comes to Maisie, and I don’t need to sound like more of one.

  This morning, I’m paying for it though. Big time. Plus, the sun is out, so that doesn’t help.

  I soon forget about my killer headache as I remember Maisie saying she loves me. She’s like a painkiller. Just thinking of her can help erase any pain.

  My stomach rumbles painfully, reminding me that I haven’t eaten anything since dinner last night.

  Going downstairs, I see my mom sitting at the table reading a book. She’s always reading.

  “Hey, Mom. What’cha reading?”

  “Jesse, you scared me half to death,” she says, hand on her heart.

  “You must have been really engrossed in your book then. I wasn’t even quiet coming down the stairs,” I reply, laughing at her face, which is still in shock.

  “I was engrossed. I’m reading a new book called ‘Silver Lining’ by EJ Shortall. She’s a new author, and so far I’m really enjoying her novel. Well, I was until you distracted me,” Mom says, giving me her ‘I’m not impressed’ look.

  Laughing, I move toward the pantry to get some cereal. “Don’t mind me. I’m just getting something to eat, and then I will be out of your hair.” I give her a salute, proceeding to pour my cereal.

  My cell phone is ringing when I walk into my room. Putting my cereal down on my desk, I see its Maisie calling. “Hey, firecracker,” I answer, smiling.

  “Hey yourself,” she replies.

  “What’s up?”

  �
��Can I see you today, please? I need to get out,” Maisie pleads. I thought she was spending the day with Chloe?

  “Of course you can, but what happened to spending the day with Chloe?” I ask confused.

  “Oh, I’ll tell you about it when I see you. It’s a long story. Right now, I just can’t talk to her, and being in my dorm all day means I have to look at her miserable face,” she says, getting agitated.

  “I’ll be over in about an hour.” That will give me time to eat, shower, and get dressed.

  “That’s perfect. Thank you, Jesse. I’ll see you then. I love you.” That knocks the wind out of me. I don’t think I will ever get tired of listening to her saying that.

  With the biggest smile ever to grace my face, I reply, “I love you too, firecracker. See you in an hour.” Hanging up the phone, I jump, fist pumping the air. I don’t care if people looking into my window think I’m a weirdo. My girl just willingly told me she loves me. Again.

  Turning my iPod speakers on, ‘Happy’ by Pharrell Williams starts playing. It’s the perfect song for the mood I’m in right now.

  Practically skipping into the bathroom, I quickly jump into the shower and wash away the remnants of beer stuck to my skin, still singing loudly. The neighbors are going to wonder what’s going on with the racket I’m making. I’m not fazed. Nothing can bring me down from this high that I’m on.

  “Mom, I’m off to see Maisie,” I shout into the kitchen forty-five minutes later.

  “Okay, sweetie. Have a lovely time.” I rush out of the house and jump on my bike, then head off to pick up the woman that I love. That’s right, I said it. I love her!

  ****

  Maisie’s already waiting downstairs for me when I pull up next to the sidewalk. Staying on my Ducati, I pull her into my embrace, inhaling her strawberry scent. I’m home.