Alive (Mended Hearts #1)

by Beth Maria

  He gives me a small smile, like he has no energy for anything bigger. I mirror his smile, not because I don’t have the energy, but because I feel like a huge dick right now. He doesn’t deserve this.

  “Can I come in?” he asks gruffly when I make no move to let him in.

  “Yeah… Of course,” I tell him, moving out of the way to let him by.

  As he closes the door behind him, I stand awkwardly, not knowing what to do now that he’s inside. The room seems to have gotten smaller, or maybe I’ve suddenly become claustrophobic.

  I sneak a quick peek at Chloe while Jesse’s back is toward me, begging her to help me. The smile that was on her face when I opened the door has been replaced with worry. Every time she’s seen Jesse, he’s always looked good because he takes care of his appearance. Today? He looks like road kill.

  Chloe shrugs her shoulders, as clueless as I am.

  Just get on with it and apologize, I mentally scold myself.

  “Look, Jesse…” I start, getting cut off.

  “Don’t talk. Just listen,” he interrupts, motioning for me to sit down on my bed.

  Obeying his command, I sit down on the edge, watching as he pulls something over his shoulder.

  His guitar.

  How did I not notice that? I must have been so shocked by his appearance that I failed to notice anything else. Why did he bring his guitar here, though? I’ve never heard him play it before, even when I’ve begged him.

  He opens his case up on the floor, pulling his guitar out with care. Chloe and I share a look, both wondering what he’s doing. He doesn’t say one word the whole time, and neither do I. I’m confused as to what’s happening right now.

  Guitar in place on his stomach, he begins tuning.

  It feels like forever has passed when he’s finally ready. I’m starting to get fidgety. I can’t take my eyes off of the beautiful man in front of me, who by the looks of it, I have destroyed.

  “I know I’ve always said no to playing for you in the past. I just wanted to wait for a special moment, but I guess now is as good as any. I hope you like it,” Jesse, says, nervousness seeping out of his pores. I’ve never seen him like this before. Where is my confident, cocky man?

  He starts to strum his guitar, the tune sounding familiar. I can’t place the song until he starts singing the first verse.

  One Direction - Little things. One of my favorite songs, the words are just beautiful, but it’s even better now that Jesse is singing those words to me. And his voice? Wow. He has the smoothest voice I have ever heard. It’s beautiful, hypnotizing me. I’m drawn into him, and I can’t seem to focus on anything else.

  Tears well up in my eyes. He chose a beautiful song to sing to me, letting me know that he loves all of my imperfections.

  He stops singing, carrying out the last few notes of the song.

  As he places his guitar down on the floor, I wipe my tears away, watching him in silence. Jesse stands up and focuses his attention on me, neither of us uttering a word. I’m speechless. It was the most romantic gesture I have ever witnessed.

  “That was so romantic,” Chloe whispers, voicing my thoughts exactly.

  Jesse blushes from the compliment. I’m sure he’s never been called romantic in his life, but for me, he is changing his ways. I have to sort this out.

  Swallowing past the emotional lump lodged in my throat, I say, “Come here, you romantic fool!” Jumping up from the bed, my arms wide open, I jump onto his stomach, holding onto him for dear life.

  I’m home again. God, I’ve missed him. It’s only been a day since I last saw him. This is how I know that he’s the one. I want to spend all of my time with him, hating it if I’m away from him for too long.

  Tears stream down my face, soaking his crumpled shirt. They aren’t sad tears. God no. They are happy tears; happy that everything will be fine again.

  “God, Maisie. I’m so sorry, baby,” Jesse says quietly into my ear, his voice filled with sadness and regret.

  “Everything is okay now,” I console him.

  His grip gets tighter, crushing me. I laugh.

  “Do you forgive me?”

  “Without a doubt. I’m sorry that I didn’t see where you were coming from. I was just so pissed that you betrayed my trust that I was too blind to see your intentions.” I kiss his neck, giving him more proof that I’ve forgiven him, but also because I’ve missed him; mind, body and soul.

  “Thank God!” is all he says before his lips come crashing down on mine. I’m ready and waiting for him, though. I kiss him back like a starved woman. I am a starved woman. I haven’t felt his lips for twenty-four hours. That’s too long if you ask me.

  As I run my hands through his already messy hair, he deepens the kiss.

  I moan from the pure satisfaction I’m feeling right now.

  “Ahem,” Chloe interrupts, reminding us that we aren’t alone.

  I was so in the moment that I’d completely forgotten she was here. Jesse puts me down, his arm going around my waist so that there’s still contact.

  Looking at her sheepishly, I cringe. “I’m sorry,” I tell her, my face burning up. She must have had a show.

  Shrugging her shoulders, a smirk in place, she replies, “Hey, as much as I like sex, I don’t like to watch other people practically dry humping. I can go out if you want to carry on?”

  “If you don’t mind?” Jesse speaks up before me.

  “No! This is your room too, Chloe. We can leave,” I tell her, giving Jesse the stink eye for being so rude.

  “No, no, no. It’s fine. Evan texted me anyway, asking if I want to come over. I’ve already told him yes, so he will be here any minute now.”

  Hmm… I didn’t know that she was still in contact with him. I wouldn’t, though. I haven’t been here for her, so I don’t know who she’s talking to and who she isn’t. I’m not going to lie, but it pisses me off that she’s still seeing him when something is going on with her and Jake.

  Trying to hold my tongue on that matter, I smile and nod my head. It’s all I can manage right now. I need a few minutes to process it. I’ll talk to her later when Jesse’s gone, just to get some insight on the situation.

  As I move to sit on the bed, a horn blares loudly. Chloe jumps up, getting her shoes and jacket. It must be the mighty Evan. Then she’s gone, leaving Jesse and I alone to discuss our troubles.

  Silence is all that greets us for a few minutes. We’re just watching each other, neither of us knowing where to start. The silence is making me nervous, so I bite my lip, giving me something to focus on.

  Jesse, growls, his eyes squinting. What is his problem? This only makes me bite harder. I’ve always had a problem with that. Sometimes, I bite so hard, I cut myself. It’s a bad habit, but one I can’t break because, most of the time, I don’t even realize that I’m doing it.

  He jumps on top of me, crushing me and pushing me into the mattress. His lips come down on mine, pulling my lip from between my teeth. His tongue seeks entry, tangling with mine. I lift my hips, rubbing against his hardness.

  Our clothes are off in record time, with Jesse resting over me, slowly entering me. It’s slow, sweet torture.

  Starting off slow, he showers me with love, showing me with his actions how sorry he is.

  We’re finished all too soon, both of us having a mind shattering orgasm, leaving us breathless. Turning on my side to face him, love overwhelms me. He may have his flaws, but in my eyes, they are what make him perfect.

  “Wow,” I say, giving him a satisfied smile.

  Laughing, he replies, “If that is what make-up sex is like, we should definitely fight more often.” That earns a smack from me. It’s true; that was probably the best sex we’ve ever had. If I wasn’t so tired, I would definitely be up for a replay.

  “We don’t need to argue to have amazing sex. It’s always amazing. Plus, our arguing doesn’t look good on you. You looked like a bag of shit when you walked in earlier,” I tell him seriously.

&
nbsp; “Geez, Maisie, talk about wounding a guy,” he says, feigning hurt. It makes me laugh.

  “I’m being serious. Have you not showered or something? I’m guessing you haven’t, since you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.”

  Giving me his are you serious face, he tells me, “I’ve been too frustrated with myself to do anything but pace my bedroom all day. I’m running on caffeine right now. I’m sure I’m about to zonk out at any minute.”

  “Aww, my poor baby,” I say, stroking his face.

  Jesse singing to me earlier pops into my head, changing my train of thought. I melt inside, just remembering it. I smile, hearing his voice in my head, and remembering the way he looked as he played his guitar with so much precision. It was sexy as hell. He is sexy as hell. And he’s all mine!

  “What are you smiling about?” Jesse asks, distracting me from my day dream.

  What is in front of me is just as good as my day dream; Jesse in all his naked glory. Mmmm…

  “Hello? Earth the Maisie,” he says, poking me in the shoulder. Shit, I must have zoned out again. Get a grip, Maisie. You’ve seen him naked before. I will never get tired of looking at his beautiful body, the body I want to lick all over while running my hands over his hard pecs at the same time.

  “Yes?” I ask, shaking my head to rid myself of my distracting thoughts.

  “What are you thinking about that is making you smile like that?”

  “Oh, just you singing to me earlier,” I tell him dreamily. He laughs uncomfortably at me. “Don’t be ashamed. It was beautiful, Jesse. The most romantic thing anybody has ever done for me. Don’t tell anybody this, but you sing it better than One Direction.” I whisper the last part to him, giving him a wink.

  “Thank you, baby,” he says, accepting the compliment. Good, because I would have fought him on it. “I’ve been learning that song for about a month now. I was going to sing it to you on our three month anniversary, but I needed to do something to win you back. It was my last resort. Now, I have nothing special for our anniversary.”

  “It will be special because I’m with you. I don’t need songs. They are nice, but I just need you.”

  “Come here, you soppy fool.” Cuddling into him, I listen to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore.

  Chapter 20

  Jesse

  It’s been a week since Maisie and I made up, and we are now stronger than ever. Our trust has spiked to higher grounds. We both realize we have each other’s best interests at heart. All in all, we are both extremely happy right now.

  Today is the day that I have been dreading for the last week. The day after we made up, Maisie asked if I would meet her parents this weekend. I begrudgingly agreed. This week has been the longest week of my life. I’ve nearly cancelled a thousand times, and today isn’t any better. We’re leaving in an hour, and I’m this close to cancelling for real. I feel sick to my stomach with nerves. It’s not that I don’t want to meet her parents, because I really do. I’m just not sure if I’m ready yet. I have no experience with meeting girls’ parents. The only experience I’ve had is from watching movies. That didn’t end well, which gives me a bad omen about today.

  I’m doing my usual pacing this morning, waiting for Maisie to come over. My mom keeps looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. She’s been repeatedly telling me ‘not to worry’ and ‘they will love you’. Yeah, she doesn’t know about all the things that I’ve done. To her, I’m the sweet little boy who does nothing wrong; how wrong she is. I know Maisie’s dad will be able to see right through me. It’s a guy thing. We can spot a dickhead a mile away.

  “Jesse, will you sit down, for crying out loud?” My mom scolds, sitting on the sofa trying to read, looking as cool as a cucumber, when I’m anything but.

  I don’t argue with her, but just sit down, tapping my leg instead.

  “And you can cut that out as well,” she says, pointing at my leg.

  Crossing my leg over the other, I sit forward, staring at her. “Mom, are you sure they’re going to like me? You know I’ve never done this kind of shit before.”

  “Jesse, will you stop panicking? They will love you, especially when they see how much you care for their daughter. That’s all any parent cares about,” she says affectionately.

  Nodding my head, I look out the living room window, at the empty street. It doesn’t help my nerves. Spinning my head back toward my mom, who has just started reading again, I tell her, “I don’t think I can do this, Mom. I’m going to have to cancel.” I stand up and start to pull my cell phone out of my pocket to call Maisie.

  “You will do no such thing, Jesse Cohen! Where is my confident boy? The one who doesn’t give a damn what people think about him? Who will try his best to prove his intentions, and who certainly doesn’t let people down? I didn’t raise this boy who is about to cancel on his girlfriend when she is excited to show you off. Now, sit your ass back down on that couch and watch some damn TV or something. Maisie will be here to get you soon, so sort it out before I slap you.” Wow… I haven’t seen feisty Mom in so long that it’s shocked me.

  Staring wide eyed at my mom’s serious face as she glares at me, I ask, “Did you just tell me off?”

  Nodding her head abruptly, she replies, “Yes, I did, and if I have to do it again, I’m grounding you.” Then she gives me a wink.

  That’s all it takes for me to crack up laughing.

  “Well, if I’d have known that was all it took to make you relax, I would have threatened to ground you hours ago. Hell, even last week. You’ve been nothing but a pain in my ass since Maisie asked you to go with her. I could have strung you up a few times, you know?”

  Arghh shit. There goes my good mood within a second. It was nice while it lasted. My face goes flat, my knee shaking again. I check the time. It’s only been five minutes since I last checked it. How long is Maisie going to be?

  “I’m going upstairs. I can’t sit here and watch you anymore. You’re getting on my nerves,” my mom says, getting up from her seat.

  She doesn’t understand what I’m going through right now. She’s not the guy. She’s never been the guy. Parents always love the woman, but never the man. We have to work hard for acceptance.

  A car engine makes me stand up abruptly. I race to the window and see Maisie coming down the road.

  Quickly getting my overnight bag, I grab my wallet, shouting a goodbye to my mom, and head out the door. I’m in the car before she even cuts the engine.

  “Someone’s eager,” Maisie says, laughing.

  She is so beautiful with her hair curly and framing her face today, with minimal make-up on that shows off her flawless features. My nerves instantly vanish being near her. Staring at her plump lips, which are open from her laughing, I sweep her hair behind her ear, and lean my forehead against hers.

  I don’t make a move to kiss her. Right now, I just need to smell her.

  I inhale deeply, so that her sweet scent goes to the back of my nose, and then breathe out a sigh of relief. I don’t know what I’d do if she ever changed her body lotion. This is home for me; my safe place, my comfort. I’d be lost.

  “Are you okay, Jesse?” she asks, looking at me worriedly.

  “Shh, I just need a minute,” I reply, taking another sniff.

  She doesn’t reply, just lets me carry on what I’m doing. She knows me well enough to know when I need a moment to relax.

  When I’m calm, I give her a brief kiss on the lips.

  “Let’s go then, firecracker. To the parents’ house we go!” I say in a chanting voice, pointing behind me.

  Maisie rolls her eyes at me, reversing out of the drive.

  ****

  “We’re here,” Maisie says, nudging me awake.

  I must have fallen asleep. I’m glad I did. For the three hours plus that I was awake, I was a nervous wreck, hardly engaging in conversation.

  “Okay. Just give me a minute to wake up before we go in, please. I don�
�t want to look like shit.” She laughs. I would laugh too, but I’m sweating so badly right now. I’m not finding anything funny.

  As I take in the house in front of me, it looks huge. It’s a normal size, but I feel really small compared to it. I’ll feel even smaller when I’m inside.

  God, I wish Jake was here. Then I’d have a guy on my side. He’s not here, though, as apparently he’s had a falling out with his parents. Great timing for that, buddy. I need you!

  After staring at the house for what feels like hours, I mentally shake myself. Let’s just get this over and done with. What’s the worst that could happen? That they hate me? Or they might love me. I just hope it’s the latter.

  Finding Maisie just staring at me, I give her my bravest smile and say, “Come on then, firecracker. Let’s go meet the parents.”

  She gives me a cautious smile in return, and then moves to get out of the car.

  Meeting her at the front of her car, I grab her hand, as we head toward the front door. The door swings open before we have a chance to knock, scaring the shit out of me.

  A man around my height but stockier stands on the threshold, looking at Maisie with adoration in his eyes. It’s obvious he really loves her, which makes my job of getting him to approve of me harder. Great.

  I watch him give Maisie a hug before he realizes I’m here.

  “I take it you’re Jesse?” Wow, his voice is deep; a lot deeper than mine, and that’s saying something. His eyes narrow, inspecting me from head to toe.

  “Yes, sir,” I say politely, smiling and trying to act confident.

  Don’t let him see your fear. He will thrive on that, I mentally tell myself.

  “Nice to meet you, Jesse. I’ve heard a lot about you,” her dad says vaguely, shaking my hand. Hard. Maisie watches the interaction, not saying a word. Wise woman.

  I hope they are good things. I nod in reply.

  “Let them in for God’s sake, Tim!” a woman says behind him, whom I’m guessing is Maisie’s mom.

  Tim moves aside, letting us in. A woman who looks the spitting image of Maisie, only older, stands in the hallway with a welcoming smile on her face. I instantly feel at ease looking at this woman. She and Maisie could be twins.