The Right Cowboy

by Rebecca Winters

  Sam shook his head. “The rain stopped us from going, but it’s supposed to clear up before morning. We’ll head out then.”

  “After I take care of a few bills in the morning, I’ll drive there later in the day.”

  They talked about ranching problems for a little while, but it was clear Tamsin hadn’t dropped by. He ate his sandwich and swallowed it with a half quart of milk before saying good-night.

  Once he’d gotten ready for bed, he put his beeper on the night table, hoping he wouldn’t be called out on a fire. He hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep since leaving Tamsin’s apartment. Over the last six days, Cole had hoped she’d thought about everything and wanted to be with him. But his worst fear was realized tonight when Louise hadn’t mentioned her name.

  The next morning he awakened to a tap on his door.

  “Louise?”

  “Sorry to bother you. We’re just leaving. I would have let you sleep longer, but you have a visitor waiting for you in the living room. It’s Tamsin. What shall I tell her?”

  He leaped out of bed so fast, he stubbed his toe and let out a moan. “Ask her to wait. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  “Okay.”

  Cole had to be the first man who ever shaved and got dressed in under a minute. He strode through the ranch house to the front room and found the woman he loved studying some small framed photographs of his family on one of the end tables. “What a surprise to see you here.”

  She turned around to face him, looking stunning in jeans and a tan Western shirt with fringe. “I wasn’t sure you would be back until I saw your truck parked at the side of the ranch house.” After a slight hesitation she said, “Last week I had no intention of seeing you again.”

  Why didn’t she tell him something he didn’t know. “What happened to change your mind?”

  “Sally had her baby girl a few days ago.”

  “That’s terrific. Is everyone okay?”

  “Yes. Little Kellie took her time being born, but they’re both healthy and happy. When I was alone with my sister at the ranch yesterday and she asked me if I’d seen you lately, I told her there’d be no point. She shook her head and said, ‘So it’s truly over with you two?’

  “Without answering her question, I told her I had to go and would talk to her later. As I walked out of the bedroom she called to me. ‘Did you know ostriches don’t bury their heads in the sand? They’re much more likely to face a problem head-on, which makes them wiser than one particular human being I love.’”

  A smile broke out on his face. “Your sister is a very intelligent young woman. I take it you’ve decided to drive to Lander with me and face our situation head-on.”

  “If the invitation still stands.”

  He had to tamp down his excitement. “How soon can you be ready to go on an overnight?”

  “I’ll need to drive back to the apartment and pack a few things, including my sleeping bag. It won’t take me long.”

  Cole checked his watch. “It’s ten thirty. I’ll be by your place at noon.”

  “Be sure to bring your guitar and pack some of your recordings. I’d like to hear them.”

  “With Patsy singing? I don’t think so.” He wanted no reminder of her. “I only provide backup guitar.”

  “Her singing won’t bother me. I want to hear the songs you composed in the mountains. Will you let me listen to those? Please?”

  Her brilliant blue eyes begged him. “I’ll see what I can dig up.”

  “Good.”

  “We can grab some lunch at a drive-through before we leave town.”

  “Sounds great. I’ll be ready.”

  He’d been ready for nine years. After walking her out to her car, he hurried inside and rushed around to pack and load the truck. One of his dreams was about to come true.

  The bills could wait for a couple of days. Knowing that Sam had given the stockmen their instructions, Cole could leave the ranch with no worries. He left his beeper by the bed, grabbed his guitar and left through the back door to reach his truck. Louise gave him a thumbs-up on the way out.

  This trip could be the making of them. Or the breaking, a little voice nagged. Cole refused to listen and took off for her apartment. She didn’t trust him. Somehow he had to prove that he would never fail her, but that meant she had to stick with him long enough until she knew the truth of his love for her in her heart.

  When he reached her place, she was waiting for him outside her door with her cowboy hat and boots on. It reminded him of their rodeo days. He took the steps two at a time to grab her overnight case and sleeping bag. “You don’t look a day older than when we were in high school.”

  “Thanks, but we know that’s not true and we can’t go back to those days, Cole. I know I don’t want to.”

  The trail to her heart was riddled with obstacles. He would have to proceed with great care from here on out. After putting her things in his truck, they drove to Hilda’s for a hamburger. Cole remembered she liked pickles, mustard and a fresh limeade. But after what she’d said a few minutes ago, he wasn’t going to make any assumptions about the past. Instead he asked her what she wanted.

  “A beef taco and a cola.”

  He ordered his usual triple-stack cheeseburger with ketchup, fries with fry sauce and a frosted root beer and paid for everything. She shot him a glance. “I can see your eating habits haven’t changed.”

  Amused, he said, “I thought you didn’t want to be reminded of the past.”

  She looked away. “My mistake. I’m sorry I was rude to you earlier.”

  “No offense taken.” He drove on to the pickup window for their food, then found a place to park while they ate.

  “Has there been any word yet about the arsonists responsible for the fires?”

  “Not that I’ve been told. I know they’re working on it. I’ll learn more the next time I’m called in. We can be thankful no lives were lost in the last two fires. Did you talk to Witcom about the one at his house?”

  “Briefly.”

  “Do you mind if we discuss him for a minute, Tamsin?”

  She finished her cola. “There’s nothing to say. Unless he happens to be around family, I won’t be seeing him again.”

  “Because of me.”

  He heard her take a sharp breath. “Because seeing you again proved to me I was still holding back with Dean. If I’d been in love with him the way I was with you, I’d be engaged by now. Nine years ago I would have done anything to be with you. I was ready to run off with you and defy my parents.

  “The truth is, I’ve never loved Dean with that same intensity, but it took your coming back to Whitebark to make me see what was wrong. So it’s better that I’ve broken it off completely.”

  Chapter Six

  That was what Cole had been waiting to hear. Seeing her in Witcom’s arms the night of the fire had practically destroyed him.

  “But the timing of the baby and the fire at his house haven’t made it easy for us since we’ve been forced to see each other one way or another,” she added.

  “That’s tough.” He didn’t tell her that in time it would be easier to see Dean when he came around the family, since he wasn’t certain it would be.

  She turned to him. “Was it tough dealing with Patsy again?”

  “No, because unlike your feelings for Dean, I never felt an attraction to her or thought I might learn to love her. I’ve only ever been in love with one woman.”

  He ate his last french fry. “Did you want to get anything else to eat? Otherwise, I’d like to get going.”

  “Nope, I’m ready.”

  He started the truck and backed out. Before long they were on the highway headed for Lander. The rain had greened up the mountains below the timberline. He had a sense of well-being as he breathed in the fresh clean air. Cole hadn’t felt this al
ive and invigorated in years. There was only one reason why. She was sitting next to him.

  * * *

  TO TAMSIN’S CHAGRIN it was happening. She could feel it. The old magic that had been in hibernation for nine years had sprung to life once more, suffocating her with feelings and sensations she couldn’t suppress. Cole was back. Already he was coloring her world again.

  During their two-and-a-half-hour drive, he turned on the radio, but she turned it off and asked if she could listen to some of his recordings.

  “I brought one. It’s in the glove compartment.”

  She reached for it. Patsy Janis was featured on the cover in a cowboy hat, holding the microphone. The woman was beautiful and sexy. She found it amazing that he hadn’t fallen for her.

  Tamsin turned the CD over and studied the list of six titles on the back. Lyrics and music composed by Cole Hawkins.

  She gasped softly as she read each one. “Doomed to Love Her.” “Her Bluebell Eyes.” “Stranglehold on My Heart.” “Never a Reply.” “Lost to the Winds.” “Wind River Lovin’.”

  Cole—

  Years ago he’d told her she had eyes the color of the bluebells growing in the Winds. As she read each title again, she realized it was a history of their relationship. But “Doomed to Love Her” said it all. He’d described her state of mind.

  Unable to look at him, she slid the disc into the CD player. Patsy’s crooning voice filled the interior of the cab. She was a great singer, but it was Cole’s music and words with his guitar accompaniment that made their way inside her soul.

  She’d expected his music to have that free, easy, on-the-road kind of feeling. But nothing could be further from the truth as they headed for Lander with the Wind River Mountain Range filling their vision. “Doomed to Love Her” reached right into her soul.

  Next came “Her Bluebell Eyes.” It was so beautiful and mournful at the same time, the words squeezed her heart.

  Their eyes met for a breathless moment before the third song came on.

  You know what you do to me,

  You know what you do to my heart,

  Your stranglehold loving,

  Sets our love apart.

  You know I’ll never be free, babe,

  You know I’ll never stray.

  I’m always here for you,

  Until my dying day.

  “Cole—” she cried softly.

  It seems forever since we held each other tight,

  So long since you told me of your love,

  So long to smell your fragrance in the night.

  So long since our kiss at first light.

  You know I’ll never be free,

  You know I’ll never stray,

  I’m always here for you, darlin’,

  Until my dying day.

  With those words, Tamsin broke down and quietly sobbed.

  “If you ever wanted to know my feelings, you know them now. Those were the words I wrote to you in my letters.”

  The letters she’d refused to read.

  She couldn’t talk as the next two songs came on. “Lost to the Winds” and “Never a Reply” almost tore her heart out. But it was when the last song came on that she really lost it.

  Remember the day we had to part?

  Those broken dreams that stomped on my heart?

  Gone were the days of laughter,

  Gone were the nights of joy,

  The end of Wind River lovin’ ripped my soul apart.

  Remember the years of longing, of waiting,

  Trying to pretend everything was all right?

  Remember the mornings you could taste the salt from your tears?

  The dying inside with each passing night?

  Too much pain at the day’s start?

  The end of Wind River lovin’ destroyed my heart.

  To her surprise, when she finally lifted her head, she discovered he’d turned into a rest stop and had reached for her, pulling her close. His shirt was all wet from her tears. She hadn’t been held by him in nine years. Tamsin was so in love with him, she couldn’t breathe.

  Needing to compose herself, she eased out of his arms and sat back on her side of the truck. The emotions she’d experienced listening to the CD had drained her. He started the truck and they took off once more.

  Cole turned on the radio again, but she asked him to turn it off. “Your songs are incredible. You should be out there making more records and performing before a live audience.”

  “I appreciate the compliment, but that’s not my goal in life. I enjoy composing. If one of my songs gets recorded by a great band, that’s terrific, but I’m finally where I want to be. That’s never going to change. And today I’m with the woman who makes me happy.”

  Tamsin shook her head. “We haven’t made each other happy in years.”

  “I’ve had my memories.”

  So have I.

  “Are you ready to make some new ones? We’ve reached Lander. After we stop by the Setons’ and set everything up, it’ll be time to hit the Buffalo Barbecue. Then we’ll all head over to the arena for the rodeo.”

  She swallowed hard, trying to find her voice. “I haven’t been to a rodeo in ages. Do you wish you were performing?”

  “Do you?” he fired back.

  “No. For once it will be fun to watch.”

  “Sounds good to me. I’m getting too old for that kind of fun.”

  She couldn’t imagine him ever being that old.

  He drove them to the Setons’ home, a charming rambler with a big backyard and patio. Farther on was a barn and corral. But what stood out to Tamsin was the fabulous tan-colored tepee erected on the grass. Someone had decorated it with hand-painted horses and it stood at least sixteen feet high.

  She helped Cole carry their gear where they would set up the tent. “Who painted their tepee? It’s fantastic!”

  “Doris. She’s an artist and sells her artwork at the Arapahoe Marketplace in town.”

  “I’ll have to buy something from her.”

  “You can tell her that yourself. She’ll be so happy.”

  When Tamsin turned, she saw four people walking toward them. She knew Sam and Louise, but not their daughter, Doris, or her husband, Tyler. Cole introduced her to them.

  “We’re so glad you could come. Our son Jake is so excited. He wants to be a great bull rider like Cole one day. He’s over at the arena practicing.”

  Tamsin smiled at her. “We’re looking forward to watching him perform in the rodeo. In fact, we can hardly wait. But now that we’re here, I want to know about the artwork you do. I’ve just moved into an apartment and would love to buy something of yours. Cole tells me you’re an artist, and anyone looking at the tepee can see your work is outstanding.”

  “Thank you. I paint a lot of pottery and wall hangings.”

  “Well, before we leave town tomorrow, we’ll go by the shop.”

  “Cole said you wanted to camp out, but feel free to come in the house at any time to use the bathroom and fix yourself some food or a drink.”

  “That sounds terrific. If you don’t mind, I’d like to go in right now.” She turned to Cole. “I’ll be back in a minute to help set up the tent.”

  His piercing brown eyes played over her, not missing an inch. It sent a rush of desire through her body. “There’s no hurry.”

  Doris showed her inside. Once she was refreshed, she walked down the hall, but paused in front of a deerskin wall hanging. It was obviously something Doris had painted. Tamsin read the words of the quote.

  Everything an Indian does is in a circle, and that is because the power of the world always works in circles, and everything tries to be round. The sky is round and I have heard the earth is round like a ball, and so are all the stars. The wind in its greatest power whirls, birds make their n
est in circles, for theirs is the same religion as ours. The sun comes forth and goes down again in a circle. The moon does the same and both are round. Our tepees were round like the nests of birds. And they were always set in a circle, the nation’s hoop. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were.

  —Chief Black Elk

  Stunned by the last sentence, Tamsin read it a second time.

  The seasons always come back again to where they were.

  Was that what she and Cole were doing? Coming back to where they’d begun? Was their love part of the eternal circle? If she’d read this nine years ago after he’d left without her, she would have considered it so much nonsense. But right this minute it made so much sense, it sent chills racing up and down her spine.

  “What a beautiful saying and artwork.”

  “Thank you. We live by it.”

  Tamsin thanked Doris and hurried outside as if a ghost were chasing her. Cole had been out to this house many times. Had he noticed the wall hanging and read it? Of course he had.

  When she reached him, he’d already erected the four-man tent and was chatting with Tyler. She shouldn’t have been surprised he’d done it so fast since it was something he did every time he went up in the mountains. She grabbed her sleeping bag and went inside to lay it out.

  Cole had put his duffel bag on one side with a couple of lanterns, leaving her plenty of space. But the fact remained that they would be sleeping under the same roof tonight. That was something they’d never done before, but only because Cole had never tried to take advantage of her.

  All she had to do was go back outside for her overnight bag, but he brought it in for her, blocking the doorway to the tent with his tall, hard-muscled body.

  “When I told you we’d be sleeping outside, I should have offered to set up another tent. It’s in the back of the truck. If you’re uncomfortable sleeping in here with me tonight, I can do that or I can stay in the tepee.”

  Tamsin kept thinking about that quote on the wall in the Seton home. Maybe the power that moved the world was working on her. “I’d like to sleep in here with you tonight. It’s one of the few things we’ve never done.”