by Joanne Fluke
Doug shook his head. Everyone knew that the home was in financial trouble regularly, and just barely managed to provide facilities for the homeless children they took in.
“I . . . I could help . . .” he faltered. “I could offer to pay for her therapy.”
“With what?” Vivian asked ruthlessly. “If you admit that she’s not Kathi, the Haight money will go to charity. You can’t afford the medical bills without Kathi’s inheritance. You know that.”
Doug nodded painfully. “You’re right,” he said slowly. “I won’t even be able to afford the office rental without the Haight money. You know how long it takes for a law practice to come out of the red.”
“Exactly,” Vivian breathed. “Maybe it’s not the most ethical thing in the world, Doug, but what I’m proposing is the most humane. If you tell the truth now, little Sharon Walker is never going to fully recover. The money is going to charity anyway, and I’m sure the Christ Lutheran Church of St. Cloud wouldn’t even consider footing the bill for her physical therapy. They’ll use the money for their own charities, and it won’t include a poor Catholic orphan.”
Doug nodded again. The whole thing was so confusing. What Vivian said made sense, all right. If he told the truth now, he’d be hurting poor Sharon Walker. He didn’t want to do that, not if there was any way he could help it. The poor girl had suffered enough.
“I-I’ll have to think about it,” he finally conceded. “I . . . I don’t know, Vivian. Before, when I really thought she was Kathi, it wasn’t really fraud. It was an honest mistake. But this way—”
“Just think of what will happen when that poor girl finds out that you’re not her father,” Vivian prodded. “Just when she’s beginning to recover, her whole world is going to explode again. I wouldn’t like to be the person responsible for that!”
“No,” Doug said slowly. “I . . . I couldn’t do that. She’s so sweet . . . such a sweet little girl. I couldn’t do that to her.”
Vivian sighed. She had said enough.
CHAPTER 28
“Yeah,” Harry said, nodding when Doug had finished his halting story. “Yeah . . . it’s okay, Doug. Your secret’s safe with me. It’s a hell of a lot different than I thought.”
He sighed again and looked down at the papers spread out on the table. “All right, Doug. I’m sorry I flew off the handle before. I guess I might have done the same thing myself, if I’d been in your place.”
Vivian stared at Harry hopefully. Would he keep their secret? Would Harry help them out of this mess?
“What can we do now?” Doug asked, his hands still shaking. “Shall I try to explain everything that happened, make a clean breast of it and hope the people will understand?”
“Not on your life!” Harry exclaimed vehemently. “One little hint of scandal, no matter how good of an excuse you had, and they’ll rip you to shreds. You’d better let me take care of it. If I found out, someone else could find out too. I’ll fix it for you.”
Doug shook his head in wonder. And he thought they had covered everything up so thoroughly! He couldn’t help but gaze at Harry with new respect. “What are you going to do?” he asked doubtfully. “How can you fix it?”
Harry grinned. He was in his element now. “Relax.” He shrugged, crossing his legs. “No one’s going to find out after I get through. It’s just a matter of a little addition to Kathi’s birth records. All we have to do is write in a few things, so her records and Sheri Walker’s records will match. Then nobody’ll ever be the wiser.”
Doug nodded slowly. That made sense. But how did one go about altering permanent records? “How?” he asked.
Harry waved his hand nonchalantly. “I’ve got some friends in the right places,” he explained vaguely. “I’ll take care of it for you. The less you know about it, the better. Just remember . . . no more secrets from me.”
Doug cringed. What Harry was implying was illegal. He opened his mouth to protest, then shut it again quickly. What he and Vivian had done was illegal too. Harry’s suggestion was no worse. They had to alter the records of Kathi’s birth so they matched the accident records. There was no other way.
“All right, Harry,” Doug agreed, adding another brick of guilt to the wall he’d built around him. “All right.... And no more secrets.” He reached out to shake Harry’s hand.
“I’ll walk Harry to the door.” Vivian came up quickly behind Doug. “You just go right upstairs and get some sleep. I’ll be up in a minute.”
“We’ve got to reach Kathi, Harry! I think she’s starting to remember the accident, and she could be trouble!”
Harry gazed down into Vivian’s beautiful face and saw fear there, but it wasn’t fear for Kathi. She had said that Kathi could be trouble, not be in trouble. It seemed she was more worried about Doug losing the election than she was about Kathi.
“I’ll handle it, Vivian,” Harry said gruffly, shaking her hand off his arm. “You handle Doug, and I’ll handle Kathi.”
Vivian breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Harry,” she said, turning stiffly and stepping back. “Can you let yourself out? I’ll go right upstairs to Doug.”
“Sure, Vivian,” Harry said to Vivian’s back. He gave a shake of his head as he stepped out into the dark night. It was a damn good thing he got Bev’s home phone and address from the college records. He’d give Kathi a call first thing in the morning and make a quick trip to Arizona to explain this whole thing to her. Kathi was confused and frightened now that her memory was starting to come back to her. No wonder the poor kid thought she was possessed!
CHAPTER 29
It was as if an alarm had gone off in her head. Kathi sat up in bed suddenly, blinking at the light of early dawn. There were no sounds of life in the house, no one moving about. She could tell it was very early, but she wasn’t tired at all. Instead, there was a sense of urgency running through her. She had to get up. She had to get dressed without waking David or his parents and get away on her own.
Quietly, almost stealthily, Kathi pushed back the patchwork quilt that David’s mother had made. She dressed methodically, donning a pair of faded blue jeans and a warm wooly sweater. There was paper and pen in her purse, and she took time to scribble a note to David saying that she had gone off exploring on her own. That would buy her some time.
They would probably sleep late. David had been up until early morning, talking with his parents. By the time they thought to look for her, it would all be over. Then she would be truly free....
* * *
It wasn’t until she was halfway down the hill that she remembered the ring. She had taken it off last night and placed it on the table next to her bed.
Kathi’s step faltered. Perhaps she should go back and retrieve it. It was Sally’s mama’s lucky ring, but hadn’t Sally said that each person made their own luck? It was time to trust her own. She would be okay without it. Already her feet seemed to trace a remembered path, breaking into a run of their own accord.
“Come on, Baver . . . let’s run! I won’t run too fast for you this time. I promise. We’ll run all the way to the swings, okay?”
Left at the bottom of the hill, then two blocks. There was the park. She was running harder now, her legs moving automatically . . . left . . . right . . . left . . . right . . . one foot in front of the other, in step with her brother.
The park. Different now. The swings lower and smaller than she remembered. Everything in miniature. . . the metal merry-go-round painted orange now, instead of green. Baver had been afraid to go too fast.
“See, look, Baver . . . grab like this and jump really hard. You can do it! You can get up all by yourself !”
His lower lip was quivering . . . tears starting to roll down his cheeks . . . soft baby cheeks. “I’m not big yet! I want to be big!”
“Don’t cry, Baver . . . you’ll get even bigger than me someday. I’ll make it go around. You like to go around don’t you, Baver?”
A squeal and a chuckle. Now he wasn’t crying anymore
. She knew how to stop Baver from crying. Every time, she knew how. The Tiger told her. The Tiger helped her, and she helped Baver, just like Mommy and Daddy used to do before they went away.
Time to go home now, down the cement sidewalk carefully . . . step on a crack, break your mother’s back . . . past the tall hedge . . .
There it was! The house stood before her—big and familiar—the wooden boards shaped like a sunburst beneath the bedroom windows. It was deserted. In the front porch window was a small sign, FOR RENT, and penciled in beneath it, CHECK INSIDE AND INQUIRE NEXT DOOR IF INTERESTED. Kathi glanced quickly at the house next door. For a moment, she thought she saw a curtain slide hastily back into place, but the sign said to go right in. She didn’t even have to ask for a key.
As Kathi stared, unblinking, at the front porch door, she saw the interior of the house as clearly as if she were inside. There was another door inside the first one, and then a hallway, steps leading upstairs to the room under the eaves—the room with yellow flowers on the walls and crisp white curtains, a picture of a ballet dancer on one wall and another one over the bed, a smiling bear that glowed in the dark. She remembered . . .
Kathi felt eyes on her back as she put her foot on the red brick step. Someone was watching her. But she had to go inside. Sheri was here . . . stronger than she’d ever been before.
“Home! Oh yes . . . I’m home!”
The voice broke inside her head as she opened the front door and gazed around the glass-windowed porch. For a moment, she saw clearly. The house was empty—cold and deserted—without curtains or furniture to relieve the square, box-like rooms. But her focus kept slipping. The image of the bare, lifeless rooms faded away, and she saw the old cane rocker in the corner, a braided rug beneath it, and the heavy stand filled with magazines. It was just as she knew it would be.
“Rock me, Auntie! Rock Baver too! We love it when you rock us! Please?”
“Not too big a girl for rocking, honey? Come here, then, you two little wild Indians. Here, there’s room for both of you. This chair’s rocked many a child, and now it’ll rock my two favorite wild Indians.”
The air was rich with the smell of fresh bread baking in the kitchen. Auntie baked bread every afternoon. Oh, she loved it here! It was almost as nice as living with Mommy and Daddy.
“Yes, you can have a cookie, honey, and get one out for your brother too. Just be careful not to drop the lid of the cookie jar.”
“I’ll be very careful! Don’t worry, Auntie! I won’t drop it!”
The cookies had chocolate chips in them. She could taste the crunchy bits of sweetness, and she smiled. It was warm in the kitchen from the stove, warm and friendly, and a happy place for two children to be.
The kitchen table still had crumbs from lunch. Auntie had been too busy to wipe it off. She would do it for Auntie. That would show that she was a big girl, and so helpful. Auntie would be pleased.
Her own stool was pushed under the cupboard and she lifted it up and carried it to the table. There. Now she could reach to wipe it off. Her stool was so pretty with little roses. Uncle had made the stool just yesterday.
The table was clean now, the place mats piled neatly in the center. Auntie would say that she was a good girl for helping, and she hadn’t dropped the lid of the cookie jar either. Oh, she was being good today. The bad ladies couldn’t take them away if she was this good. Auntie wouldn’t let them.
“Time to wash your hands for supper, honey. Take your stool with you and help your brother wash too. And don’t forget your faces. We don’t want any dirty faces at the supper table.”
Suppertime already, and Baver squealed when she tried to lift him up to his high chair. Oh, he wasn’t mad. He loved it when she tried to pick him up. Sometimes they fell to the floor and laughed until their tummies hurt.
“Let me, Sheri. He’s too heavy for you. Our little boy’s getting so big. He’ll be able to climb up by himself one of these days. Isn’t that right, son?”
She smiled and turned to look at her baby brother in his chair. The lights in the room seemed to flicker and fade, and when her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw that the high chair was empty, pushed back against the wall. He was gone!
“I want Baver! I want Baver to come back, Auntie!”
“I know you do, darling.” The voice was soft with unshed tears. “But things don’t always happen the way we want them to. Baver’s got a new mommy and daddy, and I bet he’s not crying like you are. You have to be a big girl, honey.”
“I’m not a big girl! I’m just a little girl, and I want my Baver! He doesn’t need a new mommy and daddy! All he needs is me and you and Uncle! Please, Auntie, please go tell the bad ladies to bring Baver back!”
“Oh, baby . . . come here and sit on Auntie’s lap. You can cry if you want to. I think I’m going to cry too.”
With one hand, Sheri reached around Auntie’s neck, hugging her close, and with the other she felt for the soft, fuzzy tiger that was always beside her. But it wasn’t there. The Tiger was gone too.
“Hush, child, don’t you remember? You gave your toy to your brother. Do you remember now?”
Yes, she remembered. She had given the Tiger to Baver. The Tiger promised to keep him safe and tell him all the nice things he had told her. Baver needed the Tiger. She had Auntie and Uncle, but Baver had nobody.
“I’m here, Sheri Bear. . . . I’m very close to you. All you have to do is find me. It’s a game, Sheri. . . . A nice game to play. Find me. . . . If you find me, everything will be all right. If you find me, I’ll take you to Mommy and Daddy.”
She flew down the stairs. She had to find the Tiger. It was time! Now, at last, he would take her to Mommy and Daddy! All she had to do was listen, and she would find him.
CHAPTER 30
“Here! I’m over here! ” The whispering voice called her. “Come here, Sheri! Hurry now! I can’t wait for long. You’ll have to hurry!”
She hurried, running toward the hill. With the Tiger to lead her, she retraced her steps past the hedges and the park, up the hill to the solitary house. The Tiger was here . . . right here in this new house. She wasn’t sure how he’d got here, but his voice was calling her up the stairs.
There were people in the kitchen. She could hear them talking—David’s voice and his mother’s. They didn’t even know she had gone out. She had fooled them . . . she and the Tiger. But where was he? Not in the hallway. Not on David’s bed. Not on the dresser. Where?
“In here, Sheri Bear! Let me out! Open the door, and let me out!”
And there he was, high on the closet shelf, above David’s clothes and books. She could reach him now. She had grown so much since the last time she had seen him.
“You found me, Sheri! You found me, and you found Baver. Didn’t you know he was your own baby brother? Run now! Run fast! You know where to go . . . you’ve always known where to go.”
Ah! He was the same! Just the same! David had taken good care of him. Of course, the Tiger was David’s now, but she’d just borrow him. She needed him for a little while, and then David could have him back. The Tiger would help her now, and then the Tiger would help David.
She didn’t hear them calling her as she flew from the house and into the woods, clutching the Tiger tightly against her breasts. She heard nothing except the whispering . . . whispering . . . whispering of the Tiger, and she laughed happily. He was going to take her back to Mommy and Daddy. He had promised! And later, when Baver was ready, he would take Baver too! Then they could all be together, not like now, with Mommy and Daddy gone, but all together in some secret place.
The sharp bushes tore at her face and hands as she ran, stumbling a little on the uneven ground. They weren’t following her any longer. She had lost them, just as the Tiger wanted her to. A light rain had started to fall, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except to run fast . . . run like a big girl with the Tiger, straight to Mommy and Daddy.
“Here?” she stopped, surprised. “Wher
e? Are Mommy and Daddy here?”
The railroad crossing stretched out before her, its gleaming silver strands wet in the mist. She peered in first one direction, and then the other. She didn’t see Mommy and Daddy anywhere. Could the Tiger be playing a trick on her?”
“Where are you?” she called out, feeling butterflies of fright dart in her veins. “I’m scared!”
“I’m right here, Sheri Bear. You’re old enough to know the secret now, and it’s time. Your Mommy and Daddy are waiting for you. Hurry, Sheri . . . you mustn’t keep them waiting any longer.”
There was no one to see as she knelt on the wooden ties of the tracks and pressed her ear down, listening . . . listening for Mommy and Daddy to come. The Tiger had promised. Soon the rails would sing a welcome home song.
She remained motionless for a time and then nodded, rising gracefully to her feet. She was careful to stand straight and tall the way Mommy and Daddy wanted her to. She was a good girl. She was a very good girl and all grown up now.
There was a peaceful smile on her face as the lights started to blink and the wooden arm lowered. She could hear the Tiger’s voice even though the ringing bells were loud in her ears.
“You’re almost there, Sheri Bear . . . almost there. Just a little longer, and you’ll be home again.”
CHAPTER 31
They heard the heavy pounding of her footsteps as she hurtled down the stairs, eyes wild, clutching the toy tiger in her arms. The heavy front door slammed behind her before David could even move. He raced for his shoes with a feeling of dread that made his fingers fumble as he pulled them on.
“I’ll get her!” he called out to his astonished parents, the sight of their shocked faces fixed in his mind as he raced toward the woods, hoping to catch sight of her red sweater through the trees.
David stopped and listened, the instincts of an outdoorsman sharpened by fear, but there was no sound. Only the wind rustling the leaves and a far-off rumbling of distant thunder. A sharp gust of wind made his eyes water as he plunged forward in the direction he thought she would take, but it was only when he heard the train whistle that he knew for sure. Kathi had gone to the crossing—the train crossing in the clearing. He wondered, fleetingly, why she had taken his old toy tiger from the closet.
