Falling Too Deep

by Shay Lee Giertz

  “Wait. I’ve got the golf cart,” Lucas said. “Let’s all hop on. I’ll swing by Brooke’s cabin, then we can head to the party.”

  Jayce and Maddie agree, so I reluctantly followed them to Lucas’s golf cart. Maddie sat in the back and patted the seat for Jayce. I watched them tease each other and laugh. Wow. Maddie does move fast. Unless she was trying to make Lucas jealous. Who currently sat by himself in the front. “You coming?” he asked.

  I tried to catch Jayce’s eye, but he wasn’t paying me any attention. I exhaled loudly and got in.

  “So, your birthday, huh?” Lucas said as he zoomed south down the boardwalk. “An Independence Day baby.”

  “It’s July second. I’m a close-to-Independence-Day baby.”

  “But close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.”

  “Right. Which means what exactly?”

  “You know, I’m not sure.” Lucas laughed. “My grandpa always says that whenever he’s golfing. And in business deals.”

  He slowed to a stop in front of the cabin. “Give me a few minutes,” I said, sliding out from the cart.

  “No,” Jayce groaned. “Not a few minutes. You’ve got thirty seconds. Get a new shirt and let’s get going.”

  “Don’t be bossy,” I said with an attitude. “It’s still my birthday.”

  As soon as I got to the deck stairs, Bobby jumped out from around the cabin, yelling like a banshee. I barely had time to register what was happening before he and his friends released their mega-squirt guns. I screamed and moved up the stairs, but they were on both sides of the cabin. By the time I reached the door, I was drenched.

  “Happy birthday, big sis,” Bobby said while the others cheered. “You have been officially baptized.”

  I slowly wiped my face and turned to face them. Everyone laughed, including Lucas, Jayce, and Maddie. “You’re dead,” I said. “I don’t know when or how, but the time will come.”

  Mom opened the screen door, stepped outside, and aimed a squirt gun at me. “Sorry, dear.” She commenced squirting me with water.

  “You’re late, Mom,” Bobby said.

  “I know. I was taking a shower and didn’t hear your war cry.”

  “At least you don’t have to take a shower!” Jayce called out to me.

  “Vengeance is mine,” I said, giving everyone a steely gaze. “I will repay.”

  “I thought that was the Good Lord’s job.” Mom kissed me on my cheek.

  “In this instance, He’s given me permission to retaliate as I see fit.”

  Mom and Bobby looked at each other, then back at me. “You have three seconds before we all grab you and dump you into Lake Michigan,” Bobby said. “One…two…”

  I ducked inside and declared myself “Safe!” I desperately wanted a shower and bed, but in all honesty, I wouldn’t mind having a good time with friends. I threw on some more deodorant before stepping into a mini-skirt and tank combo.

  Combing my hair back, I decided on a braid then used a headband to keep the frizzies in place. The golf cart started honking. I heard Jayce bellowing outside to move it or lose it. I took one last look in the mirror before leaving.

  “Bye, traitor,” I said to Mom.

  Mom laughed. “Bobby and Lucas planned it at dinner. Lucas was supposed to make sure to get you here before the party. By the way, just a heads up, there might be a birthday cake there.”

  “What about keeping it a secret?”

  “I did. Bobby didn’t.”

  I groaned, blew Mom a kiss, and then stepped outside.

  “You,” I said to Lucas as I slid onto the passenger seat. “…tricked me.”

  Lucas gave a half-grin, showing his one dimple. The mischief in his eyes released the butterflies in my stomach. “You’ll never prove it.”

  “I have a witness. My mom just told me how you and Bobby conspired against me.”

  Lucas didn’t act remotely apologetic. “We devised the plan at dinner.”

  “I’m glad to see you admit your guilt.”

  “My only guilt is wanting you to have a fun birthday. I can’t believe you wouldn’t take the night off. You only turn eighteen once.”

  “It was a great day for the most part. My mom made my favorite breakfast, and there was a yummy cake. Oh, and presents.” I thought about my dad’s third book but kept that part to myself.

  “What’d you get?”

  “I got some cash from my grandparents. Mom got me a bookstore gift card, a new cell phone case, and some work shoes. Bobby got me a pair of pink socks. Oh, and a late baptism.”

  “Pink socks?”

  I laughed. “Mom probably made him go into town with her to get me a gift, and he probably chose the first thing he saw that looked girlie.”

  We arrived at the beach party where the bonfire blazed and the music pumped. Let’s Go Crazy began to play across the speakers. “Jayce!” I exclaimed.

  But Jayce had already jumped out of the cart and grabbed my hand. “Excuse me,” he said to Lucas. “I have to borrow my friend for a moment. They’re playing our song.”

  Jayce and I ran to the middle of a small group of dancers. “Are you sure you want to embarrass yourself?” he asked.

  “I have about a minute left of my birthday,” I said. “Let’s do this!”

  Prince’s opening riff turned to the heart-pounding, head-banging chorus. Jayce and I openly air-guitared and lip-synced the entire song. At the end, we panted and laughed our way over to a cooler. Jayce threw his arm around me. “No one else can beat us as dancers.”

  “Of course not,” I gushed, while Jayce handed me a can of Diet Coke. “We are rock stars.”

  He opened up a Coke of his own. “Cheers,” he said, clanging his with mine. “To us.”

  “To us.”

  Maddie came over. “If you’d waited for me, I’d have danced with you.” She acted all in a huff, but her grin showed she was only teasing.

  “I’ll dance with you right now,” I said. “No need to be jealous.”

  “Good. I want both of you dancing. Let’s go!”

  We headed back to the growing group of dancers getting down with Drake. I glanced around wondering where Lucas was. I didn’t want him to be by himself. But then I saw him chatting with two girls. Shrugging, I turned to Jayce and Maddie, telling myself it was for the best. Maddie was in full flirt mode with Jayce, and it turned from the three of us dancing to the two of them dancing.

  Jayce tried to include me, but Maddie had taken over.

  “I’m going to get something else to drink,” I yelled over the music.

  Jayce tried to get away, but Maddie pulled him back to her.

  “Don’t worry about it!” I yelled.

  Once at the sidelines, I found the coolers, grabbed a Diet Coke, and took a seat right in the sand. My attention landed on the bracelet. I rubbed the stone and traced the lettering with my finger.

  It was such a thoughtful gift, and my heart warmed thinking about Jayce. My eyes scanned the throng of people until I saw him in the crowd. It wasn’t Lucas who caught my attention. I couldn’t take my eyes off my best friend.

  15

  I opened my laptop and hit the power button. These early mornings were rough, but I had fallen into a routine. Wake up drenched. Change blankets. Take a shower. Make coffee. Write Dad’s book.

  The dream seemed to be stuck on repeat, which frustrated me. I’d endure the early mornings a lot better if the dreams led me to some specific conclusion. Unfortunately, I’d wake up right when I’d lose consciousness. It didn’t make sense. I had made it out alive, but the dreams told me a different story. If the dream was a memory of what had happened, then I had become stuck in the kayak and drowned.

  It’d been over a week since my birthday, and Mom had asked every morning if I remembered anything more. Then yesterday she sprang the idea of going to a therapist to talk about the dream, begging me to even undergo hypnosis. I told her I’d think about it, which was my passive-aggressive way of saying no wa
y.

  The smell of coffee brought me out of my reverie. I yawned, rubbed my eyes, and while the document opened on the computer, I poured some coffee, adding my cream and sugar. As I sipped, I noted it was just past 4:30 in the morning. Normally, I could sleep until at least 6:30! Even though I hadn’t been out after work at all since my birthday, I could barely manage six hours of sleep a night. I’d go back to bed, but I couldn’t risk oversleeping and Mom discovering what went on with the dreams.

  I sipped my coffee and continued writing where I left off. As always, I got sucked into the story. I found that I loved writing. It connected me to Dad in a deep way, as if finishing the book was a gift meant only for him. I never ran out of ideas, and the moment I stepped into Esmerelda’s character, I lost sense of time and reality.

  Right as I typed that Esmerelda shoved her poisoned sword through the acid heart of the King of Hades, I heard a car pull up onto the cabin’s gravel driveway. I would have ignored it—sometimes people use the driveway to turn around—but then I heard two car doors open and shut. I stepped away from the kitchen table and peered out the side window. Two people were walking around the house. I moved to the door that led out to the deck and questioned opening it to scare whoever it was. My decision was made when I heard footsteps climbing the stairs and walking across the deck to the door. I immediately thought of Heather and wondered if she was pulling one of her pranks. I flipped on the porch light and opened the door at the same time. “AHA!” I yelled.

  Mom screamed and jumped, dropping her purse. But I wasn’t focused on her for long. Because Mr. Fairchild stood right beside her.

  “You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Mom pressed a hand to her heart.

  My eyes hadn’t left Mr. Fairchild. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I partly blamed myself. The last few weeks, I had become so busy with work and writing and trying to figure out the do-over that I sort of forgot about Mom’s secret from the previous summer. “You deserve to be startled,” I said, finally turning my attention to Mom. I glared at her. “It’s nearly 5 a.m. And what are you doing with Mr. Fairchild?”

  “Easy there,” Mr. Fairchild said in surprise.

  “We went dancing. And I haven’t had such fun in a looooooong time.” She leaned against the doorpost, and I realized she was a little wobbly.

  Suddenly, Mrs. Fairchild rounded the corner of the cabin.

  “I’ve got to go to the bathroom.” She tripped over the top step, clearly tipsy.

  Relief flooded me. “You went dancing too?”

  “Oh, Brooke!” She was a little too loud. “What are you doing up so early? Did you go to Heather’s party? I bet it was fun.” She started sashaying on the deck.

  Mom started laughing. “Come on,” she said to Mrs. Fairchild. “I’ll show you the way to the bathroom.”

  I went back to the table, embarrassed that I implied Mom and Mr. Fairchild were having an affair. Eventually, the Fairchilds left, and Mom excused herself to bed. “We’ll discuss your unfounded accusations about me and George later, but I haven’t stayed out this late since I was in college. I’m about to fall over.”

  Without looking up, I kept working on the story. But my eyes felt gritty. I had to stop and rub them periodically. I finished the scene I’d been working on, saved the draft, then shut the laptop. I yawned and leaned back, wishing that I could go to sleep without the dream. Or the night sweats.

  I rested my head on the table and closed my eyes, telling myself I’d relax for a few minutes without falling asleep. Suddenly I felt completely submerged. The water was extremely cold and dark, and I was sinking.

  Just as suddenly as the submersion came, it left. I fell with a solid thud. I was back in the cabin, on the floor, the chair laying on its side.

  I sat up and began to panic. My shirt was soaked, as were my shorts. I felt my hair and squeezed. Lake water dripped over my shoulder. I muffled a sob and got on all fours, scanning the cabin like a frenzied caged animal. This wasn’t just a night sweat.

  But nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Except for me and the puddle of water that now pooled around me. I picked up the chair and stood up, checking to see if the laptop had become soaked, too. But no, everything on the table was okay.

  I covered my mouth, absolutely shaken to the core. I no longer wanted to be by myself. I grabbed my cell phone on the table and called Jayce, but it went to his voice mail. I checked the kitchen clock. It was already nine in the morning. I had slept that long?

  I felt the warning signs of a panic attack, so I turned the television on Good Morning America and focused on cleaning up the puddle of lake water.

  What was that? Whatever it was felt different than my dreams. Either someone had dumped water all over me, or what I just experienced had actually happened.

  Was there any place safe anymore? As I finished wiping up the floor, I felt the water again. It was there. Inside of me. I felt it.

  Did thinking about it for too long take me there?

  I called Jayce again. “Jayce! It’s me. We’ve got to talk. I’m seriously freaking out.”

  The pounding of my heart grew louder and more persistent. I then heard someone pounding on the door. I managed to get to the door and fling it open. I had never been more relieved to see a real live person than at that moment. Which probably explained why I threw my arms around Lucas, whispering, “I’m so glad you’re here.”

  “Whoa,” Lucas said in surprise. After a brief hesitation, he hugged me in return. “You all right?”

  “No. Yes. I don’t know.”

  When I finally could breathe normally again, I stepped back, heat rushing to my face. “I thought you were someone else,” I mumbled.

  Lucas raised his eyebrows as he took in the sight of me. That’s when it hit me that I had only had on a flimsy t-shirt and short shorts. And they were wet. I covered myself. “I’m going to change. Stay right there.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Bobby opened up his bedroom door, walked into the living room, took one look at the both of us, and headed to the kitchen. “Did you have to be so loud?” he asked while he poured cereal.

  I didn’t answer. On my way to change, I paused outside Mom’s room. Hopefully, she still slept.

  I showered as fast as I could, slipped back into my room, and dressed. Combing my hair, I vowed not to act like a lunatic in front of Lucas.

  When I walked into the front room, I saw Lucas studying the place.

  “This cabin hasn’t changed a bit since we stayed here about six years ago.”

  “You guys stayed here?” Bobby asked in disbelief.

  “Yeah, well, our beach house was being renovated, so there were a few weeks we needed a place to stay, and we didn’t have the yacht yet.” He stopped looking around to look in my direction. “Are you feeling any better?”

  I looked at him for a second, unsure of what to say. So I simply said, “I don’t know.” I noticed the package he was holding. “So, what brings you here?”

  “A late birthday present. I felt bad last week that it was your birthday, and I didn’t have anything for you.”

  “You didn’t have to get me anything,” I said, wanting him to leave but not wanting to appear ungrateful.

  He handed me the thin package. “It’s nothing much. I thought it could replace the one I ruined.”

  I took the package and opened, completely clueless as to what he was talking about. Then I pulled out the children’s book, Where the Wild Things Are. “Oh, wow,” I said. Is this the book—“

  “That I tore up as a kid? Yes. Well, it’s a new book. To replace that one.”

  “Thank you. This is a nice surprise. And very thoughtful.”

  “Since I did something thoughtful, maybe you’ll forgive me for whatever it is I’ve done wrong and give me a chance to get to know you. Since you’ve already hugged me, I’m going to take that as a good sign.”

  “You haven’t done anything wrong.” What should I say? That I was scared? That
I was living out a nightmare and a do-over at the same time? “I’ve got a lot going on right now, and I’m kind of a mess. Not your typical country club girl. It’s just easier this way.”

  “Have you ever thought that I like that about you? You’re not typical. You’re not chasing after me or my family trying to get into our pockets. I mean, look at you. You can stay here for free and enjoy summer, and what do you do? You get a job!”

  “My idea of a good time is reading. Alone.”

  “I like reading, too. And fishing. And hunting. And when I’m not doing any of those things I’m on my sailboat. Alone. Or hiking. Alone.”

  “You’re making this difficult.”

  “Tell you what. I came over here early because I know you start work in the afternoons. But you have some time, right? Why don’t we go get a bite to eat somewhere? We can discuss the literary merit of books, or how boring we both are, or whatever you want to talk about. I’m open. If at the end, we decide that we don’t like each other, and there is no attraction—even though I can say that from my end of things there is—then we go our separate ways.”

  “Gross,” Bobby muttered, as he left the kitchen for his bedroom. “I can’t stomach to watch anymore.”

  Lucas and I laughed.

  “What do you say?” he asked. “If you’re hungry, I know a great breakfast joint about twenty minutes from here.”

  My brain told me not to go. I had a lot to think about and figure out. And I wanted to talk to Jayce. But Lucas Fairchild stood before me, looking all sweet and gorgeous, and I didn’t know how to get myself out of the situation. Taking a deep breath, I walked to the door and held it open. “So where are you taking me?”

  ***

  We went to a local hole-in-the-wall that he promised served the best breakfast around. It wasn’t nearly as fancy as the Boardwalk Restaurant, but it sounded delicious.

  And it was. Lucas ordered biscuits and gravy, bacon and hash browns, and an omelet. My stomach was still in knots from my strange morning, but I tried to eat some of the food and make light conversation. I kept telling myself to forget about what happened and focus on the fact that I, Brooke McFadden, sat across the table from Lucas on what had to be considered a date.