Drake walks slowly towards Jax’s human form. They must be having an internal mind link because I don’t hear what Jax is saying; I’m clearly not included in their silent conversation. Jax glares at Drake enough to make him drop his head in obedience.
Drake gives me one final look before disappearing into the woods.
Jax’s glare turns to me.
He starts walking in my direction, then drops down to one knee right in front of me. The anger coming from him is enough to make me retreat away from him. His black hair is held back in a small ponytail at the back of his head, his face is clean shaven though and his eyes are magnetic. I can’t stop staring even as I back away.
“No! Don’t move away from me. Come here now, Alexia.” He uses his Alpha voice, and even though he’s not my Alpha, I still can’t fight my wolf. She wants to obey him, so I move closer towards him.
I stand right in front of him as his eyes look me over. Raising his right hand he moves to scratch my head between my ears. He grabs my face between both his hands and places a kiss on top of my snout. He continues to look my coat over, and I can’t help but notice the corners of his lips curve as if he’s holding in a smile. I get a fright when he moves suddenly, unzipping his black jacket. His face has now turned back to that stern look he wore earlier and his voice is serious as he speaks.
“Take this and shift,” he says, pushing the jacket towards my mouth.
“No, I’m not turning in front of you,” I link to him, taking a step away.
“Alexia, now is not the time to fuck with me. Shift now!” He says, his tone making me quiver.
He’s never spoken to me this way. Not once.
I grab the jacket and move around a small bush. I know it won’t hide much, but I’m counting on him turning around. “I’m not looking, Lex. Just fucking turn already,” he says.
Shit he heard me.
I make myself turn, quickly placing the enormous jacket over my naked body. I turn to find him looking at me with a starved look in his eyes.
I can’t do this… I need to get away.
I turn back and start running in the direction of the road, but Jax is too quick, grabbing my arm and pushing me against a tree with a harsh thud. I forgot how tall he is, I have to look up to find his dark eyes; dark, hungry eyes.
His nose runs along my forehead as I feel him breathing me in. He wraps his arms around me, one going into my hair and he pulls me into his warmth.
“I’ve missed you so fucking much,” he whispers against my hair.
I’m frozen to the spot, surrounded by his warmth and scent. I want to hate the way it feels to be surrounded by him, I want to hate it so fucking much… I just can’t.
I’ve missed it. I’ve missed the feeling of just being wanted by someone, and most of all… I’ve missed him. But none of this can happen, none of this is allowed to happen. I shouldn’t even be here.
“No!” I shake my head, “It was a mistake coming here. I shouldn’t have. I need to go.” I push against his chest, and he moves away from me a little, but looks down with concern covering his face with his hands still on either side of my jaw.
“You turned, you survived your first shift. Jesus, I was so stupid.”
He allows me to push past him and I start walking in the direction of my territory; his words have infuriated me.
“Yeah, you are stupid. You rejected me because you thought I was weak. Do you still think I’m weak?” I lift my hands up, shouting at him and emphasising the words as I continue to walk.
He follows and pushes me up against a huge rock boulder. This time picking me up, leaving me with no other choice but to wrap my legs around him to keep me from falling.
“Jax! Put me down!” I smack my hands on his shoulders repeatedly, but it doesn’t work. He’s standing with me tightly sandwiched between the boulder and his warm hard body.
My hands come to rest gently on top of his shoulders when I see only adoration in his eyes as he stares at me. I miss having that look directed towards me. Sometimes there’s a few seconds when I’ll catch the twins looking at me like that, but it quickly vanishes. The feeling of being loved replaced with the hurtful words coming from their mouths.
We stare at each other, sharing the same breath; he looks so much older than his years. I can tell he’s got so much more responsibility now that he’s officially Alpha of the pack. I recognise how stressed and tense he is by the stiffness in his shoulders that lay beneath my fingers.
He moves closer into my space, his forehead resting against mine. I don’t mean to, but I squeeze my legs tighter around his waist only making the jacket slide up further. I get goose bumps along my legs when I feel his rough hands on my thighs moving higher towards my hips. Our breath is now laboured and harsh, we’re both fighting this losing battle of attraction.
I close my eyes and just as I’m about to move my head from his, he pushes against me harder and I let out a short gasp. His lips find mine and I lose the battle.
I give into the connection I’ve always wanted with him. The connection that formed wasn’t because he was supposed to be my mate, or anything else wolf related. I always wanted Jax. We built our own connection way before the Fates got involved. He bites my bottom lip and I allow his tongue to find mine. I weave my hand into his hair pulling out the elastic band in it. I moan and so does he when I grab a handful of hair and tug.
I move my mouth away needing air.
“We need to stop,” I say, breathing heavily as he moves his body against mine. His lips continue to press gentle kisses on my neck and collar bone.
“I can’t… I want you so bad,” he says, pushing against me making sure I feel his want.
“I need you…so bad, Alexia.”
“I shouldn’t have done this, Jax.”
I can’t feel regret for doing this, I want it so much. Faith does though and is screaming in my ear telling me to stop, reminding me about our mates back home, the ones who haven’t rejected me… yet.
“Yes, you should. We should have done this a long long time ago,” he says, giving me small kisses along my jaw line and leaving a soft kiss on my lips.
I turn my head away. “I found my second chance mate,” I blurt out. Jax freezes for a few seconds, then I feel one of his hand come up to my jaw.
He kisses my neck on the right side, tracing kisses up and down the tender skin. “Hmmm… you sure about that?” He continues to give me three more kisses along my neck as one hand gently moves towards my ass. My control can only take so much.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I squeeze my eyes shut trying to reign in my control, but my voice is quivering.
His hand tightens on my jaw and he motions for me to turn my head, I have no option but to. He starts kissing the other side of my neck. “I think you’re lying to me darlin’.”
“I’m not, Jax! We need to stop,” I say, in almost a pant.
“Where is his mark then? There should be a mating mark… around here….somewhere,” he says, between kisses.
And just like that a switch flips, and I’m faced with what’s really happening with Jax.
What this could possibly be, lust… that’s it. I need to believe that all this is, is lust. We both want something we could never have before and right now is a matter of timing. Faith reminds me again about the twins.
I move my head away.
“That’s because they’re probably going to reject me like you did,” I spit out.
He goes ultra-stiff against me. I drop to my feet, not caring about my back scraping on the hard stone through the jacket. I just want to get away from him. I need distance right now.
He continues to stand in my space, so I use both hands to shove him, but he just grabs my wrists and tugs me toward him.
“I hate myself for what I did to you, Alexia. I have to live with that regret every-single day of my life. I loved you. I still do!” Sorrow and despair bleed through each word he speaks. It’s just a pity he wasn’t this sincere when he rejected
me.
“You thought I was weak! You didn’t even give me a chance, Jackson,” I shake my head then I look up to him, “Well I did it! I survived the shift, all on my fucking own!”
He frowns obviously confused. “Your own? You said you found your mate, why didn’t he help you?”
“I have two mates, Jax. Twins. They have girlfriends and I’m pretty sure they’re choosing them over me! It’s only a matter of time.”
I push past him and start walking again, pulling the jacket down making sure my ass can’t be seen. He follows close behind, and I can feel his fury.
“I don’t understand. Why would they reject you?” He says. I scoff shaking my head.
“Jax, don’t be a fucking hypocrite. You were the first to reject me, remember?” I look at him dumbfounded.
“And I’m so sorry for the way I did it. You just caught your boyfriend cheating and you turned to me. I pushed you away, and I’m so very sorry I did. I was afraid you wouldn’t survive the shift if I had to mark you, I couldn’t lose you… not like that.” He grabs my elbow as I look up to his sad face.
God I missed him so much.
“You did more than that, Jax. You rejected me. Do you know how happy I was to find out you were my mate? You don’t realise how much I loved you. You don’t even know half of the shit Drake put me through,” I say.
“Because you didn’t tell me!” He says, raising his voice and causing an echo in the silent woods. He runs his hands over his jaw and I can sense he’s trying to calm himself down, “You kept so much from me! Even after what he did to you, you still stuck with him! You stood by his side and you came back for him. Each and every time you came back, you came back to him.”
I can tell by the way his breathing has changed that he’s angry, his anger only fuels my own though.
“I didn’t have a choice!” I yell back, raising my hands in the air.
“You always had a choice, Alexia… Always! You could have come to me. Hell, you could’ve gone to Ronny and she would have sorted Drake out. We would have kept you safe!” He yells in his loud authoritative tone.
“I had to protect you guys and my family from him. He threatened all of you and after what he did to me, my head was so fucked up… all I knew was that the only way for me to keep everyone safe was to stay with him,” I say, close to tears. I refuse to let them fall in front of him.
“You know he’d never lay a finger on me or Ron. If you’d told us about your family, instead of keeping it from us, we would have made sure he’d never have had a chance to hurt them either.” His words make me livid.
“God! You such an idiot, Jax!” I yell out in frustration. He doesn’t give me chance to continue my angry rant. With a growl and the baring of teeth he pulls me close to him, his left hand resting around my throat loosely. This isn’t about hurting me, it’s about him showing the power he holds as Alpha on his land. It’s a pity I don’t know all the rules in the Werewolf handbook, otherwise I may just submit to him fully. Unfortunately I don’t know shit regarding Werewolf etiquette.
“Don’t you dare speak to me like that, Alexia! You’re the idiot for staying with him while he was hurting you, especially as you had family in another pack that you could’ve so easily run too. I will not tolerate such disrespect from you on my land.”
His eyes pulse from his beautiful emerald green to a dark brown - almost black. He looks at me dead in the eye, but when his eyes move to stare at my lips it breaks the spell. I push against his chest and his eyes immediately dart up to mine, his hold on my neck tightening.
“You seem to forget, Jax. You’re not my Alpha.”
I place one hand onto his wrist and attempt to pull it away from my neck, but he stands his ground.
“Get your hands off of me.”
I watch him work his jaw as he stares down at me.
“Now, Jax,” I deadpan.
When he removes his hands from my neck, I use both my hands to shove him hard. He takes a step back and folds his arms over his chest.
“You don’t know what he did to me or the things he drummed into my head. Don’t you dare stand there and judge me when you didn’t have to go through what I had to, day after day.”
I push past him, and when he reaches for my hand I pull away and head for the territory line I know is pretty close.
“Don’t walk away from me, Alexia,” he says in a flat tone.
I start running, knowing I’m closing in on the perimeter of his land. I hear his fast footsteps behind me.
As soon as I pass the territory line I know it in my soul. I can feel the sense of relief in my wolf within me, as if this land is her safe zone.
“Come back here, Lexi! Now!” Jax bellows, a few feet away from me making sure not to overstep.
“Not gonna happen, sorry. I’m not gonna stand there one more minute and talk when you continuously overlook Drake’s behaviour. I know I shouldn’t have kept shit from you, I get it okay? I kept a lot of shit from a lot of people… don’t think you’re special. At the time, I thought it would be best if I kept it to myself, so much was going on and I didn’t understand most of it myself. I didn’t know who to trust with my secrets, so I didn’t tell anyone, but that does not excuse the way Drake treated me.”
I try to calm my voice just in case my father has men on night patrol who might be close by.
“You knew he wasn’t stable! We all told you to look out for him! How many times did we warn you?” He says irritably.
I let out a frustrated laugh. “Unstable? He’s crazy, Jax! Fucking lost-his-marbles crazy!” I use my index finger and twirl it around next to my right ear expressively, emphasising crazy. “And you have that as your Beta! You’re an even bigger fool than I am, Jax.”
I turn around and he lets out a low growl.
I’m pushing my luck… I know it, but I don’t care. I’m questioning his ability as Alpha with regards to picking leaders of his pack. I know he’s trying his hardest not to run into my territory to put me in my place. Secretly, I’m loving pushing his buttons. The frustration as he tries to restrain himself against the words I throw at him rolls of him in waves. I’m testing the restraint he has and he knows it.
“Get back here, Alexia! Now!” He roars, but I ignore him as I continue my way through the bushes.
“We need to talk! I swear to the Fates, if you leave things this way you will regret it! I’ll come after you!” His voice echoes through the trees, but I continue making my way back to my pack house.
Chapter 11
I’m still naked, so I don’t change out of Jax’s hoodie until I’m inside. I make my way to the laundry room under the staircase as soon as I enter the house, quickly stripping the jacket off before making sure there is enough softener and detergent in the machine to remove his scent. I look around the room searching for something to wear, but I can’t find anything. Everything was taken to the bedrooms this morning, so I open the dryer finding it filled with clean warm towels and wrap one around my body.
Opening the door slowly, I stick my head out to see if anyone’s around; luckily I don’t find anyone. Tiptoeing my way up the stairs, I make sure to keep the towel wrapped around my body tightly. I let out a deep breath when I make it to my bedroom without coming face to face with anybody whilst only covered in a towel. I head straight to the bathroom making sure to lock the door behind me as well as the one on the twins side. First, I brush my teeth thoroughly and scrub my face.
I can’t believe I kissed him. I know I shouldn’t be feeling guilty, it’s not as if the twins are being faithful to me.
A smile forms on my lips and I press the tips of my fingers to them remembering the kiss. I remember all the times we came close to kissing, how bad I’d wanted to kiss him, even though I always felt tremendously guilty every time we’d spend time together.
Loud banging on the door causes me to jump.
“Shit!” I curse, quickly opening the shower door. It’s freezing cold, but I need to get Jax’s scent off
me.
“Angel, open this door,” Tyler yells, banging against the wood.
Sudden pounding on the other door that leads to the twins’ room makes me quicken my movements. I squeeze almost an entire bottle of body wash all over me, scrubbing ferociously. I need to get his scent off me.
“Open this door, right-fucking-now!” Talon roars, making me cringe.
I squeal when they both suddenly barge into the bathroom, pieces of wood flying everywhere, even over the shower door and onto the tiled floor. I grab the towel hanging over the rail, wrapping it around me quickly, and making sure its high enough to hide everything.
“What the hell is wrong with you two? Who are you looking for?” I yell, wringing my hair out and using another towel to dry it as I climb out of the shower. I’m trying my hardest to play it cool, as if I’ve done nothing wrong, even though it feels as if my heart is about to beat right out of my chest. I just hope they can’t hear my wolf yelling at me for my stupidity.
Tyler slams the shower door open and looks inside. I grab his hand and pull him away. “What are you doing? Are you trying to break every door in the house? Stop it!” I glare.
“Where is he?” Talon says, lifting his head smelling the air. I turn around and head for my room shaking my head.
“He’s hiding inside the cabinet under the basin,” I say sarcastically, as I head for my closet.
Big hands on either side of my shoulders spin me around and I’m faced with a very angry Tyler.
“Now is not the time to fuck with me, Angel.”
I wriggle out of his grasp making sure to keep one hand holding the towel tightly.
“No, now…” I emphasise the word. “…is not the time to manhandle me. I’m sick and tired of you putting your hands on me.”
I turn around and fall smack bang into Talon’s hard chest. I look up at him and he has an odd smirk on his face.
“That applies to you to,” I say cautiously, confused by his change in demeanour.
I’m afraid that if they stand too close to me, they may well smell Jax’s scent from where he kissed my neck; I hope I scrubbed thoroughly. I move to the dresser, closer to my perfume just in case. I reach out to take the perfume and notice the boys are ultra-quiet now, I’m pretty sure they know something’s up.
Angel Blackwood Page 13
