Table for five

by Susan Wiggs

  Sean straightened up and introduced Maura to everyone. She had the awkward manner of someone unaccustomed to children, though her smile was genuine. Charlie regarded her warily, Cameron dismissively. Ashley hid in Lily’s skirts. “Did you know my mom and dad?” Cameron asked.

  Maura shifted her bag from one hand to the other. “No, but I know they were both terrific. I wanted to be here for your uncle Sean because I care for him a lot. I hope you’ll tell me all about your parents.”

  “You bet,” said Cameron. “Love to.” He headed for the reception room.

  His sarcasm took Maura off guard, but at the moment, Sean had no chance to make his nephew apologize. He felt stupid for expecting something to happen, some magical poof of chemistry and they’d all be one big happy family.

  “Time to go inside,” he said quietly.

  Jane Coombs was late, which seemed to be a pattern with her. She came rushing in and swooped down on the kids, weeping and needy, the way she’d been all week. Sean bit his tongue, wanting to tell her to chill out, that her crying was upsetting Charlie and Ashley. But who was he to criticize the woman? Maybe she couldn’t help it.

  Three people he didn’t recognize arrived, even later than Jane. “My parents and sister,” Lily explained. “Excuse me for a moment.”

  She went over and greeted them. Her parents were a handsome couple, impeccably dressed and treating Lily with a curious reserve. For God’s sake, give her a hug, he found himself thinking. Can’t you see she needs it?

  Fortunately, the sister seemed to, grabbing Lily and reeling her in, holding on tight until Lily’s hat fell backward off her head.

  “Sean Maguire,” he said, retrieving the hat and then shaking hands with each of them—Terence, Sharon and Violet. “Thank you for coming.”

  “Grandpa, you made it,” Charlie said, her face lighting up as she rushed toward the door.

  “Hello, gorgeous, of course I made it.” Sean’s father, Patrick Maguire, had arrived the night before. He greeted Lily and the others, then shook hands with Sean. “You holding up all right?”

  For a second, Sean had a wicked urge to say no. As in, No, Dad, I’m in big trouble here. How about you give me a hand? He would never say that; he knew better, because he knew the answer he’d get. His father would hem and haw, enumerating all the reasons he couldn’t possibly help with Derek’s kids. “Yes,” Sean assured his father, “all things considered.”

  “Sorry I couldn’t get away sooner,” said Patrick. “I had some things to finish up.”

  Of course he did, thought Sean. “No problem,” he said to his father. What he really wanted to do was to grab him, shake him, demand to know had happened to their family. Like that mattered now. He disengaged his hand and rested it on Charlie’s shoulder. “We need to get started.”

  As everyone assembled to proceed into the sanctuary, Sean paused to have a look at them all. The children appeared scrubbed and apprehensive in their best clothes. At the same time, there was a heartbreaking air of dignity about them. Cameron looked like a junior version of Derek in a new suit and shoes hastily bought for the funeral. Charlie wore a dark green dress with a black ribbon and Ashley had on a miniature version of the same outfit. Lily was in dark blue, with low-heeled shoes, a purse clutched in one hand and a small stack of neatly printed index cards in the other. She wore a hat and no makeup, and looked nervous and earnest, determined to deliver a proper eulogy for her friend.

  The funeral director had them all escorted to their seats in the front pews. The principal of Charlie’s school was right behind them on the end, ready to whisk Ashley away if she got too loud. The honey-oak caskets, draped in flowers, gleamed in the sunlight filtering through a window with a Holy Spirit design. And Sean was floating again in a high arc overhead, unable to keep himself anchored to the earth.

  chapter 21

  The funeral was a brutal spectacle that was part media circus, part solemn ceremony. Lily felt battered and sore on the inside, exhausted to the point of numbness. The service went by in a blur of tears and music and heartfelt eulogies. Everyone present tried to express the inexpressible—grief for a shocking loss and, perhaps worse, the sadness and quiet terror of three children who would grow up without their parents.

  Lily was surprised and moved when her family showed up. They hadn’t known Crystal well, but they knew how important she was to Lily. When it was her turn to speak up, she sent a panicked glance toward her mother, receiving a calm nod of encouragement: You can do this.

  Lily stood and made her way to the podium. Somehow, for the sake of the children, she managed to speak in a clear, steady voice, telling the packed church that Crystal had been the best friend, mother and person anyone could imagine.

  “Best friend and loving mother” had seemed like the proper words when she’d written them late last night. Yet uttered over the PA system to a packed church, they sounded hollow and impersonal. Lily set aside her note cards, shut her eyes briefly and made a picture of Crystal in her mind.

  “I was eight years old when I met my best friend,” she said, then opened her eyes again. “She was thirteen and had no intention of being my best friend or anything but my babysitter. That came later—the friendship. And it’s lasted a lifetime—” Lily paused, taking a breath and trying to keep her voice from wavering. “When I was small, I thought she knew everything. Twenty-two years later, I know it’s finally true. Thanks to her beautiful children, she knows the joys and triumph of living a life filled with love. And that’s all anyone ever needs to know, isn’t it?” Lily was surprised by the words coming out of her. This wasn’t in her notes. Her notes contained a résumé of Crystal’s accomplishments, a loving salute to her character. It was too late to backtrack now, and because of all the other tributes, she’d promised to keep hers short. She paused again and focused on the children. Edna had taken Ashley away when she started fussing. Charlie sat unmoving, staring straight ahead. Next to her, Sean wore a curiously similar expression. Cameron seemed angry, almost defiant as he shifted restlessly in his seat.

  Lily had been gratified to see students and teachers from the high school, but they looked ill at ease, shifting and whispering in the back rows, clearly wishing they could be somewhere else. She hadn’t spotted Greg Duncan and found that disappointing. As Cameron’s golf coach, he should have been there, but that was Greg for you.

  “I can’t find any meaning in the way my friend died,” she said. “Maybe I’m supposed to, perhaps one day I will. For me the meaning is in her life, not in her death. I loved Crystal Baird Holloway. For the rest of my life, I will live to celebrate that friendship.” She cleared her throat, the knot of pain nearly stopping her breath. “Goodbye, Crystal. You live in the hearts of those who loved you.”

  Dr. Sachs, the grief counselor, had told Lily that medication was available if she felt she needed it. As she stepped down from the podium, she found herself wishing she had taken advantage of the offer.

  As she left the podium, Charlie’s requested song was played. Kermit the Frog singing “Rainbow Connection” might have seemed ludicrous under the circumstances, but for some reason, the song’s subtlety, wistfulness and simple message struck the perfect note.

  Lily put on a brave smile for Charlie and Cameron, although inside, she was a broken wreck. Sean Maguire offered his hand to help her into the pew. Hers was ice cold and damp with sweat. How pleasant for him, she thought fleetingly.

  His girlfriend, Maura, seemed distressed by the whole situation. In her smooth black dress and wrap, she also looked beautiful, like a Victoria’s Secret model. Next to her, Lily felt dismally ordinary.

  Under the circumstances, she should not feel anything of the sort, but there it was. Her best friend was dead and Lily was having petty thoughts. She was a terrible person.

  For Derek, there was a graceless but moving tribute from his caddie, who sobbed through the whole thing. Travis Jacobs had been with Derek for fifteen years and knew him in ways no one else would or could. G
iven what Lily knew about him, the eulogy was generous, sometimes funny and utterly sincere. When Travis concluded his reading, the sound of Louis Armstrong singing “What a Wonderful World” drifted from the speakers, and Lily’s heart was seized by melancholy.

  She kept an eye on Jane Coombs, who sat beside her lawyer across the aisle. Judging by her devastated expression, she was in shock and grieving deeply. Jane hadn’t had much to say over the past few days. She behaved as though she didn’t know the children at all and was as lost as they were.

  Lily tried not to think ill of the woman who had stolen her best friend’s husband, but it wasn’t easy. She distinctly remembered Crystal’s shell-shocked expression when she had come over to Lily’s house one night and said, “Derek has someone else. And I’m pregnant.” All in the same breath. Either one would have rocked her world. Together, they changed her life.

  Lily tried not to think about that time. She tried not to think about all the hurt and humiliation Crystal had suffered. As she said in her tribute, Crystal had experienced soaring joys and profound blessings. That was what Lily told herself to dwell on. Not the other things, the failed marriage and the money troubles, or the fact that, right before she died, Crystal’s best friend had told her Charlie was failing third grade.

  Crystal’s pain and confusion that day followed Lily to bed each night and haunted her dreams when she slept. She had no idea how to get rid of it. She glanced around the church and tried to take comfort from those gathered here—friends and associates, people from work and school.

  Somehow they made it through the rest of the service, which included prayers she felt all the way down to her soul and songs that bore a hole in her heart. There was only one reason she managed to stay standing, and that was the fact that Crystal’s children were depending on her.

  This was an issue, she expected, that would be addressed at the reading of the wills.

  Charlie tugged on her hand. “When are we going to the seminary?” she whispered.

  “Cemetery,” Lily whispered back. “In a little while. After ‘Over the Rainbow,’” she added, remembering that she had requested the version sung by the late Hawaiian artist, Iz. She thought it might remind Cameron of the time he and Crystal had taken ukelele lessons together. He hadn’t wanted any input into the service and in general was disconcertingly quiet about the loss of his parents.

  She leaned closer and said into Charlie’s ear, “Why do you ask?”

  “I need to know when to really say goodbye,” Charlie said.

  Lily slipped her arm around the little girl’s shoulders. “Oh, honey,” she said in an aching whisper, “you don’t ever have to say goodbye.”

  chapter 22

  Lily had no idea what to wear to the meeting. What in the world did a person wear to the reading of a will?

  Her choices were limited. Although she had been at Crystal’s place for nearly a week, she hadn’t brought much with her. It occurred to her that her school wardrobe didn’t seem quite right. A sweater embroidered with teddy bears might look fine in the classroom, but not at a serious meeting.

  Her one and only business suit would suffice, she supposed. There would be lawyers present, finance would be discussed. She owed it to Crystal to appear professional.

  She felt a keen sense of mission as she put on a white blouse and tied it in a crisp bow at the throat. Then she pulled on a dark A-line skirt and blazer with brass buttons. Great, she thought, stepping into low-heeled pumps. I look like Sergeant Pepper.

  She pulled her hair in place with a pair of barrettes, then frowned at her image in the mirror. How did women pull this off? she wondered. Was there some trick to looking professional she didn’t know about?

  The superficial questions made her feel guilty, so she quickly applied a single layer of tinted lip gloss and declared herself ready.

  All three kids were in the kitchen at breakfast when she came down. Charlie was glued to the Cartoon Network, as usual, and Ashley was eating applesauce from a plastic bowl. Cameron was bent over a physics textbook, holding his head in his hand while glowering at the page. Sean had gone to see Red Corliss before the meeting.

  “Hi!” Ashley banged her spoon, then held it out to Lily. “Taste.”

  Lily pretended to have a bite. “Mmm, delicious.” She reached over and turned down the volume of the blaring cartoons. Once things settled down, she was going to have to curb all the TV watching. Living in a house full of children was like visiting a third world country, a place filled with color, noise and strange smells. She had been doing her best to bring order to chaos, but things kept getting away from her.

  “I’m off to my meeting,” she announced. “I’ll be gone for a couple of hours, I imagine. Cameron, you’re in charge.”

  “Got it,” he said in a bored voice.

  “Got it,” Ashley echoed. “Out.” She squirmed in her seat.

  “Cameron will take care of you,” Lily said, placing a kiss on the child’s head on her way toward the door.

  As Lily drove to the downtown law offices, she had the strange feeling that this was not her life anymore. She was living someone else’s life, with children and a host of responsibilities so numerous she couldn’t even begin to address each one adequately.

  An offhand promise to a friend—I’ll look after your kids, no problem—had turned into a commitment she was completely unequipped to make. She had taken the entire week off school, but come Monday, she had to go back to her own house, to her job. Life had to go forward for all of them, and that would be one of the topics of today’s meeting.

  The law offices of Logan, Schwab and Fuller were plush and quiet. She was ushered into a conference room where everyone was assembled—Sean Maguire and Red Corliss, Sean’s father, Patrick, and Derek’s girlfriend, Jane Coombs, and her own lawyer. Frances Jamison, Crystal’s divorce attorney, was present as well, Lily saw with a small eddy of relief. Everyone else was here for Derek.

  Not quite, she observed as Susie Shea entered the room. The social worker was there as the children’s advocate.

  Peter Logan, looking like an elder statesman in his couture suit, opened the meeting by welcoming everyone and consulting a voluminous folder of papers.

  “Thank you for being here, ladies and gentlemen,” he said. “I’d like to express my heartfelt condolences to the family and friends of Derek and Crystal Holloway. I know their loss is deeply felt.”

  Lily sneaked a glance at Sean. It had been the strangest of weeks, living with this man. He obviously cared about the children, but when it came to parenting them, he was as lost as Lily. He looked haggard but paid close attention as Logan read down a list of declarations. Next to Sean, his father, Patrick, appeared well rested and full of vitality. He was an immensely handsome man, tall and lean, with abundant salt-and-pepper hair. As Derek’s stepfather, he was the only grandparent the children had, utterly charming, with smooth manners and a winning smile. It was funny, though. When Lily looked into his eyes, she didn’t see much.

  People perked up as Logan reached the meat of the reading—the disposition of Derek’s estate. There were bequests to Red Corliss, Travis Jacobs, Patrick Maguire and several other associates of Derek. He left his brother all of his clubs. Sean looked neither pleased nor disappointed. Lily couldn’t read his expression.

  “The remainder of my estate, such state consisting of—” Logan passed copies of a list around “—shall be equally divided among my beloved children, Cameron Craig Holloway, Charlene Louise Holloway and Ashley Baird Holloway. If they are of minor age at the time of my death, the inheritance is to be held in trust by Crystal Baird Holloway, or in the event that she is not available, my brother, Sean Michael Maguire, until such time as they gain their majority.”

  The final disposition fell into a silence so profound that Lily could hear the man next to her—Jane’s lawyer—breathing. So Jane had been stiffed, thought Lily. Well, well, well.

  The reading went on, answering the question of who the children�
��s designated guardian would be. First named was his ex-wife, Crystal Baird Holloway, of course. Next in line was Sean Michael Maguire. A judge of the probate court would issue an order after the noticed hearing had taken place.

  More silence hung over the conference room while people digested this. Derek had not designated Jane, who claimed she had every intention of marrying him. He hadn’t chosen Patrick, either; Patrick didn’t even bother hiding his relief. No, Derek had picked Sean Maguire, his half brother, a man who had barely been a presence in the children’s lives.

  The social worker quickly jotted down the information as Mr. Logan prepared to turn the reading over to Frances Jamison, Crystal’s lawyer.

  Jane pushed back from the table. “I’ve heard enough,” she said quietly, then left with her lawyer.

  “Not a happy camper,” Frances murmured under her breath.

  Lily tried to focus on the pages Frances held before her. The document was dated five years ago, when Crystal and Derek had drawn them up together. There were bequests to Dorothy and to Lily, who had expected nothing: “To my best friend, Lily Elaine Robinson, I leave the sum of $10,000 along with my wardrobe. Lily, you were never much for fashion, but maybe you’ve changed.”

  Lily was struck by her friend’s sentiment and by the echo of Crystal’s own authentic voice. She groped for a Kleenex in her purse, but found she’d used them all up. Without a word, Sean turned to the credenza behind him and grabbed a box, pushing it across the table to her.

  Crystal’s disposition to her children was identical to Derek’s except that, in the event that the children were minors, the estate was to be administered by Crystal’s mother, Dorothy Mansfield Baird. Dorothy was also named guardian of the children.

  Frances tapped the stack of papers on the hard leather surface of the table. “Ladies and gentlemen, this part is problematic, which is why I’ve asked Miss Robinson to attend today. Dorothy Baird has succumbed to a massive stroke. At present, she is bedridden and shows no recognition of friends and family. Her prognosis is poor, so she won’t be able to undertake any of the responsibilities noted herein. As a matter of fact, I had a meeting scheduled with Crystal to address just this issue. She wanted to change her will, designating Miss Robinson the children’s guardian in the event that her ex-husband could not undertake that duty.”