Devoted Deceptions, A 4th Millennium Adventure, Book 3

by Cherie Singer

  Uncertainty rolled through her, laid the foundation for further doubts, additional skepticism. Her objective of helping Wulfe generated risks to everyone else. Could she honestly justify the dangers? Yes, because, Wulfe ultimately continued to be the best protector of those others.

  Add in the fact that she loved Wulfe more than she'd ever believed it possible to love someone....

  "Catherine?" Albright touched Cat's arm and gave her a questioning look. "You want to rethink your intention to keep Wulfe in charge?"

  Of course she bloody well wanted to reevaluate her plans. What sane person wouldn't? "We don't have the time to deviate now even if I wanted to. I must do this."

  "Ready, then?"

  Cat nodded and stepped inside, her mind yelling, no, no, I'm not ready. In her wildest dreams, she could never have imagined a time when Wulfe wouldn't know her. She willed herself to be strong enough to face the challenge of what awaited her, determined no one would realize how dry her mouth felt, how her stomach jumped.

  Wulfe's body filled the too-small chair next to the bed. He swung his head in their direction. "Who's there? Erich, is that you? Answer me, blast it!"

  His deep voice held frustration, worry, and an abundance of Bellon anger. Cat decided to take all three as positive signs.

  "Tell me who's there!"

  "Your favorite doctor," Albright answered, "and Catherine."

  "Why haven't you allowed Erich in to see me?" Wulfe took a breath. His nostrils flared. He stopped his demands and turned in Cat's direction.

  Cat forced herself to go forward and sit on the edge of the bed, close enough to get a good look at him. He seemed calmer all of a sudden, at least to a casual observer, but the muscles in his jaw bunched and flexed, betrayed his inner turmoil.

  Lines of tension had formed around Wulfe's sexy brown eyes, now devoid of expression or fire. Gods, she wanted--needed--to touch him, hold him, and be held by him. The last things she could do or be at this moment. "I assume you mean Erich Wheeler?"

  "Yes. He is my first officer." Wulfe took another breath and angled his head as though concentrating, then turned back toward her. The muscles in his jaw relaxed. "I remember you."

  "You do?" Cat's heart thumped madly at the three simple words.

  "Oh, yes." He inhaled again, a ghost of a smile lifted one corner of his moustache. "You were here right after I woke up."

  "Correct, Captain." For one heart-rending moment, she'd taken his words at face value. Sharp disappointment cut through her now and efficiently destroyed those few seconds of absolute joy. "In answer to your question, Mister Wheeler is no longer your executive officer. He has been transferred to the Orion."

  "Impossible. First, I would know about such a change. Second, Space Corps Command wouldn't put him on a smaller ship without a solid reason."

  "The Orion needed a captain. Mister Wheeler has been promoted. Solid enough for you?" She worked to keep her voice level. Flemming had fought Wheeler's promotion, but she'd managed to convince the admiral they owed Wheeler that much. Cat hoped she would have no reason to regret her efforts.

  "When? I don't remember--"

  "I'm your first officer now. Commander Catherine Culver."

  "Command wouldn't make a total stranger my first. A captain has prerogative in such matters."

  "Aye, a captain does, and you did. I've been aboard the Falchion for several months now, as your second officer and your head of sciences."

  "My second officer is Jinny Riordan."

  "And she is again." Unable to shake the feeling she betrayed Wulfe, Cat stared at the deck. She hated the half-truths so much she couldn't look at him. She knew the deceptions needed to be uttered for the good of all. "Command assigned me to your ship with warcruiser status as the ultimate goal."

  "And the goal of replacing Wheeler?"

  "I suppose it must seem that way now. The Orion's sudden need for a captain came as a surprise to Corps Command, and Wheeler was the closest available qualified officer." Cat managed to get the last two words out without them choking her.

  "Once the Falchion sustained such extensive damage in the Mallochon attack, Command decided to upgrade her status to warcruiser as quickly as possible instead of waiting. Since Mister Wheeler has no practical experience with fighters and flight crews, I'm the logical choice to take the slot as the exec on a warcruiser."

  "You have the required proficiency?"

  "Aye, Captain, I do. My training is extensive."

  "Blast Corps Command and their ineptness straight to the Underworld!" His fist slammed into the opposing palm.

  "You object to my posting?" She hadn't counted on that. What would she do if he adamantly opposed her?

  "Nothing personal, Commander, but I thought the first squadron of pilots is composed entirely of Bellons."

  "So it is. What's the problem, Sir?"

  A small sound of impatience escaped from him. "Be realistic, Commander. A division of Bellon pilots would be too much for an Earther male. A female like you hasn't a chance."

  "Like me, Sir?" Maybe lack of sleep, too little food and the situation itself made her edgy, but Wulfe's overt Bellon attitude pushed a lot of buttons for her. Shades of years past. "In what way do you mean that?"

  "Small. Not accustomed to commanding Bellons. Earther."

  "Ah." Cat endured all the old hurts and resentments in silence as they welled up inside, reopened bygone wounds. She reminded herself that Wulfe didn't know any better. Again.

  He'd forgotten the revelations that had once turned his universe upside down--the Bellon heart beating within her chest, for one--when he'd accepted her for whom, not what, she was. He couldn't recall any of the sacrifices each had made to be with the other, risking their lives for each other and the good of the League.

  He didn't even remember he'd claimed to love her more than he cared for honor or pride--something nearly unthinkable to a Bellon. Would he ever feel that way again, the way she still did? Someday, when peace returned to the galaxies, she'd do her best to remind him of the claim, what they meant to each other.

  Wulfe had fought his attraction to her so many years ago, using the prejudices against offworlders and mixed blood as a barrier between them. Until he'd admitted what he'd known all along--a person's heart and soul and actions mattered more than any outward appearance or racial bloodlines.

  For one doubt-filled moment, Cat wondered if she had the strength to go through the tempest again. A heartbeat later she decided she could march unarmed through the Underworld against Garesh to reach the glorious rewards of their union.

  "I want immediate access to the Falchion's computer."

  "Not possible at the moment, Captain," Cat answered without hesitation. She'd expected the demand and had prepared a believable response based, in part, on truth. "Our main computer system is down--an unusually strong electromagnetic power surge nearly wiped the core--and all auxiliary memory is being utilized for diagnostics, life support and repairs. Life support hasn't even been restored to a few sections yet. Every crew member capable of using a sonic wrench or gel biopatch is on the job."

  "We were hit that badly?" Wulfe's jaw tightened again.

  "Aye. The Falchion took heavy damage to the shuttle bay and adjoining decks and sectors. She received moderate structural damage up another four decks, with lesser disruption of services for an additional three levels. We've repaired and verified integrity of the primary and secondary hulls."

  "The shuttle bay. Moira said that's where I was."

  "Aye. You were, though none of us knew it at first."

  Lines barely noticeable only days ago now etched themselves more deeply into Wulfe's fiercely handsome face. Cat's heart grieved for him, and all the others affected by the Mallochon's attack. The need to avenge their latest murders and acts of violence went from simmer to full boil in her. Once the children were safe, nothing and no one would deter her from her chosen mission: stop the Mallochons from dominating the entire sector.

  "How man
y people did we lose, Commander?"

  "Twenty-one total, most of whom were on the shuttles. At final count, over a hundred crew members suffered varying degrees of injuries, although most are fit for duty at this time."

  Wulfe's right fist clenched so tightly the tendons on the back of his hand stood out. "Memorial services?"

  "Taken care of, Sir, along with the condolence messages." She'd completed both tasks herself after Wheeler saw fit to walk away from her and ignore the need to tend his own duties. Or perhaps he simply hadn't been able to face the somber responsibility. Whatever the reason, she couldn't leave the onerous job to Wulfe, not after what he'd already been through.

  "Rotten way to begin your tour as my first officer."

  A minuscule sense of relief washed over her. This might work yet. She refocused on Wulfe's comments.

  "We'll need to cut the present size of the crew to make room for the new flight teams coming in, and we certainly won't need our normal complement of science personnel."

  "Already done, Captain. The final roster will be ready as soon as I receive identity confirmation of the squadron members assigned to us." Half-truths and partial lies--every one of them left a sour taste in her mouth. Doubly so, considering to whom she must lie. The need to touch him, to confess her deceptions--gods, where would she find the strength to get through this?

  "You seem to have the administrative situation under control, Commander, I'll give you that much."

  "I believe you will discover my abilities in the hands-on areas acceptable, too, if given the chance. I can meet with you again when you're ready to board the Falchion, if you wish."

  One word, her heart pleaded, one word and I'll stay here by your side. He remained silent.

  Cat sent Albright a meaningful glance. "I will need to see your medical logs to finalize one of my reports, Doctor. Do you have a few minutes?"

  "By all means, Commander."

  Relieved her plan seemed to be working, Cat's shoulder muscles relaxed a bit once she and Albright left the station's medical section behind, though the tight, burning sensation remained. Still, a part of her resented the success, made her almost wish Wulfe had caught her in the untruths. But he didn't know her well enough now. Her heart gave a painful squeeze. He seemed so...distant.

  Duty would distract her from the pain, and so much needed to be done. Time to harness the efforts of others. People like Seleen from communication and tactical. Transport Chief Frank Ellery. She said as much to Nora, who agreed wholeheartedly.

  "Commander Culver?"

  Cat groaned inwardly at the sound of Wheeler's keyed-up voice, and her stomach tightened into yet another knot. She thought she'd seen the last of him. Albright snapped to attention beside her. Cat stopped short, too, when she noticed the new captain's insignia on his comm tag. "Captain Wheeler. I thought the Orion was scheduled for departure."

  "She will be, Commander Culver, as soon as we've completed some crew transfers. Lot of that happening." Sarcasm tinged the statement.

  "Yes, there is. We must all adapt."

  "I also need to see Fallon and reassure her before we go. I wanted to say goodbye to the doctor and to thank you, Commander."

  "Thank me?" Cat had fully expected Wheeler to be furious.

  "Of course." Wheeler bestowed a high-powered smile on her. "Rumor tells me Corps Command intended to give me only a lateral transfer. Rumor also says you're the one who insisted I receive a promotion. Even with war looming on the horizon, captain bars aren't handed out blindly. I'm grateful, though Command gave me a ship less impressive than the Falchion."

  "Space Corps doesn't have another like the Falchion available. I tried to do the right thing for everyone, Erich."

  "However you view your input, I wanted you to be aware I knew about your part in the strategy."

  Oh, to be able to feel Wheeler's emotions instead of trying to guess them. The words might be right, but a certain manic quality lurked in the back of his hazel eyes, the twist of his lips lent a sinister flavor.

  "Any chance I can see Captain Kincade before I leave?"

  "No," Cat answered before Albright could. "He's not up to visitors just yet." She tensed for an argument with him. "I'll be certain to give him your regards, though."

  "I'd appreciate that. Doctor Albright, it's been a great pleasure and honor serving on the same ship with you."

  "As it has been for me," Albright responded. "Good luck, Captain Wheeler."

  Cat listened as Wheeler effused over Albright, dumbfounded and feeling oddly deflated. She'd expected something less civilized from Wheeler and had girded herself for a nova-sized argument. Creator, without her empathic ability, her instincts were proving to be bloody useless! She had to think of some way to compensate.

  The women watched Wheeler wend his jaunty way through the chaotic influx of personnel clogging the corridor.

  "Erich's trying very hard not to swagger over his new rank. It did happen fast." Albright glanced at Cat. "I'm glad he doesn't harbor any animosity about the transfer."

  "I hope that's true, for everyone's sake." Had she imagined Wheeler's bitterness, or had Nora simply not seen it? "We'll see. If Wheeler even has a hint of what we're trying to do--"

  "How could he? Until the transfer orders are completed, only a handful of us know, plus any others you plan to include when you get back to the ship. Even if Erich knew, why would he want to hurt the captain's chances of keeping the Falchion?"

  "Good question." Cat lost sight of Wheeler's back. Unfortunately, the twinge of apprehension didn't disappear with him. He was up to something. She could feel it in the pit of her stomach. "Nora, have you noticed anything odd about Wheeler?"

  "Recently or historically?"

  "Either. Both. Seems to me his personality and emotions have been all over the star chart the last few months."

  "None of our lives have been exactly uneventful lately."

  "True. How soon will Wulfe be able to go back to the ship?"

  "The autohealer and the surgihealer have long since repaired the physical damages, so, as soon as Moira finishes the sensors. Sometime in the next hour. Depends how cooperative he is."

  "Then I'd better get back there myself to double-check the preparations. Lyon's been working like a madman."

  Cat made a mental note to have Lyon store away an assortment of the Falchion's wreckage in one of the cargo bays. The mess might come in handy for something. She paused, gave the thought consideration. A germ of an idea struggled to take root in the back of her mind, but she didn't have the time to allow the concept to bloom yet. Maybe her subconscious could make something of it.

  "How are the computer logs coming?"

  Cat shrugged. "I've dumped the new routines into the core and secondary systems. Everything within the outlined parameters will be isolated and either confined or overwritten. Gods, I hope I didn't miss something."

  She used the short flight back to the ship to marshal her strength for what had to come next. The trip didn't take nearly long enough.

  Cat took one last look around the sleeping chamber she'd shared with Wulfe. The Creator had blessed them with seven glorious months together in this haven here on the Falchion. She could still feel the deep green- and cream-colored bedding against her skin. She spared a few precious seconds to acknowledge the boon and allow time for the ache in the back of her throat to dissipate a bit.

  Fallon, bless the Creator, had overseen the removal of all the family's belongings from the quarters, leaving only Wulfe's personal items behind. Cat doubted if she could have completed the task herself without losing control.

  Next, housekeeping went through the entire suite of rooms. They'd done their job so thoroughly not even a familiar scent lingered in the air. Those seven wonderful months gone, wiped from existence. Her heart writhed with the pain of loss, as though an angry god's fist sought to wring out every drop of the hope and joy created by their time reunited.

  Sadness overwhelmed Cat, cast her into shadowy despair.
Even the strength to keep her shoulders squared deserted her. Defeat had never loomed so close. Vacating a ship's living quarters shouldn't be so bloody difficult. She bit her bottom lip to stop its trembling. The unfounded presentiment that she'd eternally forfeit a priceless part of her life haunted her thoughts.

  She'd felt much the same way when she'd begun the oppressive job of overwriting all the computer files about herself. With a touch of a pad or single voiced word, she deleted herself from Wulfe's life. Erased the continued existence of her beloved parents. Destroyed evidence of her life, of her true self, leaving only shadows and quick glimpses, and even those hid behind prevarication and deceit. Her stomach wrenched with sickness.

  Sister Fate really believed in twisting people's lives around, didn't she? The curra.

  "Cat?"

  She felt Morgan's arms go around her thigh and squeeze. Cat hugged Morgan's shoulders, then placed her hand on the top of the girl's head where it rested near her waist. She stroked the soft sable-colored hair so like Wulfe's. "What are you doing here?"

  "I'm thinking about Father."

  "I'd be surprised if you weren't. Doctor Nora is taking good care of him. So is Doctor Moira. You know that."

  "I know." The girl took a shaky breath. "But why can't I see him before Fallon and Garrett and I leave? He'd want to see us."

  "Morgan, dear heart, we've been through the reasons. He needs to rest. Seeing you or Garrett could...tire your father more than he should be right now. He'll be better soon."

  "Promise?" Morgan looked up at her with the warm dark-brown eyes she'd inherited from her father. "He's not going to die, is he? I'm scared. Mother died, and you almost did, too."

  Cat's heart lurched. This poor little girl had been through so much. Too much. First, losing her natural mother, then being shipped off to live with Wulfe, a father she'd never met. Now this. All because of the Mallochons. Again.

  She went down on her knees next to Morgan, gathered the girl into her arms, rocked her close. "Morgan, I promise you, your father will not die because of what's happened to him. I simply won't allow that to happen."