by Mona Shroff
These were the lies she told herself to get herself out of bed and back into her life.
“You don’t have to work at the bar.” Her father was having his chai. Even the familiar aroma of the cardamom and cinnamon failed to comfort her shattered heart. Her parents had taken over Naya’s room, and Naya had gone home to visit her parents. Her mother had insisted upon spending the night at the hospital, and her father was on his way to relieve her. Though Nilay was out of danger, they needed to be with him. This was what they did.
“Yes, I do, Papa.” She needed the money but left that fact unsaid, hanging between them.
“It’s dangerous.”
“I’m fine, Papa.” She forced the irritation out of her voice. Her parents had enough to deal with right now.
“What happened with Daniel?”
She opened kitchen drawers, looking for nothing, as she avoided his question. She swallowed the lump in her throat that formed at the mention of Daniel’s name, but there was no way to mask the sorrow in her face.
“Annika—”
“Papa!” She looked at him, calling on her anger. “What difference does it make? You never liked him. You got what you wanted.”
“I didn’t want you to be unhappy.”
“I’ll be fine.” She had no choice. He wasn’t ready to move on. Not yet. Maybe someday he would be, and some other woman would benefit from that. The thought of Daniel with another woman burned like acid in her heart and had her blinking back tears—again.
“I know why he didn’t come into the school building on Career Day.”
Annika froze. “You do?”
“I heard him in the waiting room that day.”
“Then you know—” Her breath caught.
“Yes, I know.” Her father’s face took on a distant, pained look, one that Annika had seen more than once. His eyes went soft. “You know what he has to do.”
She sagged. “Papa. He won’t. I’ve tried—”
“He has to be ready.” Her father inhaled deeply and stood to face her. “You know, when I came to the school that day with Sajan, I saw how beautifully you handled those disappointed children.” He paused and put a hand on her shoulder. Her father was not afraid to admit when he was wrong; it was one of the things she most respected about him. He lifted his chin and looked her in the eye, chagrin coloring his smile. “It was then that I realized I have let you down. You are my daughter, and you are following your heart—as you should. I was impressed. With skills like that, you should not have to work in a bar to make ends meet. It’s a sad state of affairs for teachers, I am sorry to say. But I am proud of you.”
Tears filled her eyes. She didn’t realize how much she had wanted to hear those words and see the pride in her father’s face. It didn’t matter how old you got: you always wanted your parents to be proud of you. She hugged him, relaxing into her father’s arms as if she were still a little girl. “Thanks, Papa.”
He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. “In the meantime, you should get to work. Come, I’ll drive you.”
* * *
AFTER SCHOOL BUT before her shift at Phil’s, Annika went to see her brother at the hospital. Naya was sitting beside a drugged and sleeping Nilay. She and Naya had not spoken much since that dinner. It had been only ten days, but it seemed longer. Annika had reached out to her cousin, knowing that Naya would be hurting from her breakup with Ravi, but Naya had remained distant until Nilay’s accident. Annika couldn’t imagine her life without Naya and knew the feeling was mutual.
Annika walked in. “Hey.”
Naya turned and smiled at her, but the smile did not reach her eyes. She had dark circles and her cheeks seemed sunken. Naya got up and hugged her. “Can you ever forgive me for being such a terrible best friend and sister?”
Annika hugged her tight and felt tears prickle at her nose. “It’s forgotten—and anyway, you were a little bit right.” She pulled back and tried to stem her tears. “He broke up with me, right in the waiting room. What is it with me and hospitals?” She tried to joke.
“What? That little fucker.” Naya shook her head.
“Jeez, Naya. I did love him.” Still do...
“Sorry, reflex. What happened? I was just starting to like him.”
Annika raised an eyebrow at her cousin.
“Well,” Naya continued, “I was trying to like him, anyway.”
Annika shrugged. “There’s not much to say. He has to deal with losing Sara. Right now, he deals by shutting down.” She thought about Daniel’s family. “And shutting everyone out.” Including her. She swallowed hard. “That’s what makes it so difficult. I have no doubt that he loves me. I actually think he feels like he’s doing right by me. What is wrong with men?”
“By deciding for you that having children was more important than him?”
Annika sighed. She should probably be angrier about that, but she really couldn’t muster the energy to be angry at someone who was hurting so much. Especially someone she loved with such ferocity.
“Give it a rest, Naya. Either way, he has to come to terms with his loss before he can—” Be with someone again. And she knew it wouldn’t be her. When—if—he healed, he’d be a different person with different needs. Who knew if he’d still love her? She certainly couldn’t wait around to just be disappointed. Boy, she really could pick them, couldn’t she?
“You’re too good for him.” Naya grinned.
Annika rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She chuckled as she squeezed her cousin’s hand. “How are you?”
Naya shrugged, but Annika caught the tears in her sunken eyes.
“Hey.” Annika turned Naya’s face toward her own. “Is it possible you’re being stubborn and not seeing the big picture?”
“What’s that?”
“That you and Ravi love each other and should be able to live your own lives.”
“That’s not—”
“Yes, it is. I’m not saying defy all authority. I’m saying you’re both grown adults. If he’s willing to be with you with all his heart, his parents will come around. And if they don’t—well, you can’t live your life trying to make everyone else happy.”
“Have you been talking to Ravi?”
“No, she has not.” A deep but familiar rumble came from behind Annika, and Naya went even paler.
Annika turned to find a disheveled and weary Ravi standing in the door. He nodded at Annika, but addressed his words to Naya. “I knew you’d come to see Nilay. Annika is right. Talk to me, Naya. Come on.”
“How did you even...know about Nilay?” Naya turned accusatory eyes on her cousin.
Annika held up her hands in surrender. “Not me.”
“Daniel,” Ravi confessed, flicking his gaze to Annika. “He called me.”
That sharp pang that Annika was getting familiar with stabbed at her heart.
Naya, for her part, was frozen in her seat, her eyes filled with longing for the man in front of her.
Annika stood. “I’ll just go...get some coffee...or something.”
“No.” Naya stood. “We’ll go.” She squeezed Annika’s hand. “You visit with Nilay.” Naya walked over to Ravi and took his hand. “Let’s talk.”
Annika settled into her chair next to Nilay’s bed, prepared to watch him sleep as she had the past few days.
“Is she gone?” Nilay croaked from the bed.
Annika sat up. “Yes. Are you all right?”
Nilay raised a hand. “Fine. Can you press the button so I can sit up?”
Annika did as her brother asked. He actually looked better. There was some color in his face, and he was smiling. “Hey! You look good!”
“Duh.” He grinned. “I’m ready to kick some ass.”
Annika shook her head. “Isn’t that what put you here to begin with?”
“Listen
, nobody messes with my sister.”
“Yeah, okay, big guy.” Annika smiled at him and shook her head.
Nilay’s eyes got serious. “I mean it. If I ever find that guy—or even the dad at the school that insulted you—”
“What dad at the school?” Daniel’s voice thundered from behind Annika, startling her. She jumped up and turned around to find him standing in the doorway, his unkempt jaw clenched and green eyes fierce. She leaned on the chair for support.
“Daniel, what are you doing here?” She had no idea how she sounded; she only hoped she didn’t sound as heartbroken as she felt.
Daniel’s mouth was set in a line, and he was clearly trying to avoid looking at her. “I came to see the kid.” He lost his fight and looked at her, his voice and face immediately softening. “I walked by and saw you sitting here. I was leaving when I heard what he said.” He pressed his lips together. “What guy at the school?”
“The dad who told her he didn’t think ‘her kind’ should be teaching there,” Nilay spoke up. “You know, the one with the kid who doesn’t talk.”
Now her brother decided to feel better and get all chatty.
“Mitch? Mitch’s father said that to you?” Daniel’s eyes widened. “That’s why he never came to your meetings?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Annika turned her head to glare at her brother.
“It does matter!” Both men spoke in unison.
“I know it matters, but neither one of you is punching him.” She pointed a finger at each of them.
“You really look like a mean teacher right now, pointing your finger like that,” Nilay quipped.
She bit the inside of her lip to keep from smiling at him. “Good. Because I mean it.”
Daniel was not amused. “You have to teach that guy a lesson, call the cops or whatever.”
She turned back to Daniel. “I’ll teach him a lesson my way.”
“And what way is that?”
“By being me.” She raised her chin at Daniel, her heart banging in her chest, as if it were trying to get out and go to him, where it belonged.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means—” she grabbed her purse and jacket “—that I’ll handle it. It also means it’s not your problem. Not anymore.” She did her best to glare at him but was struck with a pang of sadness when his shoulders drooped and she knew she’d hurt him. “Bye, Nilay.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “I need to get to work.”
She brushed past Daniel, the very air that passed between them charged with the intensity of their not touching. It took every last piece of willpower she had to not give in to the desire to reach out to him. Why did he smell so good?
He stood stoic in the door as she passed, his gaze never leaving Nilay.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
DANIEL
DANIEL SECURED THE sling on his last patient of the day, a fifteen-year-old budding daredevil who had an affinity for not quite succeeding in his tricks on his skateboard.
“You remember the instructions from last time?” Daniel grinned and raised an eyebrow.
The teen gave a small eye roll and an embarrassed grin. “Yes, sir.”
Daniel looked at the boy’s father. “Ortho will put on the cast tomorrow.”
The boy’s father shook his head behind him and gave a snort of laughter. “We’ll be putting Dr. Cross’s kids through college yet.”
Daniel laughed with the father and shook both of their hands before heading out to the nurses’ station to finish up for the day. His heart fell into his stomach at the sight of Anil Mehta seated in the waiting room. What the hell was Annika’s father doing in the ER waiting room?
Daniel passed the nurses’ station, glancing at the board, panic rising in his chest as he approached Mr. Mehta at nearly a run. “Uncle, is everything okay? Why are you in the ER?”
Mr. Mehta looked up from his phone and stood. “Hmm? Yes, yes.” He held his hand up and gave a small smile. “Everyone is fine. No one is hurt. Sorry to have alarmed you, but I came to see you.”
Daniel’s heart still hammered in his chest, and he inhaled deeply to slow it, but even in his relief he couldn’t imagine why Mr. Mehta had come to see him. “Okay. I just finished my shift. I’ll be right back.”
Daniel clocked out, sifting through the possibilities of what the older man could want with him. He grabbed his jacket and backpack and took a breath before walking toward the waiting area.
Mr. Mehta was waiting by the doors. As Daniel approached, Mr. Mehta nodded. “Coffee?”
“Sure.” Daniel opened the door to a slight evening chill, then led the way down the block to the closest coffee shop. His heart rate had returned to normal, but now his stomach was in knots. Was Annika okay? Was he about to be berated or thanked for leaving her?
Mr. Mehta addressed the barista. “Tall coffee, room for cream.” He turned to Daniel. “How about you?”
“Same.” He pulled out his wallet.
Mr. Mehta smiled at Daniel’s choice of beverage and addressed the barista again. “If you don’t mind, we’d like our coffee in mugs as opposed to the to-go cups.” The barista nodded, and Mr. Mehta waved away Daniel’s offer to pay. “Don’t be ridiculous. Put that away.”
For some reason, this made Daniel defensive. “It’s coffee. I can afford—”
Mr. Mehta stepped closer to the counter and swiped his card. “You misunderstand. This has nothing to do with whether you can afford to pay for coffee.” He finished his transaction. “On the contrary, this has everything to do with what I owe you.”
Daniel was speechless.
They fixed up their coffees and found a place to sit.
“I’m relieved you did not order the ‘chai’ tea.” Mr. Mehta gave a small smile.
Daniel scowled. “‘Tea tea?’ Seriously. And it’s not real chai anyway, is it?”
Mr. Mehta chuckled. “No. That it is not.”
Daniel sat straight in his chair, both hands on his mug. “Is everything okay with Nilay?” he asked as Mr. Mehta took his first sip. “How’s his recovery?”
A few people entered the shop, and the slurps and burps of the coffee machine mixed with the low volume of chatter.
“It may be some time before he can come home, but Nilay is progressing nicely. I suspect you already knew that.”
Daniel nodded. He’d been visiting every day, just trying to keep clear of Annika when he did. It didn’t stop Nilay from lecturing him about breaking his sister’s heart. Daniel tried to ignore Nilay’s words. Better he broke Annika’s heart now than later on down the line.
“Well, Daniel.” Mr. Mehta took another sip and gently set his mug down.
Daniel took a sip, allowing the hot liquid to warm him while he waited for the older man to continue. For mid-March, it was still cold, even though the sun was high.
Mr. Mehta raised his chin and looked Daniel in the eye. “I wanted to see you for a couple of reasons. Not the least of which is that I owe you deep gratitude for what you did for Nilay. Sajan insists it was your quick thinking that saved his life.”
Daniel forced a smile. “Part of my job, sir. Nilay is a wonderful kid, and I’m just thankful that he’s doing well.”
“You weren’t working that day, and you were injured, as well.” He glanced at the healing gash on Daniel’s forearm. “But you put my son’s care before yours, and for that I am eternally grateful.” Mr. Mehta smiled, but it was something melancholy and weak. “Not only that, but you are modest, too. I should have known.” He paused.
Daniel waited, as it seemed Mr. Mehta had more to say.
“I’m also here to apologize for underestimating you—actually, I should apologize for my rudeness the few times we have met. I’m afraid I prejudged you based on your chosen profession and my own biases. It’s no excuse, especially when my so
n and daughter think so highly of you. You have no reason to accept my apology, but I offer it, nonetheless.” He stopped and sipped his coffee.
A few beats of silence passed as Daniel digested what he had said. What Annika’s father had said. All he could manage at first was a nod. “Thank you, Uncle.” Still in shock, his voice was not much more than a croak. “That means a lot to me.” He looked the older man in the eye. “It’s not easy, being a father. Seems natural to want only the best for your children.”
“True, but we have to separate what’s best for them from what we want for them.” Mr. Mehta shrugged with a small smile. “Sometimes—many times, in my case—that is not the same thing.”
Daniel smiled his acknowledgment and went back to drinking his coffee. Mr. Mehta sat in silence for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to say something.
“Is there something else, Uncle?”
Mr. Mehta inhaled deeply and looked Daniel in the eye. “Yes, in fact, there is. I have one more thing.”
Daniel finished his coffee and fiddled with his mug. It was taking all his self-control to not ask about Annika. It had been less than two weeks since he’d left her standing there in that waiting room, but only two days since he’d last seen her in Nilay’s room. She had brushed past him that day, leaving behind a tangible vacuum.
Turns out he was as much of a jerk as Steven. Left her when she needed him most. While he wouldn’t be forgiving himself for that anytime soon, he knew with all his heart that it had to be done.
Seeing her in Nilay’s room a few days ago had only served to remind him of how much he loved her. Even now, his cells were dancing a small jig because he was talking to her father. Because of the potential that he might get some information about her.
Daniel wanted nothing more than to be the man she deserved, the man who could make her happy, but he wasn’t, and he never would be. She was better off without him, and the sooner she accepted that, the sooner she could go on with her life and be truly happy.
