Divinely Living (Surviving Series)

by Courtney Cross

“Every time I look at you I remember her.” Silky blonde hair and the coldest blue eyes impaired my memories as I closed my eyes. “You have no idea what true love really is Jonah. Neither of us does.”

  “The fuck I don’t,” he growled in my ear. The intensity in his tone made my body shudder in response. “I think you need a reminder right now.”

  His grip left my elbow, his arm tightening around my waist instead. My feet moved involuntarily as he began leading me through the intimate setting and closely knit tables of the hotel dining room. My heels attempted to dig in, halt him in his tracks but his sheer size and will drove me forward.

  “Where the hell are we going?” I asked, panic hitting me. A pissed off Jonah was a formidable, yet sexy as hell, force. Fighting the two was a mountainous task.

  “I’m going to reacquaint you with what my love actually feels like Ava. I’m going to fuck all memories of Darcy, my Uncle and the last few weeks away. I’m going to fuck you for so long, fill you so full of my love you won’t be able to breathe without begging for more.”

  “No Jonah,” I pleaded quietly. “Not here, not now.”

  “Right fucking here, right now,” he replied, his tone dripping in dominance. “You are mine sweetheart, you belong to me. It’s time to remind you of that fact.”

  My sex clenched in delighted anticipation dripping my panties in wetness immediately. Desire banged through my core as he pushed me towards the plush female restroom to the rear of the dining area that I already knew was lockable, expensively decorated and housed a huge chaise lounge in the corner of a mirrored section to the right of the entrance. With the way Jonah vehemently directed me towards that particular room; it was obvious he knew what lay behind the heavy wooden door also.

  Pushing me roughly through the entrance, his arm left me for a second as he closed the door behind him with an ominous click of the lock sliding into place. I scanned the private stalls to the left as Jonah stalked walked towards me with a sly grin on his face. Following my line of vision, he nodded towards the toilets. “We’re alone sweetheart. I’ve been checking for the last thirty minutes.”

  My greedy eyes raked in his profile with appreciation as he stood before me. Dark brown hair fell lazily across his forehead; his deep blue eyes were hooded with lust. I whimpered as my sex cramped violently, an action that was visible in its intensity. My breath caught in my throat as my pulse thumped at the base of my neck. Weeks of need, want and longing unleashed pent up frustration, suppressed hunger flowed through my veins like hot molten lava. It was still there. The invisible but tangible electric current that wound around our souls and pulled us together remained undamaged and untouched. My hand clamped down hard between my thighs as the swell of my clit heightened, the tender nub crying out for his touch. Jonah’s breath hitched and his shirt strained across his sculptured chest as he exhaled and inhaled forcefully.

  “I need to love you, Ava, give me your permission, baby please.” His Irish tone sounded like the sweetest melodic baritone as his plea rang clear in my ears.

  I stood rooted to the spot. Riveted by his beauty, enraptured in the aura of power, dominance and out of control virility he projected. Sexual prowess dripped from his fingertips, the impressive bulge barely contained within his tailored pants only emphasised that fact. He was uncontrollable, untameable and standing in front of me making me an offer no woman alive was able to refuse.

  “Don’t deny me. Don’t deny us. I’m still the same man I was.” He held his arms out to the side. “Tell me its okay, Ava. Give me your permission to make love to you.”

  Before I had the chance to stop myself, I nodded my head slowly in acceptance. My mind was made up. My permission granted by a betraying body that gave my brain no time to process what I was agreeing to do. Or time to back out.

  Jonah closed the short distance between us in one stride, his mouth sealing around mine with a growl so primal, so swamped with emotion that my toes curled with delight while my heart winced in pain. His tongue plunged my mouth, our teeth clashing as desperation to feel connected and to become as one, gripped us both. I moaned loudly as the hard pressure of his lips bruised my own under the ferocity of his raising ardour. He tasted of sin, temptation and soul warming familiarity, a taste that over rode my wary senses with each lash of his tongue against the flesh inside my mouth.

  “I love you so much, baby,” he breathed hoarsely against my lips as my fingers found the soft strands of his hair and tugged softly. He broke the kiss with a groan; his large palms cupping my face as he pulled his head back slightly. That’s when I saw the glistening of his cheeks and the redness of his dark blue eyes glazed with tears. The pull on my heart was painful as my fingertips ran across the warm wetness misted across the flawless skin of his cheeks. Tears of my own caught in my throat as my chest rose and fell harshly, the ache piercing my reawakened heart becoming almost unbearable.

  “Don’t you dare pity me,” he bit out with a bitter edge to his voice. “I don’t deserve your fucking pity, Ava. I hurt you and for that I need to suffer.”

  My eyes stung as the tears in my throat now welled in my eyes. “I don’t pity you. I just feel your pain.”

  He rested his forehead across mine. “I want you to feel me, taste me, remember, Ava. God, I need you to remember.”

  “Remember what?”

  “That for a time, even if just for a short time, I actually got it right.”

  Tipping my head backwards I saw the look of hope written across his divine face and for a moment the slate wiped itself clean. Sincerity shone through the hope and despair and I knew instinctively his actions had been out of duty and with no maliciousness. There was still so much I had to know, but then and there, in a rare moment of clarity one thing was clear above all else. His need for me was as real as mine was for him. The connection I had doubted we ever shared over the last few torturous weeks was a definite force that we both were unable to deny. I saw love for me for the first time in its purest and most honest form and I embraced it without question or reservation. Because I had learned not so long ago that I needed love. I craved to be loved. After years of telling myself everything to the contrary, recently I realised that to be a lie. The neglectful failings of my mother left me in denial. I was unable to deny the longing that dwelled deep within me any longer. So I grasped it with both hands, gave into the warm sensations that knowing I was important to someone induced, and did what my heart wanted to do for once. I gave myself to the human being who touched my soul like no other ever could and hoped beyond hope I wasn’t about to make the biggest fucking mistake of my short life.

  Reaching up on my tiptoes I kissed each of his cheeks softly and revelled in the stunned look Jonah gave me before closing his eyes as I rubbed my nose against his. My arms wrapped around his neck, my lips pressed against his, coaxing his mouth to open and accept my tongue. My nipples tightened as he groaned loudly and twisted his tongue around mine, our mouths fucking each other as the kiss deepened. I whimpered and my body went lax as his hands gripped the flesh of my ass and pulled me against his hardened cock. Our kiss became frenzied, our lips eating at each other’s mouths with warranted urgency. Fucking Jonah never failed to chase away the bad and inject nothing but good, a precious commodity for a woman whose life knew only cruelty and deep seeded pain. His hands slid under each cheek of my rear as he urged me closer. My need became frenzied; my nails raked at his back and dug into his shoulders. I felt starved of him, empty without him inside me, a feeling of emptiness that needed to be remedied before I lost total control of myself. The heat of his aroused body scorched my skin through the thin cotton of my sundress; a fine sheen of sweat beading the parts of my body where his muscular frame pressed against me. Breaking out of his hold, I clutched the hem of my dress and lifted it over my head in one swift move, leaving me naked but for the saturated white panties that had almost disintegrated from the heat between my legs. Inhaling a sharp breath, Jonah’s eyes greedily appraised my naked form as I stood shamel
essly bare before him. Sliding my hand teasingly across my breasts and the flat plains of my stomach before resting over the sheer fabric of my panties, his lips parted and the pulse in his neck throbbed wildly as he watched me. His eyes slid towards my hand which slipped beneath the white lace, his throat working frantically as my hand cupped my sex and massaged the swollen flesh underneath. My cheeks flushed and my body bowed as warm sensations shot into my core. My fingers pinched and rolled my clit in an attempt to dampen the ache. I was so turned on it was painful, the deep desire flowing through my sensitised being, just bearable. Throwing my head back with a groan, I slipped a finger into the wetness of my sex. The sensation of being filled, having something inside me was overwhelming. Weeks of abstaining from all acts sexually related had worn heavy leaving my libido rocketing to an uncontrollable level. Jonah was the only cure and I needed a fix, immediately.

  “Make me remember, Jonah,” I whimpered as I continued to massage myself, “Now.”

  He relieved himself of his jeans then lunged for me. His cock pressed heavily against my clit as he lifted me from my feet and my legs wrapped around his hips. His mouth found mine, his kiss almost feverish in its assault. His lips were firm and possessive as they sealed around mine. The thick cushioning of the chaise lounge hit my back as he lay me horizontally along it’s length while shrugging out of the silk boxers that denied me what I needed most....his cock. My mouth watered as it fell from its confines, heavy, thickly veined and hard as steel. How could I forget the hint of pain accommodating his size always induced? The silky soft feel of his skin as he slid in and out of my hungry sex would never become a distant memory. I would always remember, forgetting Jonah Jacobson was most definitely not an option. His lips returned to mine as a sharp tug against my skin told me my panties had been dispensed of. I moaned loudly as he thrust into me, teasing me with what I was near out of my mind with wanting. His mouth moved to my neck, sucking lightly at my pulse point as he flicked his tongue across it. “Tell me you still want me, Ava,” he whispered against my skin.

  “I still want you,” I breathed as the tip of his cock nudged against my opening. My thighs widened as I bucked against him, desperate to feel connected, desperate to be filled.

  I cried out as he lunged into me, penetrating me with one sharp thrust. Tears welled in the corner of my eyes as the slight pain but sweet pleasure owned me completely as it always did. The way it had from the very beginning. Every ridge of muscle adorning his arms and torso flexed then stiffened as he stilled inside me. Removing his head from my neck and holding his weight on both arms, locks of dark brown hair clung to his damp forehead as he gazed down at me. “You’re even more beautiful than I remember.” His voice was laced with emotion as he continued to stare. Tilting back his head he blew out a deep breath as he rolled his hips circling his cock inside me. “And your pussy feels hotter and tighter than I remember it. Jesus, Ava, being inside you is like truly coming home.”

  “God, Jonah,” the tears fell from my eyes and streamed down the side of my face.

  “You are my home, sweetheart, the only place I’ve ever felt like I belonged.”

  My hands twisted in the hair at the nape of his neck and pulled his head downwards. Shifting his weight onto his forearms, his weight settled over me pinning me to the couch. “Then be where you belong and fuck me.”

  His back arched as a hand slid beneath my ass and tilted me upwards. I gasped as he slid further within me, stretching the walls of my sex to their full capacity. Every muscle within my core locked down hard as he began to move, fucking me, loving me. Each thrust opened me wider as his cock battered into my slick sex relentlessly. I clawed at his back, his shoulders and my hands gliding over every inch of the flawless skin hidden beneath his still buttoned shirt. The material rasped against my lengthened nipples as his chest rubbed against mine injecting a hint of soreness on the tips. The scent of sex and the musk of our joined arousals hung around us in the air as a mist of sweat swept across both of our bodies. His cock thickened inside me as my pussy clamped around his girth, clinging to him as he continued to pound into me time after time. His rhythm was relentless as our soul’s merged and passionate desire clashed. I lifted my hips on every upstroke, matching each stroke as the orgasm brewing within my core edged closer to release. Our grunts and pleasured groans echoed around the room as our slick bodies moved together. A scream wrenched from my throat as I came hard around him, the spasms from my sex prolonged as he continued to thrust and milk my orgasm to its fullest.

  “Fuck,” he hissed through clenched teeth. The swell of his cock inside me told me he was close just as his lips locked with mine. Sinking his teeth into my bottom lip he came, his orgasm shuddered through his body as he groaned loudly into my mouth. A gush of hot, thick semen rushed into my bruised sex, oozing out of my entrance in copious amounts as he continued to come, filling me to the brim and beyond. Shallow breaths and satiated pants were all that could be heard as he collapsed on top of me in a tangle of limbs and intensely satisfied souls.

  Chapter Five

  Intense male heat crept across my back as I woke from the few hours’ of sleep I had finally succumbed to after the night before. The soft hum of the sea and pale sunlight that filtered through the thin satin curtains of my balcony window told me it was still early morning. I moved my head to the side and rested my cheek against the soft, inviting pillow. Sweeping the long tresses of auburn hair from my back, Jonah’s lips pressed softly between my shoulder blades and sent tingles of awareness across my skin. Laid on my front with my arms tucked beneath me, the feel of his cock nudging against my ass as his burning hot frame enveloped me hitched my breath. Anal was off the limits, something Jonah knew and respected. Ingrained fear of anal play had been instilled after the rape that had almost ended my life. My newly awakened libido may be ready to explore and become openly adventurous but my ass was completely out of bounds and always would be.

  A sliver of wariness slid down my spine as he pressed further, the tip of his cock flush against the puckered hole that clenched tightly with fear. My whole body stiffened as he continued to apply pressure as if waiting to be granted access. Alex, my adoptive stepfather, had violated that very area during the assault he subjected me to over four years ago. Even with Jonah, the man who I loved above all else, the thought of reliving that nightmare was unthinkable and absolutely unattainable.

  “Jonah, stop,” I said in a firm voice as he continued to push and probe. His tanned arms bracketed my sides, his defined pectorals hard against my upper back as his cheek rubbed across mine. “I would never hurt you intentionally, Ava, especially not in a physical sense but damn, your divine rear looks so tempting right now.”

  Rather than repulse me as the mention of my ass usually did, a faint spark of arousal ignited within my stomach. A spark I intended to cut before it spread further.

  “I don’t do anal and you know why,” I replied without hesitation, although the hint of disappointment I felt when I spoke the words confused me.

  “When we make love the main focus is pleasure, not pain. I can’t help but want my cock to claim every piece of you as its own. Your perfect, pert arse included.”

  Curiosity pricked at me. “You sound as though you’re talking from experience.”

  His lips skimmed across my shoulder. “I’ve never made love to a woman before you but yes I’ve indulged in anal sex before.”

  “With Darcy?” The question left my lips before I could stop it.

  Jonah’s body tensed against my back and fell silent before answering. “Yes, I fucked her up the arse once or twice.”

  Jealousy flowed through me with powerful force. “And did you enjoy it with her?”

  Sighing heavily, his hair tickled my shoulder as his head fell against it. “Ava, do we really need to go there?”

  “Yes, yes we do.” As much as thoughts of Jonah up her pretty ass filled my stomach with burning bile, a part of me needed to know.

  My back suddenly fe
ll cold as Jonah rolled to my side and faced me. His piercing blue eyes burned through me, the depths of sincerity almost intimidating. “Why do you need to know about worthless, meaningless sex I shared with someone I once classed as nothing more than a friend? The thought of you sharing your sexual past with me makes me feel homicidal. The last thing I want to hear is how another man pleasured you and made you come.”

  He had a point. Did I really want to torture myself with the truth? Seeing Darcy with Jonah, a woman who aesthetically matched his own beauty in ways I was incapable of achieving, had reinforced what my insecure side had always believed. Jonah Jacobson was way out of my lowly league and I needed his reassurance that I was good enough more than I realised. So hell yeah I wanted to know.

  “You looked so good together,” I said in a flat but truthful tone. “Sex between the two of you must have been equally as good.”

  As if he could read my twisted thoughts, Jonah cursed beneath his breath. “Christ Ava, when the hell are you going to stop looking at yourself as not worthy? I’m the one who has never been worthy sweetheart.”

  “I never said I wasn’t nor was that what I meant,” I lied. “But come on, two people as hot as you and she had to be hot between the sheets also.”

  His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed. “Sex with Darcy was dull and empty, usually occurring when I was either intoxicated or too exhausted to object. She instigated it, I ended it then I left.”

  “But you fucked her up the ass. That’s a deeply intimate act involving a shit load of trust. She wouldn’t have allowed you to if she didn’t care for you on some level.”

  “I don’t give a shit whether she cared about me or not. I didn’t care for her and she knew it. I didn’t want or need her trust because I didn’t care.”

  Arching a brow in question, he ran a warm hand down my arm, over my hips and round to my behind. I shivered under his touch as he slipped a single finger between the cheeks of my ass.