I gritted my teeth, my nostrils flaring. I had to keep it in me. I couldn’t lash out on him just because he was picking at the scab without even knowing it.
“It’s fine. It’s all in the past.”
But it wasn’t all in the past. Not at all and not tonight. For a reason unknown to me, my brain decided to toy with me and remind me of Emma every few seconds. We entered the packed bar, and immediately, a stab of pain pierced through my skull. It was overcrowded and too loud.
We advanced through the standing crowds of people until we managed to find an empty table in the middle of the bar. According to Jake, this was one of the most popular places, and right now, I couldn’t hate it more. I felt agitated and annoyed with everything, but I was trying my best to hide it. I couldn’t make a scene just because I had changed. They didn’t have to know the new side of me.
We sat down and ordered beer, and as soon as the waitress left, Dominic faced me, sitting next to me. “A nice piece of ass, no?” he asked me, wiggling his eyebrows. He was referring to the waitress, who kept staring at me while taking our orders.
Yeah, she was hot, but at the moment, I couldn’t even bring myself to care about it, and I hated it. I hated feeling this way because I was normally a happy go with the flow kind of guy, but ever since combat I had felt an anger that I had never felt before.
I couldn’t smile as often as before, and I couldn’t stand crowded places anymore. I hoped that the beer would put an end to my vexation and blanket my negative thoughts, but I knew that it most likely wouldn’t work. Antidepressants and alcohol rarely helped me find the peace that I lost the moment I went into my first fight. And when you looked the death in the eyes, it stayed with you forever, replaying in your mind mercilessly.
“She’s fine,” I responded to Dominic.
“She’s more than fine,” Aiden, my other friend, said. He was also single like me. “I would bang that pussy if I had the chance.” I’d almost forgotten how crude Aiden could be. He was a womanizer and didn’t like to settle for one girl only.
“Why don’t you ask her for her number?” Jake asked him.
“Maybe I will later. But I think she likes our friend here more.” Aiden pointed at me, and I shrugged my shoulders.
Did I want to waste my time on her? Was it worth it?
At this point in my life, I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend. There was no chance I would allow anyone to stay by my side when I was this unpredictable and moody. That was a huge risk. So that left only one-night stands.
I caught her gaze on her way to our table, but I didn’t feel attracted to her. She was pretty but not my type.
“Here you go, guys,” the waitress said and put our drinks on our table. Then she flashed me a seductive smile. Nothing. My cock didn’t even budge. “Call me if you need anything else,” she said, looking at me all the time, and I just nodded in response, managing to send a half-smile her way.
“Oh, we’ll definitely need something else,” Aiden purred and winked at her. She smiled in response and sashayed away.
“Geez, man. I’m starting to think that you’ve really become a nun,” Jake told me, nudging my shoulder. “She’s obviously interested in you, but you don’t give a flying fuck about it.”
“Yeah, man,” Aiden added. “If you don’t want her, then I’ll jump in.”
“Be my guest,” I told him. “If she wants you, that is,” I jeered at him, unable to stop myself. The man was sometimes too cocky for his own good.
“Whoa, man,” Hunter, another friend, said, raising his arms in the air. “That was a burn!”
My lips quirked up in a smile that was far away from being sincere. I just wanted to go home. We clanked our glasses, and I took a huge gulp of my beer, telling myself to hold myself together and endure this night a little bit longer.
Chapter 7
Emma
I linked my arms with Demi before we walked into the bar, trying my best to force Noah out of my mind. The memories of our dates continued to haunt me, until I was close to telling the taxi driver to turn around and drive me back home.
I couldn’t let Noah ruin yet another night for me. He had done than more than enough during the months following our breakup.
I thought that when we arrived to the bar, it would get better, but my brain continued to oppose me. Why? Why tonight? What it was about this night that made me obsess over him all over again.
My friends and I moved to the bar in the center of the room, noticing the way the guys around the place watched us. I caught one guy openly staring at my legs, and I smiled at him. We took seats at the bar and started chatting about the different guys around us.
“Damn, there are many fine male specimens here,” Clarissa said, fanning herself with her hand.
We ordered cocktails and made a toast. “To fun,” Demi said.
“To fun,” we repeated, and I took a sip of my Mojito.
“Did you see how he looked at you?” Clarissa asked Demi, leaning over me to tell her in a lower voice that could barely be heard over the loud music.
“Who?”
Clarissa rolled her eyes. “The bartender, silly! He was totally checking you out.”
Demi grinned at her. “Maybe.”
“So, what are you going to do about it?”
“Wait to see if there is someone more interesting.”
“Ouch,” Melanie said, sitting on Demi’s other side. “Poor bartender.”
“Hey! You know I have a specific taste,” Demi replied to her.
“Like tall, sexy, and rich,” Clarissa said.
“Exactly,” Demi answered and took a sip of her Tequila Sunrise.
“You’re too picky,” I said.
“The pot calling the kettle black,” she told me. “How about you? Have you finally met someone who meets all your criteria?”
“Not really. Tonight’s date was another failure. If this keeps up, I’ll give up on dating for good.”
“Don’t give up,” Melanie said. “You’ll find the right one for you sooner or later.” She was always saying that, but it was easy to think that way when you were in a stable relationship.
“Not all of us are lucky like you, Melanie,” Clarissa told her, expressing my exact thoughts.
“It’s not about luck. Believe me. You’ll find your soulmates. Maybe they are here!” She motioned at the people around us, and I snorted. Yeah. Not likely.
I glanced around and caught a few gazes from the men who were checking me out, but other than a few flutters in my belly, I didn’t feel anything. My brain found this a perfect moment to torture me more, reminding me of the moment when I set my eyes on Noah for the first time.
It was in P.E. and it happened after a ball hit me. I ended on the ground, when a boy appeared above me wearing a worried expression on his face. He apologized to me for hitting me accidentally with the ball, but all I could think about was how gorgeous he was. His amber eyes looked at me like he could see all of me, and the attraction between us was instant. I could feel the sparks fly, the time slowing down for us. No one else mattered.
I fell for him—literally and figuratively—right then and there, and then he asked me out. We had been an item ever since.
I took another sip of my Mojito, regretting not ordering something much stronger. I looked at the bartender, who was now staring at Demi so obviously that I felt sorry for the guy.
“Why don’t you give him a chance?” I asked her, motioning with my head at the bartender. “Look how cute he is.”
“Then why don’t you give him the time of the day? I’m just not that interested. In fact, I’m more interested in the guy over there.” She pointed at someone behind me.
“Who?” I asked and turned around, trying to figure out who she was pointing at.
“Oh, he’s there. He’s sitting next to some blonde. You see that hot group of guys in the center of the bar?”
I nodded even though I wasn’t sure if we were looking at the same group…
“He’s facing us, so you can’t miss him. He has a pretty striking amber eyes and brown hair. And he looks really rugged and dangerous. He’s just my type.”
I squinted, focusing on finding the guy she was describing, until I found him and the world stopped moving.
Oh. My. God.
No. No, no, no.
Noah. It was Noah.
I quickly turned my head back so he didn’t spot me, my body filling with panic. I couldn’t believe this. Was that truly Noah? Did I start imagining things? I’d been thinking about him the whole night and now I started seeing him?
I sneaked a peak over my shoulder to confirm if it was him with my heart in my throat and whipped my head back. Yes. It was him. I would recognize his face anywhere.
What the hell was he doing here? I couldn’t believe that he was actually here! He came back and of all places, he was here.
“What’s wrong with you?” Demi asked me, unaware of how shaken I felt at the moment.
“Nothing. It’s just that it got a bit hot in here.”
“Yeah, you may bet it got hot. With that hot guy over there.” She winked at me, and I barely managed to smile at her, countless thoughts rushing through my head. Demi didn’t know Noah, because she was my friend from college.
I didn’t know if this was the irony of life or if I had done something wrong so I was getting punished now, but I knew I couldn’t allow him to see me. Because I had no clue what could happen if I were to allow him anywhere near me again.
Chapter 8
Noah
The guys had been rattling on for about thirty minutes now, and I had difficulty following the flow of their conversations. I was trying my best to have fun, but I couldn’t help getting frustrated with the whole situation. Everything about it—sitting in a loud, crowded bar among people I didn’t actually want to be with and listening to their pointless talk—was driving me up the wall.
I had thought that once I came back home, I would be able to return to normal life, but I was so wrong. It was even worse because this kind of life—this ignorance that my friends had—didn’t fit me anymore. I couldn’t relate to my friends and my old life anymore, and this made me even more lost and panicky.
I hadn’t counted on the fact that once I got home I would have to reorganize and find myself.
My headache was persistent, and I felt like I was close to losing it. I had to get out of here before my anger took over me.
“So, man?” Jake asked me. “Have you spotted someone interesting?”
I downed my beer, not feeling even close to how drunk I wanted to be. “Nah.”
“I can’t believe you, dude. Like, there are so many gorgeous chicks, and you don’t even notice them.”
“Maybe he’s gay,” Aiden added, winking at me.
I rolled my eyes. “And maybe I’ll fuck your ass next,” I bit back, mistaking his joke for affront. I had the serious urge to fight with someone, and if this continued, that someone would be Aiden.
“Eww. Shit, man. What have they been doing to you in the army? You’re totally different.”
“Well, losing your comrades and killing to survive every day does that to a man,” I remarked, unleashing my fury, and the whole table grew silent and deadly serious.
Dominic scratched his neck, realizing we had touched upon a sensitive topic. “Hey, it’s okay. If you aren’t interested in the girls here, then that’s less competition for the rest of us.”
“That’s right,” Jake said, forming a smile that was so fake that I could’ve spotted it from a mile away. I let this slide, swallowing the put-down that had been on the tip of my tongue.
“You really need to chill,” Aiden told me and raised his hands in the air. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. I mean it as a friend. We should pick up some girls at the bar and go somewhere quieter. Believe me, everything will be way better if you find a nice pussy for the night.”
Even if I actually gave his idea a shot, I really wasn’t sure how I was supposed to find anyone that could compare to Emma.
I was about to tell them I was leaving, but then Jake ordered another round of beer for all of us, refusing to take no as an answer. I fisted my hands bellow the table, telling myself to calm the fuck down and stop acting like a petulant child. I could endure another round. I hoped.
A few girls came up to our table, all of them dressed in a way that revealed more than it covered. I appreciated the view, but then one of them, a blonde, sat next to me, and I had absolutely no desire to talk with her.
However, she had other plans for me, since she didn’t let my silence deter her. “You look lonely,” she said in an overly sweet voice.
I arched my eyebrow at her. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“How so?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I just know. My sister is a psychiatrist, so I’ve picked up a few things.”
I barely resisted snorting. “And what do you do?”
“I’m a real estate agent.”
“Nice.”
“I haven’t seen you here before,” her red-haired friend, who was sitting across from me, told me. “And I know everyone since I’m here all the time.”
“Noah has returned home only recently,” Aiden responded instead of me.
“Oh? And where have you been?” the girl next to me asked me.
I didn’t like talking about the army, and I wanted to smack Aiden for speaking in my name.
“You know. Here and there.”
The redhead raised her eyebrows. “Why does that sound like you’re a spy or something like that?”
Dominic burst into chuckles. “You’ve been watching a lot of movies, sweetie. He was in the army.”
The blonde next to me stared at me in admiration. “Oh. The army. That’s great.”
Yeah. The chicks dug soldiers. I had no idea why because the life in the army wasn’t as nearly glamorous as they thought it was.
“I always admired soldiers,” the blonde said, wrapping her arm around mine, and leaned closer to me. I tensed, angry that she was now completely invading my personal space. Her overly sweet fragrance engulfed me, and I wished she would stop touching me. I wanted to tell her that, but I was afraid I would snap at her if I tried to.
“Really? Why?”
“Because you’re brave, strong, confident… Just the type of men I like,” she replied to me, and I was seconds away from rolling my eyes.
We continued talking, but it didn’t take me long to realize that I had nothing in common with these girls. Actually, it was quite the opposite, since I usually steered clear of the girls like them. Their world revolved around things that I couldn’t care less about. I was thankful for the buzz from the beer because without it, I wouldn’t be able to just sit here and listen to their small talk.
At least Aiden was going to get laid if his bubbly excitement was anything to go by. I guess I was happy for the guy?
All of a sudden, the air felt thick around me, and I could feel goosebumps appearing on my skin. I looked around to see if other guys noticed it, but they didn’t. I glanced at the blonde next to me, but she wasn’t even looking at me, her attention directed to Jake as he talked about something.
I started to look around, my skin prickling, and that was when I saw Emma enter the bar. All the air got stolen out of my lungs, my heart rate skyrocketing.
What the actual fuck? It couldn’t be. I was hallucinating. That had to be it.
I narrowed my eyes at her, studying her, but she didn’t disappear. She was real, and I wasn’t imagining things. Emma Smith was here. The rest of the bar melted into the background, and all I could focus on was her.
She was looking better than she ever did in high school. She was wearing a red mini cocktail dress that really fit her, accentuating her plump breasts and curvy hips. Her long blonde hair was falling down in curls I wanted to run my hands through. I felt my cock hardening, much to my surprise.
I tightened my jaw when she walked over
to the bar, and I had a perfect view of her hot ass. I could practically imagine my hands moving down her gorgeous body and taking all of her. I closed my eyes, panting, and imagined her tight and wet pussy, all open for me.
The intensity of my reaction took me aback, and I tried to reel it in, not wanting my friends to see me like this. The blonde next to me was in a deep conversation with Jake, and others didn’t even look in my way. I used this to move my hand under the table and adjust myself, my throbbing cock pressed in my pants too tightly for me to feel comfortable.
My eyes flickered to Emma again, watching her as she talked with her friends. She was so beautiful, and I wondered if she had someone who was waiting for her at home.
There were two things that confused me more than anything.
One, I hadn’t expected my body to react this strongly to a woman, even if that woman was my old flame. There had been a period in the army when I couldn’t get aroused at all, the stress killing my libido, and even after I returned home, I couldn’t look at women the same way as before. And I kept comparing them to Emma, remembering very well how good she made me feel each time her hands and lips connected with my skin.
Two, whenever I thought about meeting Emma again, I never imagined I would get this attracted to her. I didn’t count on wanting her more than I thought was possible. Sure, I had the lingering memories of our heated encounters, but I had accepted them as a part of the past. I certainly didn’t expect to be floored by how good she looked now.
All I could focus on was the fine line of her waist and gorgeously-shaped ass on that bar stool, and it was messing with my mind.
I shouldn’t be paying attention to her. It would be best if I left this place right away.
But I was damned, because my body and mind didn’t listen, keeping me seated with my eyes glued on her.
Chapter 9
Emma
“So, what do you think about him?” Demi asked me about Noah, completely clueless about the inner storm I was experiencing at the moment.
“He looks nice.” Just like the girl next to him.
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