Girth

by Savannah Rylan

  He bent down and kissed me with a passion I knew was only meant for myself.

  “I gotta get to my post,” he said. “Everything’s going down within the next hour.”

  “That soon?” I asked. “Hawk, please. You gotta stay safe, all right?”

  “I’ll stay as safe as I can. I promise you, Syd, this is almost over. You remember what we talked about?”

  “Yeah. I gotta call Agent Mahoney,” I said.

  “Could you do that for me? Before I leave?”

  “Of course.”

  I dug through my purse and scrolled through my phone. My hands were shaking, and I could see a pile of guilt racing across Hawk’s face. This was the lifestyle I’d tried to run from. The fear and the danger, and Hawk was finally starting to see that. He was finally starting to understand why I fled from it and why I was trying to keep Emery away from it. I took a deep breath as I laid back down on the bed, feeling Hawk’s hands massaging my skin. He was trying to get me to settle down, and rightfully so.

  This was the part I played that would get Emery and I safe for good.

  “Agent Mahoney speaking.”

  “Agent Mahoney? It’s me, Sydney Marshall.”

  “Ah, Miss Marshal. Are you ready to talk?” she asked.

  “No, I’m not ready to talk, and you’ve got a lot of this wrong. If you really wanna know what’s going on-- if you really wanna know where your attention needs to be-- head for the warehouse if you’re back in the Nevada area.”

  “And why should I do that?” she asked.

  “Because you’re predictable and because what’s going on could be the score of your career,” I said. “I think you’ll find something worth the DEA’s attention. But when you find it, just know we have some things to discuss.”

  “What things are we… discussing?” she asked.

  “Things like how you’re gonna leave my fucking daughter and me alone.”

  I felt that same strength from earlier rising up from my toes as Hawk’s shocked stare penetrated my temple. I felt him pick up my free hand within his and bring it up to his lips for a kiss, and at that moment I fell more in love with him than the day I first realized I’d never been able to let him go. Agent Mahoney fell silent on the other end of the line, but when I heard her take a deep breath, I knew I had her backed into a corner.

  “The only way you’re getting away with this is because we have nothing on you. You know that right?” she asked.

  “And you’ll never find anything on me. I was a joyrider. A fun little wannabe that was looking for some action after losing my father. Nothing else.”

  “Sorry for your loss,” she said.

  “No, you’re not. Get to the warehouse. I’m serious. I’ll text you the address.” I said.

  I hung up the phone and tossed it to the side before I threw myself at Hawk. He caught my naked body in his arms as I straddled his lap, soaking up his warmth one last time in case something happened.

  In case something when terribly wrong tonight.

  “Now?” he asked, chuckling.

  “Shut up, dick. Just be safe. Emery needs her father, and I need you,” I said.

  “I love you, too, Syd. I always have.”

  I kissed him one last time, memorizing the way his body felt solid against mine. I could feel him shaking, being pulled between two lives as his hands roamed my naked back. He laid me back down into the bed, covering my body with the comforter before he placed one last kiss on my forehead. I could tell he didn’t want to make love to me. Not like this. I knew he was scared and I knew he wanted to call Emery. I lost myself in his eyes one last time before he stood up and headed for the door, and everything within me wanted to reach out and beg him to stay.

  He turned around and looked back at me one last time, the worry dripping from his eyes unabashedly as an icy chill ran up my spine. Tears dripped down my cheeks as he turned and headed down the hallway, and I curled up into the blanket as I listened to him pad around downstairs.

  I knew he was going to protect his family one way or another. No matter what had to happen, I knew he was going to finish this tonight. He was determined to get the DEA off my back, and he was determined to save the reputation of The Road Rebels. In that very moment, during our silent goodbye, before he left to go downstairs, there had been a silent agreement we’d both settled upon.

  He’d finally accepted that whatever life I chose for Emery, he would stand beside.

  But the moment I heard his shotgun cock, the blood rushed to my toes. I hopped out of bed and grabbed his bathrobe, slinging it around my body as the front door shut with a thud. I screamed for him. Shrieked for him to come back. The only other time I’d ever heard him cock a gun was that night.

  The night we were both robbed of the only parents we ever knew.

  “Hawk! No! Stop!”

  I raced downstairs and ripped the door open as I saw him speeding off on his bike. Tears poured down my cheeks as I yelled for him, cupping my hands around my lips as I tried to get him to come back. They could do this without him. He could protect them from here. But we needed him. Emery needed him.

  I needed him.

  I watched as his bike receded into the darkness, my fear taking me to my knees as tears ran down my cheeks.

  The sparkling gunmetal of the shotgun attached to his back mocked me from its growing distance as my stomach felt sick.

  Deep in my bones, something told me he wasn’t coming back, and the thought was absolutely petrifying.

  Chapter 17

  Hawk

  We had worked it out with our suppliers to make two shipments. The shipment arriving at the warehouse was low-quality shit that could not be traced back to our supplier. It wouldn’t matter if it ended up in the DEA’s hands. While we had the DEA’s attention, our real shipment was happening at another warehouse across town that Snake was overseeing.

  I got to the warehouse and hid my bike in the abandoned building next to it where everyone else had parked. I switched out my coat and slid into a Devil Saints leather cut, gagging while I did so. The club had stolen some of their cuts years ago after the shootout had happened.

  I knew this plan was going to work, but the thought of wearing something that could’ve been potentially on the back of who killed my father was sickening. I left my shotgun at my bike, having it just in case I needed it, then I headed for the main warehouse.

  The delivery trucks were arriving now, and I knew we had to unload them quickly so they could leave. Our trucks would then be used for transport. One would stay here at the warehouse, and the other would be headed for the Saints’ compound.

  The trucks we had were identical. We had to pay a great deal of money out of pocket in order to secure this operation, but as we began loading up the identical trucks, I could feel us getting one step closer to freedom.

  Fox had agreed to drive the truck all the way up to the compound, but it took some convincing for Mac. He wanted to be the one to do it, not someone below him. He felt the President of the gang should be the one to take the most risk in this operation, but Fox wasn’t having it. Fox was the one that knew the most about driving trucks, but he was also the thinnest, which made him light on his feet and hard to catch.

  “Did you park your bike up on the hill like we talked about?” Mac asked him.

  “Yep,” Fox said. “I drive, I park, I slide out into the darkness, and I round up the side of the mountain to get to you guys.”

  “And if we aren’t there?” Mac asked.

  “Get the fuck outta dodge,” Fox said.

  Those of us who were wearing the Devil Saints jackets were loading up one truck with the low-quality drugs, then those who were simply wearing nothing but orange vests and work clothes would be loading up another truck. Just in case this went south, we needed to make sure there were enough get-ups on camera to make it look like this was strictly a Saints operation. We wanted the DEA to believe that the saints owned this compound. The trucks and the workers. If ther
e were too many people wearing Saints’ jackets, then it would look too conspicuous. It had to look like a legit operation.

  I came out of the shadows and started loading the drugs in the auto part crates onto the truck before we shut the door, then I banged on the side of the truck in order to get Fox moving. I watched him in my sunglasses as he drove off, making sure he got away from the warehouse all right with the big rig before I started back for the shadows. The people dressed in orange vests still weren’t quite done loading up the truck that would stay here, and I knew the DEA agents would be here pretty soon.

  We all had to make sure we were cleared out by then. Otherwise, we risked getting caught.

  I walked back into the shadows and switched out the Devil Saints leather cut for an orange vest and hat. Those of us who stayed behind finished loading the other truck with the auto part crates with the low-quality shit. Having a truck here with the drugs would set off the DEA agents we knew would be arriving soon. They’d pull up footage of the warehouse and see us all in Devil Saints cuts, and that would lead them right to their doorstep.

  The perfect plan if we could all get out of here without being seen.

  We all dodged the cameras before making our way back to our bikes in the abandoned warehouse. We cranked ourselves up and took the backroads all the way to the Devil Saints compound, making sure to stay out of sight while we made sure Fox got there safely. We stayed with the truck, making sure nothing would happen to it while it was on the highway, and the moment we hit the main drag that took us right into the heart of their territory, we diverted.

  We wound ourselves up a massive red clay mountain that perched us right over their compound. We cut off our bikes and watched the truck pull right up to their main lodge, and I smirked as we prepared for the show. Any minute now that DEA agent would be pulling up to the warehouse, and I couldn’t wait to watch these assholes go down in flames.

  If we were lucky, a firefight would ensue, and we could watch their blood spill like they spilled ours all those years ago.

  “Hey shitheads,” Snake said as he rolled up.

  “Get our shipment handled?” I asked.

  “Yup, we are all set on our end. Truck is gone, and all of the drugs are hidden in our mechanic shop.”

  “Good,” Mac said.

  “As I was riding over here, I saw a black sedan headed in the direction of our warehouse.”

  “Then it shouldn’t be long now,” Mac said. “All our guys out of there?” he asked turning towards Talon.

  “Yep. Made sure of it. Left behind a Devil Saints cut, too. Just in case they needed more proof,” Talon said.

  “Fucking perfect,” Snake said, chuckling.

  We all sat there as the sirens started whirring way off in the distance. I started getting anxious, wondering if this was going to go down as planned. We all sat on our bikes as a few of the Devil Saints came riding up, scoping out the truck that was just sitting there without a driver.

  That’s when we heard Fox huffing himself up the hill, sweat pouring down his face as he dragged his bike out of the shadows.

  “I was wonderin’ where you’d put that thing,” I said as he pulled up beside me.

  “Figured crankin’ up my bike would’ve given me away. Damn this mountain’s tall,” Fox said.

  “You got the keys?” I asked.

  Fox pulled them from his jeans pocket and held them up for all of us to behold.

  “Unless someone knows how to hotwire an eighteen wheeler, that shit isn’t goin’ anywhere,” he said.

  The sirens were getting closer and closer, and we knew it was about to be on. We saw the Devil Saints beginning to panic as someone threw open the doors of the truck. A man hopped up into the bed of the truck, no doubt checking out what was in those wooden containers as the sirens got closer and closer. They were so close we could see the lights flickering down the road, and that’s when we saw everyone beginning to panic.

  They were running around and shouting at one another. Some were running into the compound and coming out with guns, which prompted all of us to scoot back a bit onto the mountain. Black sedans skidded into place and guns began to fire, and for a split second I locked up. I was thrown back to that night, where I’d fired my first ever gun at an actual human being. I remembered the people I’d hit. How they screamed and gurgled on their own blood. I remembered how scared Sydney had looked, watching her father while the life fled from his eyes. I could only imagine how frightened she was now, sitting in that house alone waiting for me to come back.

  She was probably wondering if I would ever come back.

  The shotgun hung on my back just like it had that night The Devil Saints rolled up on us. We listened to the gunfire ring out into the night as more and more DEA agents showed up. We heard people screaming while the officers called for backup. We saw people being hauled off in handcuffs as motorcycle after motorcycle rolled up onto the site of the party. It was absolute chaos, and we watched with grins on our faces as the entity of The Devils Saints finally came crashing into the ground.

  “The DEA’s gonna have plenty to lock them up for,” Talon said.

  “No fucking joke,” Mac said.

  “How’s Syd?” Fox asked.

  “Probably worried sick,” I said.

  “Well, this has come to a head,” Mac said. “Take the back trail down the mountain and get back to her.”

  The bloodthirsty lust in me wanted to stay and watch this some more. It gave me a shivering pleasure to watch those assholes sink to the ground in their own pools of blood. They’d slaughtered many of our own, ripping from me the most important man in my life.

  And because they did, it ripped from me the only woman who’d ever meant anything to me.

  “Hawk,” Snake said as he hand came down onto my shoulder. “Go home to her. This is good. We’ll call if something happens.”

  I nodded as I drew a deep breath, taking in the stench of metallic blood and fired guns that were filling the nighttime air. I backed my bike all the way up the trail and got into some thick brushes before I started it up, then I slowly made my way back down the mountain. I had to get fifteen miles down the road before the gunfire dissipated into nothingness, and I cruised the highway while I made my way back to Sydney.

  For the first time since she’d appeared on my doorstep two weeks ago, I finally felt relaxed. I knew that she was safe, I knew that my daughter was safe, and I knew I was coming home safe to her. I smiled at the idea of slipping back into bed with her, and she’d probably be so happy to see me that I’d be able to take her body again like I’d wanted to so many times over the past six years.

  My toes curled at the thought of her soft skin against mine as I exited off the highway and headed towards my house.

  Home. The place my father had raised me in.

  Home. The place I’d first had sex with Sydney.

  Home. The place where I first met my daughter.

  Home. The place I hoped Sydney would stay.

  Chapter 18

  Sydney

  I laid there in bed for what seemed like hours. My phone was laying on my chest as I stared up at the ceiling. All night, my mind whirled, wondering if Hawk was okay. If things had gone as planned. If Agent Mahoney was going to leave us alone. I wondered how Emery was doing. If Miss Maria would find it a bother that I wanted to call at four in the morning. I wondered if everyone else was safe. If Uncle Mac was alive and well and if Talon was smiling with their victory.

  I tossed and turned, trying to get back to sleep even though I knew I would never be able to.

  I put my phone on the bedside table and rolled over into Hawk’s spot. I inhaled his scent from the pillow, trying to stop the tears that were rising in my eyes. All I could think about was the bloodbath that had ripped me from him all those years ago. All I could see was the life fading from my father’s eyes. All I could remember was how I’d lost myself in Hawk that night, trying to fuck away from the memory of my father dying as our bodie
s lost themselves in one another.

  Not once did I stop to think about the fact that Hawk was grieving, too. Not once as I shoved my things into a tattered bag did I think about what my absence would do to him. Not once did I even give thought to the fact that we hadn’t used protection.

  Not once did I think about what my absence would’ve done to those who helped raise me.

  Uncle Mac had been my support system. My go-to person when I was fighting with my father. On days where I just wanted that man to leave me alone, I knew I could fly into Mac’s arms and just stay there. He always had a kind word and some sort of soda to give me while I ranted about the stupid shit my father was doing this time, and Mac always had a way of putting things into perspective for me.

  And Talon. Talon was such an awkward, quiet kid. His mom and dad were both part of The Road Rebels, and both of them had died that night in the attack. His mother shielded him with her body, and she died right there on top of him. It wasn’t until he finally had the courage to push her body from his that he found his father lying on the floor next to him.

  Trying to shield him and get to his dying wife.

  Snake and I had been inseparable for years. He was rough around the edges, but at the time he was the only person teaching me how to shoot a gun. My father didn’t trust the person teaching the children how to wield them, so he hired Snake behind everyone’s back to give me a crash course. Snake saw how uncomfortable I was with them, so he enlisted Mac and Fox to help me with hand-to-hand combat.

  Every single man that now made up the core of the group had some sort of hand in raising me. In loving me. In helping my father figure out what the hell to do with a moody, teenage daughter.

  And I’d spat in all their faces when I left without a word.

  It was then I heard a motorcycle revving down the road. I jumped out of bed and wrapped my body back up in his bathrobe. I dashed downstairs and looked out the window, tears rising to my eyes when I saw Hawk approach his porch. I threw the door open before he could even get the key in the lock, and I wrapped my arms around his neck as he picked me up off my feet.