His To Keep

by Stephanie Julian

  And, since she was being so honest with herself, she wanted to know if maybe…just maybe…

  Nic’s eyes narrowed as if he’d read her mind. She had his full attention now, and his gaze burned like the hottest flame.

  Then he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, dragging the long, black strands away from his face. The man had gorgeous hair. For so long, she’d ached to sift it through her fingers. When he scrubbed a hand over his chin, his closely trimmed black beard rasped against his skin, reminding her of how it had felt against her cheek when he’d kissed her.

  “Annie…” He sighed. “Alright. Apology accepted…if you accept mine, as well. I don’t really have an excuse. But I am sorry for frightening you.”

  Okay, time to stop screwing around. She’d done a lot of thinking this week, mostly about what Janey had said. The time had come to test that theory. The theory that Nic wanted her.

  With a small smile, she grabbed onto her courage with both hands and sat in the chair by his desk. As long as she was being honest with herself, she decided to admit that she might have allowed her skirt to slide up a little higher, expose more thigh than she normally would.

  And had to hide a triumphant grin when his gaze slid down her body before snapping up to hers again. “You didn’t frighten me, Nic. You startled me. There’s a difference.”

  His eyes widened slightly. “Oh yeah?”

  “Of course. You caught me off guard. I wasn’t ready for it or expecting it, obviously. So…tell me why you kissed me.”

  She’d spoken the words without stumbling over them but was disappointed when his only reaction was a steady look. Seconds ticked by while he sat there, staring at her. She refused to fidget or drop his gaze and was rewarded when he looked away first.

  “I don’t think you want to hear the answer to that one.” The words sounded like a rumble in his chest.

  “On the contrary. I’d love to know.”

  Nic thought about what to say, what he should tell her and what he shouldn’t. He couldn’t give her the truth. He couldn’t tell her that he’d been waiting seven years to kiss her again.

  “You know, I think you had the right idea the first time.” He lifted his hand to rub at the ever-present ache in his neck. “We should just forget it.”

  If he thought—hoped—that she’d let it go at that, he was sadly mistaken. “So, it wasn’t because of any…feelings you might have for me?”

  Forcing his gaze to meet hers, he jolted at the realization that behind that mask of indifference lay heated interest.

  His blood began heat. “What kind of feelings, Annie?”

  Her mouth tightened but she didn’t back down and a reluctant smile tried to break through his rigid control.

  When she didn’t answer right away, he thought he might’ve pushed her too far. When she’d come in, he hadn’t wanted to discuss this but now… Now, he wanted her to talk, even if it was to yell at him.

  “Oh, I don’t know, Nic.” Sarcasm coated her tone and made his cock throb. “It seems like you can’t stand me most of the time and then you kiss me. I’m sure even you can see where my confusion is coming from.”

  “Yeah, I can. But maybe this isn’t the best place to have this conversation.”

  Her chin tilted into the air but he couldn’t tell if she was angry.

  With a shrug of her shoulder, she sent him a look he couldn’t interpret. “Fine. Then when can we have this conversation?”

  He didn’t hesitate. “How about over a drink after work?”

  She tried to cover her short, sharp breath. “Fine.” She rose from the chair and headed out the door, only to stop and look over her shoulder. “Will you be finished by six?”

  “I should be.”

  She nodded, rising and turning to head out the door. Nic watched her ass until she disappeared out the door then he continued to stare at nothing for a full two minutes.

  When his cell rang, he grabbed for it without looking at the screen.

  “DeMarco.”

  “I don’t think you’re taking me seriously, Dominic. This is not a warning. This is a threat. I will hurt you. But first, I’m going to make you suffer. You can’t be everywhere at once. She’ll never be safe.”

  The call ended with a bare whisper of a click.

  And a black hole opened in his stomach.

  Sonovabitch.

  The voice was the same as last time, distorted. Creepy as hell.

  More so because someone had it in for him and that someone had threatened Annie again.

  Who the hell was this bastard? A nutcase who only wanted to fuck with Nic’s head?

  No. Instinct told him this guy meant business. He knew where Nic lived, where he worked. More importantly, he knew about Nic’s hang up with Annie.

  If this guy came for him, someone he loved might get hurt. And he didn’t think he could live through that again.

  He grabbed the phone and dialed Jimmy’s cell.

  “I got another call,” he snapped before his brother could say hello.

  Jimmy didn’t miss a beat. “Oh, hell. How bad?”

  Nic had his hand up, ready to put it through the wall, but stopped himself before contact. Broke a couple of bones for the effort years ago. Older and wiser, right?

  “Bad. Son-of-a-bitch.”

  “I can be back in a couple of hours,” Jimmy said without hesitation. “Just let me tell these bozos—”

  “No.” Nic cut him off then forced himself to ease down. “No, you’ve been scheduled to deliver this talk for months. No way are you going to weasel out of it and blame me.”

  Jimmy’s snort sounded half-hearted at best. “I’m not trying to weasel out of anything, you wank. I’ll give the damn speech, but if you need me, I can be there in a few hours.”

  Nic took a deep breath and tried to calm down. “I know. I guess I was just hoping… Shit, I don’t know. That maybe you’d produced a miracle. You’re usually good for one of those.”

  “Hey, I’m good, but not that good.” Humor tinged his words, underlined with concern. “Look, I have a few minutes. What’d he say this time?”

  Nic told him and waited for Jimmy to break the silence.

  “Hmm. Doesn’t sound like the first call.”

  Jimmy’s statement jolted Nic out of the fury-induced haze. “Damn, you’re right. Why the hell didn’t I notice that?”

  “Probably because you’re too pissed off to hear it.”

  “Yeah, but is it different enough to be someone else or is this guy just getting ready to hit?”

  Nic heard Jimmy’s sigh through the phone lines. “I don’t know. I take it you haven’t come up with anything yet?”

  “No.”

  “Maybe you should bring Mom in—”

  “No. No way. I’m not telling her. You know she’d tell Dad and with his heart condition, there’s no way I want him worrying about this.”

  “Yeah, but, Nic, come on. Mom’s good at this stuff. And you know how pissed she’s going to be when she finds out you hid this from her. And then she might cry.”

  Nic winced at the thought. He’d only ever seen his mother cry once—when she’d walked into his hospital room in Germany, where they’d airlifted him to from Afghanistan. “Damn it, don’t try to guilt me into anything. You know I can’t tell Mom.”

  “Then what are you gonna do?”

  “Hell if I know.”

  *

  Standing in the hallway outside Nic’s office, Annie heard Nic click off the phone and toss it onto his desk.

  She felt like a cat in a yard, unable to move for fear of being caught by the sleeping dog, knowing if she moved, he’d hear her and pounce.

  She hadn’t meant to eavesdrop. She’d been on her way to Grace’s office to drop of those piece of mail Grace had to deal with personally.

  There was no sound at all coming from Nic’s office now, no shuffling papers, no scratching pen.

  He was thinking about that phone call, the one he’d told Jimmy
about. Someone had frightened Nic. And that said a lot. She’d always believed nothing scared Nic. The man never flinched, never showed fear of any kind. Even shot and bleeding, he’d been able to drag his fatally wounded cousin out of a firefight and into a truck.

  And now he was worried about a phone call? It didn’t make sense.

  A chair creaked and Annie drew in a startled gasp. A second later, Nic stuck his head out into the hallway. His expression couldn’t have been less friendly.

  “What the hell are you doing out here? How long have you been standing there?”

  She stiffened at his tone. “Don’t you swear at me, Dominic. I work here, too, you know. I was on my way to your mother’s office.” She held up the mail. “Why? What’s going on? What’s got you so worked up?”

  Nic’s blue eyes blazed like they’d been electrified.

  “I never figured you for an eavesdropper, Andrea.”

  A blush heated her cheeks and she lowered her gaze. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I know it was a horrible breach of ethics on my part, but I couldn’t help it. Your door was open and I could hear you plain as day.” She hesitated then forced herself to go on, locking onto his gaze. “Are you in trouble?”

  For the first time since she could remember, his eyes betrayed him even as his expression went blank.

  “It’s nothing to worry about. Everything’s fine.”

  Hot anger burned in her stomach at his deliberately cold words. “Oh no, you don’t,” she surprised herself by saying. “You are not going to get away with that blank act this time. What’s going on?”

  “Nothing.” He turned to face her, leaning back on the edge of his desk, arms crossed on his chest. “It’s not your concern. Just drop it.”

  She drew in a sharp breath. Not her concern. A not-so-subtle reminder he still considered her an outsider.

  Her jaw locked in place and her eyes burned with imminent tears, which she refused to ever let him see.

  “You’re right.” She forced a brittle smile. “No problem. I’m so glad you finally told me how you really feel.”

  Turning on her heel, Annie strode down the hall before she could say the vicious words springing to her tongue, knowing she was hurt and would regret them later. She reached for her coat on the stand by the door and snagged it, uncaring that the stand wobbled drunkenly, nearly clipping her head.

  Would she never learn?

  The roar in her ears intensified as she grabbed the front door, ready to make her escape. She opened the door—and found herself spun around to face Nic, his fingers holding her firmly by the forearms.

  “You don’t have a clue, do you?” he ground out. “How the hell could you possibly not know what I think about you?”

  She wanted to kick him in the shins to get him to let go but wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of losing her temper. “You made yourself perfectly clear that I have no business being here. I think that tells me a lot.”

  Annie felt her words tumble over one another, tangling on her tongue. She could barely breathe, trying to hold in the tears. She decided to take the offensive.

  “Don’t worry. I get it. I’ll make sure to stay out of your way.”

  She stopped with a startled gasp when she saw the molten heat in his eyes.

  “Goddamn it, Annie.” His voice sounded like boots on gravel. “What the hell do you want from me? You want me to stay away? Fine. I’ll keep my distance. You want me to kiss you? That’s fine, too, because damn it, I can’t stop thinking about it. Just make up your damn mind because I can’t read it!”

  Stunned, she blinked up at a Nic she’d never seen before. He never raised his voice to her. Not ever. It was almost as if he didn’t care enough to get that worked up.

  Now, though, his expression was somewhere between anger and misery and his tone was furious.

  She took a deep breath and a big chance. “Tell me what you want, Nic. Do you want me?”

  She hadn’t meant to sound…so needy. But when something hot and dark flashed through his eyes, she acted without thinking, grabbing onto him and sinking her fingers into his rock-hard biceps. Thick muscle flexed under her fingers.

  “What the hell am I supposed to say to that? What answer isn’t going to freak you out or piss you off?” He snarled the words into her ear even as his hands fastened on her waist.

  Okay, she had to give him that one. And she didn’t know the answer to his questions. She continued to stare up at him, searching for answers in his eyes.

  What did he want?

  More importantly, what did she want?

  For the third time in less than a month, she had Nic close enough to kiss. And his proximity was melting eight years of battle.

  He must have seen something in her face because he went from furious to intent in the blink of an eye. She imagined this is what he looked like when he was about to go to war. Focused, battle-ready.

  And when he brought his mouth down to cover hers, she felt like a grenade detonated in her stomach.

  Without thought, she raised her hands to his hair, slipping her fingers into the soft black waves and holding tight. With the motion, she forced him to release her arms, and his hands arrowed straight to her hips, lifting her closer, pulling her flush against his body.

  That’s when he sank into her with a hunger that threatened to overwhelm her. His kiss sucked the breath out of her, but she refused to give in to the anger she felt simmering beneath his need. Instead, she mounted her own attack, softening and opening her lips to entice him in. When he groaned and slid his tongue into her mouth, she sucked on it.

  Dimly, she heard the rush of Friday traffic. They stood in the doorway, visible to anyone who walked or drove by. She didn’t care. Her mother could walk by at the moment and she wouldn’t even notice.

  The only thing she cared about right now was Nic. She remembered the taste of him and knew she’d been waiting for him to kiss her again. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t wanted to. It only mattered that he was.

  He kissed her like he was starved for her. His heart thudded against her chest, her feet dangling inches above the ground as he held her in his arms.

  It wasn’t until a passing taxi honked in front of the building that Nic seemed to realize where they were. He drew back, his eyes slitted and dangerous looking.

  He slid her down his body, the contact setting off flashes of desire in her belly and lower, until she stood on her own feet. He didn’t seem in any hurry to let her go.

  Then he grabbed her hands, which had fallen to his forearms, and led her into the building. He pulled her along to his office, where he sat her in the chair across from his desk then walked around to pull open a drawer.

  When he lifted a bottle and two shot glasses at her, she nodded then downed the shot he slid across the desk to her. She didn’t flinch as the tequila burned its way down her throat.

  Nic polished off his and sighed, then sat on the edge of the desk, facing her. “We have a problem.”

  She wasn’t about to agree but now came the part she dreaded. The talking.

  She cleared her throat and looked him straight in the eyes. “I understand why you might think that, but why can’t this simply be what it is?”

  Something flashed through his eyes, some flicker of doubt. Or hope. She wasn’t sure which.

  “And what do you think this is?”

  She took a deep breath. “Desire. Need. Chemistry. What do you want me to say, Nic?” She hesitated then forced the words out of her mouth. “I’ve wanted you for years. You had to know that.”

  There, that got a response. Shock, awe and desire passed over his expression before he wiped it clean. But he didn’t say anything. Instead, he reached out to feather his fingers over her lips, drawing tingles to the surface.

  “Then we really do have a problem.”

  She had no clue what he was thinking, couldn’t see beyond the heat in his eyes.

  “Tell me about your boyfriend.”

  Oh. That problem. Sh
e shook her head and his hand fell away. “There is no boyfriend. We, ah, parted ways last week.” She flashed a tight smile but didn’t break eye contact. “He wasn’t the kind of man I needed in my life.”

  Nic snorted. “And you think I am? Jesus, Annie, you know me. I’ve got a bad temper, a foul mouth and I fly off the handle. I’m closer to forty than I’ll ever be to thirty again. And you’re not even out of your twenties. You don’t need me.”

  She continued to stare, and now she was sure she saw something other than anger in his eyes. She saw want.

  “How do you know what I need, Dominic? You’ve spent the last seven years ignoring me. How could you possibly know what I need?”

  He shook his head. “I could say the same about you.” He watched her carefully, but she refused to show any weakness. “You don’t really know me.”

  “I know enough.”

  With a sigh, Nic rubbed his chin, his beard rasping and making him her shiver. “Annie—”

  She broke in before he could finish what probably wouldn’t be something she wanted to hear. “Don’t. Just don’t. If you want to forget this happened, then…fine. You don’t need to take me out for a drink to let me down easy. But don’t tell me I don’t know you or know what I want.”

  Holding his gaze, she forced herself to rise from the chair and stand in front of him, close enough to hear him swallow.

  “I know what I want. And I’m stubborn enough to get my way. You know that.”

  His lips gave a reluctant twitch. “Hell. I’ve known that since the day I met you.” Then his expression cleared again. “But I was already grown and you were still a kid. You’re not a kid anymore, but I’m still too old for you.”

  Stupid, stupid man. She wanted to hit him, lay him out flat with a right cross for being so damn steadfast. Didn’t matter that it was one of the things she lo— admired about him. He was stubborn as all hell. But it wasn’t so attractive when he used it against her.

  Time to retreat for the night. She didn’t want to go, not really, but he looked intractable and she needed to think about this some more. Without the distraction he presented.

  “I’m not a child, Dominic. And you’re not old. I’ll leave you to your secrets. For now.”