Lilly and Reed: A Kensington Family Novel

by Allie Everhart

  "Thank you again for taking me to the baseball game."

  "You're very welcome. I'm glad you had a good time."

  "Conner wondered if he could call you sometime to talk sports," I say.

  My dad chuckles. "Certainly. Whenever you'd like."

  "It's okay," Conner says, sounding nervous. "I don't want to bother you. I was just kidding."

  "You weren't kidding," I say. "And you're not bothering him."

  "You should really talk to Garret," my dad says. "He can talk sports for hours."

  I laugh. "I told him the same thing."

  "I should let you get to your dinner," Conner says. "Goodbye, Mr. Kensington. Goodbye, Lilly."

  "Bye," I tell him, then end the call.

  "So Conner called you?" my dad asks. "Or did you call him?"

  "He called me. He couldn't wait to tell me about the game. He said it was the best day ever."

  "It's a shame his father has never taken him to one before. Do you know if they do much together?"

  "They don't do anything together, unless it's some charity event Mom forces them to go to."

  "That's too bad. For some reason, I thought they had a better relationship. I knew Katherine paid little attention to Conner but I thought his father was more involved in his life."

  "He was when he was younger, but only when he had to be, like if the nanny was sick and couldn't come over. But now, Conner can take care of himself so his dad just does his own thing."

  "Connor's not that old. He still needs his father."

  I shrug. "His dad's not going to change. That's just the way he is. So we're ready to eat?"

  "Yes. Your mother's waiting for us."

  As we leave my room, he stops me. "Have you spoken to Reed?"

  "I've texted him, but not talked to him on the phone."

  "Lilly, you can't keep avoiding him."

  "I know." I sigh. "Can we not talk about this? I'm not ready to."

  He nods. "Let's go have dinner."

  As we eat, my dad and Rachel talk about some event they have to go to tomorrow. It's a luncheon and then there's something in the afternoon. I'm not really listening. My mind is on Reed and what I'm going to tell him.

  My dad is right. I can't keep avoiding Reed. This past week, I've texted him that I'm too busy to talk but he's not buying my excuse. He keeps calling me, leaving messages, asking what's wrong. He wants answers and I owe him that.

  I've had a week to think about this and I know that for the safety of myself and my family, I need to break up with Reed, but I just can't make myself do it. I love him, and want to be with him, so how do I do this? He can't know about the organization until he's a member, so he won't understand why I'm breaking up with him. I've considered waiting until he's part of it, but then I'd have to pretend this isn't ending and lie to him every day, and I can't do that either.

  This still doesn't seem real. I keep thinking I'm in a nightmare and will eventually wake up. But then images of that man holding a gun at Rachel flash in my head and I'm instantly back to reality. I saw it happen. A man almost killed Rachel, all because Reed's father told him to. He paid him to. Dean didn't even care about Rachel. He'd met her, had dinner with her, and still hired that man to kill her. Would he ever do the same to me? Would he decide he wants Reed to be with someone else and kill me to get me out of the way?

  I've had these thoughts all week. I've imagined Dean killing me, and then killing Rachel. I've had nightmares of men in dark robes without faces taking Garret, and then his two boys. It's horrible. Terrifying. And it fills me with overwhelming guilt. I can't let anything happen to my family. Which means I don't have a choice. I have to end things with Reed.

  After dinner, I'm in my room and he calls me. He's called me so many times this week I've lost count. As usual, he leaves a message. I play it back.

  "Lilly, please answer the phone. I don't know what I did to make you mad at me, but please, just call me so we can talk it out. I need to know you're okay. I need to hear your voice. I miss you. Please call me. I love you."

  I set the phone down, swallowing past the lump in my throat. I have to talk to him. I can't keep ignoring him. I pick up the phone and call him.

  He answers on the first ring. "Lilly, are you okay?"

  "Not really," I say, sniffling, as tears spill down my cheeks.

  "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

  "I need to talk to you."

  He's silent and then, "You're breaking up with me."

  I don't answer. I can't.

  "Why?" he asks softly. "What did I do?"

  This is wrong. I'm not doing this over the phone.

  "I need to see you," I tell him.

  "Just tell me if you're breaking up with me. I need to know."

  "Can we just meet somewhere and talk? Please?"

  He sighs. "Where do you want to meet?"

  "At your place. I'll come down there," I say, realizing I could sneak out while my parents are wherever it is they're going tomorrow afternoon. I know I'll get in trouble for doing this but I don't care. I need to tell Reed this in person.

  "I thought you weren't supposed to drive down here alone."

  "I'm not, but whatever. I need to see you. Your dad will be at work, right?"

  "Yeah." He pauses. "Is that what this is about? You're afraid of whatever it is my dad is involved in? Because I told you I'd stay away from him if that's what it takes to be with you. I'll move out. I'll go right now. I'll go stay with my uncle."

  "No. Reed, just stay there. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll be there in the afternoon. Goodbye."

  I end the call and he doesn't call back, which is good because I'm crying too hard to talk. Just hearing his voice made my heart ache for him. I miss him so much. How can I not have him in my life anymore? I'll see him at school and what will I do? Not speak to him? Pretend he's not there? I can't do it. I love him. If I see him, I'll want to talk to him, hug him, kiss him.

  I've considered staying with him and just not marrying him, but when I brought that idea up to Garret, he said it wouldn't work. That they would force Reed to marry someone else, a daughter of one of the members, thus ending our relationship. So again, I'm back to having no options. I have to break up with him.

  The next day I wait until my dad and Rachel are gone, then get in my car and drive to L.A.. On the way there, I try to rehearse what I'm going to say but the words don't come to me. There isn't any way to say this that will make it any easier.

  When I get there he greets me at the door, and before I can even speak, his hands cup my face and he kisses me, softly, slowly.

  "I've missed you." He breathes the words over my lips.

  "I've missed you too." I close my eyes and breathe in his scent and it instantly relaxes me. I was tense the whole drive down here, but seeing him, feeling him, calms me. Until I remember what I have to do.

  I pull back. "Let's go inside."

  He steps aside and I go past him into the apartment. Now that I'm here, I feel like I shouldn't be. I'm in Dean's apartment. Dean, the man who hired someone to kill Rachel!

  Maybe Reed and I should leave and go somewhere else, but I don't know where to go. We need to be someplace private where we won't be interrupted. We might as well stay here. At least Dean is at work.

  "Let's go in my room," Reed says, taking my hand.

  "Let's just stay here."

  "Why?"

  "I can't stay long." My eyes bounce all over the room, avoiding Reed. I can't look at him or I'll never be able to say the words.

  "Lilly, don't do this." His hand goes under my chin and he lifts my face to his. "Just tell me what's wrong and we'll work it out."

  Our eyes meet and I feel my heart cracking into pieces. "Reed." A tear slides down my cheek.

  "Shit," he whispers. "You ARE breaking up with me."

  I close my eyes, not wanting to see the hurt on his face.

  His hand tugs on mine. "Come on." He pulls me to his bedroom and closes the door.

/>   "Reed, we're not..."

  "That's not why I took you in here."

  "Then why?"

  He goes to his closet. "I was going to give this to you on our first day back at college but...here." He pulls out a large metal frame and hands it to me.

  Inside the frame are nine small paintings, all of me with different expressions. I take it over to the bed and sit down.

  "I call it the nine faces of Lilly." He laughs lightly. "Remember when we first met, and how we both said we paint emotion?"

  I nod, remembering that day. It was the first time I told anyone that. I even told Reed the reason why, which was something only my family knew.

  "I painted your emotions," he says. "Happy, sad, frustrated, angry, lonely, afraid...then I put them all together."

  I study the pictures. They're like photos but better because you can actually feel the emotion. The way Reed paints is amazing. I still don't know how he does it. How he can so accurately capture how someone feels with paint and a brush.

  "It's beautiful," I say softly. "But why? Why did you do this?"

  He sits beside me. "Because you said your mom never let you express emotion. That you were forced to hold it all inside. I guess I just wanted to show you that you're not like that anymore. Your mom doesn't have control over you. You're your own person now. You express your emotions, good or bad. And if you don't believe me, it's all right here." He points to the pictures.

  Forget about holding back the tears. I can't do it. My eyes are overflowing, tears running down my face. This is the best gift he's ever given me. It shows how well he knows me. How much he listens to me. How much he understands me.

  Last year at this time, I was struggling to break free from my mom's control. Even though she lives across the country, I still felt like she controlled me. I was afraid to show emotion because she always scolded me when I did. My earliest memories are of her yelling at me for crying. So I never did. I wouldn't cry in front of people. Or get angry. Or sad. I held it all inside, my only outlet for it being my art.

  But with Reed's help, I stopped holding it all inside. I stopped letting my mom control me. I stopped being afraid of her. It wasn't easy. I kept going back to old habits. Hiding how I felt. Pretending I was fine when I wasn't. Reed called me on it every time I acted that way, and then we'd talk. Some nights we talked for hours and wouldn't get to sleep until morning. I've never had a friend who would be there for me like that. But Reed was. He was with me through everything I went through last year and now he's captured it in his artwork. This gift means more to me than I can even express.

  "Why are you crying?" he asks, rubbing my arm. "You don't like it?"

  "I love it." I set it down. "It's perfect."

  "Then what's wrong?"

  I shake my head. "I don't want to say this."

  "Then don't." He lifts me up into his arms, setting me on his lap. "Whatever's wrong, we'll find a way to fix it. Nothing is worth ending this for, Lilly. We love each other. We understand each other. We care about each other more than anything."

  I lay my head on his shoulder, my face buried in his neck, the scent of him surrounding me, comforting me.

  "Lilly, say something." His voice is quiet, worried, sad.

  "I don't want to end this," I whisper, tears soaking his shirt.

  "Then don't," he whispers back, raising my head up to look at him. "Please don't." His eyes are pleading with me, begging me not to do this.

  If only I could tell him why. If only I could explain why I have to do this. How I don't have a choice.

  A door slams and there's loud yelling in the other room, followed by something hitting the wall.

  Reed and I both startle at the noise.

  "What the hell?" Reed says, lifting me off him. He gets up and opens his door just slightly so we can hear. It's Dean. He's the one yelling but who's with him? What if it's someone from the organization? Or one of those freelance guys who kills people?

  "Don't go out there!" I say, running up to Reed and grabbing his arm.

  "I have to see what's going on."

  "No! Don't! It could be dangerous."

  He gives me a strange look. "Why would it be dangerous?"

  "You don't know who's with him."

  "Which is why I'm going to go find out." He peels my hand off his arm. "Just wait here. I'll be right back."

  Before I can stop him, he's out the door. I stay behind, deciding to wait in his room. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe his dad is just yelling at someone on his phone.

  But then I hear a woman's voice. Some woman is out there and she's yelling right back at Dean. I can't hear what they're saying. Reed's room is at the far end of the hall, too far away for me to make out the words. I stand by the door, opening it a little. Reed is talking, his voice low and steady, like he's trying to calm his dad down.

  Something loud hits the wall.

  "No!" I hear Reed yell.

  And then a gun goes off.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Lilly

  Another shot is fired, then another after that.

  I drop to the ground, my body tensing from fear and sheer panic. The gun went off, but did it hit someone? Was someone shot? Was it Dean? Or that woman? Or...

  No. Not Reed. Please don't let it be Reed.

  "Don't touch me!" I hear the woman yell.

  "Just calm down." It's Reed voice. My body sags with relief. Thank God he's okay.

  I tense up again as my mind springs into action, realizing I have to do something. But what should I do? Call the police? What do I tell them? I don't even know what happened.

  With my phone in my hand, I quietly sneak down the hall toward the living room, stopping before I get there. Peeking my head out, I spot Reed just in front of me. And in front of him is his mom.

  His mom? What is she doing here? Last I heard she was stuck in Texas, unable to get a ride back to L.A..

  My eyes search for Dean but I don't see him. I peek my head out a little more and see him just beyond Reed's mom. He's lying on the ground, bright red blood covering his white dress shirt. I quickly pull back into the hall, hiding myself.

  "Mom, it's okay," Reed says in that calm, even tone I heard him using earlier. "We'll call Uncle Rob. He'll take care of it."

  "He won't help me!" she snaps. "He hates me!"

  I peek around the wall again. Reed's mom is on the ground, searching for something in her giant purse. The gun is on the floor by her leg.

  "Reed," I whisper.

  His head whips around. "Call the police." He mouths the words, then whispers, "Hide. Lock the door."

  I nod.

  He turns back to his mom. "Mom, what are you looking for?" He sounds completely calm, but he's not. I saw his hands shaking.

  I quietly retreat back to his room, locking the door behind me. Then I call the police, telling them someone's been shot. After that, I call my dad. My heart was already pounding but now it's going even faster, fearing how my dad's going to react.

  He takes forever to pick up and when he finally does, I just spit it out, keeping my voice down. "Dad, I'm in L.A.. At Reed's house."

  "Lilly, I told you, you are NOT to go down there alone!" He's mad. Really mad.

  "I know, but I had to talk to Reed. I couldn't do it over the phone. Dad, I can't talk about that right now. I have to tell you something."

  "Go ahead."

  "Reed and I were in his room and we heard a noise. A door slamming. It was Dean. He came home and Reed's mom was with him. They were fighting and I don't know what happened but I heard a gun go off and—"

  "Are you okay?" he asks.

  "Yes. I called the police. I'm hiding in Reed's room."

  "Where's Reed?"

  "In the living room with his mom. He's trying to calm her down. She shot Dean. More than once." I hear my voice trembling.

  "Just stay there. I'm coming to get you. Are you sure you're okay?"

  "Yes. I'm just scared. Dad, what do I do?"

  "Just sta
y where you're at. Lock the door."

  "But what should I do when the police get here? Do I tell them anything?"

  "No. Just stay out of it. You didn't see anything, right?"

  "No."

  "I'm in the car. I'm on my way. I'll be there soon."

  "Will you talk to me until they get here?" I'm shaking, afraid more for Reed than for myself. What if his mom shoots him? She seemed drunk, fumbling around on the floor, or maybe she's high on drugs.

  "I'm right here," my dad says. "I've got the phone on speaker. Go ahead and talk."

  "I don't really have anything to say. I just don't want to be alone."

  I hear the front door bang open, then men talking really loud. Reed's mom yells something at them.

  "Dad, I think the police are here."

  "Just remain where you are."

  He stays on the phone and the loud noises in the other room eventually quiet down.

  "Dad, I'm going to hang up now. I think they left."

  "I'm sure they took his mother, but there's probably still an officer there, questioning Reed."

  Just then, he knocks on the door. "Lilly?"

  "Dad, it's Reed. I have to go."

  "I'm almost there. Don't go anywhere."

  "I won't." I end the call and open the door.

  Reed's standing there, his face pale, his eyes red.

  "Are you okay?" I ask, but I know he's not.

  He pulls me into his chest and I hear him hiccup a breath. "He's dead."

  Oh my God. His dad is dead. And he saw him get killed.

  I hear Reed quietly sobbing as he holds me tighter.

  "Reed, I'm so sorry."

  "My mom shot him. She was..." He sniffles. "She was jealous he had money. She told him to give her some, and when he wouldn't, she shot him."

  "How did she get here?" I shouldn't ask these questions. He doesn't want to talk about the details. Not now. "I'm sorry. Forget I asked."

  He lets me go and takes a deep breath. "She told me some guy came into the bar where she was working and offered to give her a ride. She found a gun in his car and stole it. When she got here, she went to my dad's office and was making a scene so he left with her, just to get her out of there."