Returning Home

by Toni Shiloh

  “But, you’re always asking me why don’t I get married like Vanessa.” She wanted to pull her hair out. Who was this woman?

  “Well, of course I am, Jo Ellen. The years I had with your father were the happiest years. I want that for you as well.”

  She wiped a hand over her face, erasing the tears. This was too much. She couldn’t comprehend what her mother was telling her. She made it sound like she’d been a saint all those years and Jo knew better. “And having kids like Charlene?”

  “Grandkids from my favorite child? Need I say anymore?”

  Jo shook her head, although whether it was in response to her mother or the confusion was anyone’s guess. She couldn’t believe it. This had to be some ruse. No way would her mother actually call her the favorite. She felt like she was in the twilight zone.

  Her mother walked toward her and gestured for Jo to stand.

  Reluctantly she did, looking at her mother as if seeing her for the first time ever.

  Her mother placed her hands on Jo’s cheeks. “My mother wasn’t demonstrative. She didn’t hug and she didn’t kiss. I’m set in my ways too, so I do the same. But just so you’re not confused: I love you, Jo Ellen.”

  Her mother clumsily patted her on the cheeks. With a small smile, Victoria Baker walked back to her bed, slipping her heels off. She swung her legs under the covers and laid back down as if nothing momentous had happened.

  Jo stared, unsure of what to do with all this new information rolling around in her brain. She looked at her mother and then at the tin jewelry box. What do I do?

  She looked down at her shoes and decided to take them off. A moment later, she crawled into bed next to her mother and reached for her hand. Quietly, she began sharing her favorite memories of her parents’ anniversary.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Gradually, Evan made his way up Guy’s sidewalk. He inhaled sharply as pain shot up his left limb. He kept forgetting to call the doctor, but knew he would have to do it soon. The redness was worse and his limb had started to swell. Every movement caused his prosthetic to chafe against his skin.

  He knocked on Guy’s door, rubbing his hands together to warm up. He hadn’t seen him since the day he came to his mom’s place. He knew his friend was in a difficult stage of life, but that was no reason to sequester himself. Evan laughed at the irony of his thoughts. Fortunately, he knew better and wanted the same for Guy. Hopefully, his friend would accept his invitation to attend church or join their Bible study group. Lord, please give me the words I need.

  “Hey, man,” Guy said, opening the door and motioning Evan in.

  “How are you?” He glanced around, noting the wreckage in the living room.

  The place looked like a tornado of girls’ toys had made its way through the entire house. He looked at Guy, noticing his bloodshot eyes. The man looked like he was drowning in sorrow and exhaustion.

  “Man, I’m hanging in there. It’s been weird adjusting to life without my mother’s help. Nana Baker is wonderful though.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know what I would do without her.” He gestured around. “Sorry my place is a mess, but the girls just crashed for their afternoon nap, and I haven’t had time to clean up. Follow me to the kitchen.”

  “No worries.” He followed his friend into the kitchen, taking care with each step. “How are you dealing with everything?”

  Guy heaved a sigh as he sat down in a chair. He stared down at the floor as if deep in thought. Finally he shrugged. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

  “Fair enough. Have you started the sheriff’s position already?”

  “Yeah. It’s been interesting running into people I used to know.”

  “I hope not literally,” Evan joked.

  “Ha. No, I gave a couple of tickets to former classmates, but for the most part it’s seeing people at the grocery store and what not.”

  Evan nodded. He looked around the kitchen. Dishes were piled in the sink. The place wasn’t much cleaner than the living room. He glanced at his hands at a loss for words. Lord, please help me offer words of comfort. He cleared his throat. “Could I pray for you?” he asked cautiously.

  “No, thanks,” Guy said with an emphatic shake of his head.

  Evan chewed the inside of his lip, wondering if he should ask about church or the Bible study. But he wouldn’t know unless he tried. “So Darryl, Chloe, Michelle, Jo, and I started a Bible study to help us navigate through the Word. Would you like to join us? Maybe something in there will offer you comfort. At the very least, being around other people might help.”

  “Evan, I know you mean well, but I’m done praying, studying the Word, and all things related to God. He didn’t see fit to answer my prayers for Charlene, so I don’t really have anything to say to Him.”

  He tensed at the bitterness in Guy’s voice. What could he say to help him through this? Evan knew what it felt like to believe God had not answered your prayers. “Guy, I know how you feel—”

  “Actually, you don’t know how I feel.” Guy stood. “You’ve never seen your wife die in front of you. You’ve never had to make the decision to choose between your daughters or your wife. You’ve never had to bury a family member, let alone someone you pledged your life to. So forgive me if I don’t believe a word of what you’re saying. All I hear are mindless platitudes that make me want to—”

  His friend whirled around, rage pouring forth in a torrent of words too delicate for anyone’s ears. His shoulders shook as he slowly looked Evan’s way, careful not to look him in the face. “You know, man, I think it would be better if you just leave.”

  Evan stood up slowly, the ache of failure heavy in his chest. He didn’t want to leave like this. “Man, G, I didn’t mean to offend you. I just wanted to help.”

  “But you didn’t.” His friend motioned toward the door with his head.

  He stared at Guy. His eyes had gone cold, the irises melding perfectly into the black of his eyes. Evan didn’t want to leave but if he stayed, a fight might break out. He would just have to continue praying for his friend and to keep showing up in his life. He couldn’t let Guy believe he’d been forsaken.

  As Evan turned, a sharp pain shot up his leg. He cried out, a wave of dizziness washing over him. He tried to still himself, but the pain was too great. Vaguely, he realized Guy was calling out to him, but he couldn’t make out the words. Instead, the black oblivion enveloped him in its snare.

  HUMMING TO HERSELF, Jo pushed the paint roller up and down. The cream color would add the perfect complement to the maroon colored washer and dryer. Evan’s laundry room would look absolutely perfect. Even though Evan no longer used his wheelchair, he wanted to keep the extra space in the room.

  She let the sounds of her iPad wash over her as Wynton Marsalis’ trumpet crooned in her ear. Life was finally looking up. Since the day she heard the Lord speaking to her during her run, Jo had become firmer in her belief that God truly loved her. Her mother had seemed to soften toward her as well. No longer did she have to duck her phone calls. Besides, didn’t God ask for her to honor her parents? It was time she did her part and stop complaining about those who didn’t do theirs.

  In a steady rhythm her arm went up and down, the color showing up smoothly in the path of the paint roller. Jo stepped back, surveying her handiwork. Hopefully, Evan would be pleased with the renovations. With her work.

  With me.

  Although they’d had a few setbacks, the rest of the renovations were going smoothly. Soon, Evan could move in and enjoy life as a homeowner. She smiled, remembering when they’d shopped for plates. She had found the perfect set in aqua. He hadn’t batted an eye when she suggested it. And she had to withhold how much it pleased her when he had agreed with her suggestions.

  At first, she’d tried to get him to seek Chloe’s advice for furnishings and overall décor; after all, the girl was an interior designer. But he’d seemed a little put out. She remembered how the lines around his mouth dragged his lips
downward.

  “Evan, I’m not trying to pawn you off on someone else. However, Chloe does make her living picking the right furnishings for a space. She takes in mind all the colors you have in the walls and the floors, et cetera. I’m really not that knowledgeable.”

  Jo had been exaggerating a little bit, but really, Chloe had her own business, why not seek her advice? She remembered laughing and hoping that it soothed the wounded look on his face. He had smiled back at her, but it was forced. Could it be he wanted her opinion for a different reason?

  She shook her head. Surely not. They’d only been on one date and kissed that time in the kitchen. Then again, they did hold hands when they went shopping. The feel of his hand pleased her more than she’d let on. He made her feel safe. The hairs on her arms stood up at the memory. Her body vibrated with awareness.

  Wait a minute, that’s your cell, Jo girl.

  She pulled out her earbuds and answered the phone.

  “Jo, it’s Guy.”

  “Hey, what’s up?” she frowned at the sadness in his voice. Would he ever sound happy again?

  “I’m at the hospital in the city.”

  “What are you doing there?” And why was he telling her? “Wait, is my Nana okay?”

  “Yes, she’s fine.”

  Relief flooded through her and her shoulders sagged.

  “But Evan’s not.”

  “Wait, what?” A roar filled her ears as her heart picked up speed.

  “He was over at my house, and he passed out. He was feverish, so I called for an ambulance. They rushed him to Freedom Lake and the doctors there had him transferred to the city hospital.”

  “What’s wrong with him?” She gripped the phone, afraid it would crumble in her grip. He has to be okay.

  “They don’t know. They’re doing a bunch of testing. His mother is here, and Evan asked me to contact you.”

  “Okay, I’m on my way.” She dropped the paint roller and ran out the back door, barely remembering to grab her parka.

  God, it’s me again. Jo. Please don’t let something happen to Evan. Please, let him be okay, please!

  She couldn’t lose someone else. She just couldn’t. They were just on the brink of something wonderful. The ease in which she could talk to him made her feel valued and cared for. Never had someone watched her with such attentiveness. Evan made her feel special, because he was special. What would she do if something was seriously wrong? She sniffed, and she realized tears were coursing down her face.

  As she drove to the city, worry ate at her. She wished she knew some Scripture to calm her, but she didn’t. She didn’t even know if Freedom Lake had a Gospel or Christian radio station. So she talked to God as if He were in the seat right next to her. Somehow, the action—which would seem insane to most—kept her sane.

  “Lord, please make him better. I don’t know what’s wrong, but please let the doctors figure it out. Let it be curable or easy to fix. Whatever it is. And please, please,” she pleaded, gripping the steering wheel in her gloved hands, “please let his spirits remain high. Don’t let him spiral into that anger and depression he had when he returned home. It seems like he just overcame it.”

  Fear gripped her. Thankfully, the signs for the Emergency Department soon popped up. She followed the directions toward the parking garage. Guy had told her they were in the emergency room, but she had never been to this hospital. If it weren’t for the red signs, she would have been lost. After parking she headed inside, slowing to a brisk walk when she spotted the nurses’ station.

  She gripped the counter. “What room is Evan Carter in?”

  The older woman sitting behind the desk peered over her eyeglasses. “Are you family?”

  Jo bit her lip. She didn’t want to lie, but she wanted to know how he was doing.

  “Jo!”

  She whirled around at the sound of her name. Guy motioned for her from the other end of the hallway. She dashed toward him, worry clogging her throat. God, please let him be okay. It didn’t register that she didn’t say ‘Amen’ or mention who she was. They had been talking ever since she’d left Evan’s house. There was no need to end her prayer. She’d finally understood the concept of “praying without ceasing.”

  “How is he? Where is he? Can I see him?”

  Guy lowered his hand. “Calm down. He’s stable. He wanted me to come get you and bring you to his room. This way,” he gestured down the hall.

  The litany of “please, heal him,” played over and over in her head until she entered his room. His mother looked up with red rimmed eyes.

  Please, don’t let him be dying.

  Jo turned to look at Evan and her heart stopped. He looked so weak with an IV hooked up though the vein in his arm. His six-foot frame was dwarfed by the hospital bed. She smiled, hoping he wouldn’t notice the way her lips quivered. She didn’t know how she managed to hold back the tears. All she knew was that she had to be strong for him.

  His face looked wan, the chocolate tone of his skin had lost its luster. But the smile he gave her filled her with relief. If he could smile, all would be okay, wouldn’t it?

  “Hey JoJo.”

  “Hey, Ev.” She tried to say it in a light tone, but the barely suppressed sob probably gave her away. She gulped. “What’s going on? What happened?”

  Evan closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them slowly. “I’ve been feeling some pain in my left leg. It’s red, and I thought it was just part of the adjustment period.”

  “It’s not?” She gazed into his eyes, praying he wasn’t going to make light of a bad situation. She needed to know the truth of whatever ailed him.

  “The doctor thinks I may be allergic to one of the materials in the prosthetic.”

  She walked around the other side of the bed to sit next to him. Mrs. Carter gave her a brief smile, from the other side. Jo looked at Evan. “So, what does that mean?”

  “Well, they have to do allergy testing and depending on what they discover, I will either have to get a new prosthetic or I may not be able to wear any of them.”

  What?

  How would he feel to have to depend on the wheelchair all over again? He had been so excited about driving and being able to do things on his own. She knew how much Evan valued his independence. Lord, please don’t take it from him.

  “Have they started the testing? What can I do to help?”

  His eyes lit up and he gave her the most gorgeous smile she had ever seen. Her heart tripped and fell right into love.

  “Just pray for me, Jo.” He grabbed her hand and kissed it.

  The tears that had been threatening an entrance since she got to the hospital made their way down her face. “I haven’t stopped praying since I got the call.”

  “Then you’ve done enough.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Evan wiped away the tears from Jo’s face. He was so proud of her. He knew that trusting in God was difficult for her, but the fact that she’d prayed for him made his heart swell with love. He knew they’d only been on one date, but apparently that was enough for his heart.

  He wanted to beg her to love him and not leave him. Now he understood what his mother meant. What he felt for Brenda paled in comparison with his feelings for Jo. Could he handle it if she walked away too?

  A knock sounded, startling him from his contemplations. He looked away from Jo and stared as the dermatologist, Dr. Benson, walked in the door.

  “How are you feeling, Mr. Carter?”

  “Better now that the pain meds kicked in, Doc.”

  “I’ll bet.” He held up some paperwork. “Got the results from your lab tests. It confirms my prognosis of an allergy to the material. The antibody test they conducted is positive. The count is pretty high. I know wearing a prosthesis is new for you and that’s why you didn’t contact your prosthetist sooner; however, you should always err on the side of caution. Your contact dermatitis is severe.”

  He gulped. Why had he been so foolish? He should have call
ed the moment he started noticing the redness. And this contact dermatitis was the reason it had been so painful to wear the prosthetic lately. He’d let his pride rule. In searching for independence, he had become dependent on the prosthetic.

  “It’ll be a few days before you can go home. We need to make sure the leg starts healing and that there is no damage from the allergy.”

  Evan nodded, still too stunned to speak.

  “Visiting hours end at eight, please be sure to leave before then.” The doctor pointed to Jo, Guy and Mrs. Carter.

  “Thank you, Doc.”

  “Not a problem. I’ll stop by tomorrow. We’ll do some patch testing of common allergens and also add in the materials your prosthesis is made of to determine the specific allergy.”

  “Thank you so much, Dr. Benson,” his mother said. She shook his hand as she dabbed at her eyes. His mother had been sniffling since she’d arrived at the hospital.

  “Hey man, I’m going to let you get some rest.” Guy looked at him. He could tell from his expression that he was sorry about their earlier conversation.

  “Thanks for getting me here, G.”

  “Of course. That’s what friends do, right?” Guy looked at him expectantly.

  Evan smiled at him, hoping to reassure him that he wasn’t angry. Relief flooded his friend’s eyes. Guy waved and left.

  “Well, I’m going to mosey on out too, son. Your dad will want to have a chance to see you before eight o’clock comes.”

  “Okay, tell him not to rush.”

  His mother laughed, relief turning the sound light and airy. “I will. Plus, I’m sure you two want some privacy.” She waggled her fingers between him and Jo.

  Evan glanced at Jo just in time to see her cheeks turn a rosy shade.

  “I can leave and get Mr. Carter for you, Mrs. Carter.”

  “Now Jo Ellen, I told you to call me Marilyn. But don’t worry. I haven’t seen my son smile so much since he started talking to you, so I’ll be the one to leave.”