Official Intelligent Beings: How Our Devices Became Us, And The World Consumed Itself

by Greenfield, Josh

  After a few minutes of being unable to navigate his way on his own like everyone else around him, he turned to his device’s location system, directing him towards home as though he was on auto-pilot.

  Had this been any other day, he would not have noticed the sea of people, all the same, walking like zombies in the direction the little electronic voice inside of their head told them to go. Had this been another day, he would not have fallen slightly off of his device’s directional course home.

  As he walked, he began to talk up a new Quack.

  What would you do if you were given information that could shake up the world? Would you share that information? What if everything that you once thought that you knew, everything that you held so dear, so close, what if that was taken away from you? Would you even notice? Would you feel a huge shift in your life? Would you fight for what is yours? Do you even know how to fight? Do you have any control in this world?

  Jagz pressed send, but instantly wished he had not.

  Was it too much? he thought.

  With panic coursing through his mind, he asked his device to re-read what he had written, hoping he hadn’t taken it too far. After all, he wasn’t ready to share what he had just seen with Mr. Herd. Not now. Not ever.

  He began to feel fuzzy after hearing his previous Quack, thinking that he really did go to far. It was a bit unlike him. He wished that he could take it back. He thought of what his followers might say—that he had lost it, that they liked his old Quacks better. It was too much for him to handle on top of everything else going on. He started to panic.

  He felt a small speck of water drop from his forehead and slowly make it’s way down his nose, and into his mouth. Was it rain? No, he thought. In an instance he had the notion to reach into his pocket. He began digging deep, frantically searching, hoping to find one pill, as if by magic. No luck.

  The world around him started to shutter. He moved like a wave, from side to side. His vision duplicated. Where does the world start and where does it end? he wondered in confusion as he desperately tried to keep his balance.

  Jagz lost his footing. He couldn’t keep a tight grip on the ground. Just as he began to collapse, he bumped into someone.”

  “Oh my. How clumsy of me,” she replied, nervously looking away. “I’ve got a lot going on today and I just didn’t see you. Silly me.”

  She slowly turned to look at him, as if the world was in slow motion, as if there was no moment but this one. Their eyes locked. Jagz’s eyes went wide. Life instantly sprang back into him and the world was at peace again.

  She was an inch or two shorter than he was, her hair was a long strawberry blonde with some natural waves of brown tied up in a bun on the top of her head, with braided strands of an aquatic ocean blue falling down her face. Her eyes were like blue-green gems carved from the natural movements of the world, her skin with smooth, she had a slender waste, a perfectly curved bottom and a round and firm but relaxed chest.

  For a brief moment, he wondered if he found the pills after all. Peace spread throughout his being. He had not looked at anyone just for the sake of looking, or meaningfully gazed into someone’s eyes, for as long as he could remember. Until this very moment he felt more comfortable seeing everyone through a screen, but not her, she took his breath away.”

  Momentarily, having his confidence rebooted into him, he let out a phrase that seemed to have come from outer space, “It takes two to tango…”

  “Tango! I love tango! All good music really! And dancing! It’s the only way that I can really stay connected to the world around me.”

  “Dancing? People still do that?”

  She simply smiled back at him and said, “are you okay? You look as if you’ve just seen a spirit.”

  “Well, lets just say it’s been a crazy day and my mind has been elsewhere.” Jagz began to fall back into himself.

  “Anywhere but here sounds nice. I like crazy. “By the way, I’m Shera.”

  “Oh, I’m Jagz, and as much as I want to apologize for bumping into you and nearly knocking you over, I’m beginning to feel as though I’m not sorry at all,” he said, his confidence building once again.

  Shera smiled even wider, her eyes were like two perfectly formed ever changing green crystals, with infinite depth and absolute beauty. “You are just a big ball of funny! Did anyone ever tell you that?”

  “People don’t tell me all that much these days, not unless they are responding to one of my Quacks.”

  “Oooh! You have a Quacker account? What is your name? I’ll follow you!” She said with some real excitement.

  He hadn’t felt such excitement from a person in his entire life. He noted the feeling, he liked the feeling, he cerebrally recorded it on his device. It might even make for a good piece of content someday he thought.

  “@JazzIsDead” he replied.

  “Jazz is dead? Who is Jazz?”

  Just as she spoke, two chimes sounded simultaneously. One on Shera’s device, alerting her that her internal voice command successfully followed Jagz’s account, and the from Jagz’s device alerting him of a new follower.

  “My usage name is NaWonStay, but I’m just getting started. I mostly use it to read other people’s Quacks and collect information.”

  “What do you collect it for?”

  “I like to take the information and look for patterns, try to find links between everyone, find what unifies us, what separates us, and what makes us feel alone. I know most people feel unified, but clearly not all of us do. It’s just a hobby that I have been keeping between my day and night jobs. I didn’t think people would want to read my Quacks, so I have found other ways to enjoy to connect, to relate.”

  “I used to think the same thing, that no one was interested in hearing what I had to say. But I shared my thoughts anyhow and, funny enough, over time, more and more people started to respond. As it turns out, there are a lot of people out there who connect with what I feel. I learned to be comfortable with who I was, to not hide from what was inside. You should give it a try. You’d be surprised what might happen.”

  She began to blush as a smile formed on her face. She turned her head to the left to keep her rapidly blinking eyes out of his view and said, “you know, the things you say are funny in a sort of profound way. We should be friends. Yes. It has been decided.”

  “Friends?” said Jagz. “But we are friends. You just friended me on Quacker.”

  “See, there you go again with your jokes. No, I mean like real friends silly—in the physical dimension. Hello. Earth to Jagz!”

  An actual friend? Jagz thought. He almost forgot that they existed. What would that really mean? What would they do? All of his, and just about anyone else’s, interactions were through a screen. It was just easier that way. Somehow, it felt a little less real, a little safer. Speaking with and spending time with someone in person felt unsettling, at best, he thought.

  But then again, thinking about speaking with her, speaking with the others from today, the secretary at Unified Webworks, Mr. Herd, hell, he even spoke face to face with an Alien! And what’s more, he had thoughts that he wasn’t so eager to share with his Quacker following. But if he couldn’t share everything with them, then who would he turn to? It was all too much. He had to get out of there and take some UrDg. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had with her at that very moment and he didn’t want to risk losing it.

  “I must be getting back to work. Or to something. Yes, work, that’s what I was doing before I was contacted,” said Jagz as though he forgot what he was trying to say.

  “Contacted? What do you mean? By whom?”

  “Oh, it doesn’t matter,” said Jagz, trying to think of a way to change the subject. He wasn’t ready to share what he had heard with anyone, let alone a stranger. However, he did feel as though she knew him more than anyone had before. “Besides, I forgot my UrDg, so I must be getting home.”

  “You still take that stuff? I’ve got something way better. Are yo
u hungry?” she said. “I have this great meal combination that I’m just dying to share with someone!”

  “I suppose I could experience some food right now. Come to think of it, I don’t think I had time for breakfast,” Jagz said as he remembered that he was promised some real food, but either ran out too quickly or it was just bait to get him to come to Unified Webworks.

  Jagz and Shera walked together through a park, past all of the others who were mindlessly walking the path that their device laid out for them.

  “Look at everyone. So tapped in, completely consumed by their interweb actions, so oblivious to the world around them. You know, I bet they’d walk off of a cliff if their device told them to,” said Shera.

  Jagz let out a short and awkward, but genius laugh, considering he had not laughed authen-tically in a long time.

  They continued walking, Shera guiding Jagz effortlessly without depending on her device. He trusted that she knew where they were going. He wasn’t one for ignoring his device, but he managed to find the mute button and was able to focus on something other than himself as he strolled down the street, taking in the world around him.

  After a few minutes, Shera spotted a street that she said led to the heart of the park, although park wasn’t necessarily the right way to describe what it was, it was really just the small amount of greenery left in a city laid deep with electronics.

  They walked through a row of beautifully placed trees, so perfectly aligned, so wonderfully identical that someone from another time might have misjudged them for something entirely different than actual forest life. Side by side, they strolled without a care in the world.

  Jagz, assuming that they were simply passing through the park and heading downtown to her home, got more and more confused as they walked deeper into the woods.

  “I didn’t know people lived in the forest,” joked Jagz.

  “There’s a lot that you probably don’t know. But I won’t judge you for it,” said Shera with a sarcastic smile.

  As they approached a row of lush bushes that seemed impossible to pass, Shera unexpectedly grabbed Jagz’s hand and pulled him through.

  Leaves engulfed them as they pushed deeper and deeper through the thick brush. Just as it seemed that they were completely surrounded, and lost in a sea of green, Shera spotted the opening she was searching for and pulled Jagz through to an open clearing.

  “What is this place?”

  “Take a seat on the ground and try to relax,” said Shera in a soothing voice as though prepping him for a meditation.

  “Relax? I’ve never sat on the ground before. Are you sure it’s okay?”

  “Oh Jagz, you are really too funny. Some of the things you say… Are you an alien or something?”

  “An alien? Yeah, funny,” Jagz tried not to show any sign of how odd of a moment, of all moments, it was to call him an alien.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m just playing around.”

  She reached around for her backpack, opened the latch, and pulled out what appeared to be an orange ball of some sort. It was bright, round, and vibrantly colorful. As she guided it towards him, he noticed a faint, but intensifying fragrance. A smell unlike anything he had encountered. The smell, almost too powerful to comprehend, forced Jagz to turn away.

  “Lunch is served!” She peeled back what now appeared to be a ball of multiple layers.

  “What the? What is that?” said Jagz.

  “Huh? Do you really mean to tell me you have no idea what this is? Wait, wait, you have never had any real food before have you? Wow. And I thought I was weird. Here. Close your eyes and open your mouth.”

  Jagz hesitated.

  “Come on now. Don’t be shy.”

  He first looked at her a little confused, but, out of nowhere, a wave of trust washed over him at the sight of her smiling eyes and he gently closed his own and opened his mouth. He heard what seemed to be liquid of some sort squirting faintly nearby and, just as he was about to open his eyes, felt a strange sensation on his lips.

  Shera slowly put the mysterious object in his mouth, first rubbing it gently on his lips, allowing it to caress his tongue as the fragrance wafted towards his nostrils. Once she fit the whole thing in his mouth, she told him to bite down.

  As his teeth sank in to the mysterious object, he was met with a burst of excitement, which was almost too much to handle. Jagz started to cough, but caught himself, slowly chewing on the magical delight in his mouth. Once he swallowed, he opened his mouth again, hoping for more. He couldn’t get enough. He was in paradise.

  “Okay,” she said. “You can open your eyes now.”

  “Wow. Just wow. What in web’s name was that?”

  “It’s an orange, Jagz,” said Shera, as though it was obvious.

  “An orange? Sure, I’ve tasted an orange on my Chook, granted I have never had one on it’s own, but I have never had anything like that, nothing with so much life, pureness in taste, so much excitement, so much joy. Real food. That was magic!

  “I knew you’d love it! And there’s more.”

  “Where did you get it?”

  “Oh, I have my ways. A gal can’t share all of her secrets on the first date.”

  “First date? Oh, I had no idea.”

  “Relax, silly. I’m just messing with you. Besides, if we went on a date I would hope you would pick the place.”

  Jagz pondered this, A date. A real date. He knew she wasn’t talking about inter-web dating, where two or more people shared a holographic experience as though they were eating, drinking, seeing, and feeling the same thing all together. He knew she wasn’t referring to hypnocyberactive webrelations, an activity common amongst those looking for intimate sexual pleasure in a safe and controlled simulated stimulation.

  No, she was not referring to either of those things, but to real dating, something almost unspeakable. Most humans had no need to go on real dates, with the undoing of families and pregnancy now that humans were birthed in perfect order thanks to the Intelligent Beings, dating and sexual relationships were of no interest to most people.

  Everyone had their sensory food experiences and their sensory sexual experiences—far better than the real thing, why else would it be all but obsolete?

  Then it hit him. Why did that orange taste so good? Why did such a simple thing satisfy him more than the best and most complicated meals byte bills could buy? He thought for a moment, shrugged, and then went in for another bite.

  “I want you to lay in the grass,” Shera said. “There is something I want to try with you.”

  Jagz, ready for anything after that taste of perfection, quickly laid flat on his back, unaware of how strange it might look from the outside. Not that anyone was ever looking, anyhow.

  “Okay, good. Now I want you to close your eyes again. But this time you won’t be experiencing food, you will be experiencing your breath.”

  Shera scrolled through her device, located her music sharelist, wirelessly linked her device into Jagz’s, and put on calming classical music. It began to play instantly in both of their ears. She then got on her back, closed her eyes, and began silently praying, her lips just barely moving.

  “I want you to imagine you are floating in the clouds. I want you to slowly breathe. Deep breathes, in and out, in and out, as slow as you can. Be sure to fill your entire body on the inhale and release it all on the exhale. Keep doing that over and over and over.”

  Jagz, so accustomed to sleep, fell into a deep trance as Shera’s voice moved from an outside source to an internal peace.

  Jagz became slowly aware that he was floating. Floating in the clouds, flying gently towards a beautiful sun over the horizon, drawing him closer and closer. As he floated, he felt at peace, gently heading towards the bright yellow light. Just then, he started to notice that the clouds were taking shape. As they developed, he began to see distinct body parts. These were body parts that he had never seen up close, they were unusually majestic, tight, smooth, and in perfect balance.


  He saw a cloud take the shape of a beautiful pair of breasts, he saw a woman’s body begin to form from another cloud and, before he knew it, he was floating through a sea of clouds of naked woman, all with faces that were constantly shifting into different forms, all of their bodies perfectly smooth, round, and fit.

  Then, in a flash of light, the figures around him were gone and he was faced with an even more beautiful figure, a figure of such beauty that he could not register the full breadth of her perfection. She appeared to him as more of a wave of endless possibilities than a finite being, even still, Jagz felt a sense of familiarity to her form and began to suspect who she was.

  “Yes,” she said, as if reading his mind. “I am Tideorpha, your Official Intelligent Being of Love. I am the one who helped the world’s people to find true love in their lives, to find a sense of love within themselves, within all of those around them. For there is no love but the love of all and when one is able to see that, one can truly be at peace with oneself.”

  “But what does it mean to love one person more than anyone else? I have always known of the knowledge that you gifted us but I am beginning to see a new possibility.”

  “The idea of having one true love is a thing of the past. A mistake made by your ancestors before we came to show you the way. Having only one true love creates the idea of separation within oneself; it causes a rift in the subconscious. It is this repressed issue that has led your ancestors to struggle for so many years, searching for, fighting for, and even killing to have one that they can call their own.”

  “Killing? But how can that be?”

  “It was a paradox. Trying to love someone more than one’s self was a trap. Trying to love one above all else only created chaos within the spirit. It is not natural and gives a false sense of hope that only lasts a short while, always ending in a broken heart, at best. That is why we have shed the light on you. To remind you that your sexual desires, that your love for one, that your love for lust will only haunt you. It may find you some temporary enjoyment but you will only become more and more disconnected to those around you and it will leave you feeling disjointed and more alone than you could ever imagine.