Blaze

by Christa Tomlinson

  “You could stay out here and keep working, but your eyes are glowing and I don’t think that’s something your employees or your customers need to see.”

  “Damnit,” Jordan swore softly. He immediately lowered his head, looking at the ground to hide his eyes. He kept his head down as he put the paint gear away and walked to the elevator. Nina followed him in.

  “What’s going on?” she asked as soon as the doors slid closed.

  “I met someone.”

  “That’s great! You’ve been alone for what? Three — nearly four years now? A new relationship will be good for you.”

  Jordan stepped out of the elevator and headed for the kitchen. He needed another cup of coffee. “It’s not great. Just because I met someone doesn’t mean I can be with them.” Frustration made his movements abrupt and clumsy as he set up the machine to make enough coffee for the both of them, and he spilled grounds on the counter. “I can’t be his boyfriend while I’m secretly running around at night as Blaze,” he said as he swiped a damp dish cloth over the mess.

  “Then don’t.”

  “You know I won’t stop being Blaze. I owe it to the community to do what I do.”

  “And to Travis?”

  The name fell between them, heavy as a lead balloon.

  “Of course, I owe it to him,” Jordan said as he watched the drip, drip, drip of brown liquid into the pot.

  “Jordan, you’re my favorite cousin. You know that. And I will always grieve my big brother. But how long are you going to let your grief and guilt rule your life?”

  He didn’t have an answer for her. He hadn’t had an answer the last time she’d asked either.

  Nina sighed. “I know you won’t stop being Blaze. What I meant was don’t keep your other side a secret from this guy. Be upfront and tell him about it instead of trying to hide it from him.”

  “No. I’m not doing that again.” He’d tried twice before. The first time, he’d immediately lost the trust of his submissive. The second lead to a deliberate betrayal. Memories of a handsome face, its expression changing from surprised to interested, and later turning laughing and cruel crowded into his head while a voice whispered that he was too violent. He clenched his jaw and forced the memories back. “I’ll end it with him tonight.”

  “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

  Determined to put his life back on its old familiar track, Jordan nodded. “Absolutely sure. I’ll go see him and let him know it’s over between us.” He imagined looking into those big brown eyes and telling Danny it was over. There was no way he could pull that off — he’d fold like a wet noodle. “I’ll call him and tell him,” he amended.

  Nina shook her head, disappointment on her pretty brown face. “You’re going to end up alone if you keep pushing everyone away.”

  “That’s the plan,” Jordan said, putting an end to their conversation.

  ***

  The road to hell was paved with good intentions.

  The proverb ran through Jordan’s mind as he watched Danny, dressed only in white briefs, slowly drift to his knees. He’d had every intention of breaking things off with him. He’d actually managed to pick up the phone and make the call, fully intending to tell him their time together was at an end.

  However, before he could lead the conversation in that direction, Danny had shyly apologized for climaxing the previous night. Of course, Jordan had rushed to assure him he’d done nothing wrong, and somehow by the end of the call, they’d made plans to meet again. His complete lack of will power when it came to staying away from Danny would be hilarious if there wasn’t so much potential for things to go horribly wrong.

  “Good. That’s good. You’re gorgeous posed this way. Perfect.” Too perfect. Danny was everything he wanted. Some Doms liked the challenge of a brat. But Jordan wanted a submissive who was soft and gentle. He wanted someone to care for and spoil, someone who would greet him with hugs when he came home, and would cuddle beside him at night.

  Night. That one word was a cold splash of water on his desires. His nights were otherwise occupied, with little time for cuddles. Why did he have such a hard time remembering that?

  “Thank you. I’ve been practicing liked you told me to.”

  As Danny stared up at him, soft brown irises sparkling, Jordan had to remind himself that he was only training. No matter how adoringly Danny looked at him, this angel wasn’t his. “It will please your Dom that you have such excellent posture.”

  “Would it please you?” Danny asked softly.

  “Yes.” It was a battle to keep his voice cool and impersonal. “If I were to ever take a submissive, it would please me that he was so well trained.”

  “I’m looking forward to pleasing my Dom one day.” Danny’s dark eyes fell to the area of Jordan’s dick before he lowered his lashes to look at the floor.

  Jordan’s cock immediately stiffened at the shy, yet heated glance. Fucking hell. He needed to get Danny off his knees before he unzipped and gave him what he was clearly asking for. He held a hand out, helping Danny to his feet when he accepted it. “Tonight, we’re going to try light impact play to see how you like it.” Danny blinked once at the abrupt change before he nodded.

  “Okay.”

  He waited for Danny to ask how and where but he simply watched Jordan expectantly, waiting for instruction. Fuck, he was so perfect. “Stand here, hands on the table.” While Danny moved into position, Jordan retrieved a suede flogger from the bag he’d brought with him that evening. He prepped Danny on what to expect, showing him the flogger. The strips had faux rabbit fur on one side and suede on the other, which would give Danny different sensations during the spanking. And then, because apparently he was a masochist, he asked a question. “Do you want the full effect of the whip on your skin?”

  “I want everything.”

  “All right, then. Pull your briefs down.”

  Danny obeyed, tucking his fingers into the waistband of the pristine white underwear to drag them down and tuck them beneath his cheeks.

  With the briefs off, Jordan’s eyes feasted on the vision in front of him — two perfectly rounded curves with a dark crease between them. Seeing that gorgeous ass completely naked for the first time had him biting back a groan as his cock stiffened even more. He wanted to take Danny over his lap, toss the flogger aside, and spank him with his bare hand so he could feel the plump ass cheeks under his palm.

  Closing his eyes, Jordan ignored his throbbing dick and focused on hardening his resolve. This would not be a repeat of the other night. He would maintain trainer-trainee separation.

  To get started, he swung loose and easy, giving Danny the lightest of warm-up strikes. Danny shifted once, but didn’t otherwise react. After a few strikes, he stopped to check-in. “How was that?”

  “I like it.”

  “Use your safe word if it hurts in a way that makes you uncomfortable,” he reminded him.

  “I will.”

  Danny was clearly fine, so Jordan continued. He swung with a little more emphasis, the suede strips landing with a soft thwack. Danny gasped and wiggled his hips at the more forceful blow.

  “Still good?”

  “Yeah.”

  Now Jordan really got to work. The flogger was one of his favorite tools to use and he applied it with a skill that hadn’t seen the light of day in nearly three years. Sharp quick slaps that made the little sub gasp and go up on his toes. Soft sweeps of the fur side that earned him moans that were just as soft. Jordan used the flogger on Danny’s thighs, and carefully on his upper back. But his focus stayed on Danny’s ass — it was made for spankings like this.

  He struck out hard and Danny bounced up on his toes, then rocked back on his heels, the movement making his cheeks jiggle. Jordan waited to see if that had been too hard. But Danny slowly rolled his head on his shoulders, a low, purring moan slipping from his throat.

  “Again. Need it,” he said in a husky whisper.

  He gave him a few more sharp stri
kes, then let one of the tails drag up the shadowed valley between his cheeks. The move was probably on the other side of the line he’d drawn but it was one slip. Harmless.

  Danny shivered. “Oooh! I — I like that.”

  With arousal humming in his veins, Jordan’s voice deepened to a low growl when he spoke. “I bet you’d like it even more if I spread you open and spanked your tight hole.” Dirty talk was probably on the other side of that line too but fuck it. There was nothing wrong with a trainer speaking to their submissive.

  “I- Yes! Do it!”

  Jordan spanked him again. “You don’t give the commands little sub.”

  “I’m sorry, Sir.”

  “Did I give you permission to call me Sir?”

  “No.”

  “But you want to.”

  Danny hesitated before he looked over his shoulder and answered. “Yes.”

  “Eyes forward, baby.” Another slip. “I’ll tell you when you can call me Sir. Understand?”

  “Yes, Jordan.”

  Jordan’s cock, already hard, stiffened and throbbed when Danny said his name like that. It sounded so perfectly submissive, as if Danny was ready to carry out any sensual order Jordan decided to give him. But he wouldn’t be giving any orders tonight that didn’t involve him standing still and taking the sweet torture he doled out.

  He restarted his strikes, applying them in rapid succession, pushing Danny to the line between pleasure and pain, but never going past it. His only goal was making Danny feel good. And going by the way Danny trembled and moaned at each slap of suede on his skin, he was having great success.

  Danny bent over more, spreading his legs slightly. The briefs, previously caught high on his thighs, slipped down to the floor, and the new position let Jordan see Danny’s balls hanging between his legs. Every time Jordan spanked him, Danny rocked forward, and they swayed with the movement. His own balls tightened at the sight. Jordan reached down to adjust himself, squeezing them once, and wishing he could do the same to Danny’s.

  They hadn’t touched skin to skin but the anticipation for sex, the rich gorgeous scent of it bloomed in the room. And Danny’s moans and Jordan’s deep breaths and the slap of the flogger made it sound like they were having sex. “You want more?” he asked in a voice gone completely deep and raspy from arousal.

  “Yes, please. Don’t stop.”

  Jordan could tell by the tremble in Danny’s voice that he was close to climax. At that realization, a dark possessive thrill ran through his veins. His flogger, his strikes had his little sub about to come. He moved closer, spanked Danny once, then again. Then he paused, the flogger dangling in his hand.

  That luscious ass and reddened skin was so tempting, too tempting. All he could think about was how easy it would be to unzip, free his cock, and press inside. He stepped even closer. Danny would let him fuck him. No. Not just let him. Danny would beg for his cock. All Jordan had to do was drop the limit he’d imposed on himself and he could be inside Danny, fucking him until they were both on the edge of bliss.

  “Jordan, please.” Danny arched his back, raising his ass higher.

  He heard the plea through a fog of lust. Was Danny begging for his cock or the whip? He didn’t know. Jordan looked down at the flogger, noting that his hand shook. In that moment, he knew he’d lost control of the scene. So, he did the only thing he could do.

  “Red.”

  At that word, the universal call to stop a scene, Danny whipped his head around to look over his shoulder, brows drawn together in confusion.

  “I need to call this off,” Jordan said in answer to the unspoken question.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I’m sorry but I can’t continue this tonight.”

  Worry joined the confusion on Danny’s face. “Did I do something wrong?”

  “No. You were amazing. You’re a natural at this. The problem is mine.”

  Without saying another word, Jordan got started on after care. He was thorough in his ministrations but he didn’t linger as he usually did. He helped Danny redress, and thirty minutes later they were in his Camaro pulling up to Danny’s house. They were silent as they went up the walk. But once they reached the front door, Danny turned to Jordan. Confusion swirled in his gaze, and sadness pulled the corners of his mouth down into a frown.

  “I know Doms can call off scenes too but I still feel like I did something wrong.”

  Jordan immediately set aside his own issues so that he could reassure Danny. “I swear that you did nothing wrong. This is all on me.” He brought both hands up to gently cradle Danny’s face, hating the worried expression that was on it because of him. “I made certain promises to myself but you... You make me want to break them. And that’s why I needed to call off our scene.”

  “I don’t know if I should apologize for that or not.”

  “You should not. I’m the one who is sorry.”

  They fell silent again. There was so much Jordan wanted to say but the weight of the secret he carried wouldn’t let him speak. He couldn’t put that burden down, not here on Danny’s front porch.

  “I guess this is goodnight?”

  Jordan nodded. “Yeah.”

  Danny’s fingers delicately curled into his shirt. He tipped his head back, silently asking for a goodnight kiss.

  Jordan obliged, with a chaste, closed-mouth press of their lips. Disappointment and hurt flashed across Danny’s face. At the wounded look, guilt and his Dom’s instinct to protect and soothe rose up, demanding that he give Danny anything he wanted to make him feel better and erase the hurt from his eyes. He forced himself to ignore it and step back without giving him a deeper, more intimate kiss.

  “Go inside,” he ordered gently. Danny turned away without another word, the smile that Jordan loved to see nowhere to be found. His chest aching with regret, he waited until Danny closed the door and he heard the lock click before he made his way back to his car.

  Jordan drove home with one goal in mind: gear up as Blaze and hit the streets. When he arrived in the underground garage, he stripped out of his clothes, ready to change into his leathers. But after yet another sexually charged scene where he didn’t get to enjoy a release, his cock was hard, nearly unbearably so. It would be uncomfortable to get into the form fitting pants with an erection. What he needed to do was take himself in hand and rub it out so he could get to work.

  Except, it would be a mistake to touch his cock right now, with the far too recent memory of Danny’s soft cries whispering in his head. Jordan, please. How much more could he take? He’d drawn the line in the sand for himself. Would it be so bad if he crossed it? To find solace with Danny, to sink into his warmth taking pleasure, giving pleasure.

  Jordan let his hand drift down, past his waist to touch his engorged cock. His hand was dry, but he imagined Danny’s perfect lips around it, wetly sucking. He knew what Danny looked like on his knees. His imagination filled in the rest. He stroked once, ready to get himself off to fantasies of him and Danny together. But after that one stroke, he stopped. He couldn’t do this. If he did, the floodgates would be opened and he wouldn’t be satisfied until he had the real thing.

  Forcing his hand away from his cock, Jordan called upon every ounce of control he had to find the strength to quell his arousal. He let his head fall back on his shoulders, inhaling and exhaling deep breaths through his nose. “I am in control.” Pre-cum beaded on the tip of his cock, spilling down the length of his shaft in a hot rush. Jordan groaned and balled up his fists. “I am in control,” he repeated with more force.

  The garage lights repeatedly flashed off and on and the air turned sharp and electric. Jordan drew in several more deep breaths, clearing the erotic images of Danny from his mind. Finally, the pulsing arousal eased, the electric charge faded from the room, and the lights stopped blinking.

  Relieved, Jordan began to gear up. But as he pulled on his pants, he realized he had a decision to make. It was no longer feasible to go on like this — walki
ng a line between spending time with Danny but holding back from getting too close. He wanted Danny too much for that. And Danny’s confusion at prematurely ending the scene made him feel lower than a snail’s ass. Hurting Danny had never been his intention but he should have realized it would happen.

  There were two options for him to fix the mess he’d made, break it off with Danny completely or come clean so he could be his Dom. Jordan knew which option he preferred. He didn’t want to let Danny go, but could he risk bringing the innocent young man into the violence and danger of his world?

  ***

  After Jordan dropped him off, Danny was at a loss as to what to do for the rest of the night. It was barely nine o’clock, too early for bed. Besides, he was restless after the abrupt end to their scene. Too restless to settle down to watch TV or read anything from the stack of comics on the coffee table. He’d expected to come home sleepy and sated. Instead he was keyed up and confused.

  Promises that Jordan had made? What promises? To never take another sub, maybe? If so, why had he made that promise to himself? He clearly enjoyed being a Dom. And although Danny’s experience was extremely limited, he thought he was good at it. Or at least, he was good at the scene play part of being a Dom.

  He should have asked for more clarification but hadn’t thought to do so. Whenever they were together, the attraction between them was so powerful it made it difficult to think of anything but getting as close to each other as possible. And although the way Jordan spoke to him and touched him indicated he felt that attraction too, he seemed to be fighting it. Danny didn’t know why but he wanted to find out.

  Maybe he’d been too hasty agreeing to Jordan’s terms to only be his Dom trainer. He wanted more than that from Jordan. And a not so tiny part of him had only agreed to the deal with the hopes that it would grow into something more later. He realized now that starting off their relationship with any kind of secret or subterfuge had been a mistake.

  Danny sighed. He wasn’t going to figure any of this out tonight, not without discussing it with the other person involved. But the unfulfilled need and tension wasn’t going away. He decided to use some of the energy buzzing under his skin to get some work done.