Autumn Trail

by Bonnie Bryant

  “And do you remember when we both got to be in that movie with Skye?” Lisa continued. She and Pepper had both been featured in a movie that had been filmed at Pine Hollow. Skye Ransom, the teenage star of the movie, had asked Lisa to pick out a horse for him to ride. She had chosen Pepper, knowing that the calm and obedient horse would be perfect for the role—especially since Skye wasn’t a very good rider. Lisa smiled a little at the memory. Making the movie had been much harder work than she had expected, but it had also been a lot of fun. Her smile faded, though, as she realized just how many of her favorite Pine Hollow memories involved Pepper. Could things ever be the same without him?

  “That was exciting, wasn’t it, boy?” she continued, trying to banish such thoughts. She was supposed to be comforting Pepper, not feeling sorry for herself. “And how about that time …”

  The words tumbled from her mouth faster and faster as more memories flooded her mind. She reminisced about all the good times she and Pepper had had together, telling him over and over again how much she had appreciated every single moment of it all. She talked about the Mountain Trail Overnight they’d gone on together, and the magical Starlight Ride they’d shared on Christmas Eve. She reminded him how much fun it had been to learn to play polocrosse together. Then, of course, there was that very first show—a combined-training event at Pine Hollow at which Lisa and Pepper had won three ribbons. There was so much to remember that Lisa didn’t think she could ever finish telling Pepper about how much fun it had all been. And she didn’t want to.

  As she talked, Lisa looked as hard as she could for signs that the medicine was working. But aside from quieting his breathing a little, she had to admit that it didn’t seem to be having much effect. “Pepper, you have to get better,” she told him fiercely, straightening his forelock with her fingers. “You just have to!”

  But as the horse sighed again and his ears drooped a little, Lisa could tell how much effort it was costing him just to breathe. His eyes closed, and in a few seconds he was asleep.

  “It’s okay, Pepper,” Lisa whispered. “Don’t worry. I’m here with you now. Everything’s going to be okay.”

  But as she said it, she realized that she needed to hear those words more than Pepper did. In fact, she realized that he already seemed to know what she herself was just beginning to understand.

  “Pepper,” she said quietly to the sleeping horse. “You’ve done so much for me, ever since I’ve known you, and for everybody else around here, too.” She took a deep breath. “And I think I’ve finally realized what I need to do for you right now. I don’t like it much, but I think it’s the best thing for you, and that’s what’s important.”

  She stroked Pepper’s cheek again gently, being careful not to wake him. She knew she had to say the words out loud. Otherwise, she’d never be able to carry them through. “Pepper, you’re in pain all the time now, and it’s not fair to you. You’ve been too good to me for me to make you go through this any longer than you have to, especially if it’s just because of my own selfishness. If it’s just because I can’t stand to see you die. But it’s time now for me to do what’s best for you. Stay right here and rest, and I’ll go call Judy.”

  She lifted his head off her lap and lowered it carefully to the straw on the stall floor. Pepper didn’t wake up, and he didn’t move as she left the stall. She could hear the sound of his rasping breathing following her down the corridor as she walked toward Max’s office to use the phone.

  Lisa noticed that the sun had risen while she was with Pepper. She was surprised that so much time had passed. Then again, she realized that she had had a lot to talk about with Pepper before she said good-bye.

  Lisa called Judy first. The vet promised to be there within the hour. Next, Lisa called her own house. When her mother answered, she quickly explained what was happening and asked to talk to Stevie.

  “Hello?” Stevie’s voice came groggily over the phone a few minutes later. “Lisa? Where are you?”

  “Pine Hollow,” Lisa replied. “I came over because I was worried about Pepper. With good reason, as it turns out. Stevie, he’s much worse.” Lisa’s voice cracked a little as she said it.

  That seemed to wake Stevie up right away. “How much worse?” she asked.

  “A lot,” Lisa replied truthfully. Even though Lisa was feeling so bad about Pepper, it felt good to share some of her worry and pain with her friend. “In fact, I just called Judy. She’ll be here soon. I think it’s time to let Pepper go.” For the first time that morning, Lisa felt tears come to her eyes. She choked them back. “I think that’s the best thing for him.”

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Stevie told her. “Have you talked to Carole yet?”

  “N-n-n-” Lisa couldn’t quite get the word out, because she was trying so hard to keep from crying.

  “I’ll call her,” Stevie said quickly. “We’ll both be there soon. Probably Veronica, too, unfortunately, unless we can manage to lose her somewhere along the way.”

  Lisa tried to laugh at Stevie’s joke, but all she could manage was a sniffle.

  “Don’t worry, Lisa. Just hold on until we get there,” Stevie said comfortingly, realizing that her friend was much too upset for jokes at the moment. Stevie was upset, too, but besides being worried about Pepper, she was worried about Lisa. She knew how much Pepper meant to Lisa, and if he had to be put down, Stevie wanted to be there for both of them.

  Stevie said good-bye to Lisa and then immediately dialed Carole’s number.

  “Veronica and I will be there in a few minutes,” Carole said as soon as Stevie told her what was wrong. “I’m sure my dad will drive us. We’ll pick you up on the way, okay?”

  Meanwhile Lisa had called Red O’Malley and then returned to Pepper’s stall to wait for everyone to arrive. She knew that the most important thing she could do for Pepper now was to stay with him and let him know that she cared, and that he wasn’t alone. She had done what she knew was right. Now she just hoped she would be able to handle the consequences.

  COLONEL HANSON DROPPED off Carole, Stevie, and Veronica in front of Pine Hollow, and the three of them hurried inside. On their way to Pepper’s stall, they met Red, who was heading in the same direction.

  “How’s Pepper?” Carole asked him anxiously.

  “And Lisa?” Stevie added.

  Red shook his head. “The answer to both questions is ‘I don’t know.’ I just got here myself.”

  By this time they had reached Pepper’s stall, so they didn’t waste any more time talking. Stevie and Carole looked in over the half door of the stall and saw Lisa sitting in the straw with Pepper’s head in her lap. She was talking to him softly, and he seemed to be listening. His big brown eyes were trained on Lisa’s face.

  “Lisa, we’re here,” Stevie said.

  Lisa looked up. “Hi. Thanks for coming,” she said. “Pepper was sleeping for a while, but he just woke up a few minutes ago.”

  Carole turned to Red, who had joined them at the door. “He doesn’t look too good, does he?” she said quietly.

  The stable hand shook his head. “Lisa did the right thing by calling Judy,” he said sadly. “Poor old Pepper.”

  Carole nodded. So did Stevie. They both would have sworn that they heard Veronica, who was hanging back from the door, stifle a sniffle.

  Just then they all heard the sound of Judy’s truck coming to a stop in front of the stable. A moment later she joined them, holding the black bag containing her medical supplies. She greeted them briefly, asked Stevie to hold the bag, and then entered the stall.

  Lisa stood up and stepped back to allow Judy enough space to examine Pepper. But the vet hardly seemed to need it; the examination was brief. Judy gave the horse a pat and then stood up. She faced Lisa, put one hand on her shoulder, and looked at her solemnly.

  “Lisa, thank you for having the courage to make the very difficult decision to call me,” the vet said quietly. “I want you to know that it was the right decision, eve
n if it doesn’t feel that way to you right now. Pepper is very sick, and he’s not going to get better. There’s no need for him to suffer any longer. Now he won’t have to.”

  Lisa just nodded. She didn’t trust herself to speak. Despite the vet’s words, Lisa kept wondering if this was really the only way. But deep inside of herself, she knew that it was.

  “You all might prefer not to be here for this,” Judy was saying as she reached over the stall door to take her bag from Stevie.

  Lisa took a deep breath. “I want to be here,” she said. “After all, I’ve come this far with him.”

  Stevie nodded quickly. “We all want to stay.”

  “That’s right,” Carole said quietly. Lisa wondered briefly if Carole was thinking about her mother’s death. If it was this hard for her to lose a horse she loved, she couldn’t even imagine what her friend had gone through in losing a parent. She promised herself to think more about that later and then turned her attention back to Pepper.

  Lisa knelt down in the hay beside Pepper again. Carole and Stevie joined her. “I guess it’s really time to say good-bye to him,” Lisa said, looking at her friends.

  Carole just nodded. But Stevie grabbed Pepper’s big head in her hands and carefully turned it a little so he was looking straight into her face. He blinked at her, seeming surprised to see her.

  “Don’t give me that look, Pepper,” Stevie said, trying her best to sound stern, and failing miserably. “You don’t think I’d let you go without a proper good-bye, do you?” And to the amazement of all watching, Stevie planted a big kiss right on the end of Pepper’s velvety gray nose. Then she leaned over and hugged him. “We’ll never forget you, Pepper.”

  Next it was Carole’s turn. She stroked Pepper’s cheek and spoke to him seriously. “Pepper, you’ve been a good friend to us all. Before I say good-bye, I want to sing you a special song that my mother used to sing to me at night when I was afraid of the dark and couldn’t go to sleep. I hope it’ll keep you from being afraid now, too.”

  Stevie and Lisa glanced at each other. Neither of them had known that Carole had ever been afraid of anything.

  But Carole didn’t look up. As she continued to stroke Pepper’s smooth cheek, she sang a short lullaby in a soft, sweet voice. When she finished, her eyes were filled with tears. She hugged Pepper just as Stevie had done. “You’ve earned your rest, Pepper. Good-bye.”

  As Lisa moved forward, Stevie and Carole stood up and stepped back against the wall of the stall. They wanted to give Lisa one last moment alone with Pepper.

  Lisa would have appreciated the gesture if she’d noticed it, but at that moment all she could think about was Pepper. She sat down beside him and took his head into her lap one last time. She brushed his forelock out of his eye and patted him on the neck, just as she had always done when she was proud of him or pleased with something he’d done or just showing her affection for him. Now that the moment had come, Lisa found that she had no idea what to say to him. As often as she’d been told that horses couldn’t understand English, she still felt it was very important to say the right thing.

  But suddenly Lisa understood that she didn’t really have to say much at all. She had said it all many times before, and all that was necessary now was a few words to sum it all up. She leaned down, put both arms around Pepper’s neck for a farewell hug, and spoke right into one of his big pointed gray ears. “I love you, Pepper,” she whispered. “Thank you.” Then she kissed him on the forehead and stood up. She stepped to the door of the stall and looked out at Judy, Red, and Veronica. “We’re ready,” she said, her voice calm and steady.

  Judy nodded and stepped back into the stall. She had prepared an injection while The Saddle Club was saying good-bye to Pepper.

  “Can we pat him while—while you do it?” Lisa asked.

  “Of course,” Judy told her. “I’m sure he’d like that.”

  The three girls knelt down again. Carole was in front of Pepper, where she could stroke his neck, and Stevie was by his back, where she could lay her hand on his side. Lisa sat down by his head, where she could continue to stroke his cheek and comfort him until his pain was gone forever.

  Judy crouched down next to Stevie, gave Pepper a fond pat on the neck, and then administered the injection. It worked swiftly. Within a matter of seconds, the girls felt a shudder pass through Pepper’s body. He closed his eyes, let out one last sigh, and then lay still.

  AFTER THEY LEFT Pepper’s stall, The Saddle Club wandered toward the locker area, where the riders stored their extra clothing and equipment. Veronica trailed along behind them. For once in her life she didn’t seem to have anything to say. Judy had stayed behind to wait for the truck to come and remove Pepper’s body. Red had gone to check on the rest of the horses and start the morning feeding, which by this time was late.

  Lisa felt drained. It had been a very long morning; so long, in fact, that she could hardly believe it was only nine o’clock. She also could hardly believe that Pepper was really gone. Most of all, though, she could hardly believe that her stomach was growling. Somehow, it didn’t seem right to be hungry at a time like this, but her stomach didn’t seem to know it.

  “Are you all right?” Stevie asked, putting an arm around her shoulders.

  Lisa nodded and smiled at her friend. Stevie seemed fun-loving and carefree most of the time, but she was proving right now that there was more to her than that. There was also a caring, sympathetic friend, who knew how much Pepper had meant to Lisa. “Thanks. I think I’m going to be okay,” Lisa said. And she meant it. She was sure that later, when what had happened had had a chance to sink in, she would be sad and cry, probably a lot. But she also knew that she had done what was right for Pepper, and that was the most important thing.

  Lisa and Stevie sat down together on one of the benches in the locker area. It was hard for Lisa to believe that it had only been the day before that they had used the very same bench in their Thanksgiving play. It felt to her as if years and years had passed since then.

  She noticed that Carole and Veronica were standing together nearby. Lisa couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she could see that Carole was doing most of the talking. She had a sad and thoughtful look on her face, and Lisa suspected she was talking about Pepper. But after a moment Lisa saw that Veronica had interrupted and leaned forward as if she were asking Carole something important. Lisa couldn’t imagine what it was, however, especially when she saw Carole frown with annoyance.

  This time Lisa and Stevie could both hear exactly what their friend was saying. “You know, Veronica, you’ve been so human lately that I’d almost forgotten how selfish you can be. But you just reminded me!” Carole snapped loudly. Then she turned on her heel and marched away from an astonished Veronica toward Lisa and Stevie.

  “What was that all about?” Stevie asked as Carole joined them on the bench.

  But before Carole could answer, Veronica strolled over and stopped before them, her hands on her hips. “Well, you guys, this has been very interesting, but I have to go. I have something to do at home.”

  “Don’t let us keep you,” Carole said, still looking angry.

  Veronica headed for the door. But she paused just before reaching it and turned to look at Lisa. “I’m really sorry about Pepper,” she said quietly, then dashed out.

  Stevie raised her eyebrows. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but that was nice of her to say.” She turned to Carole. “Now will you tell us what she just said to you that obviously wasn’t so nice?”

  “I will,” Carole said, “as soon as we get to TD’s. I think this day definitely calls for a Saddle Club meeting.”

  Lisa stared at her. “Carole, I’m pretty upset about Pepper and everything, and I hardly got any sleep at all last night, but even I know it’s barely nine o’clock in the morning. Don’t tell me you’re in the mood for ice cream now!” Tastee Delight, more commonly known as TD’s, was an ice-cream parlor at the local shopping center. It was one of The Sa
ddle Club’s favorite places to hold their meetings.

  “Even if she is, she’s out of luck,” Stevie announced. “TD’s doesn’t open until eleven. I know that for a fact, because one time I was in the mood for an ice-cream breakfast.”

  “Oops,” Carole said, blushing. “I guess I wasn’t thinking. Well, maybe we can go somewhere for breakfast, then. All I know is that I’m starving.” Carole was so responsible and knowledgeable when it came to horses that her friends sometimes forgot that she could be a bit flaky in situations where no horses were involved. But Carole invariably found an opportunity to remind them.

  Lisa started to laugh, but she could see that Carole was truly embarrassed by her error. She realized that the morning had been difficult for all of them. So instead of laughing, she suggested a solution. “Why don’t we take the bus over to that pancake house on the other side of town?” she said.

  “Good idea,” Carole said, brightening immediately.

  “It is a good idea, but I can’t go,” Stevie said reluctantly. “I have a job to do here, remember?”

  Red had entered the area just in time to hear what Stevie said. “Did I hear you correctly, Stevie? You’re going to pass up breakfast with your friends to stay here and muck out stalls with me? I’m touched!” he teased, putting one hand over his heart. Then he got serious. “Go on, Stevie. It’s been a rough morning, and you probably need a break.”

  “But I promised Max, and besides, you’re running late already …” Stevie began.

  But Red didn’t let her finish. “Don’t be ridiculous. Go!” he insisted. Then he hurried out of the room before she could protest further.

  Carole, for one, didn’t need to hear it twice. “You heard him, Stevie. You’ve been doing a great job here while Max was away, but you do deserve a break. After all, Red owes you one from yesterday, when you took care of everything yourself all day.”