The Eternal Moment

by DEMETRIO VERBARO

  Giuseppe, who had slept curled up with the photo of his parents close to his chest, said hoarsely:

  «What time is it?»

  Sidney replied gently:

  «It's still early, go back to sleep. »

  Giuseppe did not answer. He had started snoring again before the end of the sentence.

  Sidney smiled and left.

  The cool air made him shiver. He sat down on a big moss-encrusted rock and, from a hilltop, he watched the sunrise kissing the world: the sea blazed, until it became inflamed. Small fishing boats plying it. It seemed like they were surfing on lava from the Etna. The sun continued its way up and from the sea, it turned its power over towards the roofs of the houses of Mosorrofa, which became incandescent. The powerful rays went up the hill, slammed against the broken glass of the windows and illuminated the cabin like a kaleidoscope.

  Sidney stood up from the rock, spread his arms, closed his eyes, took a deep breath and tried to get as much heat as possible.

  After a moment, he opened his eyes and felt a strange feeling: he had a heightened clarity of the things around him. He watched the squirrels snoozing on tree branches and the cats over the stones. He listened to the rustling of leaves. In the end, he felt the caress of the wind on his face. Everything lasted for an instant, but to him it seemed to have slowed down, as if the world had stopped, a moment that seemed like an eternity.

  In that moment, he even had the awareness that he had understood the meaning of life.

  Later, when he said everything to Giuseppe, he called that feeling "the eternal moment".

  His friend asked him:

  «What exactly did you feel? »

  «It was like if in that moment the world had become wonderful. In that moment, not a single autumn leaf had fallen from the branch. No dog was abandoned in the highway. Everyone told the truth. The men were brave, the women beautiful, no human being had died, but many women gave birth without pain.»

  CHAPTER 18

  Jessica walked bored in the Village, looking absently at the shop windows.

  She stopped by an Italian bakeshop and bought a cannoli with ricotta. He sat on a chair in the shop and ate the cake slowly, with gusto.

  Her mind wandered. Her thoughts were confused. One thing was certain: it was time to decide. It was the most important decision of her life, but she would make it and would not take it back.

  "The only thing worse than a wrong choice is not to choose. We have to take risks, act, and even if you mess up, well it's still better than staying idle "Jessica thought.

  This thought not only soothed her, but it exalted her. A sense of happiness and optimism invaded her heart. She left the store and started walking again, but this time at a hurried pace, with bright eyes and full of joy.

  She had hit bottom betraying Giuseppe. She had felt like dying with grief and shame, but now she was going back, starting to feel her energy was coming back and she was ready to rebuild.

  "It is not over. I can start all over again. I want to fully live my life until the end, I will not surrender. I want to have fire in my eyes.»

  She arrived at the intersection of 47th and Madison Avenue and stopped, waiting for the light to turn green. If she had turned right, she would have arrived to Giuseppe’s house. If she had turned left, she would have arrived at the Avalon Hotel, where Sidney was staying.

  It seemed that the red light didn’t want to know anything about leaving. The memories of past moments together with Giuseppe and Sidney crossed her mind. Her eyes welled with tears as a smile lit up her face full of lightness. In her heart there were many mixed feelings and unclear sensations.

  It was in the exact instant when the red light turned to green that Jessica made her choice.

  ******************

  Giuseppe stared at the phone, hoping to receive a call from Jessica.

  He looked out the window, hoping to see her on the sidewalk, walking towards the house.

  Whenever he saw a red-haired woman, he bounced believing to see her, then he was disappointed every time.

  He took courage and dialed her number, but Jessica’s phone was always turned off.

  That day, for the first time, he called in sick for work and stayed home to wait for his love.

  If she were to come back, he would be there.

  The day passed slowly, but no one knocked on his door.

  The night came and Giuseppe continued to shuttle back and forth between the window and the phone.

  The semi-darkness of a new day came in from the window. The dawn was being born and when he realized that a new day had arrived, he surrendered.

  He went to bed in the side where Jessica used to sleep. He inhaled on the pillow where her red hairs used to sleep. He bathed the pillow with tears and fell asleep right away.

  *********************

  Sidney was taking a hot bath. He threw vanilla-scented salts in the water, which immediately started to vibrate creating bubbles. He lit a jasmine candle, closed his eyes and relaxed. After an hour, he left the tub and laid on the bed, wearing a white bathrobe.

  He kept his eyes glued to the screen of his mobile phone, hoping for a call, but suddenly he heard a knock on the door.

  Sidney whispered, «Come in» and hopeful looked up. But he was disappointed. It wasn’t the person who he was waiting for.

  A boy with black hair and with a sleepy look said quietly:

  «Room service.»

  «What time is it? » Sidney asked in amazement.

  «Seven in the afternoon» replied the boy, holding out his hand open.

  «Yeah, yeah» muttered Sidney. «Can’t you see that I'm in a bathrobe? In your opinion, do I have banknotes with me? Leave the cart and disappear. »

  The boy turned away irritated, muttering something in a strange dialect.

  Sidney opened the covers and saw a plate full of gruel and another with undercooked meat.

  «Go to hell » he shouted, pushing the dishes away in disgust.

  «Enough, I give up on love. Love is not for me, fine by me. It’s nothing but only a short lack of torment, a pact with this absurd life and I know exactly where to find all of that.» He thought resentfully.

  From the closet, he took the first clothes that he found. He put them on and went out, slamming the door violently.

  CHAPTER 19

  Cristina was turning over the pancakes in the pan until they were golden and crispy. Riccardo was cooking steaks on the barbecue. Jessica was setting the table. The twins Thomas and Guglielmo were playing football with Sidney and Giuseppe. It was one of the first days of spring and nature was celebrating. It was the perfect setting for a picnic with friends.

  Riccardo, who was wearing a white apron with the inscription: when I wear this, eat at will, shouted:

  «The meat is ready, go wash your hands and then everyone to the table.»

  Sidney breathed in the scent of fried and said:

  «The smell of this food draws strong emotions. »

  «If only the smell has this effect on you, you'll see after eating. »

  Cristina spoke to Giuseppe:

  «So, tomorrow you’ll leave us. »

  Giuseppe answered watching Jessica. He knew she would not see her for a long time, so every look was directed at her.

  «Yeah, I'm going to New York. »

  Riccardo took a glass of wine, raised his arm and shouted:

  «To New York» then he said in a soothing voice, pointing to a field of sunflowers:

  «Look what a paradise you're leaving. »

  Giuseppe looked again at Jessica. Her curly hair highlighted the delicate features of the woman's face.

  "It is the only paradise that I would not want to leave» thought Giuseppe.

  Riccardo emptied his glass until the last drop, caressed his beard and said:

  «On the other hand, you do well. There is no work here. Over there, on the other hand you'll get a prestigious position.»

  Cristina also stood up:

&nbs
p; «A toast for Sidney who managed to overcome his addiction and going back to being that loving guy who he always has been. »

  «To Sidney» shouted all together, including the twins who were holding a glass of coke.

  «It's all Giuseppe’s doing»

  «I only provided the tools. There was also a lot of support from the meetings with the anonymous compulsive gamblers that I forced you to attend. But the main merit is yours. You have gradually achieved the result. Every day you reached a small goal and in the end you did it. »

  Sidney closed his eyes and thought back to the meeting. He thought of Giorgia, a beautiful woman of thirty who had spent all her money in the machines of video poker. She, in tears, had admitted: "When I was winning, the machine always lit up with lights, colors, sounds, and even though I had only won one euro, and before I had lost a hundred, I felt happy because my real life was so gray. The machine understood me, my husband did not.” He thought back to Fausto, an old, short and bald man. He spent all the money of his pension in lottery tickets. He always spoke in a firm tone and with a fierce look: "I do not regret anything. I felt better playing lottery than waiting for my children and grandchildren who only came to see me when they needed money, and now that I'm poor ... well now I haven’t seen them for months"

  Jessica poked Sidney with a straw: "My dad is talking to you, did you fall asleep?"

  Sidney smiled and turned to look towards Riccardo, who while peeling a small piece of walnut, asked him:

  «What are your plans for the future? »

  Sidney, nervously rubbing his hands on his military trousers, replied:

  «I have no plans. I have no dreams that I want to make come true any cost. I will live as I have always lived in the past, not knowing what I would do until I did it. »

  Riccardo said in a serious tone:

  «Son, there is a vacancy in my notary office. It's yours if you want it. »

  The boy did not even have to think it over for a moment:

  «Thank you. I gladly accept.»

  «You could help me here in the garden too.»

  «Yes, I would love to get my hands dirty with soil. It is said that in the evening the peasants come home tired but happy. »

  «Yes, it takes a lot of patience in the fields. If you want, next week, there is the olive harvest.»

  Jessica interjected, her voice was crystal clear:

  «It's my favorite. We do everything by hand. We, first, spread the nets, then we beat the branches with a long stick, and finally we collect the olives in many wooden crates. Then, with the tractor, we take them to the mill. The smell of the oil that you can breathe in there is wonderful.»

  Cristina arrived with a tray full of slices of watermelon. Riccardo slapped his hands on his belly:

  «Enough, I'm full.»

  Giuseppe stood up. «Don’t even joke. There's always room for dessert. I’m going to the bar to buy a bowl of ice cream. Are hazelnut and chocolate ok?»

  «Get some 'fior di latte’ too.» Jessica said.

  «Me and my brother are coming with you.» said Thomas.

  When they were little, they wore the same hair and dressed alike, but after growing up they had felt the need to differentiate from each other.

  Guglielmo had a sober look. He liked wearing satin pants, sweaters, dark jackets and leather loafers. He was a talker who pretended to be an intellectual, but he was always in a good mood and saw the bright side in everything.

  Thomas liked wearing black leather pants, earrings in his lobes and wore cropped hair. However, it was the frown in his face that his tormented soul could be understood. At first sight he could be mistaken for a conceited and a blowhard, but he was more of a naive, gentle and a courageous thinking mind.

  Cristina had started to clear the table. Riccardo took her by the hips and whispered something in her

  ear. Cristina blushed with shame and said aloud:

  «I’ll clear the table in ten minutes» and she headed for home.

  Riccardo, followed her at a short distance. He imitated the cry of a cat in love. « I would say not to clear it before the first half-hour.»

  «What a jokers are your parents. »

  «After all these years I’m still in love like the first day.» Jessica murmured, her voice full of affection. «My mother always tells me that she and my father are like two chestnuts clammed up together. They stay close together and never separate. They'll be together forever. She's a special woman. I admire her a lot. She’s always telling me that in life it is important to wake up with a smile and not let anyone take it away from there. »

  «They are really smart. »

  «They do not waste energy trying to correct the faults of the other. They spend all their time appreciating what they love from each other.»

  Sidney ran away suddenly. He returned a few minutes later, out of breath.

  «I stole it from your neighbor. Do you remember when we were little and I gave you one like this? »

  «Oh Sidney I ... see it's over between you and me ... I feel something for someone else ... it was beautiful between us and I really loved you but ... your illness for the game is dangerous. You know that I dream of a family, children, serenity, and one day your gambling addiction might reappear. I know how these things work, they never die. And then they could destroy everything, sweep my life like a hurricane does with a wooden house and I cannot let my future children suffer. And then again I feel something for someone else.»

  Sidney replied in a low voice as if he was ashamed to say those words:

  «You're right, my addiction has alienated my heart from yours. The most heartbreaking thing of the matter is that while I was burning my money away in the game, I was wondering how I had managed to live before gambling. It was as if my real life had begun with the first bet. I wondered how I could live without that feeling of fulfillment that clouded my senses every time I guessed the result of a sporting event. What is more, I even wondered how people lived happy and gave meaning to their existence without gambling! What an idiot I am: I was happy only before I played my first bet! »

  She looked at him with eyes full of tears. She threw herself on him and hugged him repeating with emotion:

  «I love you and I always will. »

  Meanwhile Giuseppe had arrived at the bar "da Franco". He opened his wallet and said to Guglielmo:

  «Get some ice cream and keep the rest. I’ll wait for you outside. I want to say hello to some old friends.»

  He approached a man with graying hair that was more or less fifty years old.

  «Hello Aldo. »

  The man looked up from the newspaper and greeted him with enthusiasm:

  «Hello Giuseppe, still here? I thought you were gone for a while. »

  «I’m leaving of tomorrow. »

  «Where are you going?»

  « New York»

  «Wonderful. Congratulations! It was obvious since you were a kid that you were special.» and then he returned to read the article in the newspaper.

  «Who has the Inter bought this year? »

  Aldo's face lit up, his voice bursted with sunshine.

  «Mourinho only wants champions, so far Lucio and Milito, but we are also trying to get Sneijder and Eto'o instead of Ibraimovich. »

  «C’mon, this year we’ll win the scudetto again. »

  Aldo stood up as if to make an important proclamation. His tone was peremptory.

  «I think we will also win the Champion's League», then he went back to sit and continued reading.

  Giuseppe approached another two other middle-aged men who were playing Briscola.

  Bartolo was sitting limply with a beer in his hand. Giuseppe asked his friend something about politics.

  Michele had his shirt open and a relaxed mood. He dismissed the subject with a bored gesture of the hand, on the other hand he found all his verve when he began to talk about women:

  «Tomorrow I'll try with Maria in Spilungona. »

  Giuseppe saw that Mic
hele had extinguished the cigarette without smoking the filter.

  He said goodbye to them with a wave of his hand and thought:

  “Now Michele will pull the ace of coins."

  The two men responded to the goodbye, then Michele slammed a card on the table, screaming with satisfaction:

  «Ace of coins. I won, buy me a soda at coffee shop. »

  While he was returning home along with the twins, Giuseppe wondered:

  «Between me and Aldo, who lives better? Between me and the two, who is happier? Because they stayed anchored to their boring life, always the same. Maybe because they are afraid or because they are not very smart to want more. Or maybe they're smart enough to be truly happy for what they have. Maybe they're right. Maybe I did not understand a shit about life while they did. They are so smiling, with a light heart and a free soul. "

  For a moment he was tempted to send his studies and New York to hell, to give up his career, stay in Mosorrofa, and spend his afternoons playing Calabrisella with Michele and Bartolo, to spend his Sundays watching the Inter matches with Aldo and always play PlayStation with Sidney.

  He seriously toyed with the idea, but not for long, he realized that he didn’t have the courage to change his life.

  The sun threw waves of heat. While they were eating ice cream, Richard and Cristina, tenderly embraced, cuddled with the twins. Sidney, Jessica and Giuseppe chatted and joked with each other. Suddenly, a bit of chocolate dripped on Giuseppe's shirt.

  Jessica took a napkin and wiped it. «You are always the same, a genius who cannot even eat ice cream without getting dirty.» The mommy’s tone with which she scolded him and the Giuseppe’s beaten dog expression unleashed in all the others a strong hilarity, up to cause an uncontrollable laughter in everyone.

  Sidney stared at the radiant faces of those people, focusing on Jessica’s smile and thought:

  "I had forgotten the finer things in life. I had forgotten how a pat on the back, given by your father, can warm the heart or the embrace of a mother, or the comfort of a friend, or the love of a woman."

  CHAPTER 20