Elysian Dreams
Page 13
“I think Daphne and I can be happy, but we may need to go away from here. She’ll always want to come see her father, and I’ll want to come back too, but I don’t think we can live here. I doubt she’d be able to make friends here any easier than I’ve been able to. Our pasts are equally interesting and not likely to attract many true friends.”
“No one would oppose that decision. Perhaps it’s the first step to doing what Nyx suggested and taking a more active role in mortal lives. Your other powers may flourish if you live in the mortal world.”
“I’ve considered that, but I didn’t tell Daphne about that part yet. She was overexcited already.”
“She shouldn’t worry about anything she said or did the other day,” Zeus said. “She was upset.”
“I know. I told her that. She says she made peace with Apollo, and I hope that’s true.”
“I’m sure it is,” Zeus said. “He wanted her to be happy. He won’t do anything to interfere in your relationship.”
“I’ll need to talk to him before we leave. I’ll feel better.”
Zeus nodded. “Let me know, and I’ll bring you both to the palace. No more misunderstandings.”
Hades laughed. “Gods, this has been a year! I’ll be very glad to be bored to tears for a few months.”
Zeus agreed with all his heart. After Hades and Hypnos had left to tell Persephone all that had occurred, he sat and watched the clouds for a long time. He’d spent so much time looking after other people’s concerns he’d had no time for his own. He hadn’t seen Hera all day, and she hadn’t come to his bed last night. They liked having separate bedrooms, but they usually slept in his room at least three times a week. He knew she suspected something, but he knew she didn’t know the truth of the matter. He wanted what everyone else around him was finding. He’d only ever loved one woman and whether she felt the same or not, he intended to start acting like it. He’d had enough sex to sate any man for any number of lifetimes. He wanted what he could only get from Hera. She was his only true companion, the only woman who could ever be a match for him, and he’d spend as many years as he had to convincing her of that.
* * * *
Aphrodite looked down into the pool of water in the metal bowl. Hephaestus stood behind her as she gazed deep into the water. He’d made it for her as a present. In the water, she could see symbols that represented everyone else in the immortal world. She could command it to show her what was happening in their hearts. Only she could see this. No one else would see anything in the water. The closer the symbols were, the closer the bond between the two. The symbols would also run or pursue one another. She could ask it to show her romantic relationships, or purely platonic ones. The concept was very simple, but she liked it.
She looked back at Hephaestus. “I do like it. Thank you. It could help me, but I wonder what the point is. I’m too scared to do anything anymore.”
“If you don’t want to see the immortals, you can think the name of any man or woman in the mortal world. Perhaps the distraction would be good for you.”
She looked back into the water. When she asked about Apollo and Daphne, their symbols floated on opposite sides of the bowl. To her surprise, Apollo’s pursued Harmonia’s. She had expected it to be the other way around. Hypnos’ and Daphne’s symbols floated near each other, almost touching but not quite. She thought of Ares in the platonic sense. His symbol floated at the center of Hera’s, Eris’ and her own. Other symbols floated outside of theirs. She smiled to think he still cared for her as much as he did for his mother and sister. It also made her feel better about certain issues being settled between them, especially when she saw their son’s symbol floating next to hers, slightly closer than those of the others. She hesitated, and then thought of herself romantically. She saw nothing. She’d suspected as much since she had never been able to read her own heart accurately using her powers. She thought of Hephaestus and herself.
His symbol appeared, but it didn’t move. She saw no symbol for herself either, again as she had suspected. Every other symbol had floated around, but his was steadfast in the center of the bowl. She stared for a moment. Why wasn’t it moving? He touched her shoulder and she jumped.
He pulled back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were concentrating so hard.”
She swallowed. “That’s all right.”
“What did you ask?”
He knew. She could feel he knew, so she tried to change the subject. “It doesn’t matter.” She stood up and walked a few feet away. “You know, Alala and Ares haven’t done anything. Do you think they’ve told each other? Confided in each other that they each know we’re married?”
“I think Alala would keep the secret for fear of Hera’s reaction. She might think Ares would go straight to her. Ares I’m not sure of. He seemed both surprised and concerned though. He probably felt guilty, but I’m sure he felt protective of you. He’d be greatly angered if I hurt you in any way.”
“He should know you wouldn’t do that, not intentionally.”
He shook his head. “He doesn’t know me as well as you do though.”
“We haven’t talked in a long time. He’s probably avoiding me. He can’t keep secrets from me.”
Hephaestus took a deep breath.
“Does it hurt that much to know we were close?”
“Lots of things hurt. I’ve grown accustomed to it.”
She held her hand out, dropping the glamour that hid her wedding ring. “Can’t you just take it back? It wasn’t official enough to even need a divorce. It hasn’t even been consummated, and we had no witnesses. Why make yourself unhappy?”
He took her hand and rubbed the ring gently. “Because I could never have another wife.”
“You don’t have one now.”
“So you really do only want men who don’t want you?”
She didn’t know why she couldn’t pull her hand away. “I don’t want anyone. Now that Ares and I have been through so much, I think of you as the one I can confide in. I’m telling the truth about how I feel about you. I feel so close to you now. I never thought I’d feel that way again. But this is all I want. I want you to be my friend.”
He turned her hand over and kissed the palm.
She gasped, and her heart felt like it had jumped into her throat.
“You have sex with friends all the time.” He kissed her wrist and moved up her arm.
She shivered at the contact. It would feel amazing to be in his arms again. She still remembered how he felt inside her, the way he’d thrust so slowly and drive her mad with desire. “I don’t want to do that anymore.” She sighed as his lips reached her neck.
“You want me,” he whispered in her ear.
“But you want more than I can give.” She held to him to keep from collapsing. Her legs shook, and she could feel the need for him growing. Her pussy trembled when she thought of him taking her.
“I don’t understand.” He stopped kissing her and pulled her close. He didn’t caress her, he only held her. “You never cared before. You didn’t have to love me before.”
“This is different.” She pulled back to look at him. “Don’t you see?”
“I do, but I disagree with you. You admitted to me you never tried to love me.”
She looked away. She had regretted saying that to him so many times since that day. She’d felt so vulnerable she’d poured her whole heart out to him. She couldn’t understand how she kept getting everything so wrong.
“Aphrodite, I wish you’d try. Just be with me.” He captured her lips before she could speak again.
His kiss stunned her. She felt a fire she’d never noticed before. He’d always been passionate, but in this kiss she felt raw, desperate need. She gave in to the kiss and melted into his arms. His hands roamed over her back, down over her ass. She tangled her fingers in his hair and deepened the kiss. He drew her over to the bed, sitting on it and leaning back while slowly pulling her on top of him.
She straddled him and fel
t his cock. She rubbed against him as she remembered how big he was, knowing how good he’d feel. Their lips finally parted, and they both gasped for air.
“I hate to tell you this,” he began.
She pulled back. What could he be preparing to say? Had her giving in made him change his mind? “What?”
“My mother’s coming. She’s at the back door.”
She jumped off him. “Now?”
He nodded and sat up.
“But she can’t come in until you open the door? I’m still the only one you let come and go from here at my own will?”
“She could if the door weren’t locked, but I made sure it was before you arrived. She can’t materialize here using her powers. Only you and Hermes. I’m glad I never gave her that power now. I’m going to need a second to calm down.”
“I have to go. She’ll know if she sees me here.”
“I understand.”
“I’m sorry, but she can never know.”
“Don’t say never.” He stood up and came toward her.
“No.” She held her hands up to stop him. “Just let me leave. We can talk tonight.”
“All right,” he said, turning from her.
She snapped her fingers and soon materialized in her bedroom. She couldn’t believe what she’d done. Just as her troubles had seemed to be ending, she’d once again managed to complicate her life further in a matter of seconds.
* * * *
Zeus found Hera in her study playing a computer game. Hera, Ares and Persephone loved computers and technology. Zeus had never had much interest. He moved to her left side and leaned against her desk to wait for her to look up. She frantically pushed the up arrow a few more times before moving the mouse to the middle of the screen and clicking on it. All the action on the screen stopped.
“Are we going to have a little talk now?” she asked.
“I’d like for us to. You’ve obviously suspected something was going on for a while.”
“I think I know, but I don’t understand it. Would you like to discuss it in bed?” She smiled as she stood and ran her hand over his chest.
“I’d rather discuss it here.”
She nodded. “Okay. Let’s sit down then.” She walked over to the couch and sat down.
He followed her and looked around her study. The walls were lined with books, despite the fact Hera didn’t read much. “Why do you have so many books in here?”
She rolled her eyes. “I like the smell of books. Their presence is comforting. I do read them, hard as you may find that to believe. I always thought of storytelling as one of the noblest arts. I don’t just sit in here to play computer games. I come here to think when I need to. There are fewer distractions.”
“I need that sometimes.”
She pulled her legs up under her and settled into the corner of the couch. “Are you suddenly fifteen or are you genuinely nervous? Small talk? Come on, you’re the king of the gods! You used to tell the world’s greatest leaders what to do. Talk to your wife!”
Normally, that little speech would have pissed him off and he’d have stormed out. Behavior like that had always been a problem for both of them. He couldn’t start the way he’d intended to, so he thought quickly. After a moment he said, “I was wondering if you still miss the old days. I remember when you wanted us to reveal ourselves to mortals again. You wanted to be active in their world in a real way. Instead of taking jobs for six months to have a little fun or changing the destinies of a few people, you wanted to be a real goddess again.”
She smiled, probably thinking about what she thought of as her glory days. “Haven’t thought about it lately.” She looked into his eyes, and he sensed she was about to start laughing at him.
“What?” he asked.
“The last time I talked about that was the sixteenth century. I think Elizabeth I was inspiring me. Where are you going with this?”
“Everything that has been happening. Lots of immortals have been falling in love, though in and of itself, that’s nothing special.”
“Lots of weddings. That’s special. Honestly, before Poseidon met Layla, when was the last time? Eros and Psyche maybe? That was centuries ago, and it ended in divorce.”
“Weddings. Divorce. Why do we have these things?”
Hera’s eyebrows went up slowly, and then she looked off to the side for a moment. She turned back to him. “Could you please elaborate?”
“Why do we have these things if they mean nothing to us?”
“Who says they don’t?”
“We never had a wedding. Are we married?”
Hera buried her head in her hands. “Oh gods, are you serious? I knew this was about us, but are you actually telling me you’re upset we never had a wedding? I love weddings, and we can have one any time you like!”
As well as they understood one another, Zeus was often baffled by how hard it was to make her see what he meant at times. He knew he wasn’t getting to his point very well at all, but how could she think it was that simple?
“No. That’s not what I mean. I have a problem with our relationship, and I’m working up to it, all right?”
“All right, but in the mind of every immortal being, we are married, I can assure you. You asked me to be your lover and your queen before we had ever seen a mortal, before they were here, supposedly. If we can believe the Titans or the primal gods.”
“That’s not the—”
“Ah! That’s it. All this stuff with Hypnos! Hades going on and on about why we’re all here.” She sighed. “You’ve been thinking too much, haven’t you? Our big cosmic purpose? Our place in time and space?”
He tried to control his temper, but it was always so hard at times like this. “No. Those events have prompted it, but it’s more personal than that.”
“Then tell me?”
He could tell she was getting exasperated with him. He hadn’t honestly expected the conversation to be romantic, but he had hoped they would end the discussion in bed. He moved closer to her.
“You’ve seen me jealous hundreds of times, but I’ve never said it. I’m jealous.”
After she’d realized he was done, she frowned. “Of whom?”
“All of them. Every single one of them.”
“But why? I get moody about it at times, but I’m not jealous of any of your affairs.” She leaned forward. “Not to be mean, but have you noticed how many children you have? I only have two, and the one who has a father is yours.”
He knew she was lying about not being jealous, most especially because of those many children she’d mentioned. She’d always resented them, but he let it go for now. “Yes, I have. Maybe instead of throwing that in my face, you could look at it and see that I’ve obviously had enough experience to know what I want.”
“And what is that? I’m not exactly walking out the door.”
“No, you aren’t, not in that way. Is it so impossible I want what everyone else is so anxious to hold on to? Why do you think they’re all getting married?”
She shrugged. “We’re used to it now. Marriage is a mortal invention. Love always existed and held people together. I took such an interest in the causes of women the Greeks thought I must also rule over marriage. I liked that, so I embraced it. There isn’t less love because there isn’t a marriage.”
“I know, but I want what it represents. I don’t like assuming you’re in someone else’s bed the nights we don’t both sleep in my bed. You always get angry when I say or do anything that restricts your freedom, or that you feel restricts your freedom, but you’re going to have to be angry because I won’t take it back. It’s how I feel.”
She crossed her arms and looked away.
“You can think about it as long as you need to.”
“I’m going to take you up on that. You’ve never given the slightest indication you felt this way.” She looked back at him. “You think about it too. Even a few months could be as good as a whim, you know.”
He bit back his initial
reply. “I know why you feel that way. I’ll give you your space. I do need to think about it more, but I think I’ll come to the same conclusion. I’d be very happy if we could be satisfied with each other.”
She stood up and smoothed her skirt. “That makes more sense. Maybe you should have said that first.”
He reached for her hand. “I’ve never loved anyone else.”
“I know, but I came close at times. I never stopped loving you, but there have been a couple of men.”
He let go of her hand. “I knew that, but I always just found some way to distract myself. It was easy for a very long time. Now you know how I feel though. I won’t bring it up again until you have something to say.”
“Can I trust you on that?” she asked.
“I promise.”
She nodded and headed for the door. “It’s going to be a while. Remember that.”
He watched her leave. He felt better and worse, both relieved and worried. He understood now how Hades had felt with Persephone. Zeus had never had to work for anything with women. Hades had fallen in love with Persephone and then proceeded to make several mistakes before finally starting to win her heart.
Hera already loved him. He knew that. Eros, among others, had many times pointed out that the king and queen of the gods had never been a model couple. They definitely were not representatives of a happy marriage. Despite that, they did make each other happy. They weren’t husband and wife though, not to him. They were close friends who slept together very often. That gave them a better head start than most, but he wasn’t going to rely on that.
He stood up and walked out of her study. She was right. She wasn’t going anywhere, but he knew he’d be the happiest if she could be persuaded to see things his way. He knew he could be in for a very long wait.
* * * *
Aphrodite opened the door immediately because she already knew it was Hephaestus. “Come in.”
He stepped inside and handed her the bowl he’d made her. “You forgot this.”