Hopeless
Page 34
“I don’t want to go. You can go and I’ll help my mom get our popcorn and movie ready.”
I like the days I get to have sleepovers with Lesslie. I like any days I don’t have to be at home. I slide off the couch and walk to the front door to slip my shoes on, then walk outside and go lay next to Dean in the driveway. He doesn’t even look at me when I sit down next to him. He just keeps looking up at the sky, so I do the same thing.
The stars are really bright tonight. I’ve never looked up at them like this before. They’re so much prettier than the stars on my ceiling. “Wow. It’s so beautiful.”
“I know, Hope,” he says. “I know.”
It’s quiet for a long time. I don’t know if we watch the stars for lots of minutes or hours, but we keep watching them and we don’t talk. Dean doesn’t really talk a whole bunch. He’s a lot quieter than Lesslie.
“Hope? Will you promise me something?”
I turn my head and look at him, but he’s still looking up at the stars. I’ve never promised anyone anything before except my daddy. I had to promise him I wouldn’t tell anyone how he makes me thank him and I haven’t broken his promise, even though sometimes I wish I could. If I ever did break my daddy’s promise, I would tell Dean because I know he would never tell anyone.
“Yes,” I say to him.
He turns his head and looks at me, but his eyes look sad. “You know sometimes when your daddy makes you cry?”
I nod my head and try not to cry just thinking about it. I don’t know how Dean knows that my daddy is always the reason why I’m crying, but he does.
“Will you promise me that when he makes you sad, you’ll think about the sky?”
I don’t know why he wants me to promise him that but I nod anyway. “But why?”
“Because.” He turns his face back up to the stars. “The sky is always beautiful. Even when it’s dark or rainy or cloudy, it’s still beautiful to look at. It’s my favorite thing because I know if I ever get lost or lonely or scared, I just have to look up and it’ll be there no matter what...and I know it’ll always be beautiful. It’s what you can think about when your daddy is making you sad, so you don’t have to think about him.”
I smile, even though what we’re talking about is making me sad. I just keep looking up at the sky like Dean is, thinking about what he said. It makes my heart feel happy to have somewhere to go now when I don’t want to be where I am. Now when I’m scared, I’ll just think about the sky and maybe it’ll help me smile, because I know it’ll always be beautiful no matter what.
“I promise,” I whisper.
“Good,” he says. He reaches his hand out on the concrete between us and wraps his pinky around mine.
The End
When I wrote my first two novels, I didn’t use beta readers or bloggers. (By ignorance, not choice.) I didn’t even know what an ARC was.
Oh, how I wish I would have.
Thank you to ALL bloggers who work so hard to share your love for reading. You are definitely the lifeline for authors, and we thank you for everything you do.
A very special thank you to Maryse, Tammara Webber, Jenny and Gitte with Totallybookedblog.com, Tina Reber, Tracey Garvis-Graves, Abbi Glines, Karly Blakemore-Mowle, Autumn with Autumnreview.com, Madison with Madisonsays.com, Molly Harper with Toughcriticbookreviews.com, Rebecca Donovan, Sarah Ross, Lisa Kane, Gloria Green, Cheri Lambert, Trisha Rai, Katy Perez, Stephanie Cohen and Tonya Killian for taking the time to give me such detailed, incredibly helpful feedback. I know I annoyed the living hell out of most of you for the entire month of December, so thank you for putting up with my many, many, many “updated” files.
And ERMAGHERD! I can’t thank you enough, Sarah Augustus Hansen. Not only for making me the most beautiful cover ever, but for granting my requests for millions of changes, only to end up going with your original suggestion. Your patience with me knows no bounds. For that, I’m declaring Holder yours. Okay.
For my husband who insists he be listed in the acknowledgments of this book for suggesting that one word which helped me finish that one sentence in that one paragraph in that one scene. Without that word (it was floodgates, people) I don’t think this book would have been completed. <<< He requested I say that. But in a way he’s right. Without the one word he suggested, the book more than likely would have moved along just fine. But without his support, enthusiasm and encouragement, I could have never written a single word at all.
For my family (namely Lin, because she needs me more than anyone else.) I don’t really remember what everyone looks like and I’m having a hard time recalling most of your names, but now that this book is complete I vow to answer your phone calls, respond to your texts, look you in the eyes when you speak to me (rather than gazing off into the land of fiction), come to bed before four in the morning and never, ever check an email while I’m on the phone with you again. Until I start writing my next book, anyway.
And for the three best children in the whole wide world. I miss the living hell out of y’all. And yes, boys. Mommy just cussed. Again.
Writer. Mother. Ninja. Wife. Avett Fanatic. Hardcore Realist.
For information on Colleen and her books visit:
http://colleenhoover.com/
Colleen is the author of two New York Times bestsellers.
SLAMMED
POINT OF RETREAT
Falling in love can feel like poetry. Or it can feel like a slam to the heart.
Colleen Hoover’s romantic, emotion-packed debut novel unforgettably captures all the magic and confusion of first love, as two young people forge an unlikely bond before discovering that fate has other plans for them.
Following the unexpected death of her father, eighteen-year-old Layken becomes the rock for both her mother and younger brother. She appears resilient and tenacious, but inside, she's losing hope. Then she meets her new neighbor Will, a handsome twenty-one-year-old whose mere presence leaves her flustered and whose passion for poetry slams thrills her.
Not long after a heart-stopping first date during which each recognizes something profound and familiar in the other, they are slammed to the core when a shocking discovery brings their new relationship to a sudden halt. Daily interactions become impossibly painful as they struggle to find a balance between the feelings that pull them together and the forces that tear them apart. Only through the poetry they share are they able to speak the truth that is in their hearts and imagine a future where love is cause for celebration, not regret.
If you or someone you know needs assistance/information regarding sexual abuse, please contact www.rainn.org or call 1-800-656-HOPE
For your local suicide hotline number, please visit www.suicidehotlines.com, http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.com or call 800-273-TALK