Smashed

by Trina M. Lee

  Like salt poured on the wound came the unwelcome awareness that Kale and I were not so different. Rumor had it that he had stepped in to deal with the rebels on my behalf while I was away in Vegas. He had thwarted an assassination attempt on me, and he had only done it for Alexa. The same way I was now sparing him for her.

  I asked myself, as I had so many times before, why did I bother? Why did I fight so hard for this woman? The answer was always the same. She was what made me more than a vampire, more than a creature of the night. She gave me purpose and meaning. Without her, I was nothing.

  Before Shaz could grab my arm, I spun to fend him off. “Go home, pup. This is a bad time for you to be here.”

  “Don’t start with me, Arys. I’m not the enemy. At least, not tonight.” He fell into step beside me.

  “No, the enemy is me. I did this. I made her vampire, and I drove her into Sinclair’s bed.” I stopped suddenly and held my hands out. “Want to take a shot at me too? You might as well. You always want to.”

  Shaz grinned but it lacked mirth. “Not always. Usually, but not always. You could’ve really taken things from bad to worse in there.”

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t. I do have some self-control, pup, regardless of what you may think. Although I’m about to go and lose that control now.” I cast an angry glance back at The Wicked Kiss. That name itself had been the bane of my existence long before I knew Alexa.

  Suspicion curved Shaz’s lips into a stern frown. “Should I ask?”

  “I’d rather you not. Is there somewhere else you can be? Neither of us should be here tonight.”

  My expression remained neutral as did my tone. It was no concern of mine what Shaz did. Not really. And yet, it was. No way in hell was I leaving him to become a victim of The Wicked Kiss again.

  “Yeah, actually I’m heading to Doghead.” He took a few tentative steps toward his car, unwilling to take his gaze off me, as if he didn’t think it was a good idea. “So, I’ll catch you later then. Call me if anything comes up.”

  Alexa. That’s what he meant.

  “Will do. Take it easy.”

  I waited for him to get in his car and drive away. I hated to doubt him, but he was not going to fall back into the blood whore scene. Not on my watch.

  Truth be told, the pup had grown on me over the last year. Sure he made me want to hit things in a way very few others did, but he had proven himself to be worthy of both respect and Alexa.

  I knew damn well that if I had only lived a human life, I would never have lived in her lifetime, but Shaz still would have. Our twin flame union survived outside the natural law. It was meant to exist, but it came at a price, which ultimately meant that Shaz was the one she was meant to be with. Not me.

  That’s what made everything so fucking complicated. She was mine, meant to be mine, and yet she was also his. I’d accepted it from the start. What choice did I have? Shaz was still coming around. And Alexa, well, she was understandably conflicted and more than likely ready to tell us all to fuck off.

  Shaz was the only one though. The only man I could share her with. The only one I trusted to take care of her if something ever happened to me.

  Alexa had recently gotten it into her head that she needed to distance herself from him. I did not agree. She was feeling guilty about things that were not within her control. It would pass.

  When I was sure Shaz was long gone, I too left. No sense sticking around now. My encounter with Kale had gone exactly as planned. Unfortunately, it hadn’t left me feeling as good as I’d anticipated.

  As I’d told the pup, I sought out a scenario in which I could abandon self-control and unleash the horrible need to feel something die. Less than an hour later, I had a grown man on his knees begging for his life.

  Needing to punish someone in Kale’s place, I had sought out that person at a biker bar. It was a location guaranteed to breed assholes in need of a beating. Or worse.

  It was ridiculously easy to instigate a fight. In the parking lot of a seedy bar, I released the killer within. Begging served only to add fuel to my fire. Reducing a monster of a man to a sniveling wretch brought me only a moment of pleasure. Still, it was enough.

  After it was over, I stared down at the dead man. His blood decorated my face. I tasted it on my lips. Had he deserved to die this way? Hell if I knew. I was beyond caring.

  I never considered getting rid of the body. It was massacred. Nothing about the mess I’d made indicated an obvious vampire kill. It was someone else’s problem now.

  The awareness of being watched settled over me. Vampire. Not only that but a vampire I had created.

  Forgetting the dead biker, I slipped down the street, continuing on until I felt the presence follow as I’d expected. Only when we were safely away from human eyes did I turn and confront my watcher.

  He was tall and lanky with long hair the color of black drugstore dye. Having lived only nineteen human years, he was remarkably powerful for one so new. Thanks to my blood and his own dark powers, he emanated an almost palpable force.

  “What do you want, Gabriel?”

  Chapter Six

  Gabriel held up both hands in a show of peace. “I just want to talk, Arys.”

  I regarded him as if he were no more than an inconvenience, which he was. Turning him had been a choice made out of necessity rather than want. It had been a small price to pay to get rid of Shya’s mark.

  “So talk.”

  His presence caused me to be wary. He was Shya’s pet, but worse than that, he was also a deadly weapon. Anyone who aligned themselves with a demon could not be allowed an iota of trust. That was a level of darkness that few descended to. I might have been dark, but I wasn’t sell-my-soul dark. Or maybe that was wishful thinking. Either way, Gabriel was a threat, and I was prepared to treat him as such.

  “I felt like I had to find you,” he said, standing awkwardly with one hand grasping the wrist of the opposite arm. “Obviously it’s because we’re linked. I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry shit got so crazy. I don’t want you to see me as an enemy.”

  Though his body language was less than confident, his tone was strong. One day he could make a great vampire. Provided he survived long enough to master his many abilities without losing his sanity in the process.

  “Your closest ally is the demon who just tried to sacrifice the woman I love. That speaks for itself.” I half expected the demon in question to make an unwelcome appearance.

  “I guess it does,” he agreed. Shuffling his feet, he stared at the scuffed toes of his running shoes. It was a strong reminder that he was so young. Almost human still. But now he was a vicious killer.

  “Where is Shya anyway?” I asked. “Still off licking his wounds?”

  Gabriel raised a brow and a thin smile changed his face into something almost malicious. “Oh, he’s around.”

  “I’ll take that to mean that he’s lying low because Willow now has enough power to make Shya his bitch,” I chuckled.

  “I didn’t come to talk about him. I came to talk about you.”

  “What about me? If you’ve got a point, kid, get to it. I have places to be.” Crossing my arms, I issued a silent challenge: impress me or get lost.

  “I’m sure that I’m just tempting fate by even being here, but I was sure you or Alexa would hunt me down. And since you haven’t, well, I need to know where I stand with you. Are you going to kill me? Or…?”

  It was ballsy; that was for sure. Gabriel’s courage was impressive. However, I figured it had more to do with the fact that he spent a lot of time with demons. I suspected that he didn’t see me as much of a threat anymore, assuming that we were on an even playing field. He was wrong.

  I doubted his true intentions were to find out if I wanted him dead or not. If anything he’d been sent by his demon master to do a little recon. If Shya thought Gabriel had an in with me because I’d turned him, he was mistaken.

  To prove this, I snapped my fingers, pleased when Gabriel dropped
, his hands going to his head as he cried out in pain.

  “Do you think I’m stupid enough to believe you came here to make peace with me? You’re just a puppet with a demon’s hand up your ass. Give me a break, kid.”

  “No,” he grunted. “I’m here of my own free will. Shya has nothing to do with this. I swear.”

  I was disappointed when he didn’t fight back. I knew he had it in him. When he continued to cower there clutching his head, I eased up. It was just no fun if they don’t fight back.

  Grabbing him by the front of his jacket so as not to touch him, I dragged him close and glared into his youthful face. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you.”

  “I never wanted to harm you or Alexa,” he stammered. “Not really. I only helped Shya because I knew Alexa would rise again if she died as his sacrifice.”

  “That’s the only reason you helped Shya?” I shook my head in disbelief. “So it had nothing to do with the power and prestige he promised you?”

  He gave a slight nod that lacked commitment. “Ok, maybe it had something to do with that. But I wouldn’t have done it if anyone innocent had to die. I promise. I knew she would be ok.”

  “Shut. Up.” I gave him a shake, and he fell silent. “Don’t for a second think that you mean a damn thing to me just because I turned you. You don’t. You’re nothing but a deal I got sucked into. And now you’re a liability.”

  “I want a truce. Please.” His dark eyes were wide, fearful. He might have been a black magic practitioner with vampire blood raging through his system, but he still had a sense of self-preservation.

  “A truce? A truce comes with trust. And I don’t trust you.”

  “Just give me a chance to prove myself.” Gabriel held up both hands in a desperate gesture. “No demon owns me. My choices were my own. Just like this one is.”

  “Better not let Shya hear you say that. I’m pretty sure he thinks otherwise.”

  I released him with a shove. He recovered fast thanks to the vampire body I had bestowed upon him. Shya thought he owned the kid, but as I stood there sizing him up, I began to see an opportunity.

  My blood ran through Gabriel’s veins. Alexa could bind vampires to her with an ease I’d never known. Between the two of us, we could turn Gabriel into something pretty special. Something that would belong to us, not to Shya. Already I knew that Alexa would protest such a line of thought, but she wasn’t here right now.

  “He can think whatever he wants to,” Gabriel said, tossing long, disheveled hair out of his eyes. “I know I was just a deal to you, but I can be more than that. I can be worth keeping around.”

  I didn’t doubt that. It was the risk that came with keeping him around that concerned me. “I’m tempted,” I said. “Really, I am. But what can you give me that I can’t get elsewhere?”

  Gabriel drew himself up to his full height and looked me square in the eye. “I can see things nobody else can. I can tell you what I saw when we touched.”

  Those were the magic words that sent me from calm to boiling over in a split second. I stood there stiff with anger, unmoving. Of course I had wondered. The moment I’d touched him at Shya’s that night, it had crossed my mind that he might see something. But I’d been here before, and living with the knowledge of a future event was a kind of hell I didn’t wish to relive.

  “I don’t want to know. Believe me, I’ve got no use for your clairvoyant shit.”

  “Not even if it involves Alexa’s sister?” There was no taunt evident in his tone, no snide intent. Somehow that made it worse. All I heard was a threat.

  The intent to hurt him was all I needed to have him screaming. He begged me to stop, his words broken and pained.

  “Especially if it involves Alexa’s sister.” Maybe there was no keeping Gabriel around. Death might be best for him after all. “Trying to manipulate me with something like that is fucking low, kid. You do want to die, don’t you?”

  “Fine. Forget I said anything. I just thought you’d want to know, and you can’t blame me for trying to stay alive. I am not ready to die again!” His shout ended on a wail. He pounded a fist against the ground in frustration, bloodying his knuckles. Yet, he never raised a hand against me.

  “For fuck’s sakes,” I muttered, dropping my hold on him. “Get up.”

  Slowly he rose, eyeing me warily. “Look, man, I’m sorry. It’s all I have to work with. It’s not like I can overpower you.”

  “If I let you live,” I hissed. “I don’t want to hear another word out of your mouth about Juliet O’Brien. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” he said with a tired nod. “Not a word. She doesn’t even exist.”

  “Except that she does. And now you’ve gone and put things in my head that shouldn’t be there. Don’t think I’m going to forget that any time soon.” I was furious that he tried such a seedy tactic. I was also somewhat proud. No vampire made by me was a coward. Flighty perhaps. Even a little unstable. But never a coward.

  Gabriel shrugged, offering no further apology. He stood there looking like a dog who’d just been kicked. It was convincing enough to make me question the validity of it.

  I pinned him with a fierce glare. “Don’t mistake my mercy for weakness. The second you give me a reason to think you’re up to something, you die. I don’t give a good goddamn if it pisses Shya off either. Oh, and another thing. If I find out you’re making vampires for him, I will destroy you and every damn one that you make.”

  The atmosphere was tense with the weight of my promise. We stared at one another until Gabriel’s composure faltered.

  “He wanted me to do it. That was before everything went down. I haven’t though and I don’t want to.” Something like sorrow crossed his face. It tugged at the pesky sympathetic spark that flickered deep within me. I suppose I should have been grateful to have Alexa’s light, but at times it produced more guilt than I deemed necessary. Though I imagined it was much the same for her with the darkness.

  “Are you asking for help?” I questioned, feeling oddly obligated to this vampire I’d made. It was an unwelcome sensation.

  “Not yet. I’ll deal with it.” Gabriel’s expression hardened. He thrust out a hand and said, “Thank you. For not killing me. I know Alexa wanted you to do it when you turned me.”

  I stared at his hand and laughed. “Thanks, kid, but I’d rather not. Better watch out for Alexa. If she comes across you, she probably won’t be as forgiving.”

  “I saw her, before it happened. I touched her, and I saw how bad it would be when she became a vampire.” He shook his head as if it were a shame.

  “Alexa isn’t like us, Gabriel. She’s a creature of light forced to live with a hunger rooted in darkness. You and me, we’ve always been ruled by the dark. We can’t even begin to understand what she’s going through.” There was an unspoken warning in my words. I trusted that Gabriel was intelligent enough to catch it.

  With a nod, he said, “I should’ve let her help me. Everything happened so fast. I made some stupid fucking choices.”

  “As we all have. And you will have more to make yet. Choose wisely.” I wasn’t the best person to hand out advice, yet I felt obligated to say something.

  Gabriel made a sour face and shrugged. “I’ll let you get back to your night. Thanks, Arys.”

  I watched him go, walking down the street with a lanky shuffle. I hoped like hell that I hadn’t made a mistake by letting him live. His remark about Juliet stuck with me, burrowing inside my mind to take root like a parasite.

  Whatever it was, it had to be bad.

  * * * *

  Using the burner phone from the glove box of my car, I placed a call to Juliet. She answered with a short, clipped greeting that went from professional to personal once I announced myself.

  “I thought you were going to do something about Alexa,” she snapped. “An agent has gone missing, and Briggs is sure that she’s behind it. He’s insisting we issue a capture order for her.”

  “A missing a
gent?” I pondered this, curious.

  “Sylvia Rollins,” Juliet said. “She was one of the agents in charge of Kale Sinclair when he was in our facility. She has a way of dealing with vampires that Alexa found distasteful. Now she’s missing. You put it together.”

  I chuckled. Yeah, that sounded like Alexa. The woman could hold a grudge.

  “If Alexa has her then don’t expect to see her alive again.” It meant nothing to me if Alexa wanted to settle some unfinished business with a torture happy FPA agent. I was only disappointed that I couldn’t watch.

  “I don’t expect you to give a damn about Sylvia, but you should give a damn about what will happen to Alexa if she ends up our prisoner.” Juliet’s tone held a note of concern rather than a threat. “My hands are tied, Arys. I don’t have the clout to change orders like this. We will be hunting her.”

  “Like I said, then I will be hunting you. Every one of you who makes a play for her. Should I come by and tell that to Briggs myself or can you handle passing that message along?” My tone very clearly held the promise of bad things to come.

  Juliet rushed to respond. “No, don’t do that. I can tell him. Nobody has to die, ok?”

  I picked at a mark on the seat of the car beside my leg. “Can you meet me somewhere? I just want to talk about this. Face to face. You pick the place.”

  There was hesitation on the other end as she analyzed my request. I thought about what Gabriel had said and wondered if I should have found out what it was he’d seen. No, I decided; I didn’t want to know. Just because he saw something to do with Juliet and me didn’t mean he saw the worst-case scenario. I would never harm Alexa’s sister. On second thought, it was very unlikely that I would do such a thing, though I suppose it was always possible.

  “I can meet you at the Tim Horton’s on 104th in an hour.”

  “Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

  I hung up the phone and tossed it back into the glove box. I wasn’t entirely sure where I was going with this little meeting. If she was as much of a stubborn, hardheaded woman as I suspected she was, I expected Juliet to come alone. That’s what I was counting on.