Wandering Heart

by Hestand, Rita

"All I want to do tonight is go to bed."

  "Alone?"

  "Alone," she affirmed.

  "All right, darling. I know you're right. I'm tired too. Let's call it a night and start anew tomorrow. But at least I can kiss you in some privacy." He pulled her back into the cradle of his arms and kissed her thoroughly.

  Strangely enough Angela felt numb. The fact that he had to announce his intentions was another turn-off. She felt as though he were reading a script or something. She tried to respond; she opened her mouth to him, gave him free range, but the kiss was short-lived when Cooper strolled back into the kitchen for a glass of milk, and to tell her that he had bought more chicken wire that morning.

  "Such is life." Angela chuckled at the intrusion. She had half expected something to happen. It always had.

  Greg seemed frustrated.

  After a quick apology, and a short conversation about the chicken wire, Angela walked Greg to his car and kissed him once more, thoroughly. He deserved it. She threw herself into his arms, and let his hands wander over her freely, trying to force a more avid response from herself. But the kiss never took flight. Although his movements were amorous, her mood wasn't.

  Greg left with a satisfied smile, though, not knowing he had failed to elicit a real response from her. Perhaps they were trying too hard.

  When she turned to go back into the house she saw Cooper leaving and called to him. "Night, Coop."

  Turning around slowly, he stared through the darkness at her. Funny she didn't have to see his eyes to feel them. They seemed to see right through her.

  "So, when is the wedding?"

  Angela shrugged negligently. She took her high heels off and carried them in her hand. "Oh, I don't know yet. I mean, we haven't really set a date."

  Cooper nodded, coming a little closer as he threw his jacket over his shoulder again. "He seems like a nice guy."

  "You think so? I'm glad you approve."

  "I didn't say that. I just said he seems like a nice guy. Look," he said staring into her face. "I'm sorry about the interruption. It wasn't intentional. But by the time I realized what I had done, it was too late. I figured I should tell you about the wire before you asked what I spent the money on."

  Angela had a petty cash fund in an old cigar box, and she had informed Cooper where it was kept if he needed supplies. But lately she hadn't been checking on the money. Until this moment she never realized how much she trusted Cooper Johnson.

  She moved toward the back screen door, and shook her head slowly. "Don't worry about it."

  "What's so funny?" he asked standing in the shadows, a slow smile spreading on his face.

  "Oh, I guess I expected an interruption. It's commonplace in his line of work. Besides, I probably should be apologizing to you for ruining your evening with Maxine."

  He moved closer, a smile lighting the shadows, as the one kitchen light silhouetted him. "Maxine is quite a gal. Her visit was a little unexpected. Maybe I'm getting old, but she moves a little too fast for me. Course, I hope I'm not reading her all wrong, but I think she was coming on to me tonight. I managed to distract her with Josh. Maybe I'm misjudging her intentions. After all, I don't know her very well."

  Angela leaned against the door, letting her head fall against the frame. "No, I don't think you're misreading her at all. I think she's very interested in you, Coop."

  He shrugged then chuckled softly, a nice sound, Angela thought.

  "So, do you like her?" Why had she asked that?

  Now he was close, so close in fact he could touch her if he reached the distance. A warmth seemed to surround them. His eyes searched hers in the darkness.

  "She's a good looking woman, if that's what you mean. A lot of fun."

  Of course he liked her! What was she thinking?

  But then he added, even softer. "But she's no Angel."

  Why did he have to say something so—sweet?

  Angela's heart fluttered like a butterfly, and her stomach churned up and over like a roller coaster. Every nerve in her body seemed to scream to life. She throbbed with a current that threatened to explode if he came an inch closer. Words, they were just words.

  A long arm shot out and over her head as he leaned into her a little. Not crowding her, not smothering her. Just close. And for some silly reason she wished he'd kiss her. Her knees felt like silly putty, and her breathing became shallow and sporadic. She felt a cold sweat breaking over her skin. She was clammy.

  "Greg doesn't like you calling me Angel," she barely got the words out. Her voice had become unfamiliar.

  The short silence was unbearable.

  Then suddenly her senses took over. Her nostrils took in the sweet clean smell of him. A smell she was quickly memorizing. Her skin prickled where his warm breath fanned her. And his eyes were pinning her to the spot through the thick darkness. It didn't seem to matter she wasn't going anywhere. She couldn't move if she had to.

  "Too bad," he quipped lowly. Then ever so slowly, as though giving her time to object, the back of his fingers stroked her cheek. Through the darkness she saw his eyes glittering into hers like brilliant diamonds. "You know," his voice seemed to have changed, too, "if he really wants to keep you, he should do a better job of it. He should put a ring on your finger. Otherwise a fella might think you're fair game."

  "A fella? What fella?" How had she managed to get the words out?

  "Let's don't play games, Angel," he rasped, as he caressed her name. Another finger gently lifted her chin to the dim moonlight. "I like the dress. You look good in blue. But then," he paused, his smile kissing her. "You look good in anything." Then after a long sigh he added, "God, he's a fool."

  He sighed heavily and shook his head. "You better get in the house while you until can."

  "Coop , I . . ."

  But he was gone. And she was completely mesmerized.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Normally Angela would have followed Greg and Maxine to the office after Greg's speech at the mall, but it was Saturday and there was a storm brewing and Angela didn't like storms. She had been a willing gopher all morning and Greg seemed thankful. She had told Greg she was taking the rest of the day off.

  When she got home there was no sign of Josh or Cooper. She went inside and grabbed the flashlight, her raincoat and boots. She struggled with her boots as she walked toward the front door.

  Until she opened the front door and saw the screen door flung wide open, she hadn't realized how bad the wind was gusting. Dark clouds hung like a warning in the sky. She put on her raincoat, glancing about.

  She headed for the barn upon instinct, when she heard a conversation going on that stopped her dead in her tracks. She shouldn't be eavesdropping, she decided, but she couldn't stop herself.

  *****

  "Aren't they beauties, Coop? Just look at them; nine piglets." Josh said with pride.

  Angela smiled to herself and was about to open the barn door when she heard Josh's voice break a little with emotion.

  "I can't give them up, I just can't."

  "Hey," Cooper's voice softened, "hold on there, pal, who's asking you to?"

  "Mom will. You know she will. When Mom marries Greg, she'll ask me to. And it's all Greg's fault. He wouldn't have anything to do with Partner, let alone nine piglets."

  "Sounds to me like you're jumping to a lot of conclusions, Josh," Cooper admonished with an undertone of understanding.

  "Yeah, maybe so. But I've tried. Honest, I have. We just don't have anything to talk about. He doesn't like kids. I heard him talking on the phone to a friend and he said he humored me for Mom's sake." Josh must have moved, for she could barely hear him now. "I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I don't want to leave the farm, Coop. It's the only home we've ever had…me and Mom. I don't want much. Honest, I don't. But I love it here. Sometimes, I feel like running away. I just don't see any other way out of this."

  "Yeah, I can relate to that. I've been there myself."

  "You?"

 
"Yeah, me." He agreed. "What? You think you invented the idea of running away? Not likely. I guess I didn't think anyone cared about me at the time either. Oh, I knew I was important on the farm, as far as work went. But I don't think I was important to them as a person. My family played favorites between my brother and me. I swore I'd never do that to any kids of mine. At least, that's how I saw the situation. I decided pretty early on that my dad didn't like me. Mom was okay, but she did everything Dad said. So, I was on my own, so to speak."

  "Geez…"

  "Yeah. I had it all planned out, too. I was going to hop a freight train and leave in the middle of the night."

  "Yeah, that sounds like a good plan."

  "I thought so too at first. But I didn't quite make it. Funny, I was sitting there at the edge of the barn, with my bag packed, a peanut butter sandwich tucked neatly in my pocket, and the next thing I knew, it was morning. So much for well laid plans."

  "So, what happened? Did you ever run away?" Josh asked waiting for his answer.

  "Nope. I soon realized that one day I would be as big as they were, and I could do what I wanted. So, I waited."

  "Gosh, that's pretty cool to have a plan."

  "Yeah, maybe, but I until didn't go through with it. You see, I realized I'd have to find my own food, make my own money, and support myself, somehow. And I didn't have a clue how to start. I was a farm boy, like you, Josh. In fact, the thought scared me to death. Now, you, you've got folks that love you, Josh. That's different. You wouldn't want to worry your mother, would you?"

  "Heck, no. I love Mom. It's just Greg. I don't like him. I've tried. I've tried awful hard. But he's always talking politics, and how things are gonna be when I get older. What about now? What about today and tomorrow?"

  She heard a noise, but she couldn't see what was happening. "I can understand your point, to a degree. But don't you think you should stick around long enough to see if Greg treats her right? I mean, you don't want to run out on her before you know if things are going to work out. She's alone except for you, Josh. You're big enough to know sometimes things don't work out the way you plan. What if he hurt her? You know, you've gotta sort of take care of her."

  "Gee, I…I hadn't thought about that. I hadn't thought about that at all. I guess I've been kinda selfish. Thinking how I felt, not her. I know she's lonely. She hasn't had anybody but me and Uncle Henry."

  "Yeah, women get lonely after a while even though they love you. They until get lonely."

  "Man, I'm glad we had this talk. I guess I wasn't looking at the whole thing. But, what about you, Coop? Will you stay when they get married?"

  There was a long silence before Cooper finally answered.

  "I don't know, Josh. They might be thinking of selling this place and moving into town. Doesn't he have a pretty nice place in town? There are all sorts of possibilities, but what I do isn't important. You'll be a family then."

  There was a silence, and then Cooper continued. "Look, Josh, you, your mom, and Greg are going to be a real family. A real family. And even though I'm sure Greg could never take the place of your dad..."

  "No, he couldn't. I mean I know I never knew my dad. And I'd like you to know I appreciate you telling me about him. Sorta man to man." Josh face twisted into a frown. "I never liked to ask Mom. She always gets kinda misty about it. You know—sort of female like. I feel like I kinda know him now. You know what I mean, putting everything together. Man, it's too bad they don't let kids choose their parents."

  Cooper chuckled softly. "Wouldn't that be something? Just promise me you'll try to get along, Josh. For her sake."

  "Okay, I'll try. For her sake."

  "Give Greg a chance. I've met him, and he seems like a fairly nice guy, as far as I could tell. He comes on a little stuffy, but I'll bet he's pretty regular, once you get to know him. And consider this. After they are married you will have the best of everything, pal. Have you even given that a thought?"

  When Josh didn't answer, Cooper went on. "I'm sure your mom has."

  "She doesn't have to marry him on my account. I got the best of everything right here. Don't you see? Can't she see that? I don't need anything else. I got Tim and Pete, my two best friends nearby, and Partner, and now the piglets and the best mom, and…and I even have you now. When they get married all that might disappear."

  "But I'll give him a chance, for her sake. He doesn't know anything about baseball, hunting, or fishing or stock car races. Can you see him dissecting frogs? I don't even think we speak the same language. All that stuff is the best of everything to me," Josh complained. "Besides, he doesn't like Partner either. I guess that's what set me off first about him. He called him a mongrel the last time he was here. And I can't give him up. Greg has a registered pit bull, and he's meaner than a junkyard dog. He says a good dog must be trained. But Partner does everything he's told."

  "Maybe you won't have to give everything up," Cooper encouraged.

  "Yeah, maybe." But he didn't sound convinced.

  "There might be another solution, Josh."

  "What?"

  "I might be interested in buying the farm, if your mother sells. Then you and Partner could come out here and work for me. You could help me raise the piglets."

  "Really? Gee, if you bought it I could come out whenever Mom let me." Josh sounded excited.

  "Maybe. I'm not promising, but it's a possibility. Now, why don't you check on the stock before the storm hits? Make sure they've taken cover," Cooper instructed. "I've got to put stuff up in here, and store the gear away, so we can make a temporary home for Elmerine and her piglets. Then we'll check the house and see if everything is tied down proper."

  "Okay. Thanks Coop."

  There was another silence then Josh added, "It'd be simpler if you'd marry Mom. Don't you like her?"

  Cooper hesitated with his answer... "Of course I like her, Josh. Your mom is a beautiful person, but I'm afraid she's already got things planned a different way."

  "But you do like her, don't you?" Josh continued.

  "Yes, Josh, I like her. Now scoot."

  He liked her too much, that was the problem.

  Josh bumped into Angela on the way out and shouted as he ran, "I'll be right back, Mom. I've got to make sure the hens are in the hen house."

  It sounded as though Josh were making a quick getaway after that last statement.

  "Don't forget to close the corral gate," she hollered back.

  "I won't."

  She went inside the barn and spotted Cooper loosening a bale of hay and spreading it into the stalls. Apparently, Josh and Cooper had everything under control and there was little reason to worry about the storm. She glanced over at the piglets and smiled. There were four blacks, two spotted and three pinks

  *****

  "Hi, can I help?"

  Cooper whirled around. He couldn't control the tightening in his gut every time he saw her. He hated what she did to him, but he couldn't stop it any more than he could stop breathing. 'What are you doing home so early?"

  "Well, I always come home early when it storms. That is, when it's possible. I'm not really afraid of them, but I realize they can do a lot of damage. Besides, it's Saturday and I think I deserve a day off. I see the two of you have been busy with Elmerine this afternoon."

  "Yeah, Josh is so proud. I hesitated letting him watch, but he handled it real well, without a minimum of questions." There was a long silence then he shot her a glance. The hood of her raincoat fell back and her red curls bounced against her neck and face. "Why don't you go secure the windows in the house? I think this storm might get a little rough."

  He didn't like what the sight of her did to him. His hands itched to touch her, and he knew that would be a mistake.

  "All right, but first I'd like to talk to you."

  She wanted to talk and his insides were burning like an inferno. Talk wasn't on his mind. He needed to be rid of her. Never had a woman gotten under his skin so fast and so deep.

  "It's n
ot a good time." Cooper hesitated not giving her the benefit of another look.

  "Maybe, but I overheard your conversation with Josh. Actually, I was listening." She turned back to Cooper.

  "Well, you're going to have a time getting him away from here, I guess you heard that much. Especially now," he glanced at Elmerine and smiled. "This is home to Josh. Said it's the only home you've had. I'm afraid he's taken root."

  Angela's gaze fell to the piglets again.

  "I guess that's a pretty big problem for you," Cooper added as he glanced over at her. He sensed the sadness in her, and for the first time he wished he could make a difference. "I mean, Josh wanting to stay here."

  "Yeah," she admitted. She moved closer to him. "I can't blame him, though." She sighed heavily, bending down and petting the piglets for a second. They were warm and wiggly and reaching for their mama. "I've grown to love it here too. It's been a real home for us; a lot of hard work, but a home. Neither of us ever minded the work. It was ours."

  Cooper leaned over the railing for a bucket and went to fill it with water by the side of the barn.

  Why didn't she go in the house? If she knew what was tearing his guts up right now she'd run. He'd been watching her for days and every day he was more drawn to her.

  "Greg wants to live in town, then?" he added when he saw she wasn't budging.

  Angela tipped her head. "His house is much grander. And if he's elected I'm sure he'll insist on that. You can't blame him; he lives in a mansion. But somehow, mansions are never really homes, are they? And he will be sprinting all over the country, back and forth to Washington. It would be nice to be able to keep both places up."

  "Is he that sure he's going to win?"

  "Yes."

  Cooper nodded and continued to work. There were a million reasons why he didn't need this woman, but right now, he couldn't remember one. "I suppose he will have an image to keep. But you know, this farm is nothing to sneeze at." He carefully set out food for Elmerine, and made sure the piglets were getting milk, moving a couple so they could reach their destination, before he continued. "It's been in your family for a mighty long time, according to what your uncle told me. With a little hard work, it could be quite grand, too."