Summer Shifter Nights
Page 6
“I think they are motivated to. And the will is there. But what Michael is asking, is not short-term. And that is where the problem lies.” Ryan placed a cup of coffee on the table in front of Josie and then sat down in a chair, with one of his own.
“I think you underestimate the people here.” She sat down opposite him.
“Persuade me,” he said evenly.
“OK. I will.” She drank some coffee, feeling the buzz of caffeine enter her brain. “This is their home. You know there are shifters in town, and you, yourself, say how much you like it here. Is it such a leap to believe that people would go that extra mile to make that possible?”
“Good argument. And I don’t disagree. But what happens when these extra shifts, for less reward, cut into family time?” Ryan began to eat his sandwich. “Oh, this is good.”
“Thanks.” She ate too, pondering her response. “If you had a family, with young children, wouldn’t you give up time now, for their future? These people have lived here for generations. They want their children to continue to live here, under the shelter of the mountain. And that is not going to happen if all the jobs suddenly disappear.”
“Other jobs could be created.”
“Not impossible, but difficult in the current economic climate,” Josie said.
“True.” Ryan finished his sandwich, and sipped his coffee. “But that brings me around to the next point. In the current economic climate, Silver Springs Recycling is too exposed. Even if the employees do this extra work, there is no financial cushion. What if a machine breaks down? There is no backup.”
“Then help us, Ryan. Help us.” She spoke with such emotion, she had to pull back and let herself breathe before she continued. “I have spent the last five years building this farm up. Repairing the house, breeding animals, and digging the earth before planting crops. It’s hard work. But I get up each morning, wanting to face the challenges of the day, because I am growing something. Not just what gets planted in the dirt, but the people who come here to help get themselves well. Both mentally and physically.”
“And that is what you want me to do? Grow something?” Ryan asked.
“Why not? Why not take a chance and help Michael? You say you want to change your life, then do it.”
“If only it was that simple,” Ryan said.
“What makes it complicated?” Josie asked.
“You.”
She nearly choked on her coffee. “Me?”
“Yes. You. You must know what I mean, the way I look at you. The way I’d do anything for you. And I’m afraid that I am making decisions based on that. As I shook your brother’s hand today, I wondered if we would be friends when he was my brother-in-law.”
“What?”
“Come on, Josie. You said your brother’s wife was a shifter. You know we bond for life. So, you must know you are my mate, and I’d do anything you wanted. And that clouds my judgment.”
“No.” She shook her head furiously. “How dare you?”
“How dare I?” he asked.
“Yes. How dare you come here, act like you are on some personal journey, and then make fun of me like this?”
“Like what?” Ryan asked, confused.
“Who told you? Who told you that Donny said the exact same thing?” she asked, her voice breaking.
“Donny was a shifter?”
“As if you didn’t know,” she spat, getting up and going to the door.
“I didn’t know.” Ryan got up and went to her. “Josie, I’m so sorry. I had no idea he fooled you in such a despicable way.”
“Why do you think Michael trusted him?” Josie said hotly. “That is why this is all my fault. And you took that, and what? Decided it would be fun to play with the country girl? All this talk about leaving your rich-kid lifestyle. And I believed you. I felt sorry for you.”
“No,” he assured her. “What I said was true. You are my mate.”
“Get out!”
“Josie, think this through.”
“I have. And I want you to leave.” She stood, her face looking outside to where the sun shone down, but the warmth had faded, leaving Josie chilled to the bone.
10
Ryan
“Wait, Josie, listen to me, we are supposed to be together,” Ryan said.
“You already told Lynsey you were spoken for.”
“I meant you,” Ryan said. “I knew as soon as I saw you, that you were the one.”
“Heard it all before,” Josie said bitterly. “And what’s your next line—I’ll let you have the extension on the loan if you agree to be my wife?”
Ryan faltered; he would be lying if he said that had not crossed his mind. But he would never use that against her. “Josie, it’s not like that.”
“No?” she asked.
“No. I want to be with you. But I want you to be happy. I understand how much Donny hurt you.”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t think you do. I don’t think you can have any idea what it was like, to be told you were the love of someone’s life, that you were meant to be together forever. That fate had brought you together, and then to be left alone. And as if that wasn’t enough, for that person to make you feel it, believe it. Then just punch them in the gut, as they ruined your life, and the lives of people you love.”
“I won’t do that to you. I can’t.” Ryan closed the space between them, needing Josie to know what he said was true. Needing her to believe in him.
“Don’t touch me,” Josie said, wrapping her arms around herself and backing away. “Please, just go.”
“Josie, please. Let’s talk about this.”
“Not now. I have work to do,” Josie said nodding. “I have people who depend on me, and those people are out there. Not in here.”
“Tell me how to make this right,” Ryan asked. He needed her to tell him, because how could he make it right when he wasn’t even sure exactly how he had made it wrong? Josie’s reaction seemed completely over the top. However, he could read the hurt and pain in her eyes. Hurt and pain inflicted by Donny.
“I don’t know,” Josie said. “I’m not even sure you can put it right. When Donny left, I swore to myself I was done with dating.”
“Josie, you have to trust me.”
“How can I when I don’t trust myself?” Josie sobbed. “I’ve seen the way you look at me. And part of me dared hope that your looks were sincere. But I shut that part of me down, because that’s how Donny looked at me. The exact same eyes, the exact same, I can never hurt you. I can’t let myself buy into it again.”
Ryan longed to shout at her, tell her to believe him, that he wouldn’t lie to her. But Donny had done such a number on her, it would make no difference. If he was going to get through to Josie, he was going to have to use his head, and prove it to her.
“OK, I’ll go,” he said gently. “But will you at least promise me you will talk to me later?”
“No. No promises,” Josie said. “None.”
Ryan could not leave like this. She was so upset, holding her tears and anger inside her. He wanted to be the one to comfort her, to hold her and tell her it was going to be OK. That he would make it his lifelong mission to make it OK.
Behind him, there was a bang on the door, and a voice called, “Are you OK in there, Josie?”
“Anna,” Josie said, wiping her tears. “Yes, everything is fine. I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.” Then to Ryan she said, “Please go.”
“I will.” He moved to the door, but before he left, he said, “Before I came here, I was happy in my life. Well, content, at least. Being here, being around you, and what you try to do, it’s changed me. Isn’t that what this place is for?”
She stared at him, eyes bright with tears. “It is.”
“Don’t I deserve the same chance as Anna?” he asked.
She sighed, her body shuddering. “You do.”
He put his hand on the door knob. “I’ll wait for you. Whenever, if ever you are ready to talk.”
r /> “Ryan, I can’t promise you anything.”
“I know,” he said. “But I’ll still wait.” He opened the door, and in a bid to make it right between them in any small way, he added, “And don’t worry about the loan. I’ll take care of it.”
“No.” She sprang forward, moving close to him. He inhaled her scent, hoping it was not the last time he would be near her. “I don’t want this hanging over us.”
“Us.” He raised his head and looked at her, his hand reaching out to stroke her cheek. “That is all I need, the hope that there is a chance that one day there will be an us.”
“For a wealthy man, you are easy to please,” she said softly.
“Very easy,” he said, his fingers stroking her cheek and brushing her lips, where he longed to press his lips in a kiss to seal their relationship.
“I wish I could be what you want me to be,” she said. “But…”
“You’re hurt, I get that completely. And I should have handled it better. I should have told you from the moment we met. But I’ve kept who I am trapped inside for so many years. It’s hard to put yourself out there. I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve.”
She nodded. “I know. I just need to get my head around things. My heart isn’t ready to love. It isn’t ready to let someone else in.”
“Will you do one thing for me, Josie?”
“I can try.”
“Will you forgive yourself?” Ryan asked. “You are not to blame for what Donny did. You might have let him in, but that does not make you stupid, or naïve. That makes you hopeful. Look at everything you try to do here for other people. That is because you live in hope. Don’t let a jerk like him take that from you.”
“I can’t let go of the thought that he is out there, laughing at us. At me. That he gets to walk away and we get to suffer.” She put her hand up to stop him talking. “Please don’t say you can ease that suffering with your money. I know you can. But…”
“But then you will feel indebted to me.”
“If we were ever together… Donny would still be there. He will cast a shadow over the rest of my life.”
“I thought that about my dad, when he left. My mom, she was so upset. And I watched my brother work so damn hard, giving up everything for us. And even when he had enough money, it never really was enough. It was as if he had to prove himself. Again, and again. Until he met his mate. Kelly changed his world.” He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. “Let me change yours.”
She kissed him, her lips moving against his, the sensations building inside him like a raging volcano, needing to explode. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, never wanting to relinquish this hold on her.
But then she pulled away. “I’ll think about what you said.”
His lips buzzed where they had been locked with hers, but his arms missed the feel of her body already. “I’ll be waiting. Forever.”
“Forever is a long time.”
“I know,” he said, and then walked away, not looking back, unable to trust himself not to run back to her and make her see he was the love of her life.
Ryan drove back to the tavern; he needed to clear his head before he went back to Silver Springs Recycling. The decisions he had to make were now ten times more difficult. If he called in the loan, and the company went under, he would never be welcome in the town. But if he extended the loan, Josie would believe he was doing it for her. And if things went wrong, she would take the responsibility for that too.
He let himself into his room and lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. The empty feeling inside him reminded him of those days after his dad had left. His mom was a shifter, his dad a human. His dad could never know what it was like when he walked out, how bereft his mom was. At the time, Ryan could not relate either. But now, he could feel the big gaping hole in his heart, which threatened to expand outwards and consume him if Josie didn’t agree to be his.
So, what the hell do I do?
Give her time, his bear answered. Give her time.
But how much time? And what should he do now? Go on with his life as normal? It was never going to be normal again. Not without her.
“Hey, Asshole,” a voice he recognized as Anna’s called from outside his hotel room door.
It was quickly followed by Lynsey’s voice, cautioning, “Small voice. Less attitude, or I’ll make you sit this out.”
Ryan smiled. He was about to get it with both barrels from Josie’s friends. “Maybe I deserve it.” He got up and opened the door. “Hello, ladies.”
“Don’t hello, ladies me,” Anna said. “What did you do to Josie?”
“Calm down, Anna. Let me handle this,” Lynsey said, then to Ryan, she said, “Spill.”
Ryan cocked his head on one side and then asked Anna, “Does Lynsey know?” He raised his eyebrows and looked at her with meaning.
“Know what?” Anna asked. “That you are a jerk. I think the whole of town knows that by now.”
Lynsey dug the teenager in the ribs. “Not helping.” She turned to Ryan. “If you mean about shifters, then yes, I know. And I’m guessing that from what Anna said, and how upset Josie is, you are her mate. Or at least you have told her you are her mate.”
“Correct,” Ryan said. “Is she really upset?”
“What do you think, fuckface?” Anna asked.
“I am going to wash your mouth out,” Lynsey said. “If you want to help Josie, stow it.”
“Sorry,” Anna said. “But you didn’t see her. You didn’t see how upset he left Josie.”
“I saw her before, after Donny, it doesn’t take much imagination to figure this has opened those not-so-old wounds. The question is, what are we going to do about it?” Lynsey asked.
“She wants some time,” Ryan said.
“And what do you propose to do with that time?” Lynsey asked.
“I get the feeling you are going to tell me.”
“Oh, yeah,” Anna said. “It starts with you packing your bags and leaving town.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Ryan said.
“You might, when I give you this.” Lynsey handed over an envelope.
“Are you paying me to leave town?” Ryan asked.
“Oh, honey, I would pay you for some things, but leaving town is not one of them.” Lynsey put a painted nail on the envelope. “That is a dossier of information on Donny. Mostly gathered by Donna Trevant. She is more than the town gossip. But I added some credit card trails in there too, that I got from some guy who stayed here a couple of weeks ago and was in the PI business. We lost him. But I figured a big, rich man like you, with so much at stake, might have the resources to bring that asshat to justice once and for all.”
“Make Donny pay.” Ryan looked inside the envelope.
“Literally. Josie needs closure. And the town needs that money back.” She patted Ryan on the shoulder. “Do I need to tell you not to come back unless you have that slippery dick in your hand?” She lifted her hand and squeezed, as if wringing a cloth really hard.
“I would hate to get on the wrong side of you ladies,” Ryan said.
“Then don’t,” Anna replied. Then her face softened. “Josie has helped me so much. Now we have to return the favor.”
“I’ll find him,” Ryan said. “I promise.”
11
Josie
“Have you seen or heard from Ryan?” Michael asked.
Josie had gone over there under the pretense of taking some vegetables and fruit. In reality, she needed to talk things over with her brother and Petra. But the worried look on Michael’s face told her he had enough problems of his own.
“No.” Josie placed the box of vegetables on the table, taking a moment to feel a sense of accomplishment that these had been grown on her farm, by people she cared about. The scene with Ryan, and him declaring his love for her, as his mate, had left her shaken and questioning everything about her life. “I thought he was coming back to the recycling plant.
“So di
d I.” Michael lifted up the coffee pot and she nodded. Although she needed something stronger than coffee. “But he called to say something had come up, and he wouldn’t make it back, and that he would be in touch in a couple of days.”
“In a couple of days?” Josie asked. “What does that mean?”
“That he’s seen enough and has made his decision?” Michael asked, which explained her brother’s concern.
“You think he’ll call in the loan?” Josie asked.
Michael shrugged. “I should have gone around with him this morning. It was stupid of me to let him go with Pete.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Petra said, coming into the kitchen, carrying Josie’s niece, Livy. “Hey, there is Aunty Josie. Want a cuddle?” Petra passed Livy to Josie. “You look as if you need more than a cuddle, Josie.”
“It’s been a tough day,” Josie replied, kissing Livy’s cheek, to which she got a gurgle in return.
“A tough day? It’s been a tough couple of months,” Petra said. “But you know what? You two are the most optimistic, together people I know. Correction, I have ever known. So, you need to wipe those miserable expressions off your faces and get back in the game.”
“We could, if we knew what game we were playing,” Michael replied.
“You two have never waited around to be told what game it is. You are the game-makers.”
Josie sighed. “I feel like a mistake-maker.”
“We all make mistakes, Josie. All of us. You got duped, live with it. Don’t let it live with you.”
“Well, that makes a whole load of sense,” Michael said to his wife with a grin, showing Josie a glimpse of her brother from before this had all happened.
“I get it from you two.” Petra walked across the kitchen to the open back door, looking out. “This is your town. These people are your friends, your family, and your employees. What advice would you give them if they came to you with this?”
Josie and Michael looked at each other. “You have a wise wife, Michael.” She went to Petra and kissed her on the cheek. “I love you all.”
“And we all love you. I mean, I have to put up with your brother, because we’re mates. But I love you for who you are.”
Josie giggled. “You would love my brother, whether you were mates or not.”