Jaded

by Rhonda Sheree

  “That’s good. That’s better. You want to talk about it?”

  She shook her head. Pulled away from him.

  “No. I’ll be fine.”

  “I thought you got rid of the creep.”

  “He didn’t hit me.”

  “It was another guy?” he asked. “How many boyfriends do you have?”

  “I gotta get out of here.” She wiped her face and tried to pull away from him.

  He kept his hands firmly around her arms.

  “You want to go for a walk?”

  “I need to get out of here for good. I can’t stay here anymore.”

  Rodney lowered his chin to his chest, closed his eyes, and breathed deeply.

  “I can’t stop you. But I get the sense that you’re leaving because of me and that bothers me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I liked having you around.” He held his hands up, releasing her. “But you’re always free to go.”

  “If I were to stay, you know what could happen, don’t you?”

  “I do.”

  She felt a flicker of anger rise up inside her. Men could be so stupid.

  “Then why do you want me to stay? You want to cheat on Jade? She’s your wife. Don’t you love her?”

  “Jade and I have been together for six years. And yes, I love her. The fact that I’ve never cheated on her is proof of that!”

  Syeesha was visibly stunned.

  “What? You’ve never—”

  “Never. I’ve teased her. Made her jealous. Kept her on her toes. But I’ve never cheated.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “I’m not asking you to. But I want you to know that I’ve been having these thoughts about you. I think about you all the time, in ways that I know I shouldn’t. And I know that if you were to stay, I wouldn’t be able to control myself for much longer.”

  He stepped forward and gently placed his hands on her shoulder.

  “Syeesha, I can’t deny the attraction I feel for you. So, yeah. I think it’s best you go. But before you do—”

  Rodney kept his eyes locked on hers like a target within his sights. He craned his head down, parted his lips, half-closed his eyes—

  “Aww!” he yelled, gripping his shirt.

  The pained yelp frightened her. She stepped back. Rodney fell to his knees, still clutching his shirt. His face contorted, then he jerked his head back.

  “Aww!”

  Another cry.

  “My God, Rodney, what is it?”

  He supported himself on his knees with one hand on the floor. Rodney opened his mouth to speak, but the pain was too great.

  “Heart attack? You’re having a heart attack?”

  Syeesha finally got her wits about her and ran to grab her cell from the den. She’d dialed 911 before she’d gotten back to him. Clumsily, she shouted the address into the phone and told the dispatcher a man was having a heart attack. She debated telling them who it was. Maybe if they knew it was Rodney, the ambulance would arrive sooner. However, they’d also alert the media. She didn’t think Jade would want that.

  Jade! She had to contact Jade.

  Rodney was completely on his back, squirming on the floor. Syeesha stroked his arm in hopes of providing some kind of comfort.

  “What are you trying to say, Rodney?”

  She still couldn’t make out the words. Rodney wrung his shirttails as if he were trying to rip it from his body.

  “You want your shirt off?”

  He shook his head vigorously and used his feet to slide away from her.

  “I’m only trying to help, Rodney.”

  She put her finger on the bottom of his shirt and began to lift it. He grabbed her arm and squeezed.

  “What is it?”

  Another sharp pain made him double over.

  After it seemed to subside, he relaxed back on the floor, dropping his hands to his side. Syeesha quickly unbuttoned his shirt from the bottom up before he could protest again.

  When she was done, she opened the shirt wide.

  “Oh my God . . .”

  She stared at his milky-white torso, unable to keep the shock from showing on her face. Handsome Rodney, dark as a burnished coin on every visible inch of his skin, had a torso as white as the rose petals lying outside the door.

  Syeesha brought her eyes up to his. His lids were closed tight, blocking her from witnessing his shame. She touched his hand, but he jerked away. Syeesha realized that he had probably been telling the truth. He’d never cheated on his wife. Probably because he was ashamed of another woman seeing him—Rodney McCann, handsome movie star turned politician—like this.

  His voice, weak and strained, cut through the quiet air with a single request.

  “Jade.”

  ***

  Chapter 36

  Syeesha paced by Rodney’s bedside. The surgery had been successful. Appendicitis. Thank heaven. It could’ve been something so much worse. Rodney was knocked out. Jade had mysteriously disappeared. Where was she?

  I know she wanted to give me breathing room, but I didn’t think she’d escape to another solar system entirely.

  “Jade?”

  Syeesha turned around. “No, it’s me, Rodney. She’ll be here when she can. She’s catching the next flight from California.”

  If she’s even in California.

  “Water.”

  Syeesha poured water into a cup. She held it to his lips while he sipped.

  “Good,” he said, wiping dribble from his chin.

  “You scared the hell out of me last night.”

  He lowered his eyes. “My body?”

  “I meant when you fell.”

  Rodney pulled the cover higher over his gown.

  “What’s wrong with your stomach? Is that a birthmark?”

  “No.” His eyes circled the room before he closed them. “It’s vitiligo.”

  “Is that what Michael Jackson had?”

  “Claimed to have had anyway. It started as a small white dot on my stomach.” He opened his eyes, but still avoided hers. “Over the years it spread. Jade used to help me with it. When I had shirtless scenes, she’d use this stuff to cover it up. But it got so much worse. Until it covered my entire torso. She couldn’t be with me on every set.”

  Rodney propped himself up higher. He moaned in pain.

  “She protected me. Kept my secret. That’s why—“ He squeezed his eyelids shut.

  Syeesha took a seat next to him, wondering if he’d ever told anyone about it.

  “That’s why what?”

  “I never cheated on her.” Finally, he opened eyes, but kept his eyes downcast. “Too ashamed, I guess. Didn’t want anyone else to see.”

  “Does Jade know that?”

  He smiled weakly. “What fun would that be if she knew the truth?”

  “Why do you toy with her?”

  Rodney turned his head to the side table.

  “Where’s my cell?”

  “Back at the apartment.”

  “When can I get out of here?”

  “The doctor said you can leave the day after tomorrow. You need to stay and rest.”

  She yawned. She hadn’t gotten much rest herself.

  “What time is it?” he asked.

  “It’s late. You came out of surgery a few hours ago.”

  “Maybe you should get home and rest.”

  “I will. Just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  He closed his eyes for so long Syeesha figured he’d gone back to sleep.

  Quietly, she stood, picked her purse up from the floor and headed out. His voice stopped her.

  “Syeesha.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I meant what I said. You need to go.”

  “Believe me. It’ll be my pleasure.”

  ***

  Chapter 37

  The next morning Syeesha arrived at the hospital before visiting hours had begun. After hanging around the waiting room, she went outside, exhausted altho
ugh it was only nine o’clock in the morning. The night before, after she’d spoken to Rodney, she had gone back to the apartment to catch a few hours of sleep. Like the dutiful assistant she had been hired to be, she had gotten up that morning and packed an overnight bag for him. Still no word from Jade. Where was she?

  Syeesha looked at her watch. Visiting hours weren’t for another two hours, but she wanted to stay close, just in case. She whipped out her cell when it rang.

  “Trina. When did you get back?”

  “Last night. I was gonna call you but I was too busy breaking things off with my guy.”

  “The same guy you went to Mexico with?”

  “Yep. Turns out he’s got more affection for liquor than he does me. He stayed sloppy drunk all day. All night. How are things going with you?”

  Syeesha stopped pacing. Had her sister just skipped an opportunity to talk about herself to inquire after her well-being?

  “I’m at the hospital with Rodney.”

  “What happened?”

  “Calm down,” Syeesha said. “The worst of it is over. He had an emergency appendectomy last night. I thought he was going to die of heart failure.”

  “Shit. You scared me for a second. I thought you’d cooked for him or something.”

  Syeesha ignored the quip and bit her lip. Eating a pound of gravel would’ve been easier than what she was about to do.

  “Trina. I need a favor.”

  “I can’t believe I bought this stupid sombrero.”

  “Trina. Did you hear me? I need a favor.”

  “Yeah, okay. What is it?”

  “I need to crash with you awhile.”

  Trina was silent on the other end. No doubt smirking over yet again having the upper hand.

  “Why?”

  Syeesha strolled up Seventy-Seventh Street. The light foot traffic and warm June morning was conducive to baring her soul. She told her sister the entire story, leaving nothing out. When she was done, she waited for Trina to berate her for not having the gumption to just sleep with him already. Hadn’t they covered this ground before?

  “Why didn’t you tell me this the last time we spoke?”

  “I did. You tried to talk me into doing it.”

  “I thought you were talking about bullshit. I didn’t think she was trying to pimp you out. She could do anything with that video. She could stick it online and pretend she didn’t know anything about it while secretly stashing away thousands in profits. I can just see it now. Representative McCann divorcing amid fallout from secretly recorded sex video with hot law student.”

  “Former law student.”

  “I see we’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

  “So? Can I stay with you while I find a new job and apartment, or what?”

  “Of course you can, stupid. As a matter of fact, I’m gonna call my housekeeper now and tell her she doesn’t have to worry about coming by anymore. She’s being replaced.”

  “Thanks, Trina. Me cleaning up after you makes me feel like I’m a kid all over again.”

  “Yeah, but now I leave much more interesting toys lying around.”

  “I have no intention of sticking around long so don’t get used to having me as your personal servant.”

  “Bad situations are blessings because they motivate you to get the fuck up out of ‘em. Living with me is going to be the best thing that ever happened to you.”

  Syeesha ignored her sister’s attempt at optimism. She slipped into a bakery, put some change on the table and came out with the morning edition. News about Rodney hadn’t made it onto the front page yet. Syeesha thought about his political team. Faces she had not recognized dropped in last night to check on him. Her eyes skimmed through the paper. Nothing about Rodney being hospitalized. Was it the result of lazy journalism or the influence of the rich? Rich people had this kind of power: to make news go away. What could the McCann’s do to a little person like her?

  “I’m coming to your place,” she said with renewed conviction. She spoke as though she could shout away the dawning of fear creeping up inside her. “I’ve got to get a few things from their apartment. First I need to make sure Rodney’s gonna be okay. Just wish I knew where Jade was.”

  “She’s not there with him?”

  “No, she left for a few days. No doubt to give us some alone time.”

  “If I were you I’d be thinking how I could get my hands on some of that money. They owe you for mental anguish.”

  “I don’t want to have anything to do with these people or their money.”

  Was that really true? If so, why had she stayed around for this long?

  Trina continued, “Jade threatened to call the cops on you for fraud. Save the pride, Syeesha. I’d make her pay to keep things quiet. And don’t talk to me about any confidentiality clauses either. Perception is reality. Their reputation could be damaged if you sued them for . . . I don’t know . . . false imprisonment? Even if you withdrew the lawsuit, it would still leave an impression on the court of public opinion. You could ruin Rodney’s career.”

  Syeesha didn’t want to ruin Rodney’s career. Part of her felt sorry for him. She was just ready to get away from them. Even Maria, who, instead of being an ally, had looked at Syeesha that day in Jade’s office as if she were a common thief. What was it that had made her stare at Syeesha that way?

  “Technically, I could’ve left any time I wanted.”

  “She threatened you, Sy,” Trina reminded her. “You were worried about your career. Hell, you were worried about being charged criminally with whatever that wack job dreamed up. You could have left, but at what cost?”

  Syeesha could hear the frustration in her sister’s voice. Why wasn’t Syeesha as angry? Why wasn’t the taste of revenge warming her blood?

  Because I thought Rodney was dying.

  Seeing Rodney on that floor had done something to her. It had made Syeesha realize how fleeting life was. She didn’t want to live another day under the weight of someone else’s threat. Jade could do what she wanted. But no longer would Syeesha pander to any of these people for the promise of good things to come.

  “Are you over there crying?” Trina asked. The prolonged silence on Syeesha’s end automatically made her sister think that she was flooding the streets with her tears.

  “Trina, I think I’m all cried out. Lost my guy. Left my school. Leaving my job. And yet . . .”

  “What?”

  “Aside from losing Christian, I don’t feel sad.”

  “Good because that ain’t the emotion I’m trying to stir up in you.”

  Syeesha pitched the newspaper in the trash. She didn’t want to read about the debt crisis or consumerism or high-stakes divorces. It felt too close to home.

  Out in the street, Syeesha hailed a cab.

  “So?” Trina asked. “What do you feel?”

  Syeesha thought about it.

  What do I feel?

  The word that came to mind startled her.

  Perhaps Syeesha had been naïve and afraid and desperate. But through all of it, she’d retained her pride. She’d need it when she walked out of the McCann’s door one last time. That image pleased her.

  “Free,” she finally said. “I feel free.”

  ***

  Chapter 38

  “You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Maria asked.

  Syeesha looked up from the mess of clothing she’d sprawled onto the bed. There wasn’t much she was keeping. The unemployed probably didn’t do much lounging around in Agent Provacateur and Jimmy Choo’s.

  “I wouldn’t call it packing so much as excavating. Trying to figure out what’s feasible in my next life.” Syeesha put the sexy red shoes that Jade had an identical pair of in the leave-behind pile.

  “Is she coming back?”

  Syeesha noticed for the first time what Maria was wearing: tight jeans, a T-shirt, and a shiny pair of ballerina flats. A departure from the usual white scrubs Jade made her wear.

  “Don’t get too comf
ortable,” Syeesha warned. “Pretty sure she’s coming back.”

  “Where will you go?”

  “What do you care?” Syeesha asked. She noticed Maria look over her shoulder, down the hall. There was no one was in the apartment but them. Jade must have really done a job on her.

  “I want to show you something,” Maria said.

  “Not interested.”

  “How do you know unless you see?”

  Syeesha sat on the bed and folded her arm. “What game are you playing?”

  “No game.”

  “Everyone in this place seems to have a game.”

  Maria shrugged. “So say you come look? If you’re not interested then you take your things and go bye-bye.”

  Syeesha wanted to go bye-bye this very minute. But she was curious. What could be so special that Maria would want her to see?

  “Fine.” Syeesha stood up. “Lead the way.”

  Without another word, Maria turned around and led the way out. Syeesha’s curiosity had gone from a low simmer to a high boil when they arrived at Jade’s office.

  “So why are we here?” Syeesha asked.

  “You were always curious about that bottom drawer.”

  “Mildly. Not everything in Jade’s office needs to be my business.”

  “This is true.” Maria hesitated as though wondering if she wanted to say more. Not for the first time, Syeesha noticed how beautiful Maria was. Why had Jade not chosen her for her little scheme? “However,” Maria continued, “just because something isn’t my business doesn’t mean I have to pretend it doesn’t exist.”

  “Let’s get to it.” Syeesha nodded toward the drawer. “What do you have?”

  Maria removed a rubber key ring from around her wrist. It held just one key. She held it out to Syeesha.

  “No thanks,” Syeesa said. “You can do the honors.”

  Maria sucked her teeth in agitation. At the drawer, the key fitted easily into the slot. The drawer opened. Syeesha took tentative steps forward. A couple of envelopes were inside. Not enough to justify having its own drawer.

  “So?” Syeesha said. “Jade’s hidden a couple of pieces of mail.” Maria, still bent down by the drawer smiled and slowly shook her head. “Jade isn’t hiding her mail?” Syeesha asked, confused.