John's Quest (Truly Yours Digital Editions)

by Cecelia Dowdy

  They walked in silence for a few more minutes before Scotty asked a question. “Mr. John, do you go to church?” John held Scotty’s hand as he guided him around the edge of the water.

  She rubbed Scotty’s shoulder, hoping he had not offended John. Since John had not participated in their prayer earlier, she now wondered about his spiritual beliefs. “Scotty, remember I told you that not all people believe the same things about God.”

  John shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind telling others about my beliefs.” His warm brown eyes turned toward Scotty as they continued to walk. “Scotty, I don’t go to church. I’m what people call an agnostic.”

  He scrunched his eyebrows, dipping his toe in the water. “What’s that?”

  She continued rubbing Scotty’s shoulder. “It means that he doesn’t know if God exists.” She looked at John. “Isn’t that right?”

  He nodded. “Yes, that’s what it means.”

  She changed the subject, not wanting to discuss his agnostic views in front of Scotty. “Did you enjoy your lesson today?” she asked her nephew.

  After the three of them discussed the bit of progress Scotty had made on his first lesson and what they needed to focus on later, they returned to their umbrella and enjoyed the chocolate marble cake Anna had given to Monica. They walked along the shore afterward and made a trip to Dairy Queen for ice cream. The sun began to dip on the horizon, spilling rays of warmth onto the water.

  “I think it’s time for us to head home,” Monica said. She hated for the time with John to end; however, it was getting close to Scotty’s bedtime.

  Once they had arrived back at Monica’s house, Scotty took his bath and Monica helped him settle into bed. John had offered to stay after Scotty fell asleep so they could talk.

  She returned to the living room after Scotty was in bed, sporting a pair of faded jeans and an oversized shirt.

  “I think Scotty had a good day,” commented John.

  Monica nodded as she invited him into the kitchen. She prepared to brew a pot of coffee. After measuring grounds into the filter, she added water and turned on the pot. Soon the aromatic scent of coffee filled the kitchen. She poured two mugs and asked him how he liked his.

  “Milk and sugar, please,” he responded.

  She tried to stay focused on her task and not pay so much attention to the scent of his cologne. As she placed the cup in front of him, she admired the way his shirt hugged his broad shoulders. He took a sip. “Perfect.” His dark eyes gleamed as he looked at her, and her face grew warm.

  “Do you mind if we go into the living room?” she asked.

  “Not at all.”

  He followed her into the living room, and they sat on her couch. The urge to turn on her praise and worship music tugged at her. However, she didn’t think John would appreciate her musical tastes. She was about to ask him about his agnostic views, but before she could speak, he made an observation. “This is a nice place you have here.”

  “Thanks.” She stirred her coffee. “Normally I wouldn’t have been able to afford a place in this town. Since this house is only a few miles from Ocean City, it’s expensive, just like most real estate in this area.”

  She continued to explain how she happened to own such a nice town house. “I didn’t buy this house. The previous owner, Carla Spencer, was an elderly woman who used to be a close friend. When she died five years ago, she had no living relatives, and I was shocked that she willed her house to me. It was practically paid for, so I refinanced. I still have a mortgage, but it’s not much more than what I was paying in the condo I lived in forty-five minutes away.” She sat on the couch, reminiscing. “I still miss Carla and so do a lot of the members of our congregation.” She sipped her coffee. “I’m touched that she left me her house.”

  They sat in silence for a while before John asked a question. “You mentioned your sister left Scotty with you because she couldn’t care for him. I was wondering if she was having trouble finding a job.”

  She shook her head and sipped her coffee. She rested the mug on a coaster. “No, it’s nothing like that. I don’t think Gina wants to work. My sister left Scotty with me, but I felt she could have cared for him if she wanted to.”

  His eyes widened as he placed his cup beside hers. “Excuse me?”

  She shrugged, folding her hands on her lap, and told him about the night two months ago when Gina had shown up with Scotty and left him in her care so she could travel with Randy in the circus.

  “What about Scotty’s father? Can’t Gina ask him to take care of their son?” asked John.

  Monica shook her head again. “No, she can’t. Gina has a history of unhealthy relationships with men. Scotty’s father, William, was into some illegal activities involving drugs. Scotty was a few days old when his father was killed as he tried to attack an armed police officer.”

  John’s eyes were full of sadness as he looked at her. “Doesn’t anybody in William’s family care about Scotty? Aren’t there other relatives on his father’s side who can help take care of him?”

  Monica sighed. “The little bit about his family that Gina told me sounded awful. Scotty’s father was white. His family never accepted Gina because of her race, and they weren’t happy about her being pregnant. William and Gina weren’t even married. She said he kept promising to buy her an engagement ring, but it never happened.” Monica toyed with her coffee cup. “Gina has always wanted to travel around the world and now that she’s met Randy, she has her chance to make her dream come true. I just wish she’d given her decision more thought.” She didn’t realize a bitter tone had crept into her voice until he placed his hand over hers.

  “Hey, are you all right?”

  She shook her head. “No, I’m not okay. Just like when we were younger, I’m trying to fix Gina’s mistakes.” She turned toward him, enjoying the warmth of his hand as she released her burden. “She disappeared for two years, and we couldn’t find her. My parents were worried because they thought she might be strung out on drugs or dead.” Tears came to her eyes as she recalled those dark two years when both she and her parents were filled with worry and dread. “We wondered how Scotty was getting along, since Gina is not very responsible. This wasn’t the first time she’d disappeared, but it was the longest she’d been gone. The other times she only disappeared for a few months, before Scotty was even born.”

  “Did you call the police and file a missing person report?”

  “We did better than that. My parents took out a loan and hired an investigator. Gina moved around a lot, and she didn’t work very much. When we managed to track down where she was living, she moved right before we could confront her.” Monica shook her head. “We let the investigator go when we couldn’t afford him anymore, but we did have evidence that she was alive for the time being.”

  She pulled her hand away, ashamed to show her vulnerability. He handed her a tissue, and she wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve been such an emotional wreck since we found out Gina is still alive and that Scotty is all right. . .well, all right physically, that is.” She turned toward him, gazing into his brown eyes. “Do you really think you can help him get back on his grade level?”

  He nodded. “I think I can. You know there are no guaranties, but if he works hard and studies, I think he’ll do fine. I’ve already spoken to his teacher a few times this week, and she’s given me his list of reading assignments for the year. He should be receiving more of his braille books shortly.”

  She was pleased he showed such faith in her nephew.

  “Have you talked to Gina since she left for the circus?” he asked.

  “No, she never calls.”

  “What about your parents? Can they help?”

  She recalled how pleased her parents were when they saw Scotty for the first time in two years. “Yes, they’ve been a bi
g help. They live near Baltimore, so they don’t see him as much as they’d like, but they do call and talk to him a lot. Also, I discovered having Scotty in my care was placing a real dent in my wallet. I hesitated going to my parents for money because they’re retired.”

  “Were they able to help you financially?”

  She nodded. “I wanted to care for Scotty on my own. I’m kind of stubborn like that. I recently asked my parents if they could give me some funds to help out while I’m raising Scotty, and they were happy to help me. My dad even scolded me for waiting so long to ask for their assistance.” She tilted her head. “As a matter of fact, they’re coming up early next Saturday morning to get Scotty and keep him for the next few days since school is out for teachers’ workdays the following Monday and Tuesday. A lot of members of their church go on field trips to some attractions in Baltimore, so they promised to take Scotty to some fun places in Baltimore City.”

  He leaned toward her. “Since Scotty will be gone, you’ll be free to do something fun next weekend,” he said. “I’ve got a lot of connections in town. There’s a new comedy club that opened on the boardwalk recently. Since I know the owner, I can get us good seats. How about it?”

  The smooth cadence of his voice beckoned her, making her want to throw caution to the wind and go out on a real date with a good-looking man. She scooted away, suddenly finding it hard to remain calm while sitting so close to him. “No.”

  His brow furrowed. “No?”

  She shook her head. “No. I can’t.”

  “Why not? Scotty will be gone, so you don’t have to worry about him next weekend.”

  “I need this time to myself to get my head back on straight. I’ve been a nervous wreck since he came to live with me, and I need this time alone to think and regroup and pray.”

  He tilted his head, seemingly confused.

  “Besides, in spite of my vows not to date since I’m trying to focus on Scotty, I still couldn’t go out with you after what I found out today.”

  “You’re talking about my religious views?” he guessed.

  She took another sip of coffee. “Yes, I can’t go out with somebody who doesn’t share my faith in God. My spiritual beliefs are what keep me centered. My faith in Jesus is the most important thing in my life. . . . It has been since I accepted Christ when I was a teenager. I rely on Jesus for everything.” Her heart rate increased as she spoke about God, and her raised voice resounded in the living room.

  “I just don’t understand your agnostic views.” She continued to look at him, grappling to understand where he was coming from. “As a matter of fact, you’re the first man I’ve ever met who is an agnostic.”

  He blew air through his lips. “I’m a science professor, so I guess that partially explains my views. Also, my parents raised me this way. Both of them were scientists, and they always said there is an explanation for everything—until you could prove God’s existence they would not believe in Him.”

  She shook her head, still startled by John’s opinion. “But how can you disprove it? Look around you—the beauty of the world, all the wonderful things on this earth, God must exist! I don’t see how you can doubt that,” she finished in a small voice.

  “I could argue with you on that one. What about death, disease, and the turmoil on this earth? Why does God let millions of people starve in foreign countries? If God does exist, why does He allow His people to suffer so much?” He gripped his coffee cup. “It’s the way I feel.”

  “I can’t give you all the answers, but I know if you believe in God and accept Him, you are guaranteed the gift of eternal life. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  He shrugged, seemingly unmoved by her statement.

  “So, I guess your parents aren’t religious at all? They don’t go to church or anything?” she asked.

  “Actually, my parents were what you would call ‘saved’ before they were killed in a car accident a couple of years ago.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. “Really? Didn’t they try to make you understand the gospel?”

  He was quiet for so long she wondered if she’d made a mistake in asking the question. She placed her hand over his. “I’m sorry. This is none of my business. You’re in my home as Scotty’s tutor, and it’s not right for me to try and force you to change your religious views.”

  He squeezed her fingers. “No, it’s okay.” He released her hand. “It’s hard for me to talk about. You see, my parents started going to church about six months before they were killed. I’m not sure what prompted them to start going or why they changed their scientific views, but a few days before they died, my dad had been calling me, saying he wanted to talk to me about something important.”

  “What did he want to tell you?” she asked.

  John shrugged. “I never found out. But after they died, several members of their congregation contacted me, expressing their condolences and offering help with funeral arrangements. I found out about their recent church attendance and newfound faith in Christ, and I knew they would want a church service due to their faith. So I had their funeral at their church and had their pastor speak.” He took a deep breath and continued. “I figured my father may have been trying to contact me to tell me about their reformed religious views.”

  She shook her head, saddened by this news. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m kind of surprised you were so open with me about this.”

  He touched her shoulder. “You know, we just met and all, but. . .I’m comfortable with you.”

  His words of praise warmed her heart. “Thanks.”

  “You’re a strong, caring woman, and it was big of you to care for Scotty.”

  She shrugged. “I had no choice. And I wasn’t doing it for Gina. I was doing it for Scotty.” She changed the subject. “Don’t you ever wonder why your parents changed their minds about God and religion? Haven’t you ever thought to search this out for yourself?”

  He rested his elbows on his knees, placing his chin in his hands. “As a matter of fact I have. Since I found out they’d changed their minds about God, I’ve thought about going to church myself to try and discover what they suddenly found so appealing about organized religion.”

  Silently praying for the courage to continue, she told him what was on her mind. “Well, why don’t you do that? There’s a class at my church every Sunday before services. It’s for new believers and for those who have not yet embraced Jesus as their Savior. I’ve heard nothing but good things about this class, and it might help you put things into perspective.”

  “Do you teach this class?”

  She placed her hand on her chest. “Me? Oh no. I lead the women’s Bible study class, and it’s taught at the same time.”

  “I’ll bet you’re a good leader.”

  Heat rushed to her face. “I try to do the best I can. We start the study off with prayer, and I just let Jesus lead me into saying the right things.”

  Exhaustion from the long day hit her. She yawned, picking up their empty cups. John followed her into the kitchen, and she sensed him watching her as she rinsed out the mugs and placed them in the dishwasher. “So, will you at least think about coming to the class tomorrow? That’s when the new session starts. You don’t have to stay for the worship service if you don’t want to, but I just feel you need this class. It’ll help you with your struggle.”

  “Who says I’m struggling?”

  “You seemed upset about your parents’ new belief in God, and I figure you’re struggling to understand how they happened to change their minds.” She placed soap into the dishwasher before starting it up. Soon the sound of swishing water filled the kitchen. “Or was it presumptuous of me to assume that about you?”

  He gazed at her. “No, you’re right. I’ve been struggling with this for the last two years.”

  “Well, do something about it
. You know, come to think of it, God might not have placed you in my path just to teach math and reading to Scotty. Maybe He wanted me to encourage you to end your struggle.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know about that. But I promise I will at least think about attending the class at your church each Sunday.”

  She walked him to the door. He touched her cheek before he waved and walked to his car. She closed the door and looked out the window, watching him drive away.

  ❧

  One week later on Saturday morning, Monica got up early, reading her daily devotions and enjoying a cup of coffee before Scotty awakened. As she began preparations for breakfast an hour later, he came into the kitchen, feeling his way toward the table. “Are you making pancakes today?”

  She grinned, heating the griddle. “Yes, I’m making pancakes. You’ll smell them cooking in a minute.” She removed sausage links from their package and slid them into a skillet. “Did you need help packing your stuff for your visit to Grandma and Grandpa’s?”

  He shook his head. “Nope. I have everything packed already.”

  She rumpled his hair. “Your grandfather is taking you to get a haircut on the way to their house today.”

  After they said grace and enjoyed their breakfast, a knock sounded on the door. Grinning, Scotty pushed his empty plate away. “Grandpa and Grandma are here!” He ran toward the door, almost tripping over a chair.

  “Be careful, Scotty!”

  Her parents soon entered the kitchen, Scotty holding his grandmother’s hand. “Is that pancakes and sausage I smell, Miss Monica?” Her father’s teasing voice filled the room as he kissed her cheek.