John's Quest (Truly Yours Digital Editions)

by Cecelia Dowdy

  “Can’t you get a lawyer or something? Try to prove she’s an unfit mother?” asked Anna.

  “I’m not sure. Right now my hands are tied. Gina is still legally his mother, but I’m leery of taking her to court to prove her as an unfit parent. The last time my parents tried this, Gina disappeared for two years. Right now I have power of attorney, but it’s only for six months. When that time frame is over, Gina has to decide if she wants to continue giving me power of attorney or if she wants to take Scotty back.”

  Karen pursed her lips. “Well, if you had to, you can prove Gina as unfit. She dumped Scotty on your doorstep.”

  She sensed the Lord did not want her to take Gina to court to get custody of Scotty. “Like I said, I can’t risk doing that. Scotty loves his mother, and he misses her.”

  Anna changed the subject. “Why did you invite John to your parents’ house for Thanksgiving?”

  “John has done a lot for Scotty over the last few months. He’s been patient, kind, and caring toward my nephew, and he doesn’t charge us a dime.”

  “But you make dinner for him every time he comes,” Karen pointed out.

  “I like cooking for him, but I wanted to do something more. When he told me he would be alone on Thanksgiving, I just knew I couldn’t allow him to do that after he’d done so much for us. So I invited him to my folks’ house. I’ve already told my mother about his agnostic views, so she doesn’t have the wrong idea about us being a couple.”

  “Speaking of your folks,” Karen commented, “are they still harping on the fact that you’re thirty-seven and not married?”

  “They haven’t been on my case about that since Kevin broke up with me. I think they were disappointed when things didn’t work out between us, especially since they met him several times and they both seemed to like him.”

  The back door banged open, and Scotty ran into the house, dropping the ball on the kitchen floor. “Aunt Monica! I’m thirsty!”

  She traipsed into the kitchen, picking up the blue ball. “Young man, put this back where it belongs.” He grumbled as he dropped the ball into the closet before removing his hat, gloves, and jacket. “We have company. Don’t forget to say hello.”

  “Hey, Scotty!” Anna hugged Scotty, and Karen kissed his cheek, leaving a smear of lipstick.

  “Yuck!” Scotty rubbed his cheek before saying hello. Monica gave him a glass of water. When he was finished, she sent him upstairs to run his bath.

  “Was he excited about talking to his mother?” asked Karen.

  “He sure was. I’m at a loss. Scotty loves his mother and misses her, yet she refuses to call regularly to check on her own son. She doesn’t even leave a phone number where she can be reached. I’m so worried. What if an emergency happens? How will I even be able to contact Gina?”

  Anna and Karen murmured words of encouragement as they gathered their coats. The three women shared a brief hug before they went their separate ways.

  Eight

  During the next couple of days, the college campus bustled with activity as the young people looked forward to the upcoming Thanksgiving break. John wondered what it would be like to spend the holiday with Monica’s family.

  As he continued to go through his week, he thought about the class he was taking at Monica’s church. His whole outlook on life was changing. The thought of there being a creator in charge of the universe was refreshing.

  On Thanksgiving morning John awoke early, still having mixed emotions about spending the holiday with Monica and her family. As he spent more time with her, his feelings grew deeper, so deep that he didn’t know what to do with himself.

  He got out of bed, taking time to read through the study notes for the church class. As a result of his time studying the Bible, he was starting to understand why Christians placed their faith in a God that was so powerful, yet loving and kind. He still wondered about a lot of things, but slowly his questions were being answered, and that was one of the things he hoped to accomplish by taking this class.

  He appeared on Monica’s doorstep an hour later. The wind howled through the trees, and snow flurried and fluttered to the ground. He buried his hands in his pockets, wondering if the temperature would rise before the end of the day.

  Monica answered the door, looking as lovely as ever. Recalling the way she pined after her ex, he held back and simply touched her arm. “You look pretty.” He noticed the dark circles beneath her eyes.

  She invited him in, and the scents that filled the house made his mouth water. He sniffed the air. “What are you cooking?”

  Giggling, she led him into the kitchen. Scotty was finishing his breakfast. “Hi, Mr. John! Did you want to taste Aunt Monica’s blueberry muffins?”

  John sniffed again. The scent of blueberry muffins and apple pie filled the air. He saw an apple and a sweet-potato pie on the stove. A carton of eggs and a plate of bacon sat on the counter. Monica removed two of the eggs from the carton. “How did you want your eggs?” She held the white oval globes, patiently awaiting his response. He realized he could get used to seeing her like this, in his own kitchen, each day, making breakfast for him.

  “Mr. John! Aunt Monica wants to know how you like your eggs!”

  He shook his head, dispelling the pleasant daydream. “I like my eggs scrambled.”

  She broke the eggs into a bowl and whipped them before pouring them into the hot skillet. After she finished cooking, she served him his eggs along with two warm blueberry muffins and bacon. John savored his meal. He’d been so engrossed in his thoughts earlier that morning that he’d forgotten to eat breakfast. She served him coffee and orange juice. When he was finished, he pushed his empty plate aside. “Monica, that is the best breakfast I’ve had in a long time.”

  After John finished his coffee, they traipsed to her car. As she started to open her door, he took her hand. “Do you mind if I drive?”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I don’t mind driving.” He touched her cheek. “You look a little tired. All you need to do is point me in the right direction once we get off the highway.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate it. Come on, Scotty.” She pulled her nephew’s hand. “Mr. John is driving us to Grandma and Grandpa’s house.”

  The boy climbed into the backseat and buckled his seat belt. He placed his music headphones on his ears and played his portable CD player, evidently tuning out the adults.

  Once they were on the highway, John was about to comment on the weather when a soft snore wafted through the car. He glanced at Monica as she dozed.

  She slept for an hour before her eyes opened, and she looked confused as they raced down the interstate, pine trees passing by in a blur. She blinked rapidly. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

  “Because you needed some sleep. I figured you’ve been awake the last few nights worrying about your sister.”

  She glanced into the backseat and saw Scotty was still occupied with his music.

  He squeezed her hand. “Although I don’t consider myself to be a Christian, I do have one Christian quality. I’m honest. I haven’t been totally honest with you about everything, but I want to rectify that now.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Well, if you haven’t noticed, I’ve been a little distant toward you over the last week.”

  She remained silent as she gazed out the window, looking at the passing scenery. He waited, seeing if she would comment on his recent behavior, but when her silence continued, he plunged on. “Well, one reason I’ve been cool toward you is because I think you still love your ex-boyfriend, and I don’t think you’ve done anything to get over him. Until you do, I can’t see you having a relationship with anybody else.”

  “You have no idea what I’m feeling, so I’d appreciate it if you kept your comments to yourself.” She was shaking. He didn’t
know if she was shaking with rage or if a sudden chill from the air had crept into her side of the car. He turned the heat up, wishing he hadn’t upset her.

  “Don’t get mad—”

  “What gives you the right to tell me how I feel about Kevin?”

  Fatigue swept over him like a tidal wave, and he wondered if they should pull over to finish this conversation. He eased the car into a truck stop and turned off the engine.

  Scotty pulled his earphones off. “Are we at Grandma’s?” His voice was full of excitement.

  “No, sport. We’re not. I had to go to a rest stop for a minute. Just listen to your music.” Scotty shrugged and replaced his earphones, turning his music back on.

  He squeezed her hand. “Please don’t be mad.”

  She glared at him. “How can I not be mad? It’s one thing for Karen and Anna to say something like that—”

  “Karen and Anna said the same thing?”

  “Yes, they did, but they’re my best friends. You haven’t known me for very long. It’s wrong of you to tell me how I feel about somebody when you can’t see into my heart. Besides, you know there’s no hope for us because of your religious views.”

  “But, I care about you a lot. I’m falling in love with you—”

  “John!” She looked at him as if he’d lost his mind.

  “I’m just being honest with you. I’m really falling in love with you, and I know we can’t be together right now. But I care about you so much that if you can’t be with me, I at least want to see you with somebody that makes you happy. You’ve got so much going on in your life with Scotty and your sister.” He stared at a family as they entered the truck stop. “I think you deserve a good man to be with you and help share your burden. If that man can’t be me, I need to learn to accept that.” He massaged her fingers. “But you should be able to find happiness with somebody else, and until you release your bitterness toward Kevin, then I think you’ll be stuck being single.”

  Her eyes flared with sparks of anger as she jerked her hand away. “What makes you think being single means being stuck? You’re the same age as I am and you’re single. Have you ever been married before?”

  The question surprised him, and he wondered if he’d jumped the gun on his advice. He just wanted her to be happy, and he knew that with her present situation, if she had a good, kind husband to lean on, she wouldn’t worry so much and would take better care of herself. “No, I’ve never been married before.”

  She folded her arms, still looking at him. “Why not?”

  He took a deep breath, wondering how he should answer her question. She was easily the first woman he loved in several years, but it wouldn’t answer why he’d never married. “I guess you could say that the one time I asked a woman to marry me, she said no.”

  “Why?”

  He closed his eyes, trying to ease the painful memories. “Because she said she couldn’t marry somebody who didn’t believe in God.”

  “A Christian woman seriously dated you?” Monica asked, her anger seemingly forgotten.

  John sighed. “When I first met Gabriela, she wasn’t a Christian. We were in graduate school, and she was working on her PhD in physics. She always said she didn’t need God in her life, so my agnostic views didn’t bother her. We’d been dating for a year when her twin sister died of cancer. Her twin was a Christian, and she shared her faith with Gabriela before her death. After Gabriela’s sister died, she changed.”

  “How did she change?”

  “She started reading her Bible and going to church. I thought it was just a phase she was going through. I’d already planned on asking her to marry me, so when I did, she told me that her views about God had changed. She told me of her recent decision to accept the Lord in her life, and she wasn’t sure if a relationship with me would work unless I shared her views.” He recalled how Gabriela’s brown eyes had filled with tears as she delivered the news, and she also told him how much she loved him.

  Her anger seemed to disappear, followed by compassion. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.” She squeezed his arm. “It’s too bad your religious views have kept you from sharing your life with somebody special.”

  He was tempted to tell her his views were shifting lately, but didn’t want to give her the false impression that he’d changed his mind about God. He decided to wait and see what he believed when he completed the class at her church.

  He changed the subject. “I’m sorry I said you were stuck. I didn’t mean that in a bad way. But you have this sad look when you see your ex, and it seems like you two really had something special. I think you can find that with somebody else, and until you put the past behind you, you’ll be stuck with fantasies of your life with Kevin. . .fantasies that more than likely will never come true.”

  She looked out her window at a trucker running to his vehicle while yelling to one of his driving buddies before getting into his rig.

  “Are you all right?” he asked.

  She turned toward him. “Look, you might have a point about Kevin. Both Anna and Karen have mentioned the same thing to me, and I just need to let those memories go and not focus on him so much during church.”

  “That’s why I suggested one time that you change churches.”

  “I told you why I can’t do that.”

  He nodded. “I know, but you need to do something. I’m sure you’re making both Kevin and his wife uncomfortable, staring at them like that during the service.”

  She thought about his advice. “Do you really think they notice? It’s not like I sit there and blatantly stare at them.”

  “Well, you look over there enough. I think they know what you’re doing. I see you talking to other church members after the service, but I’ve never seen you speak to them.”

  She huffed. “Well, maybe I just don’t have anything to say to them.”

  “Uh-huh,” he said. “Aren’t Christians supposed to forgive? If you’re a true Christian as you claim, shouldn’t you forgive him for what happened?”

  She rolled her eyes, staring out the windshield. She checked her watch. “Can we continue this conversation another time? My parents will be expecting us shortly, and they’ll worry when we don’t show up on time.”

  He started the ignition. The rest of the drive was made in silence.

  As John drove through Baltimore, she told him about some of the nostalgic places she used to visit while growing up. She pointed to the Inner Harbor and mentioned the fun she had shopping in the many stores built around the waterfront. A few boats bobbed in the frigid water, and the squiggly wave decorating the Baltimore Aquarium shone in the distance. As they passed the Maryland Science Center, he reminisced about the field trips he’d taken while he was in elementary and junior high school. When he turned a corner, he hoped Monica’s mood lifted as they made their way to her house.

  ❧

  After Thanksgiving Monica kept thinking about how much fun she had spending the holiday with John. In spite of their argument, they did have a good time with her parents. The only sad part of the holiday was when Gina unexpectedly showed up on her parents’ doorstep with a black eye and wearing a tight dress and high heels. She was drunk, and Monica’s father had to pay the taxi driver for Gina since she had no money. Scotty had been so ecstatic to see his mother that he refused to accompany Monica back home.

  Monica wondered what had happened to Randy, the trapeze artist Gina was supposed to marry. When Monica’s mother questioned Gina about her marriage, Gina shouted that she didn’t want to talk about it. Her parents said they’d drop Scotty off during the weekend, so she hoped they were able to convince him to come back to live with her in Ocean City.

  Her thoughts returned to John. Having John with her at her parents’ house made it seem as if they were really a couple.

  As she cleaned her house and
pulled a box of Christmas decorations from the attic, she came across a box of mementos she’d collected with Kevin. She opened the box, scanning the pictures of her and Kevin at social events. She even found a printed copy of an old e-mail he’d written to her when he was away on an extended business trip. He claimed how much he’d missed her and that his strong affection for her kept him awake at night. She opened a heart-shaped box next. It had been filled with expensive chocolates. She sniffed the interior, still detecting the faint scent of cocoa.

  She stuffed the items back into the box, again recalling how much she had loved Kevin. Since her breakup with him had been so sudden and painful, she wanted to be cautious about loving another man. John had said he was falling in love with her, and she knew her emotions were just as strong.

  But what would happen between them if he never accepted Christ?

  She knew if he never accepted Him as his Savior, she could never have a relationship with him. As she threw her memorabilia into the garbage and removed Christmas decorations from the cardboard box, she wondered if she would be strong enough to survive another breakup as devastating as the one she’d had with Kevin. Should she continue to spend free time with John, falling in love with him, when he was unsure about his salvation?

  She stared at the Christmas decoration in her hand. Her heart was telling her to keep seeing John, but her mind was telling her to be cautious. “Oh Lord,” she prayed, “I don’t think I’m strong enough to continue seeing John until I know for sure that he’s accepted You. Please guide me in saying the right words when I see him at church on Sunday.” Tears stained her cheeks as she finished her short prayer. She wiped them away, sensing she’d made the right decision.

  ❧

  The following Sunday after class, John searched the sanctuary for Monica. He saw Anna and Dean before spotting Karen and Monica in the middle pew. Monica looked toward him, and their eyes met. As he took a seat beside her, he noticed her dark eyes looked troubled.