Dangerously Bad
Page 9
This is not happening.
It was like some dark dream—one she hadn’t allowed herself to indulge in for too long. When he slid a hand down over her ass and gave a hard spank, then another, and another, her body went loose, surrendering even before her mind was made up. But no, that wasn’t true—her mind had been made up that day in his shop, when she’d seen him up close for the first time. Which was maybe the first real truth she’d told herself about kink and connection in years.
“Breathe, my lovely,” he commanded.
She pulled in a breath, exhaled as he grabbed the curve of her ass through her dress hard.
“Fuck, Duff.”
“Now, princess? But we’re in a public place,” he murmured, his voice low and rough. He started moving her backward, murmuring to her, “I’m going to be thinking about that, particularly since it’s off the table. For now. But there are still plenty of other things I can do to you while still respecting the boundaries you’ve put in place. Oh, yes, I can be very creative when the need arises. And things are rising right now, my lovely girl, which makes me a very formidable man.”
Suddenly her back was up against one of the tall pillars and he was pressing his hips into her, the hard ridge of his arousal a solid shaft grinding against her. And she went soft all over, damp between her thighs. Some part of her thought she should protest. But why? She wanted this man in a way she hadn’t wanted anyone in forever. Truly forever. She’d never felt desire like this before—as if her body would go up in flames if she didn’t do something to bank the embers before they engulfed her. Then Duff leaned in and kissed her neck, sucking and biting, his tongue making slow, sensual patterns on her tender flesh, and all she could do was sigh. Sigh. And surrender.
He pulled back to whisper against her throat, his Scottish brogue thick, “I hear your breath. I can feel it, you know. The rough, warm exhale. The way your body softened under my hands, under my mouth. When I kissed the pulse beat at your neck, it was racing. As fast as my own blood is, Layla. You do something to me. I’ll admit it. I’ll admit it’s all I can do to hold on to some control. But I’ve got it. I’ve got you. Don’t worry about that. Now be a very good girl and do as you’re told.”
She gasped as he spun her in his arms, then pressed down on the back of her neck until she was forced to lean forward. And despite the alarm bells clanging in her brain, she let him do it, didn’t argue. Didn’t want to.
“Good girl. Hang on to that column. Hang on tight. Because I’m about to spank the hell out of you, right here on the edge of this lovely lake, with nothing but the moon to see. Maybe nothing but the moon. But that’s a chance we’ll just have to take. Because I’m not waiting. And because I know you’ll like it, this little bit of risk. Oh, yeah.”
She could not believe she was doing this, but she was. Bracing her hands on the cool stone pillar, she bent at the waist as he pulled her hips back. He kept one strong thigh against hers as he stood a little to one side of her. Stroking the back of her bare thigh, he inched the hem of her dress up, higher and higher, until it was bunched around her waist.
“Black lace. Very nice.” He smoothed the edge of her panties up a little more, baring her ass, then ran his palms over the exposed flesh. “Ah, your skin is amazing. As soft and silky as I knew it would be.”
He smacked her ass, just hard enough to sting, and she wanted to lean into his hand. To ask for more. Was this really her doing these things?
But all conscious thought fled from her mind when he began to whale on her, the blows coming hard and fast, taking her out of her head. It was all she could do to process the sensation—sensation that turned very quickly into pain. And just as quickly into pleasure. His big hand came down on her again and again, and her breath was coming in short, sharp pants. The pain was beginning to overwhelm her, and just as she realized she would have to call “yellow,” he stopped, running his smooth palm over the soreness.
“Duff . . .” She nearly choked trying to say his name, a small knot forming in her throat.
His voice was right next to her ear. “What is it, princess?”
“I don’t know. I don’t . . .” She had to pause, trying to figure out what she needed to say, what she was feeling. “It’s so much all at once.” It was the best she could do.
“Too much? Too hard?”
“No. I . . . No. That’s not it.”
He pulled her upright, holding her close, so that her shoulders were against his chest. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”
She shook her head, but the words came anyway. Words she maybe didn’t want to say, rather than not knowing what they were. “I haven’t felt anything like this in . . . I’ve never felt this. This instant sinking into subspace. This instant need for more, when I thought—I knew—I’d fight it for a while. When I wasn’t sure I’d be able to go there, to be taken there ever again. But all you have to do is touch me, and it simply happens. And I don’t like it.” She shook her head hard. “I don’t like it,” she repeated, then said very quietly, “except that I do.”
“Ah, princess. Don’t you know this is exactly how it’s supposed to happen? If it wasn’t meant to we’d still be back at my shop arguing, yeah? Yeah, I think it’s so. Your body knows it. So does mine. Let me do my job here. All you have to do is give yourself. Give yourself to me. I will take care of everything. Try to quiet the demons arguing inside your beautiful head, telling you to struggle against what you clearly want. All you have to do is be.”
He stroked her cheek, and she leaned her head back against his muscular chest, relief flooding her system.
“All you have to do is be.”
When had any man ever said those words to her? When had anyone ever had that intention? She wanted to fall into the very idea of it. With Duff. Because she knew he meant every word he said, and it made it safe. He was the real thing. The kind of Dominant all the others should have been and never were.
Duff.
She sighed, let her body sink against his, because she knew she could. His arms held her, so, so strong, wrapping her up. His scent was all around her. Pure sex. But also pure man, pure dominance. Pressing back into him, she reveled in the hardness of his cock against her back, loved knowing she’d caused it. And her sex went wet—soaking wet—in an instant. She ground her ass against him. He moaned and pulled back, spun her until she faced him, holding her at arm’s length.
“This is going to get very dangerous very fast, my lovely girl, if you keep that up.”
“What if I want it to?” she challenged.
He ground his jaw tight for a moment. “Then it’s my responsibility to see nothing happens.”
She shook her head. It wasn’t computing. “Nothing?”
“Not with you in subspace. It was damned idiotic of me not to initiate negotiations around sexual contact.” He yanked her in close, his breath warm against her cheek as he murmured, “Because as badly as I need to throw you up against this pillar and fuck you until you scream into the night, I need to make you come even more. Oh, yeah. Make you come over and over. Until your knees buckle. Until you’re limp and sobbing my name. Until you can’t even beg me for more.”
“Mmm.” She bit her lip, her body absorbing his words even more than her brain, and all of it was scorching hot. Making her need with a white-hot fury. Making her tremble all over.
“Duff . . . please.”
“You see, there’s the idiocy in this. Because experienced Dom that I am, I’m also the stupid arse who didn’t even think of discussing it once you said you wouldn’t sleep with me. So now I do the noble fucking thing and take you home, then spend the rest of the night stroking off while I think of your gorgeous skin and the sound of your panting breath as I cuss myself into the dirt.” He paused, his grip on her arms clenching and unclenching. “Then, tomorrow, if you’re still talking to me, we start a new part of the negotiations, with you having
a clear head and me being so damn horny for you I won’t be seeing straight.”
As bereft as she was, her body buzzing with desire, she couldn’t help but laugh at his self-deprecation.
“Ach, I’m funny, am I, princess? I’m a sad, sad case, I tell you. Have you no pity for my plight?” He clucked his tongue. “Tsk, tsk. Another check on the ledger for you, my lovely.”
“You are not the only one suffering, you know.”
“I know. But that makes it even worse. I haven’t done my job with you, and for that I must apologize.”
“Wow.”
The dim moonlight lit his face just enough that she could see him arch his dark brows.
“Wow, what?”
“A true gentleman Dom. I was beginning to think you were nothing more than a myth.”
“Yeah, us and the Loch Ness Monster.” His small grin faded as his face sobered, and he touched her shoulders with gentle hands, making her heart swell in a way she didn’t quite understand. “It really is unforgivable of me. I need to make sure you come out of every scene satisfied, fulfilled. Feeling good. It’s what I’ve charged myself to do, beyond any Safe, Sane and Consensual code of ethics. It gets me off, to be honest, but it’s also the only way I’ll feel good about myself. And I want that for you. I want this to be good for you. I understand how fragile you are going into this, given whatever your negative history has been. I don’t take that lightly, despite my joking around. Right now, with us—this timing—it can either make or break you. And while I want to break you down in order for you to reach the heights of submission you’re meant for, I have no desire to break you. Or I do. But only in the way that will serve your needs. And you do need it. I saw it from the start—that side you keep hidden because it makes you too vulnerable. That need to be broken in exactly the right way.”
Her chest went tight. She couldn’t believe he was saying these things to her.
“How do you get me so well?” she asked.
He pulled a breath in, paused, blew it out slowly. “We all have some damage, the detritus of our pasts, yes? Yeah. We’ve all been broken in some way. We’re all of us seeking some sort of rebirth through kink. Even my big, ugly self. Me maybe more than you.” Pausing, he cleared his throat, his hands going gentle on her. “Now, my lovely, I think we ought to get you home.”
She nodded, even though she didn’t want the evening to end. But she also had enough experience in kink to know she was a little out of her head, and it was best that he was the one making the decisions tonight.
Give it over to him. He really will take care of everything.
The idea almost made her want to cry, but she wasn’t much of a crier. Still, she had to swallow past a lump in her throat.
He took her hand and led her back to her car, where he took her keys and put her into the passenger seat, then went around to the driver’s side and let himself in.
“Thank you for trusting me with your car,” he said. “You know I’ll treat her as the precious thing she is.”
“I do know that,” she answered as he started the engine. “I know a lot of things about you after tonight.”
“Do you, now?”
“Yes,” she answered, her head too light to allow her to really filter what she was saying, which was what she’d have normally done. But there was nothing “normal” about being with Duff. Not for her. “I know you’re what I think of as a ‘true Dom,’ the kind who takes the great responsibility that comes with great power very seriously. I know . . . that I can trust you. That I can give myself over into your hands in a way I frankly thought was highly unlikely, at best. And that you believe in my ability to reach that scary, ethereal place that is submission, even when I can’t believe it myself. I’m still not sure how far I can go.”
She could see from the dimple in his cheek that he was grinning. “Could be mere ego on my part.”
“Yes. It could be. Except that it’s not.”
He turned and flashed a quick smile at her, and something in his expression made her go warm all over—with desire and pleasure and that sensation of just having had a momentary meeting of the minds. She liked it, despite herself. And had to admit it was happening a lot.
“How am I getting to your house?” he asked.
“I’ll show you the way.”
He turned to glance at her for a moment, his face sober despite the small smile still lingering there. “Yeah. I think you will, at that.”
She absorbed the words, cuddled into the leather seat and held them to her. She had no idea why she felt so warmly pleased. So . . . happy.
She hadn’t been happy for far too long.
When they pulled into her driveway, she had a flashback of the orgasm she’d had in that very spot so recently. Her body heated, but she fought it down as she unbuckled her seat belt and grabbed for the door handle.
“Ah, now that I won’t have, princess. Wait there while I come round.”
She was too confused to do anything but follow his directive. In a moment he’d opened the car door and was helping her out. He walked her up the shallow stairs to her front door, where he slid an arm around her waist and looked into her eyes.
“How are you doing?” he asked.
“Me? I’m fine.”
“Flying at all? Do you need aftercare?”
“Oh. No. I’m . . . I feel a little light-headed, but I had a pretty good endorphin rush. I seem to be coming down nicely. And I can call Kitty if I need aftercare.”
“You can call me if you need aftercare. Although if you need it right now, I’ll have to find a way to do it while keeping this raging hard-on as far away from your luscious body as possible so I won’t ravage you inappropriately.”
She grinned. “Is there any other way to ravage?”
“I suppose not. Perhaps one of the most promising features of a good ravage.”
She shook her head. “I’m really fine, Duff. I promise. I’m going to have a hot bath, then go to bed.”
He cleared his throat. “All of which creates some lovely imagery that, alas, is not helping my current situation. But go on—into your bath. Expect a call from me sometime tomorrow. And I’d like to see you tomorrow night.”
“I’m not sure if that was phrased as a request or an order.”
He winked at her, his wide mouth spreading in a grin, the dimples creasing his cheeks as he handed her keys back to her. “Neither am I. Now get inside before I have my way with you on your front porch.”
She put the key in the lock while he stood just behind her, and even with her back to him she could feel his presence, the heat radiating from his big body. Once the door was open she turned to face him once more.
He had one hand braced over her head on the doorframe, his head bent, his eyes full of shadows and questions and the same lust she felt, as if it were mirrored there. He stared down at her for what felt like a very long time while her body filled with anticipation and a stark hunger that gnawed at her belly. No, it wasn’t her belly that begged to be fed.
Finally, he said, “Know that I want to kiss you, princess. But if I do, I can’t be held responsible for my actions.”
She blinked once, knowing damn well she was playing with fire. “Do it anyway.”
CHAPTER
Five
DUFF HEARD THE challenge in her tone. The stark need. And felt it reverberate like an echo in his system. He took one step closer.
You are losing your shit, man.
Another step closer, and she tilted her chin, clearly waiting—wanting—to be kissed. Could he simply kiss her and leave it at that?
Fuck no.
He was doing it anyway.
He grabbed her slim waist and yanked her in hard, a small growl escaping his tortured throat as he ground his hard-on against her sweet body, pressing against her curves. One hand went into her hair, grabbing on
tight, pulling her head back and back. And then he went for her throat. Went for it like the hungry wolf he was, teeth and tongue, lapping and biting, drinking her in, then moving up to her jaw, lingering there, nipping and kissing before he found her mouth.
And oh, sweet Christ, her mouth was nothing short of perfection, her lips full and succulent beneath his. He licked them, sucked them, heard her quiet moan. Then he opened her lips with his tongue—had to—and some part of him knew it was all over. He was drowning in this woman.
Pressing her back a step, then another, he kicked the front door shut behind him. When she backed a step away from him, her green eyes glittering in the dim light of a single hanging lamp, he saw the question there. Her small palms rested on his chest—small, yet he felt the enormous power of the woman she was in them. The woman who was challenging his control—hell, the woman who had torn it down like a brick wall crumbling under the slam of a wrecking ball. He tried to catch his breath as he waited for her to tell him to get out.
Fuck.
She shook her head the tiniest bit, but his cock only throbbed harder.
“This is a pretty kind of hell I’m in, princess. But I can’t help but like it.”
“Duff . . . ?”
“Lovely Layla,” he murmured, reaching out to stroke his thumb over her cheek.
“We should not be doing this. I know that. And I can’t . . . I can’t promise you I’m clearheaded enough to make a decision right now. But I want this. Now. Right now. Don’t make me wait.”
“Jesus, woman. As if I could after you telling me this.”
Her nails dug into his chest then, through the fabric of his T-shirt. And he swore as he tore it over his head, then advanced on her, heat rushing through his system, coiled like a serpent waiting to escape in his belly, his balls. He grabbed her, kissed her mouth hard, released her to unzip her dress, pushing her farther back into the living room the whole time. He pulled the straps down over her shoulders, then her red bra straps as he spun her around, then tore the pretty scarf from her hair and slipped it over her eyes.